I Got Isekai’d, Well Shyt!

Ryan didn't know how to feel at the moment. She felt horrible about crushing the Hobgoblin King's junk in order to escape. But she could recall in the past when she felt the pain from getting an accidental nut shot herself when she played a game of ultimate frisbee. It was embarrassing that she went down so easily. But the pain made it hard to breathe. And what she did was a hundred times worse than slightly getting flicked in the nuts.

But she knew she couldn't let those other Goblins touch her. She always thought it was overkill to read fantasy light novels that made the Goblins so rapey. But it sucked that the authors were so on the ball about these little fuckers. And now she was a female. She didn't want to find out if getting fucked by these creatures will result in her death. So she needed to get out of there as fast as she could. But hobgoblins were still hot on her trail, sprinting through the forest towards her. As Ryan ran towards the mountains, she could barely see through the trees.

Ryan swiftly moved through the forest more gracefully than she had ever done before. Her mind was racing to find a way to lose these creeps. She couldn't trust herself to defeat those bigger Golbins with fists only. She needs to get away from here, but how?

If only Nebulus could have taught her one of the spells that used teleport, then she would have used it ages ago. Still, she doesn't know any other magical spells besides 'Dark Earth Blade,' which is only usable with a bladed weapon, and those crappy Goblin swords broke almost instantly when she cast her spell. So Ryan had to improvise if she was going to make it out of there alive.

While she continued to move through the forest like the wind, her thoughts were cut short when an arrow flew by and grazed her leg, causing her to stumble and fall to the ground.

"What the fuck!" Ryan yelled as she tried to get up.

She looked to her left and saw a Goblin with a crossbow aiming his sights at her.

Ryan knows that many more goblins will come after her if she turns around. 'This is not my goddamn day!'

She rolls out of the way as the goblin shoots a bolt at her. The bolt hits the ground next to her as dirt, and some small stones kick up from the arrow's impact.

Ryan keeps rolling as a few more arrows almost hit her. She notices a bush that might give her cover as she is still moving. So she continues to roll towards it until she finally lands in the bush. With their crossbows, the Goblins lose sight of her but continue to shoot into the bush, making some leaves fall out of it.

She raises her head once the volley of arrows stops and sees the bigger Goblins approaching her location. They wanted to capture her so badly that Ryan could see their cocks getting erect.

"God dammit! I never knew how bad some women had it until this shit happened to me!" Ryan complained as she looked around, trying to find somewhere to run, and noticed that there were old stone ruins mixed in the forest.

She hears the Goblins getting closer to her. Their heavy breathing echoed through the forest. 

'Fuck it! I'm going to make a b-line to the ruins!' Ryan thought before taking a deep breath and ran towards the ruins where some Goblin archers were finding.

‘Come on! Please let there be a way for me to lose them there!'

Ryan runs at full speed towards the ruins and hears the Hobgoblins closing in on her like flies to shit.

"God! Take a FUCKING HINT!" Ryan yelled at her pursuers as she ran with all her might.

The Hobgoblins and more of the normal Goblins were closing in on her location and ready to surround her.

Ryan picked up her pace as she was only 15 yards away from the ruins.

She had to keep dodging the incoming attacks of the Goblins as she passed by an old obelisk. That was when one of the Hobgoblins finally caught up to her from the other side of the obelisk and tackled her from behind.

"Oof!"

Ryan grunts as she hits the ground hard after feeling the weight of the Hobgoblin crushing her into the dirt.

She looks up to see another Goblin looking down at her with a shit-eating grin.

"HAHAHHAAHA!" The Goblin cackled as he brought his axe down towards her with the Hobgoblin still on her back. Ryan's instincts kicked in as she rolled towards the axe. Moving the Hobgoblin directly into its path.

"YYYYAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!" screamed the Hobgoblin as he felt the crude axe imbed itself into his back.

The Goblin panicked when he saw his ax struck his ally and saw blood flowing out of his back. The Hobgoblin turned towards him with fury in his eyes.

"STUPID WORM!!!" The Hobgoblin yelled as he pulled the axe out of his back and used it on his attacker. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!"

Ryan hit the deck before the Hobgoblin swung the axe horizontally with such ferocious force that the blunt end of the axe hit the Goblin. It sent him flying into the old obelisk with such force that it damaged the stones in the base of the ruin.

"GORUUGGGHHHH! FUCK!" The goblin cried out as he was covered in blood from his face getting smashed in against the rock, and having his ribcage crashed when he got clubbed by his own axe also made him puke blood.

Ryan was dumbfounded momentarily as she watched the Goblin die there in a few seconds, as the Hobgoblin turned his attention back towards her.

'Shit! He's still alive!? He took a fucking axe into his back!' Huh? What's that sound?'

*Crack! Crack! Crack!*

That was when Ryan noticed the base of the obelisk was cracking from the dead Goblin that had smashed into it. It didn't take long for the old stone structure to start falling towards them like a chopped-down tree.

The Hobgoblin was unaware of the danger approaching them until a shadow was cast from the ever-approaching stone structure.

"HUH!?" He muttered as he looked confused by the darkening shadow. Ryan needed to get out of the path of the falling obelisk, but the Hobgoblin still had her leg and without a moment too soon. Ryan kicked him in the gut and rolled out of the way as the giant stone smashed into the Hobgoblin. Crushing him like a bug.

