I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

OMG I was so excited! I had the Ramune already ready already. Not just one flavor—four. Yuzu, melon, strawberry, and the terrifying one labeled "Mystery Blue." I'd laid them out on the desk like potion bottles in an old RPG. Next to them, I had a neatly stacked tower of movies, VHS, from Crescent Moon Academy's Stevie Wonder Memorial Library. I sorted them based on how much emotional damage they were likely to inflict. Shion liked emotional damage Ryu-sama told me.

Or was it Shion caused emotional damage?

Oh well.

I threw a bag of popcorn into the microwave and slammed the door shut. Didn't even look at the settings—just smashed the "Popcorn" button. I mean, microwaves have those buttons for a reason, right? Humans aren't dumb enough to make a button that's next to worthless… would they?

Rookie mistake. Whatever. Excitement was overriding my brain cells.

Tonight was movie night.

Shion was coming over. To my room. Not to drain me. Not to murder me. Not to call me annoying (I turned out to be wrong!). But to hang out. Just... hang out.

I squealed softly and bounced on my heels. Fairy lights glowed softly around the room, giving off an "I'm totally chill and this definitely isn't a date" vibe.

It wasn't because… who'd actually, like, date Shion?

"Edgar Allan Poe… but he's dead," I said to no one, unless Poe's ghost was there. But I probably would've seen him. I was in a hurry.

There was even a bean bag chair, my ultimate charm spell. Nobody could stay mad sitting in a bean bag chair.

I glanced at the dusty VHS pile that I was gonna suggest.

Okay. First up: The Wizard of Oz.

I frowned.

Was this actually a good choice?

It's basically about a girl who discovers that colors exist outside Kansas. Okay, sure but once she does, instead of being like "oh, cool" and learning about what the colors mean she starts to sing, dance, and immediately drops a house on the first woman she meets. And everyone cheers.

And then, as the audience, we're just told the woman was evil. Maybe she had bad PR?

Then Dorothy makes friends—awesome! Love that for her. But immediately afterward, she forms a little hit squad, marches off, and assassinates another woman, and as if that's not bad enough, she steals her stuff, too.

I picked up the VHS, staring deep into Judy Garland's soulful eyes. "Dorothy-san, you scare me. You really do."

The microwave beeped.

Oh no.

Smoke.

Dense, choking, evil smoke, And Natsumi wasn't even there!

"NO NO NO NO—"

I wrenched the microwave open. The scent slapped me like a burning ghost. Burnt popcorn. Charred and cursed. It looked like someone cremated Styrofoam and broken dreams.

Just then—

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Knock. Knock.

"Hey, open the door, you tanuki! And thank your lucky stars that I'm not interested in your nasty yokai blood."

"OH NO."

I sprinted across the room and threw open the door. Shion stood there, arms crossed, expression unreadable as always. Her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Are you... burning something in effigy?" she asked dryly.

"No! I mean—yes? Maybe—it's popcorn. I forgot you don't eat and I don't even like popcorn and—"

She raised a pale hand. "Stop. I'm not judging. Just making sure you weren't summoning something you couldn't banish. Or that Tito wasn't in here looking for revenge for the fiasco I might've caused."

I glanced back into the smoky room. "That popcorn really reeks... you don't think it'll really summon anything do you, Shion? Oh, you can come in."

She stepped inside, then she pretended like she was going to grab me.

I jumped, and she laughed!

"Oh my gosh! Your face! Oh, that was so worth it," Shion shoved my arm and grinned. Then she took one whiff, and winced. "That smell, Azuki? It's a war crime."

I shrugged, I was getting used to the smell. "I panicked! The bag was spinning in the microwave! Spinning means it's working, right?"

I had to grab the microwave tray with oven mitts—one decorated with a smiling tanuki, obviously—and carefully transferred the cursed popcorn onto a paper plate. It looked like charred coral, or carbon if it had a traumatic childhood.

Shion watched quietly, smirking.

"Are you sure I can't keep it for the cafeteria?" Shion asked.

I opened the door, placed the plate outside, and scribbled a note:

"Free Popcorn! Already burnt so you don't have to!"

Shutting the door, I turned back and decided to change the subject. "So! Ramune? I have... four flavors, including Mystery Blue."

She raised an eyebrow. "What's the mystery?"

I giggled. "No one knows. Some say blueberry. Others say sadness."

Shion looked at me like I was dumb for some reason. I patiently watched her draw a breath so she could explain.

"Azuki… You know I'm a vampire, right? I can only drink… oh, the hell with iht. I'll take the sadness," Shion replied. "You'd think I'd be used to sadness by now."

I watched her settle into the bean bag chair with an elegance that seemed vaguely threatening. "What do you suggest first?"

I pointed eagerly. "I was thinking... Home Alone?"

Shion's eyebrow climbed higher. "Maybe if I were ten. Why Home Alone?"

I shrugged. "It's basically about a kid who totally doubles down on the idea that his possessions are more important than his life. Instead of hiding in the church where he was talking to homeless Santa with a shovel and asking for help, he's like, 'These are my stairs, and I'll maim two grown men with paint cans to defend them.'"

Shion laughed softly. "Oh my god, you're a demented genius. But you know the movie is basically Jigsaw's origin story, right?"

I nodded. "Exactly! You can practically hear him whisper, 'I want to play a game.'"

She smiled—a rare and ghastly occurrence with her fangs. "Tempting, but no. Let's pick something lighter."

"Such as?"

She didn't hesitate. "The Sixth Sense."

I gaped at her. "Wait. The Sixth Sense? The one where Bruce Willis does, like, NOTHING badass?"

Shion shrugged. "Not true. He gets shot. Then helps a traumatized kid learn how to make ghost friends. Wholesome."

I crossed my arms. "Shion, the only joke in that movie is the one that destroys you upon rewatching."

She rolled her eyes at me. "I said funny. Didn't say ha ha funny."

I waved her off. "Pass. Sci-fi classic instead. What about Star Wars?"

Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "Which one? Aren't there, like, a whole bunch? I mean, there's what? Three?"

I stopped to count, then I nodded solemnly. "Yeah, that's right. ONLY three Star Wars movies."

She shivered dramatically. "Can you imagine if they just... kept making them? Like, if they just forgot what made them so good, but they kept doing it? And they got progressively worse, forever? I'm sure people would be excited… at first."

I grimaced. "Like a slow descent into sadness and merchandising."

She shivered again, genuinely disturbed. "Taking Star Wars and making it suck? Unimaginable."

We sat in reverent silence for a moment.

Finally, Shion's gaze lit up again. "Okay. Have you ever seen The Silence of the Lambs?"

I tilted my head. "Nope. Is that about lambs? Or farms?"

Shion grinned mischievously. "No. It's a fun, heartwarming tale of a misunderstood chef helping an FBI lady overcome personal issues. Plus, there's a nice lesson about helping strangers move furniture into creepy vans."

Tempting. I nodded. "...okay?"

We watched it together.

When it finished, I stared blankly at the screen.

Shion tossed a pillow at me. "Hello? Don't leave me hanging. What'd you think?"

I grinned. "Yeah, it was pretty good. But you were wrong about the FBI lady's friend. He wasn't a chef at ALL! He was a doctor who happened to be a misunderstood gourmet."

Shion raised her Mystery Blue in salute. "Semantics."

I saw that she still hadn't opened it.

Movie night didn't have to be perfect. It just had to be real.