I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born Kart part 1

The whole thing started innocently enough.

I wanted to show my friends something that wasn't mine.

Something older than me that had my dad's fingerprints on it.

So I dragged everyone into Shin'yume-sou's lobby and tuned the clunky television to basic cable.

Inego had never seen a television like this one before.

"Oi," he said. "Mate, that's not a television, is it? It can't be! It's like someone put a tv screen in a cabinet!"

I knew what he meant straight away. Shin'yume's lobby's television was as old as someone's grandma.

It was as wide as a flatscreen is long, and the reason Inego said it looked like it was in a cabinet was because it was lined in wood instead of plastic.

The remote stuck. The speakers hissed. The picture bowed in at the corners like the screen was trying to breathe.

In other words, it was perfect for us.

"Mad Max," I said, like I was offering a relic. "And then The Road Warrior. My dad and I used to watch these when I was a kid."

Yuki sat cross-legged on the dingy carpet and hovered three inches above it without noticing.

Shion folded herself onto the arm of a cracked vinyl couch like a queen on a throne she didn't respect. Then, she casually tossed her legs over my lap and gave me a look that dared me to say anything.

Inego took the floor like a pilgrim at a shrine.

Azuki sprawled across two chairs and a blanket she had definitely stolen from the laundry room. Her eyes locked onto the screen and did not blink.

Basic cable butchers films.

The commercials were for car dealerships and a local lawyer who smiled like a crocodile and was possibly a kappa.

The movies were still perfect. Rust. Leather.

Shion said that The Road Warrior outfits were exactly like her underwear drawer.

Engines that sounded like thunder had learned to smoke. People doing stupid, brave things because everything else had failed them.

Halfway through The Road Warrior, I got to watch the moment it clicked for Azuki.

Her grin went from prank to religion.

She pressed both hands to her cheeks and whispered, "Holy hell," like the screen had confessed a sin to her.

"That dummy shouldn't have tried to catch the razorblade boomerang."

Afterwards, Inego leaned over towards the tanuki.

"We should watch Fury Road if you liked The Road Warrior," he said. "Pure cinema."

Her eyes lit up as though he'd just told her he knew where she could find Aladdin's lamp.

"Let's go to The Tapeworm! and rent it straight away!" Azuki cried.

We did.

We found it.

The TV growled and the lobby's bad fluorescent lights trembled like they were afraid.

Azuki vibrated at a frequency not approved by the health department, and I've never seen a person drink so much Monster Energy Drink in a single sitting.

By the time the credits hit, she was a true believer.

"We need cars," she said, leaping to her feet. "Weapons. A war rig. A guitarist with a flamethrower."

I tried to tell Inego not to encourage her, but my pleas fell on deaf ears.

"We can rent go-karts," Shion said, calm as a loaded gun.

Azuki perked up, eyes wide, and I swear her ears even slicked back a little.

"Go on," she said. "I would hear more about these go karts."

Shion smiled, happy to oblige.

"There's that shady place by the beach. Go-Kart Yourself! will rent to anyone with money and a pulse."

That was all Azuki needed to hear.

"I accept this quest," she said.

And just like that, everyone got their things together and decided to go kart themselves.

I agreed to go with them because I'm an idiot, and also because my friends were already standing up.

Someone needed to be a reasonable adult, and even though I never wanted that responsibility, it somehow always landed in my lap.

Go-Kart Yourself! was located on the southern part of the island, along the coast of the Sea of Okhotsk where no one wanted to sunbath or splash in the cold, unpleasant water.

It had a sun-bleached sign and a smell like hot rubber and old barbeque sauce.

The karts were basic. Fiberglass shells over tiny engines. Bright colors that had seen too much salt air and sunshine.

We signed the waiver that swore we wouldn't sue them for their negligence, or our own foolish irresponsibility. The owner slid the paper over the counter like he was dealing cards in a backroom.

Yuki floated around the lobby, looking at the go-karts with surprising curiosity.

Several of them were on display behind the counter, letting renters pick their go-kart themselves, provided they didn't mind the flickering, buzzing fluorescent lighting.

"Oh, I love these things!" Yuki gasped when she got closer. "They're adorable, and they're becoming quite popular, you know!"

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I chuckled to myself.

"Yeah, Yuki. We've got video games about go-karts," I said.

She giggled.

"I know what that is now! Azuki was showing me video games the other day."

She floated beside me, tiny snowflakes silently swirling around her ghostly form.

"I don't mean to brag, but I'm quite good at Pong."

