I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

"I hope you know what you're doing," Yuki said as I pushed open one of the heavy doors.

We entered Black Withers Hall, and the draft inside that greeted us was both stagnant and cool. The place felt like it always did, dusty, slightly moldy, and heavy. It seemed like the walls themselves were trying to remember something they'd rather forget.

Yuki floated beside me, like winter, ethereal, and a little too calm.

"I'm trying to catch up with Shion," I said. "This conversation isn't over just because she says it is. I have some things I want to ask her."

But I didn't have to go very far.

Shion was already waiting in the foyer.

She had her arms folded, leaning against the wall like she'd been there a while. As soon as she saw us, she motioned me over.

Before I could even say anything, she spoke first.

"Under the stairs," she said quietly.

I followed, my footsteps echoing on the dirty tile floor.

It was darker than the rest of the hallway under there, like the shadows had thickened since the last time I'd passed through earlier that day.

Shion stood just out of reach of the light, half-lost in the gloom. Yuki, by contrast, glowed faintly, a soft shimmer that didn't brighten the darkness so much as outline it, like the shadows were clinging tighter in her presence.

Yuki waited at the edge of the stairwell, looking to see if anyone was coming.

"Look," I said, but she held up a finger, and I could tell she was in no mood to argue.

Shion took a breath.

"I'm not good at saying sorry," she said, her voice low. "I hate feeling awkward."

I nodded, but didn't move closer.

"I need to say this," I told her.

My fingers touched the left side of my face, where Ken's fist had landed.

The skin was still sore, tender. I could feel the ridges, the scales, beneath my skin, like something reptilian had coiled up inside me.

"My scales," I said quietly. "I can feel them digging around under my skin."

Her lip curled up and her eyes widened in revulsion.

"Yeah. It's disgusting," I said, shaking my head. "It's alien. And instead of taking me to the nurse, you took me to three potheads who gave me some... thing that's still twisted around my ankle."

I looked at her, hoping she could see the frustration in my eyes. "How do you know it's not broken, Shion?"

She winced at that.

"What if I'm walking on it and just making it worse?"

My voice cracked just a little. "If you're really my friend... shouldn't I have seen a doctor?"

She stepped forward, slowly. Her expression was unreadable in the darkness just then.

But I saw her hand reach out, gently brushing the swollen side of my face where the scales had broken through the skin earlier. Her fingertips were cool. Careful.

She took a breath to speak.

"Can you just… please forgive me, Blondie?" she whispered.

Her voice had softened. Fragile. "I'm not human. I haven't been for a long time, and I'm..."

She hesitated, trying to choose her words carefully.

"You're right. You're absolutely right. I was stupid and selfish. Like always."

She let her hand fall.

"You want to know why?" she muttered to herself. "Why I didn't let you go to the nurse? Why was I so damn insistent on getting your ankle fixed?"

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She looked up at me, hesitant, nervous.

"Because... I wanted to dance with you. Tomorrow night. At Dick's Discotheque."

I felt my shoulders drop.

That wasn't the answer I'd been expecting. I'm not sure what I was expecting exactly.

"I was afraid if you went to the nurse, they'd put you in a brace, or a boot, or something... and you wouldn't be able to dance."

There was a long pause.

Yuki floated forward then, her glow shifting faintly across the wood-paneled walls under the stairs.

"That's why?" she asked.

Her tone wasn't angry, just stunned.

"You took him there so you and Ryu could dance?"

Shion wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Yeah," she murmured. "It meant a lot to me. It sounds so stupid now, but—"

"No," Yuki interrupted, cutting through the awkwardness. "It's not stupid. It's... incredibly sweet."

Shion looked up, stunned.

"It was foolish, yes," Yuki continued. "But, Shion, it was not stupid. You were trying to help in your own way."

I nodded.

Without realizing it, I reached out and took Shion's hand.

"I get it," I said. "But I'm still going to see the school nurse."

Shion gave a single, tired smile.

"Before you do..."

She stepped in, letting go of my hand and wrapped her arms around me.

Her body was stiff, cold, and I told myself that it was something I could get used to, like something half-remembered.

But she still felt exactly like what she was: a dead body. That was impossible, no matter how I felt about her.

She leaned in close, and I felt her drawing a breath against my ear.