*BOOM!*

"Fuck that was too close! Huh!?" Ryan didn't have time to respond once she felt the ground moving under the impact zone obelisk as the ground started to collapse in on itself.

"SHIT!" Ryan yelled as she couldn't get a good foothold as the dirt fell into the newly formed sinkhole. She reached out just as she fell in and managed to grab ahold of the newly created ledge. Her body smacked into the side of the wall as she held onto the ledge for dear life. Once the obelisk collapsed into the earth, it revealed a hidden ravine, and Ryan could barely hear the slashing of water below from all the falling dirt and stones.

"AH! Fuck!" Ryan yelled out as she held onto the edge of dirt that was crumbling in her hands. She could feel the ground shake and crack open more before she plunged into the darkness below. Luckily, there was an underground lake at the bottom of the ravine.

Ryan plunged into the deep, dark water.

*SPLASH!*

‘JESUS!’ Ryan thought as she felt herself slowing down in the dark depths of the water. She was a little worried about drowning when she felt her feet hit the bottom of the lake. When she got her bearings, she quickly pushed off the floor and tried to swim to the surface. She was about 25 feet below the water, and feeling the pressure of the water on her body was impressive.

'Come on, swim, Ryan!' She thought to herself as she kicked her legs and moved her arms as fast as she could. 'I know I haven't swam in a while, but you can do it!'

Her lungs were burning for air since her heart rate was up, and she was still 10 feet away.

'Just hold on, Ryan, just hang on!' She thought to herself as she was coming to the surface.

*Splash!*

"HHHHAAAAA!" Ryan gasps for fresh air as she breaks the surface. Her hair was soaked and heavy, and she was finally relieved to breathe air after so long. She had no idea how long she was down there. But she was thankful that she didn't fall on solid rock.

Once she calmed down, she noticed that thanks to her growing assets, she could float on the surface much more easily than when she was a man.

"God, I need a vacation," Ryan said as she swam towards a rock. She looked around the place that she fell into. 

There were a lot of large stalagmites and stalactites. And some more miniature stalactites near the surface. She then looked up at the opening in the ceiling, which looked like it was over 100 feet high. She stayed still for a while to see if any Goblins were planning to pursue her, but they didn't jump down the ravine to get to this cavern.

'I guess they think I'm dead. I hope?' Ryan thought to herself as she sighed in relief. Once she believes the coast is clear, she finally starts to relax.

"WOOO!" she cried out as she climbed onto the rock and sat down. She took off her boots and socks and jumped back into the water, starting to wade through the surprisingly clear water.

"Damn, this feels good." She said as she felt the warm waters caress her exhausted body.

She dunked her head under the warm crystal-clear water to get rid of any dirt and sweat that may still be on her. Then she swam back to the rock that had her boots and sat on the edge. She reached over her back and started massaging the sore muscles in her neck.

"Ah, Ahhh!" Ryan sighed as she felt some relief in her shoulders from the simple massage. She smiled and let the water flow over her feet.

"Well, you seem to be enjoying yourself?" A familiar voice said from behind her. Ryan quickly turned around and gasped when she saw Nils floating there in the cavern.

"Enjoying myself!?... All that's ever happened to me since you brought me to Tertius was getting a near-death experience, to near-death experience, to near rape experience, and now another near-death experience... HA! Like you have any clue what an enjoyable life is." She said sarcastically as Ryan pulled her feet out of the water and stood up, looking at the Goddess.

Nils chuckled at her sarcasm. "Well, I guess you are an expert in enjoyment and hardship after getting dragged across two worlds."

Ryan rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Why did you decide to show up now? Why didn't you come sooner?" Ryan asked while she sat her wet silver hair on her right shoulder.

"We were just watching how you perform under pressure, and you have done well," Nils replied with a smile.

"Tch... Well, at this rate, the stress is going to kill me before a blade will." Ryan said as she glared up at Goddess.

"You give yourself too little credit, Ryan."

Ryan rolled her eyes again.

"Please, I've been chased by goblins, orcs, elves, dwarves, ogres, hobos, rapists, assholes, you name it! Haah!... So is that all you wanted to say to me? That I've done good?" Ryan asked sarcastically.

"Well, now that you’ve almost completed your transformation into a Dark Elf. I've come to give you another gift." Nils said with a smile.

"Oh yeah?! You know I could have used something earlier against those big ass goblins." Ryan said to Nils as she walked over to the floating goddess.

"Hobgoblins."

"What?"

"Hobgoblins. Those bigger creatures you couldn't defeat with your fists were Hobgoblins," Nils said.

Ryan shakes her head. "Does it really matter?... You know what, never mind... You said you were going to give me a gift." Ryan asked Nils.

"Yes. I did."

"Well then, you're going to do your ‘touch my head’ thing or what."

Just as Ryan finished her sentence, Nils quickly moved her right hand, and her pointer finger came into contact with Ryan's forehead, making her eyes dilate as the knowledge flowed into her mind.

"What!" Ryan shouted.

"It is time for you to learn a couple of the ways of Dark Elven Magic." Nils said as she removed her finger from Ryan's forehead.