I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

Shion's smirk faded as quickly as it had come.

The steam curled around her, hiding the sharp lines of her face, but I could see the tension in her shoulders.

She leaned back against the stones and let her head rest there, like she was suddenly too tired to keep it upright.

Her long, black hair splayed around her, like a dark halo.

For a long moment, all I could hear was the water dripping from the rafters and the soft hiss of the onsen's surface breaking against the rocks.

Her eyes flicked toward me once, then away.

"There was this boy," she said at last, her voice flat, not dramatic.

Just a fact.

"I liked him. More than I should've. When he disappeared, I thought he'd run away or gotten lost in the hills. He was gone a day. Just one day. And then…"

Her hand rose and hovered in the mist, fingers curling, as if she could still see his face outside her window.

"Then, the next evening, he came back. I saw him standing outside my house. It wasn't terribly late. He must've been standing there on purpose. Making sure I'd see him."

Shion's voice dipped lower, almost a growl.

"I should've been careful. I should've known better. My parents raised me to know better. But I was just a stupid girl with a crush. So when I saw him standing out there under the moonlight, I didn't call for anyone. I didn't think…"

She fiddled with her hands under the water.

"I didn't think about it. I just saw the boy I liked, and I was worried about him. So, I opened the window."

She looked at me then, green eyes glinting like broken glass.

"He couldn't come inside. Vampires can't. He didn't need to. All he needed was for me to lean out far enough. And then…"

Her hand snapped shut like a trap, and for a second, I could see it: a girl being ripped out of her window by someone she thought she could trust.

Shion exhaled through her nose, sharp as a knife.

"I fought him. Kicked. Scratched. I think…I think I even bit him. Because I can still taste his blood in my mouth, even now. I can't wash it away."

Her voice faltered. She turned her face to the mist, but I could still see the line of her jaw trembling.

"He couldn't kill me. Not then, becauseI hadn't invited him in. But he drained me, Blondie. Left me to die on the ground outside my own home. When I woke up, I wasn't me anymore."

Steam curled around her again, swallowing her expression.

"I tried to walk back to the front door," she said. "I wanted to get to my parents. I thought if I could just get to the door, they'd help me. Maybe they'd know what to do. But when I got there, I couldn't step inside."

Her hands flexed against her knees, pale fingers curling like claws.

"I remember standing there, wanting it so badly it hurt. Wanting to cross the threshold. My mom opened the door. I wanted to run to her, scream at her, hold her. But my feet wouldn't move. My chest wouldn't breathe."

Her voice caught for a moment.

Then it came back colder.

"I don't even remember if I yelled when he pulled me out the window. Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. Maybe they heard me, maybe they didn't. But when she looked at me… it wasn't like she saw me… I think I broke her."

Shion's shoulders sagged, and for a heartbeat she looked smaller in the rising mist.

"I should've been cold. I was cold when he drained me. But I've never felt cold since. Or hot. Every touch is muted, like I'm wearing gloves."

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She leaned into me then, like she was trying to see if I'd respond, or maybe if she could feel me more.

"I don't remember what food tastes like. I couldn't eat it even if I did. People think a vampire's enhanced strength and speed are some kind of prize. That being untouchable, unkillable, makes you lucky."

Her green eyes cut back to me, sharp and raw.

"I don't care if bullets bounce off me. I don't care if knives snap, or if time can't touch me. None of it matters. I just want to go home, Blondie."

Her voice sounded strained.

"I want to hug my mom. I want to feel tired again, warm again. I want the little thing, simple things. Like biting into an apple, just to taste how crisp and fresh it is. And feel the juice run down my chin. I want to cry. I even want to be annoyed because I have to use the goddamn bathroom. Anything but this… this… numbness!"

Her voice cracked on that last word.

She dropped her gaze to the water, and for the first time, I noticed that her reflection wasn't there.

"How can you even be with me?" she whispered. "When I'm… this. This dead thing that only takes your blood and gives nothing back."

I reached across the stones, found her hand, and held it.

Her skin was cool, but she didn't pull away.

"You're not a thing," I said quietly. "You're Shion. You're so much more than what happened to you. And I'm the lucky one, because I get to see it. I get to be with you, right here, right now."

For a long moment, neither of us spoke.

Then she followed my gaze over the lip of the onsen.

The horizon glowed, the first edge of the sun spilling out over the ocean.

Light spread across Shin'yume like it belonged to us, gold and silver catching in the waves.

Shion leaned against me, her head finding my shoulder.

I slipped my arm around her, holding her there as if the two of us were the only people left in the world.

"I missed you, Shion," I whispered.

Her lips curved faintly, and I felt it against my arm.

"You're so damn stupid, Blondie. But at least I didn't take your warmth this time, right?"

She looked at me, her eyes moist with the steam.

"That's got to count for something, doesn't it?" she asked.

I turned my head to answer, but I didn't need to.

She turned hers.

Our eyes met, green against blue, and then we kissed.

The onsen water was warm.

For just a little while, so was she.

For just a little while, we could pretend.

She pulled me from the water.

Even though she was shorter than I was, though tall for a Japanese girl, she was surprisingly strong.

But she didn't have to tug much.

I didn't know where we were going, but I wanted to go with her.

"Check it out," she said, after I got to my feet.

She held her arms out, like a capital T and spun in a slow circle.

"Well, don't just stand there, dumbass, look at me!" she laughed.

I saw.

Shion's pale skin had a slight red cast to it.

She threw her head back and laughed.

"What's next?" she asked. "Think I can get a tan if I keep coming back here?"

I felt her skin, and sure enough, it was warm.

"Oh hell," I said. "What's it mean?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Not a damn thing, sadly. It's not like your onsen's got magical restorative powers. At least, not the kind that can bring a vampire back to life, but…"

She stepped forward, biting her bottom lip.

"It does mean that, for a little while, you've got a girlfriend with a warm body."

She winked at me.

"If you want to use it."

My mouth dropped open.

Shion crossed her arms and smirked. Hard.

"Now's not the time to stand around. Tick-tock, Blondie."

I had to think fast because, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't invite Shion up to my room.

"You came here on your bike, but your dorm room's too far away, and up hill," I muttered.

She nodded.

"Yeah, and by the time we got there, I will have cooled down. And I can't sit under the girl's shower to warm back up. It's running water."

My mind raced, trying to come up with a solution.

There was no way I was going to take Shion to a bathroom somewhere, though I doubted she'd mind.

She'd probably laugh about it, but I cared too much for her to do that to her.

Hibana's room was no-man's land.

I'd rather not bump into Rinko after what happened between me, her, and Murasaki.

Which left Natsumi's room.

I stepped out of the onsen's waters, grabbed a towel from the rack, handed one to Shion, and wrapped mine around my shoulders.

Steam clung to her skin like it didn't want to let go, but she dried off with sharp, quick motions, efficient as always.

"So," she said, squeezing the water out of her hair. "You think of a place we could go to? Any bright ideas, Blondie?"

I sighed, already regretting the words before I spoke them.

"Yeah… I got a place, but I don't know if I like it or not. It's Natsumi's room."

Shion froze, then slowly turned to face me, towel hanging loose in her hands.

"The cat girl?"

She wrinkled her nose like I'd suggested bathing in a sewer.

"She's a yokai," I said. "We can go to her room because she can invite you in. You can't drink her blood, can you?"

She shook her head before I could answer, droplets scattering.

"No. Only human blood."

She tapped her chin with one of her fingers, like she was thinking.

"It wouldn't hurt to ask," I muttered. "Unless you've got a better place."

Her lips curved into a dangerous grin, and she winked.

"Sure. You could check if any of the guests left their cars unlocked."

I stared at her.

She grinned and playfully rolled her shoulders.

I hoped she wasn't serious.

"Shion," I said flatly. "We're going to ask Natsumi."

She smirked, draping the towel around her shoulders like a cape.

"Pansy."