"You already know, though, don't you, Blondie?"

I smiled. Of course I knew.

And then she bit me.

I held her close to me as she did it. My jaw clenched, and I ignored the pain as best I could.

It was sharp, burning, but ice-cold at the same time, like fire and frost threading through my veins. But I didn't pull away.

It was Shion, I told myself. It was her.

And I knew what she meant.

I thought...

Maybe that's what love feels like, when you're not entirely human anymore.

Or maybe it's just what it feels like to be needed by someone who doesn't know how to ask.

My ankle didn't even hurt anymore.

Not really.

But I still found myself perched awkwardly on the edge of the nurse's cot, pretending I wasn't thinking about how weird the John St. John Long Wellness Center was.

Above me, the yellowing, fluorescent light flickered just loud enough to be grating, and it buzzed like a dying insect that refused to give up the ghost.

The nurse had just finished examining me. Her hands were cold, deliberate, but professional.

"It looks fine," she said, brushing her fingertips off like she'd just been checking a car's oil. "There's nothing wrong with your ankle at all."

I glanced nervously at the window.

The blinds were drawn. The curtains were too thick and heavy, like someone had a vendetta against natural light.

I was glad for that. If sunlight had been streaming in, it might've been a different story.

It might have been a different me sitting there with a busted leg.

Yuki nodded nearby, looking relieved.

"My face," I said gesturing to the left side. "Could you, uh, check it too? Ken kind of…" I mimed the punch I'd caught earlier, feeling stupid.

She nodded again.

That's when I noticed her mask.

She'd had it on the entire time, but it hit me how old it really was.

Surgical style, faded white—except it wasn't white anymore. It looked yellowed, more than what the light should've made it look, and worn.

There were dried bloodstains on the inner edge, right at the seam.

Awesome.

She leaned in to look at my face and made a soft sound in her throat. "Remarkably undamaged," she said, like I was a science exhibit. "Considering you were punched by an orc."

"It's swollen, of course," she added, pulling back slightly, "but no fractures. Not much bruising, either. All things considered? You got off remarkably light."

"You sound like a doctor," I said, trying to sound casual. I think my voice cracked a little. Great.

I swear she smiled behind that bloodstained mask. "I am a doctor. Pediatrician, actually. Doctor Sayaka Moriguchi." She reached for her clipboard like that was the most normal thing in the world. "Also, I'm a yōkai."

I blinked.

"Oh," I said.

That made sense in a school full of yōkai.

"Also, you're missing lunch," she added. "I'll have them bring you something from the Donner Family Memorial Cafeteria."

Then she paused, tilted her head slightly.

"I'll excuse myself when it gets here. You wouldn't like me with my mask off. And I don't eat the school's food. Tender subject."

Yuki winced like someone had stepped on a landmine.

"Oh my goodness. That's tasteless," she said.

Doctor Moriguchi didn't respond. She just turned back to her notes.

I shifted slightly.

"The reason I got off light," I muttered, "was because of the dragon scales."

That made her stop writing.

She looked at me.

"Show me."

I hesitated. Then I took a breath and reached for that thing under my skin, that slithering presence I hated more than anything.

The moment the scales slid out, that familiar nausea hit me, deep and cold.

It felt like my stomach was being turned inside out, and my skin like it was suffocating under something that wasn't mine.

I could feel them wriggling their way out of my body across both sides of my face, hard and gleaming and wrong.

I hated this feeling. I always hated using whatever it is this was.

Doctor Moriguchi simply nodded, like this was just a normal Friday afternoon in the cursed-ass-wellness-center of a cursed-ass school.

She wrote something down.

"Skin condition," she said aloud as she scribbled. "Recommend lotion for dry, scaly skin."

Oh my god, that can't be it.

She tore the page off and handed it to me, completely serious.

"Give this to Louise at the Kusuri Kōbō. She'll hook you up with some topical cream that'll help."

Then she stood and left without another word.

I looked down at the note, not sure if she was being serious or if I was the butt of some perverted joke.

"You think they have lotion for literal dragon skin?" I asked Yuki.

She floated to my side, arms folded in midair like she was trying to be serious and failing.

"Ryu-chan, would you be surprised if the deli downtown claimed to sell mermaid meat?"

"…I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse."