I Have Returned, but I Cannot Lay down My Gun

〈 Chapter 2 〉 1 – Second Day

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For one person, a change in the surrounding environment meant stress.

The change in the environment required adaptation to that situation, and the more rapid the process, the greater the stress proportionately.

Although some people liked quick changes, most people wanted to live a life that was not significantly different from before.

This was because they could predict, control, and prepare for it.

However, conversely, an unexpected change in an unpredictable, uncontrollable, and even unprepared situation was never welcome.

Therefore, on the day I returned, I was just locked in the room without any thought.

All I could do was take off my equipment, throw it in a corner, and think with half-open eyes until 4 a.m.

Wasn’t it more like I was thrown back home rather than returning? I denied and affirmed countless thoughts, including such ones.

It wasn’t until I couldn’t stand the physiological phenomenon that couldn’t be stopped by anything, that I lifted my face buried between my knees and staggered to the bathroom.

That was the first time I used the bathroom and shower after returning.

And so came the second day.

There was nothing special. Specifically, because it followed a twelve-hour sleep right after the shower.

Then I woke up around 5 p.m.

Since I was starving, I barely got up, forcibly ignored the negative thoughts creeping up in my drowsiness, and searched the house, finding a few packs of ramen.

That was the first meal I had after returning.

After the meal, the things I had to do naturally came to mind.

Although I was buried in negative emotions, it was as if they floated to the surface like bubbles as a few desires were resolved.

There were many things to do.

So I started searching the house.

To live in modern society, money was needed.

Especially since my body had changed to this state, and with the completely wrecked physical efficiency that demanded food after just one day of starvation, it was even more urgent.

Eventually, unless humans completely shed their essence, they couldn’t escape the shadow of appetite and sleep, so what I did as soon as things settled down was to check various statuses.

From my current identity to how much money I had.

There were many banks in the market, as there always had been.

But naturally, because my past memories were not completely erased, it was natural for my hand to reach for the bank I used before.

The name and photo had changed. But fortunately, through the ICARUS Gear, I could check my identity and even secure my changed social security number.

The money I found was enough to secure short-term relief but not enough to stay at home for a long time.

Only a short curiosity about how I gathered this money remained, but I quickly stopped caring as it seemed I might never find out.

Though I was a bit concerned about how to make money in the future, considering that the ICARUS Gear had also come over, the solution would come out soon.

───Ziiik!

Anyway, the first thing I did with that money was buy groceries.

Meal kits that didn’t require much effort, especially soup dishes that could be eaten for a long time. I ordered them by the box. Since it was delivered from a nearby store, I could receive it in an hour or two.

I tore off the tape around the box and left out only a few to cook immediately, storing the rest in the refrigerator.

It might sound a bit late to say this, but this house was somewhat excessive for a single person to live in.

Despite that, the types of clothes, furniture, and other items were quite unified, so it didn’t seem like more than two people lived here.

What did my past self… that is, the past self of this place, do?

I took the time to search the house, but there wasn’t even a common photo book.

It was quite amusing that I didn’t know my own past.

While eating, I organized the tasks in my head.

First, I had to hide all the things I brought over to this place. It was impossible to stash them in the house. This wasn’t America, who hides guns at home?

But today, it was a bit too much to go out.

It was a bit embarrassing to say, but I was very mentally exhausted today.

Although I somewhat expected from my ID card that this world was not the one I remembered, receiving a delivery while wagging a tail the size of my thigh caused considerable mental burden.

My old comrades would have laughed their heads off.

In the end, after finishing the dishes, I sprawled out with nothing particular to do.

There’s an old saying that laziness is a sin, but conversely, it might be because it makes people so corrupt. In other words, it meant both body and mind were comfortable.

The computer had been calculating for a few hours. It was my desperate struggle to somehow bring over the money I earned in the previous world. If it went well, the financial problem would no longer trouble me.

Time flew by so fast that if I took my eyes off for a moment, it would have already passed by.

Although I wanted to say something grand, honestly, it was pitch dark outside. Actually, it was already midnight. Considering I slept all day, it made sense.

Getting up after sleeping, eating, fiddling with the computer, eating again, and then sleeping.

It was pure laziness. It was exemplary. If there was a professor in charge of laziness, I might have received an A+.

It was regrettable that most of the day had flown by.

But conversely, to rationalize a bit, I would be busy starting tomorrow, so in a way, it was a rest.

Special forces soldiers, who were excellent in actual combat, were also a mess when resting ─ this was a step in preparing for tomorrow.

Still, I couldn’t do absolutely nothing, so the best choice was to search the house again.

───Click!

With a cheerful sound, the wardrobe opened. I hadn’t opened this place yet.

Surprisingly, it contained some of the items I needed most.

“…Oh.”

Two travel suitcases.

I didn’t know why they were stashed here, but the sure thing was, I saved money.

I might not be able to carry all the extra equipment, but I had to pack as much as I could. I started disassembling the guns hidden in a corner of the room.

Since the guns were covered in powder fragments, dust, and soot, I inevitably used several towels for cleaning, which was still not perfect.

But what did it matter, I might never use them again anyway.

Before I knew it, it was past 2 a.m.

The schedule was still unclear. Honestly, since I returned, I hadn’t led a proper life.

In other words, it meant I needed to fix this lifestyle soon.

After stuffing the disassembled parts and equipment into the suitcase as much as possible, I zipped it up and moved it slightly. There seemed to be no major problems with movement.

I washed my dirty hands in the bathroom.

Black soot and concrete dust washed away with the soap. The black water disappeared down the sink. It flowed away indifferently.

I might never have another opportunity to wash my hands for this reason.

Maybe, I was gradually parting with the past in this way.

It had only been two days since I returned, but suddenly I had such thoughts.

───Click.

When I turned off the house lights, darkness descended.

Maybe because the ceiling light was too bright, I seemed to have forgotten that this time was the dark time.

Even though I slept for twelve hours straight and woke up, sleepiness gradually overcame me as I lay in bed and covered myself with a blanket.

It was quiet.

Only the lights from the neon signs and panels of the opposite building, which would never go out, contended with the darkness across the veranda window.

Before falling asleep, I looked at the ceiling.

It was pitch dark.

The thought that my future, not knowing what would happen, was like this darkness suddenly popped up, but when did I ever know such things?

It was just a meaningless negative emotion. After all, as always, you could only know about tomorrow’s affairs when tomorrow came.

“…I don’t know.”

It was time to set aside concrete worries and greet tomorrow.

Thus, my second day came to an end.