I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

The air conditioning in Sharpe Hospital made the kind of noise you'd expect from something possessed. Every ten minutes, it wheezed like a dying cat, then coughed cold air into the room like it was trying to exorcise me.

I lay flat on the paper-thin mattress, staring at the cracked ceiling tiles, waiting for the next rattle.

Yuki floated beside me, curled up in the air like she was sitting on a swing made of starlight.

"I don't like you with this face," she said gently. "You look tired… like you're about to give up."

"Sorry," I muttered. "Can't help the way I look."

"I know." She smiled, soft and kind.

"You're still beautiful," I said.

She puffed her cheeks, bashful.

"Hmm, flatterer."

Then she sighed.

Deep.

There was silence. Just the hum of the busted AC and the faint buzzing of fluorescent lights that sounded like they were about to burn out.

"What was the point of that fight with Lana?" she asked after a moment.

I shrugged.

"I dunno, Yuki. I hate it here. This place sucks. It's full of lies and everything's trying its damnedest to make me think it's real. Like a damn war of attrition for my sanity."

But she didn't give up.

"I'm worried," she said. "What if she's right? What if you're sick? What if I'm not… real?"

I didn't answer.

I couldn't.

She frowned, making little worry lines across her forehead.

"You're the only one who can see me here. It's only you, and it's never been like that before. And that's not the only thing."

I shut my eyes, but she continued.

"I know I know Japanese, Andy. I know I do. But I can't speak it here. I can't speak Japanese… because you don't know Japanese. That makes sense, right?"

I finally turned to her.

She needed an answer. Maybe I needed an answer.

"What do you think?"

From the look on her face, I could tell she was thinking.

Her expression twisted into something tender and heartbreaking all at once.

"I know I'm real," she whispered. "As real as any good dream on a sunny day. But I'm scared of what you think I am."

I sat up.

The walls around me and Yuki had never felt as small as they had until that moment, like they were suffocating.

"I'll tell you what I think, Yuki. Don't ever call me Andy ever again."

Yuki blinked.

"I'm not giving up. I don't care what they say, what they drug me with, what they write on their clipboards. I'm getting back to Shin'yume. We're getting the hell out of here."

She lit up, just a little.

"Good," she said to herself as much as to me. "That's good. You sound like your old self again. Kinda."

Then I focused my attention on the bars covering the windows.

"…But," I said, "I don't exactly know how to escape from a goddamn mental hospital. They tend to make that part tricky."

"I'm glad you haven't given up," she said, her voice like soft wind through paper doors. "I know you'll think of something."

That made me grin.

I wasn't alone here.

"Any chance you can help?"

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Barely," she said. "I was barely useful in Shin'yume. And here? I'm like… an afterimage. A thought someone forgot to think."

She turned midair.

"But… I do have one trick."

I glanced over, hoping for good news.

"Yeah?"

She beamed.

"Watch this, honey!"

A second later, the ancient AC unit in the corner coughed violently, and a steady stream of water dripped from the base, pooling at the linoleum near the door.

Then, the damn thing began to run.

I felt a familiar reassuring cool draft at my left side.

I blinked. "…You can kick the HVAC on?"

She did a little "ta-da!" gesture.

I laughed.

How the hell is that helpful? Who knows?

Who cares?

"God, I'm glad I've got you."

Yuki gasped, as if I'd handed her the moon.

Sighing I looked at the gross, brown pool of water slowly creeping across the tile floor.

Then I looked at the ancient unit in the corner, and I remembered working for the West Virginia Division of Highways in the summer of 2000. I especially recall the way the people who worked for the state always talked about how West Virginia was at least ten years behind the rest of the country.

I bet that included the shitty wiring.

The orderlies made their usual ten-minute pass in the hallway past my door.

I could feel the vibrations of their heavy footfalls though the linoleum, and it gave me the best idea in the world.

"Yuki, pack your bags," I said. "Let's blow this popsicle stand."

For the first time since I'd been back here, since I'd seen her, she gave me a smile that reached her eyes.

"Yes!" she squealed. "Good! It's about time!"

I stood up, dragging the mattress halfway off the bed to expose the rusted coils beneath.

With a little effort, a lot of anger, and one broken fingernail clipper, I bent one of the springs until it snapped free.

