I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

"Have you heard the joke about the kitsune's broom? No? That's funny. It's sweeping the town."

Sorane continued, unabated, while the rest of the class searched the grocery store for the manager's office.

Finally, Hotaru pointed to a door beside the public restrooms simply labeled "Employees Only."

"She might be in there," Hotaru said.

I sighed and tried the handle. It was locked.

Hotaru looked at me like I was an idiot.

"You don't think I tried that already?" she asked.

There was a window beside the door, but it was dark and impossible to look through from our end.

Then I heard Azuki from behind me.

"Hotaru! Now's your chance! You know what to do!"

And Hotaru's face lit up like it was a cherry bomb.

"Oh, yeah! Duh!" she said. "You're totally right, Azuki. I know what to do."

I saw her reach into one of her shinobi pouches, and the fist thing I thought of was her lucky ninja star with the pink and green paint.

"Hey, you can't be serious!" I said.

But Hotaru just tilted her head at me.

"Yeah. As a heart attack, buddy."

I shook my head, stepping forward to stop her.

"No! You can't bust the glass with your lucky throwing star—"

She started to giggle.

"As if!" she said.

Hotaru gave me a smug little grin and crouched in front of the lock like it owed her money.

From another pouch, she pulled out a tiny case labeled "Emergency Sparkle Toolkit."

Inside? Glittery pink lock picks.

"I keep them next to my candy-striped shuriken," she said. "For practical reasons."

Azuki leaned over to whisper, "I told you she was the rogue in our party."

Hotaru fumbled at the lock's tumblers.

"Wait," I said. Why don't we just go get the manager?"

I heard a tanuki raspberry from behind me.

"You would pick the most boring-est option," Azuki muttered.

Hotaru twirled a bobby pin in one hand and jabbed the tension wrench in with theatrical flair.

"Shhh! I need silence and reverence. Picking locks is an art. I'm communing with the spirit of the door."

There's no way that's a real thing.

Click.

It swung open.

Hotaru stood up like she'd just disarmed a bomb and wiped fake sweat from her brow.

"Boom. You're welcome, society."

The door creaked open slowly, revealing the dim, buzzing fluorescence of the Piggly Wiggly manager's office. The air smelled like expired copier toner, lukewarm potato wedges, and decades of broken dreams.

"Whoa," Hotaru whispered, stepping inside reverently, like she was entering a sacred tomb. "This place has serious janitor energy."

The carpet was stained a color that might once have been beige. A battered desk sat off-center in the room, buried under outdated inventory printouts, a cracked Walkman, and at least four open cups of coffee in various stages of decomposition.

And in the center of it all was Sorane.

Sitting backwards in a rolling chair.

Wearing the manager's headset.

Feet propped up on the desk, she held a half-eaten corndog in one hand and the store's PA microphone in the other.

Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

"...And then the broom said, 'Don't sweep me off my feet just yet,'" she intoned, her eyes distant as though she were receiving her jokes via celestial transmission.

"Oh my god," I muttered. "She possessed the Piggly Wiggly."

Azuki clapped her hands together, absolutely delighted.

"I KNEW she was the Herald of Dairy," she gasped. "This is her divine ascension!"

I grabbed the tanuki.

"No," I said. "No more. This is a grocery store field trip. We're not here to ascend to a higher plain in a place named after the way swine walks."

Azuki nodded that she understood.

Hotaru marched forward, hands on her hips.

"Sorane! We've been looking everywhere for you."

Sorane turned her head slowly, blinking like an owl. "Really?" she asked, tilting her head. "I was hiding in plain sight."

Then she looked at the three of us and frowned.

"You guys can't be back here. The door says 'Employees Only.'"

Hotaru made a hmph sound and stomped her foot down.

"So what are you doing back here, then? You don't work here," Hotaru said.

Sorane pointed to an employee badge that she'd clipped to her shirt.

"That's not what the badge says."

Now I turned towards Sorane.

"No. You don't get the privilege of saying you work at the Piggly Wiggly just because you clipped someone else's nametag to your shirt, 'Ethel'".

She looked down at the nametag and blushed.

"It's just a typo. I bet corporate is looking into it."

Hotaru had finally reached the point where I was. She grabbed Sorane's hand and began to pull her out the door.

"Not fair," Sorane yelled. "I was on base! You're supposed to give me until the count of ten before you go looking for me.

Did she think we were playing hide and seek in the grocery store?

"You weren't even hiding!" I shouted. "You're literally broadcasting to the whole store!"

We joined up with the rest of the class at the front of the store.

"Exactly," she whispered. "Sometimes the loudest signals are the ones no one hears…"

There was a pause. Hotaru turned to me.