I raised my eyebrow.

"That's an older title," I said.

She folded her hands in front of her. Her face had an earnest expression.

"Maybe, but you know which one I'm talking about, so it's popular!"

Then she swayed back and forth, obviously very proud of herself.

"Yuki, I bet you could destroy me at Pong," I said.

She gasped, excited.

"Oh, really? We'll have to play when we get back!"

Then she turned her attention back to the go-karts and sighed a little.

"This is probably a bit more like Pole Position, isn't it?"

I laughed a little.

"I don't know about that. With our group, probably closer to Twisted Metal."

She shook her head.

"Sorry, hon. I haven't worked my way up to that one yet. Azuki and I are still playing something adorable called Doki Doki Panic."

She bit her lip.

"Apparently, Azuki tells me it's Super Mario Bros 2, but I think she's lost her marbles. Oh, by the way, which go-kart are we getting?" she asked.

Shion and Azuki walked over towards us as Inego paid for the vehicle he was renting.

"I don't know yet. I want to see which ones they have left."

Shion rolled her eyes.

"Oh, don't play coy with me," she said. "I left you the black one on purpose, Blondie. It's basically your go-to color."

I nodded. She was right, but then I saw why.

Right beside of the black go-kart, complete with balding tires and caked-on mud splatters, was a beautiful, blood-red go-kart with the words "Red Menace" written on the side.

There had been something written on the side of mine, once, when it was new, like ten years ago. But it was illegible now.

It might've said "Thunder" once upon a time, but now it looked closer to "Turd".

Shion nudged me in the ribs.

"See?" she said, her tone faux-sweet. "I saved you one."

Azuki took one look at my go-kart, and her eyes lit up.

"Oh man! Not cool!" she said.

I turned towards her.

"Hey! What I wanna know is how come Ryu's go-kart is the one with all the awesome personality? Huh?"

She crossed her arms angrily.

Shion arched an eyebrow.

"What're you complaining about? You picked your go-kart out yourself."

Azuki just shook her head though and pointed at the beaten-up black go-kart.

"Well, yeah, but that was before I saw that one! It's soooo cool! Like, look at it, and then look at mine!"

Her kart was similar to Shion's, except instead of blood red it was a bright, lemon yellow with black accents.

"Killer Buzz," was written on the side in a bright orange font.

I didn't care which one I had.

In fact, it'd be nice to have a newer kart, insect themed or not.

"Azuki," I said, wanting to keep the peace. "I'll trade you, no questions asked."

She perked up straight away, but Shion spoke up.

"What? Nope! Not happening!"

Azuki's shoulders slumped.

"Why not?" I asked, not ready to give up so easily.

Shion rolled her eyes, as though the answer were obvious.

"Because, Blonde, my kart is red. You absolutely need to get the black one because I'm a vampire and you're a black dragon, or whatever."

Shion took another breath so she could continue.

"If you switch karts with Azuki, then it'll mess up my entire color scheme. You'll be yellow, and people'll think we're ketchup and mustard."

I looked around the empty lobby.

"Who the hell is even going to see us?"

Then the manager spoke up.

"Hey, dude, I don't care which kart you rent, but please refrain from putting down Go-Kart Yourself!, okay? I have to work here."

I turned to look at the guy.

He looked exactly like the kind of guy who'd pick a fight to stick up for a place that suggested its own customers get bent with a dirty baseball cap pulled low over an acne scarred face.

Shion stepped forward.

"He'll take the black one. End of story."

I got the keys, but Shion was wrong about one thing: the story was only getting started.

I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born Kart part 2

We hit the track.

At least four out of the five of us did.

I stood at the front of the sun-bleached, crumbling go-kart track with Yuki floating loyally at my side.

My battered black kart waited in front of me, already grumbling like an old dog.

Shion's blood-red machine gleamed beside it, and Inego was next to hers in his midnight-blue beast.

"Blue Twilight," his kart read on the side.

Only Azuki was missing.

And that scared me.

A lot.

"Has anyone seen her?" I asked.

Shion shook her head.

"Not since she was sulking in the lobby."

Inego pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Oi, mate… she wanted your kart so bad, she might've gone to pout in the bathroom."

Shion groaned, already over it.

"I swear, if she comes back crying, I'm not—"

She didn't get to finish.

The roar of an engine screamed from behind the building like a banshee wail of over-revved metal.

We all turned.

Azuki came flying around the side of Go-Kart Yourself! so fast her tires threw gravel like buckshot. Sparks flew when she bottomed out over a bump.