Long. Thin. Ugly.

"No," I said, holding the wire between my sore, bleeding fingers. "You? You're perfect."

I nodded to Yuki.

She floated beside the HVAC and waited for my signal.

I crawled down to the floor, careful not to step in the puddle Yuki had gifted me, and stretched the spring toward the exposed wiring at the base of the AC unit.

Sparks flickered as it sizzled. Electricity danced like tiny ghosts, and I had to be very careful, otherwise I might become one of them myself.

Then I lay down beside the puddle.

No sense waiting for them no notice me though. Especially since I doubted the two orderlies would care very much if I was lying on the floor for whatever reason.

So, I kicked the door as hard as I could and yelled.

"Hey, you two worthless, dickless turds! You think sticking me in here is gonna shut me up? I gotta bone to pick with the two of you!"

A moment later I heard them by my door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Andy?"

The perfect opening.

"Your mother. She said you should treat her lover with more respect."

They scoffed.

I wasn't done yet.

"You know, the only difference between me and you guys?" I asked.

The one nodded for the other to leave.

"It's that I've got two balls. You? It's like a trip to Disneyland. The balls there are just for decoration."

The door opened with a buzz.

And they both came in.

Good.

I'd been itching for a real fight since I'd come here, and I didn't give a damn how old I was or how tall these two were.

My righteous anger was more than enough.

And I felt my patience snap like a wire.

"Time to take your meds, Andy," one of them said, rolling up his sleeve.

They stepped forward. One hit the puddle.

The second followed.

"Whoopsie," I said, dropping the spring into the puddle.

Yuki switched the HVAC on for maximum voltage.

A surge of sparks jumped from the coil into the water with a loud crack and a stuttering scream. One orderly collapsed. The other staggered, his limbs spasming like a marionette with a drunken puppeteer.

I was up in a heartbeat.

I snatched the fallen man's tranquilizer syringe and drove it toward the dazed one's neck, but he was already recovering.

He swung at me.

Fist. Fast. I jerked back. My heel caught the collapsed orderly's arm.

I fell.

Hard.

The syringe skidded across the floor.

I reached for it, teeth clenched, as the standing orderly loomed behind me.

"You bastard!" he screamed, grabbing my foot.

I kicked, hard, and felt something bend and snap under my bare foot.

"Yeeeoooch!" he wailed, clutching his hand.

I didn't hesitate. I turned and grabbed the syringe.

"Ryu! Behind you!" Yuki cried.

I leapt forward, into the orderly who was holding his broken finger, driving my left shoulder into his knee and sending him sprawling to the ground.

Then I rolled out of the way and looked behind me.

The other guy was slowly getting to his feet, shaking off the effects of the pool.

I took the syringe in my hand and jammed it into the orderly who was lying to my side.

He grit his teeth and cursed, but I knew he was out of the fight.

"Hey, asshole," I said. "You're a big son of a bitch, huh?"

He finally got to his feet and sized me up.

"I've fought bigger," I spat, thinking of an orc back in Shin'yume who'd be laughing his ass off if he could see me now.

I didn't wait for him to respond.

If I had, he might've kicked my ass straight away.

Instead, I took a step forward, making him think I was charging, so he stood his ground defensively.

Which is what I hoped he'd do.

Because I just grabbed the corner of my mattress and sloshed it across the floor.

He had just enough time too look down at the electric puddle as it rolled over his shoes, sending his ass back down to the floor with a short, painful yelp.

"Jesus, I got 'em all," I said. "Just like Straw Dogs."

I reached down to the orderly who was taking a pleasant nap and got his syringe.

Then, carefully, jabbed his friend who was in the puddle.

I quickly changed my clothes, grabbed the orderlies' keys, badge, and I made sure to shut the door to my room behind me.

I wished I had a "Do not disturb" sign for the doorknob.

Finally, I turned to Yuki.

"Hey, hon, we did it," I said.

She nodded.

"We're not out of this place yet. But it's a good start."

I couldn't argue with her.

"Hey, Yuki," I said, holding out my hand to her. "Come with me if you want to live."

She tilted her head, confused.

"Ryu, did you hit your head? I'm a ghost. I'm not alive at all."

I sighed,

"Yeah, and you haven't seen Terminator 2 either."