"Do you ever feel like she's just a sleep-deprived Tumblr post given life?"

Yeah, I agreed.

"Every damn day," I replied.

I felt a familiar chill by my side and looked over to see Yuki had joined me again.

"Oh good," she said. "You found her. Now we can finally leave. I don't know about you, Ryu, but I'm getting pretty sick of this place. I mean, I'm dead, but I really can't abide any more time here at all."

I looked over at her.

"Yeah, Yuki. I get it."

I was the last one getting on the bus.

Want to know why?

Because it took me the longest to go through the check out.

I hadn't noticed earlier, but Azuki had thrown two boxes of tanuki-shaped cookies into the cart. When I found them, I picked them up and showed them to her asking why.

"Cultural preservation," she said.

She's not sincere. At all.

"Why two boxes?" I asked.

She grinned.

"Ryu-sama, don't you know that tanuki are generous? We need two boxes so that I have enough to share."

I sputtered for a moment before I found a sentence appropriate to say in public.

"But I'm paying for them!"

She smiled and nodded.

"Of course, and you're proving the luck part!"

And, quick as a wink, she kissed me on the cheek and skipped away before I could utter a single word.

"Tah tah for now! Don't worry! I'll save you a seat," she said without bothering to look back.

I slowly reached up to wipe off the sticky, wet mark Azuki left on the side of my face as Yuki watched her.

"I suppose she thinks she's being nice," Yuki said. "But she could've at least wiped her mouth off first. I'm pretty sure she was on her third Ring Pop."

"Yeah," I said, trying to get the last bits of sugar and sprinkles off before they dried. "I think most of it's still on my cheek. I'm pretty sure this is mostly Ring Pop and cookie icing. Why is it grainy?"

Yuki took a closer look.

Then she laughed out loud.

"Ryu! Get this! I think she put lip gloss over the Ring Pop and crumbs! Hang on. I've got to go explain how Chapstick is supposed to work to a yokai."

Then she floated off, leaving me at the checkout lane with one very grumpy, and possibly underpaid, Piggly Wiggly employee.

And one final question: paper or plastic.

Back at school, Kurogane-sensei stood in front of the chalkboard and wrote in firm, slow kanji:

"Today's Lesson: Never Again."

She turned to face our class.

Fushineko-sensei walked in between rows handing out required public service assignments to everyone who'd gone on the field trip.

I made sure the tengu got his box of Froot Loops, with the race car, only for him to be disappointed that the race car that came with the cereal was a toy.

"You've got to read the fine print," I explained.

He shook his head dismissively.

"Bah, as if human beings could be so cunning to trick me like that! Obviously, the real culprit is still out there… mocking me with this ridiculous plumage and 'Follow your nose' nonsense! Where, foul toucan? For what purpose? Show yourself and let us see who has the finer feathers!"

Kurogane-sensei turned from the board towards the tengu in a heartbeat.

"Shhh! Quiet down back there," she warned. "We've all had quite enough today, thank you very much!"

The tengu straightened up in his chair and didn't say a word.

I made my way back to my seat without Kurogane-sensei needing to remind me.

"Now, let's go over what we learned today," she said flatly.

Fushineko-sensei's cat-eyed gaze swept the classroom, looking for anyone who might object.

"The kind regional manager of the Piggly Wiggly as agreed not to press any charges as long as all of you complete your required public service hours. Remember, this is part of your grade in addition to preventing any possibly legal engagements, so get them finished as quickly as possible."

"Yes, Kurogane-sensei," the class said together.

She took a breath, nodded.

"Good. Now, one final thing. We just need someone responsible enough to collect everyone's public service hours. This means going to each of your work sights and making sure to get the paperwork and your signatures. Who among you is capable?"

Azuki didn't say anything, but I felt her looking at me from the corner of her eye.

I slowly put my head down, not meeting her gaze.

But I could still feel Yuki's cool presence beside me.

"Anyone?" Kurogane-sensei repeated.

I looked over at my ghost girl.

"Ryu," she whispered. "Do you think they mean you?"

I didn't want to think about it.

A shadow fell over my desk.

Fushineko-sensei was standing directly behind me.

I felt my shoulders grow tense.

"Anyone of you?" Kurogane-sensei repeated.

Sorane raised her hand, and relief washed over me like refreshing cool water.

Then she pointed at me.

"Kazeyama-san knows you're implying he should do it. It's obvious," she said.

I felt the entre classroom's gaze fall squarely upon me.

Yuki folded her hands in front of her and smiled sadly at me.

"Oh, you people suck," I muttered.