"AZUKI!" I shouted. "What the hell are you doing?"

She yanked her kart sideways into a handbrake turn, fishtailing across the cracked asphalt until she skidded to a stop right in front of us.

Helmet off.

Hair wild.

Grin feral.

"Hey gang!" she hollered. "Check out my ride!"

And that's when I saw it.

She'd modified the poor machine into a war crime.

Metal pipes lashed to the sides with duct tape, like makeshift exhausts.

A Monster Energy can collection rattling in a net behind her seat.

Two broom handles sticking up like fake nitrous tanks.

And mounted across the front bumper, spray-painted bright orange, was a goddamn plunger.

It looked like a go-kart had a nightmare that somehow escaped into the real world.

I stared. I couldn't stop staring.

It looked like a go-kart had crawled out of an apocalypse movie, and Azuki was proud enough to marry it.

Shion groaned so hard it was almost a scream.

"Oh my god. It's not even street legal, and we're not on a street." She rubbed her forehead. "This is beneath me."

Inego, meanwhile, blinked a few times and then burst out laughing.

"Bloody hell, love! That's not a go-kart, that's a death cart! You've strapped half a scrapyard to it!"

He leaned closer, frowning.

"…Is that a plunger?"

Azuki thumped the bright orange rubber like it was Excalibur.

"Inego! Did you…just call me 'love'?" she beamed.

Inego's face dropped.

"Um, er…"

Azuki scrunched up her nose at him.

"You totally did, my little British Love Boy! But you're wrong about the plunger! It's a battering ram."

Yuki floated closer, her hands folded nervously in front of her.

"Oh gracious," she whispered. "It's… creative. Very… creative."

She tilted her head, snowflakes swirling around her.

"Although I do wonder if it violates any of the… um… safety guidelines?"

Azuki revved the engine, which coughed black smoke like a dying dragon.

"Safety is for cowards!" she yelled.

Shion turned on her heel, muttering.

"If this thing explodes, I'm not picking up the pieces."

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Azuki," I said. "You cannot just… Mad Max a go-kart."

"Yes I can!" she shot back. "I must! I've been chosen by the war gods of cinema, Ryu-sama! This isn't just a kart. This is my destiny!"

Then Azuki escalated everything by pointing straight at Shion's chest.

"Besides, Shion's not really angry," she said. "She's jealous."

I saw Shion's green eyes flash, and I took a reflective step backwards.

"What did you just say?" Shion asked sharply.

Azuki, though, high on energy drinks and bad decisions, didn't back down.

"You heard me, Fang."

Inego jumped.

"Oi! Azuki, don't call her that!"

Shion crossed her arms and stared at Inego.

"Precisely. That's what you call me," she said.

Azuki chuckled.

"You're not denying it, though. Now you're jealous because I've got the coolest go-kart on the planet."

Shion walked over to Azuki's George Miller-inspired vehicle.

She looked it up and down, carefully.

Then she turned towards the tanuki with a smirk on her face.

"I can do you one better," she said.

Azuki's grin stretched across her face, but I spoke up.

"No," I said flatly.

The rest of the group turned towards me, and I knew they were about to challenge my decision.

"Why not?" Shion asked. "Azuki did it, so she gets a gold start, Blondie?"

Shion stepped forward, close enough to invade my personal space.

I tried to step back, but she put her hand on my shoulder, keeping me in place.

"You playing favorites now? Huh?"

Then she got closer still, pressing her cold, stiff body against mine.

"Because if you are…"

She didn't say anything. She just grinned, letting silence and her proximity speak volumes.

Damn it Shion.

Every time I think I've got something to say, she takes the words right out of my mouth.

"We're going go race, right?" Yuki asked loudly.

Shion rolled her eyes and stepped back.

"Whoopsie," she said. "Mommy caught us."

Then, she winked at me and calmly got into her go-kart and started it up.

"Azuki, you're coming with me. If she can turn a kart into a deathtrap, I can turn one into a coffin on wheels."

Azuki giggled and hopped into her modified kart and the two of them sped off to the side of the building.

Inego looked at me and shrugged.

"You want to race, mate?" he asked.

I laughed.

"Isn't that why we're here?"

He climbed into his go-kart and started it up.

"Oi! I'm going to show you how do drive, Yank!"

I got into my own.

"Just make sure you use the right side of the road, Limey!"

He made an upside-down peace sign, like I was supposed to know what that meant.