I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

I stood in the parking lot of the Clarksburg Public Library with Lana and Yuki, and for a few blessed moments, it felt like my fever abated and was gone.

"Ryu?" Lana asked.

Then she grinned.

"See? I got it right this time."

She looked exactly the way I remembered her. Sparkling orange eyes, hair the color of fire, and a mischievous streak a mile wide.

I was pissed.

"What the hell'd you do to me?" I yelled. "You sent me back here, and for what? All the… the… taunting and teasing! All the accusations, the orderlies… They think I'm crazy, Lana!"

She shrugged and crossed her arms, looking bored.

"Ryu, when are you going to get it?" she asked. "I didn't do any of that to you. I haven't done a single thing to you at all."

I raised an eyebrow.

Then she shrugged.

"Okay, I did put you on the bus, but that was literally it!"

I looked around the parking lot.

The sun was still shining, and I could feel its warmth on my skin, but everything around me, and everything I could see, was simply frozen in time.

Not a single car moved.

The air stood still.

Around me, I could see gnats frozen in place, hanging in the air like dust particles with wings.

I turned towards Lana, who was still grinning at me.

"You sent me back here," I said. "Stuck me in a psyche ward. You made me talk to my mother!"

She shook her head.

"Don't push that bs on me, Ryu. That was all you."

I opened my mouth, but she shook her head.

"Nope. Zip it. I don't want to hear it," she said.

I tried to talk, but no sound came from my throat.

"That's better," she said. "Now, if I remember, back when we were in the Nightlands version of Dick's Discotheque, you kept saying that you thought you died."

I nodded, being unable to speak.

"Well? Do you still think you died? Did you go insane? What do you think happened?"

I took a breath, and when I tried to answer her question, I found I could speak again.

"You sent me to Shin'yume," I said.

She beamed.

"Excellent! Yes! You didn't get hit by a damn car. You never went to Sharpe Hospital, Ryu. What happened is this."

She held out her hand, as though she were offering me an M&M. But when she opened it, it was empty.

"You and I met. It doesn't matter when. Or where. Or even which one of you I met."

I turned, and Yuki was by my side.

Lana continued.

"I put you on a bus, driven by Larry the bus driver, and he took you to Shin'yume. You met Shion. You met Yuki, who's grown attached to you, and you're 15 years old there. Things are different, but you seem to like it okay."

I had questions.

"Is everyone from Shin'yume from somewhere else?"

She shook her head.

"No. Most people think that version of earth, or reality, or whatever is the authentic version of reality. Hell, who's to say it isn't? Maybe we're a spin-off of them. Who knows? Who cares. It's turtles all the way down."

I tilted my head.

"It's a sci-fi reference," she said.

I sighed.

"Yeah, no kidding! I know it is… what're the Nightlands?"

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

She crossed her arms.

"You're info-dumping, Ryu, and I'm growing bored."

I pointed to Shion, or whatever her name was, frozen in place in her mother's car.

"You tell me what the damn Nightlands are, and then I'll go over there and grab Shion so you can send the three of us back to Shin'yume."

She glanced towards Shion.

"I'll consider it… but the Nightlands are just where you go when you dream. Most of the time, when you're there, you're also dreaming. But, you can go there, with your physical body, with the help of a gate. If you're there as a dream, you're safe as can be. But, if you're there in your physical body…"

She winked.

"That's dangerous. That's what your friends Speed Nuts and the Automotive Studs get into. They're not the only ones who steal from the Nightlands, either. But the risk's on them, so I don't care."

I felt like I was getting somewhere with her.

"And the reason—"

She narrowed her eyes.

"Zen kitsune, Ryu! I don't deal with reason! And I'm getting bored now, so let's see how you handle your fever, Clarksburg, and getting back to Shin'yume."

She turned and began to walk away, reality around the three of us shimmered.

My mouth dropped open.

"But I don't know how!"

Lana stopped but didn't turn around.

Instead, she took a breath, like she was dealing with an unruly child and she had to get back to work.

"That sounds like it's your problem. Not mine."

And then she was gone.

As soon as everything began to move, I felt a nauseating sickness deep within my stomach, and my head began to swim.

I heard Yuki's voice, but it sounded like she was speaking through a wall of cotton.

"Ryu? How are we going to get back?" she asked.

I sank forward, grabbing my knees and bending to rest.

Shion's mom parked the car at the other end of the parking lot. I head the car door slam shut, and I looked up at them

"Crazy bastard! Watch where you're going!" her mom shouted.

Yuki scowled.

"Hmmph, she's the one who was driving too fast in a parking lot," she said, defensively. "Plus you're a pedestrian, so, shouldn't you have the right of way?"

I took several long, deep breaths, trying to clear my head.

"Yuki," I muttered, watching Shion and her mom slowly walking away. "With some people, you're never in the right of way, no matter what you do."

I took a step towards them. Then another. Then, another ragged step.

"It's like working with Hibana," Yuki muttered. "She'll find something to yell at you regardless of how well you've done."

I nodded.

"Yeah. Like Hibana, or a vengeful, glitter-pop kitsune goddess."

I knew exactly what this looked like, and I hated myself for it.

Every step sent pain from my feet up my legs, through my back, and straight into my teeth. It was like my whole body was trying to talk me out of this.

"Yuki," I muttered, jaw clenched, "what the hell am I doing?"

She floated beside me, head lowered like she didn't want to witness this any more than I did.

"I think you're following Shion," she said softly. "Or… a girl you think is Shion."

Ahead, Shion and her mom crossed to the edge of the library lot, near the bus station on Pike Street. Shion hugged her mom, quick and tight.

Her mom turned to leave.

I limped sideways, ducking behind a parked car before she could spot me.

Once I was in the shadows, I grit my teeth and cursed silently.

God, I hated doing this.

"Am I insane?" I whispered, my voice hoarse.

Yuki peaked up from behind the car.

"She's getting into her vehicle now. You should be safe," Yuki said. "But as for whether or not you're insane? Ryu… you're fevered, honey. And you broke out of a psyche ward earlier. You're limping after a schoolgirl, and you asked a ghost only you can see if you're crazy."

She shook her head.

"So, that scans with me. I told you I'd follow you anywhere."

I gave Yuki a sad smile.

Then I stood up, wearily.

I could see her across the street, hair catching the morning light just right, and it hit me like a sucker punch.

That was Shion.

I don't know how I knew.

She didn't look exactly like Shion except for the superficial: green eyes, Japanese, black hair, and a school uniform.

Except here, she wasn't Shion.

And as I closed the distance between myself and her, I wondered if I was about to seriously traumatize a complete stranger for no good reason.

My chest hurt, everything burned, and my tongue felt like it was stuck in the back of my throat, but I had to push through it.

Then, ahead of Shion, I saw a group of girls across the street.

If she made it to her friends, I'd never be able to… what?

I didn't know, and I couldn't wait.

It was now or never.

"Shion!" I yelled, my voice cracking.

She didn't even look.

"Shion!" I yelled again, approaching her.

Finally, she turned around.

"Who the hell is SHION?" she yelled. "You crazy old man! My name's Alyssa!, not piss off!"

The way she yelled, the cadence of her words, her tone, and even her body language all confirmed the same thing to me.

This was Shion, or else she was right about me.

Either way, she wasn't waiting around.

Her friends started calling to her from across the street, and she turned away from me to join them.

I had to find out, so I closed the last few steps fast and reached out — hand on her shoulder. She jolted like I'd hit her with a live wire.

"Shion, it's me! Ryu!" I said. Too loud. Too desperate.

Her eyes went wide, and she tried to pull away.

"Get the hell off me!"

I held on.

"No, listen! You're Shion. You are! We live in Shin'yume. You—"

"Help!" she shouted.

Her voice rang out like a bell, high and sharp.

People were looking now.

A car slowed, and I saw the passenger reaching for a cellphone.

Somewhere, a teacher or maybe a security guard was barking something I couldn't make out over the blood roaring in my ears.

"Alyssa," I said, trying to soften it. "You don't remember now, but you will. Just—just let me explain! You know me. This isn't you."

She yanked free, stumbling a step back. Her phone was in her hand now, and her friends were halfway across the street, running towards the school screaming for help.

I didn't move. Couldn't.

"You're crazy!" she snapped, voice shaking.

Yuki, was beside me, trying to tell me something.

"Ryu! Her name. Listen to it!" Yuki said. "It means something. I know it… It's… A lie! Alyssa is a lie!"

I had to tell her.

"Alyssa, that's phony!" I yelled. "It's A LIE!"

She'd been yelling at me, but suddenly she stopped, and blinked.

"You're Shion! Alyssa's a damn lie!" I said, my voice straining with exhaustion and fever.

Around us, I heard people yelling. School kids were screaming, and in the distance a police siren.

Then, Shion's eyes met mine, and the fear she had melted away, replaced with recognition.

I felt my breath in my chest, almost afraid to believe it was true.

"You crazy bastard!" she yelled, but now she was grinning.

She ran straight at me, laughing, and slammed into my chest.

"Blondie, where the hell have you been?" she cried, throwing her arms around me.

I hugged her back, laughing as tears ran down my face.

"Where've you been?" she asked again and again.

"Where've you been?"