I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Died Before I Was Even Born

I made it to aisle five, hoping I'd feel a shred of relief when I got there.

Instead, I saw Yuki floating at the end of the aisle, her hands were covering her eyes and her mouth was hanging open as though she were screaming, but no noise came out.

Sadly, I recognized that look instantly: the look of utter defeat.

Azuki stood frozen in front of the freezer section, pointing like she'd just discovered Atlantis. "THEY PUT ICE CREAM IN A BOX?"

Beside her, Hotaru stood nodding in agreement.

"Right? Like, all the best food comes in boxes!"

I saw Sorane next to them. Inside the freezer. She was drawing on the condensation inside the glass with the end of her fingernail. She'd already drawn what looked like an entire Inari shrine scene set in winter. I saw her take a breath and blow on the glass and then continue.

Then, Azuki opened another freezer and tried to crawl inside, yelling something about retrieving the frozen moose from inside of an ice cream carton to track him.

"Noooooooo, silly!" Hotaru screamed, grabbing Azuki by the foot. "It's just called Moose Tracks! I swear, no one's trying to pull a fast one on you."

Then Hotaru saw me running towards her.

"Ryu! Help me get Azuki out of here. She's gone feral for the taste of frozen dairy desert!"

I felt for Hotaru, but I had no clue how to save her from a feral tanuki who's fiending for Ben & Jerry's like her life depended on it.

Until I saw the one thing that could possibly over-ride Azuki's Haagen-Dazs habit: Pocky-flavored ice cream.

Azuki LOVED Pocky almost as much as fish love water. Scratch that. Maybe more.

I grabbed a box of Pocky Ice Cream Bars and from the freezer beside me, and ran beside of Hotaru.

"Azuki!" I yelled.

She turned, but she didn't really see me. Her eyes looked glazed over, and I couldn't tell if it was because she'd been crawling around in an industrial-grade freezer or if soft serve madness had fully taken hold of her.

"Check it out! Pocky Ice Cream Bars!"

A second later I'd gone blind.

"Azuki!" I heard Yuki yell. "Get off Ryu's face! He's holding the ice cream bars in his hand you-you absolute tanuki menace!"

I tried to breathe, but all I could smell was fabric softener, melted Nerds candy, and the ten thousand irresponsible decisions of Azuki the tanuki.

"Oh my goodness! Ryu-sama! I'm so sorry!" Azuki said a moment later.

I was too busy breathing just then to be paying much attention.

How foolish of me. I thought I had at least a moment to catch my breath after getting hit, face first, by a tanuki ice cream missile.

I looked around, expecting to find Hotaru, Sorane, Azuki, and Yuki exactly where they'd been about twenty seconds before.

But instead, I was there with just Yuki and Azuki.

"Where'd Hotaru and Sorane go?" I asked, wishing I didn't care.

Azuki pointed to the end of the aisle.

"Oh, they're just down there with the free samples folks," she said.

Yuki turned and looked where Azuki was pointing.

"Okay," she said flatly. "That should be alright. What's the worst that could happen?"

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

I took three steps towards the intersection of the deli and the produce when Azuki decided to crush whatever pathetic excuse remained of my soul by pointing out the obvious.

"We'll need a cart," she said.

I stopped walking. My brain tried to leave my body, but it was trapped in meat and anxiety. I groaned, ran a clammy hand down the front of my sad, sad face, and slowly turned towards the perpetually cheerful tanuki.

"Please, no," I said.

She just tilted her head, confused.

"Um, yes, Ryu-sama!" she said. "You know it'd be super helpful instead of, like, just carrying around that beat-up box of Froot Loops. Why're you getting that anyway?"

She looked at the front of the box.

"Oh! Duh! It comes with a sweet race car. Good choice! Well, we won't get the cart just standing around here, now will we? To adventure!"

Azuki pointed towards the front of the store like a goblin on a fetch quest.

Yuki giggled as she floated beside me.

"Oh, Ryu, don't look so sad!"

I felt the air around me drop as though I'd just been the one inside an industrial freezer.

"Listen, I know going to the grocery store can be overwhelming, overstimulating, and a first-class pain in the neck, but you're handling this beautifully."

We'd started walking towards the front of the store to grab a cart, but I wanted to stop again.

I looked at Yuki as though she were a mad woman.

"You're kidding," I said.

She just shook her head, sending little snowflakes scattering around her that melted into steam before hitting the floor.

"Not at all," she said. "I mean, you might think you're doing bad just because the entire Piggly Wiggly looks like something even H.P. Lovecraft would've been to terrified to write, but I think you're wonderful."

I looked at her, and she was calmly floating beside me, her hands folded in front of her in the perfect image of traditional Japanese wholesomeness.

Yuki felt like a welcome breath of fresh air, but as I looked to the side, I saw Kurogane-sensei in a heated argument with an akaname who'd been trying to lick some spilled Question Mark Cola from the Piggly Wiggly floor.

"Ew, that's so gross!" Azuki yelled as we passed.

The akaname glanced at us.

"Aw, thanks guys!" he said.

He waved too, but Azuki refused to acknowledge it.

Eventually, we got our cart. I put the single box of Froot Loops that I'd been carrying into it.

"Okay," Azuki said.

I watched as she tried to climb into the cart. Then she turned towards me expectantly.

"Um, a little help here?"

My shoulder slumped.

"How old are you?" I asked.

She just scrunched up her face, as though my question were hilarious.

"Ryu-sama, I'm a yokai, remember? Never ask a girl her age! And what's that got to do with anything? Are you suggesting that I don't know how to have fun? Now, quit gawking and help me get into this cart so I can navigate while you push me around, silly."

I looked at Yuki. She just shrugged.

So I sighed and tried to help Azuki into the cart. Of course, as soon as I touched her, she started wiggling and squirming while giggling frantically.

"Hee-he-heee-heee!! Ryu-sama! Oh, my gosh! Hee-he-hee! I'm ticklish!" she cried while tears streamed down her eyes.

I had to set her back down, failing to put the flailing tanuki into the cart.

"Well how the hell am I supposed to put you in the cart with you squirming like that?"

She wiped a tear from her eye.

"Heyyyy, it's not my fault that tanuki are naturally ticklish!" she said. "Oh, I know! Kneel down, put your hands here, and hoist me up into the cart!"

I didn't argue. It wasn't worth it. I just did like she asked.

She didn't move.

"Are we doing this or what?" I asked.

She huffed.

"Don't look up my skirt!" she said.

Oh my god I am in hell.

"Okay, fine, let's just get on with it," I said. I closed my eyes.

And I waited.

"Are you saying that I'm not cute?" she asked.

"What?"

I opened my eyes. She stood in front of me. Arms crossed, hurt look on her face only magnified by her round glasses.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Her mouth dropped open, shocked.

"I bet if I were Shion, you wouldn't hesitate. You'd look straight up her skirt, and she'd be exactly the type of girl who'd let you. So, are you, like saying I'm not cute enough or do you only date girls who've passed on?"

I wondered if Lewis Carroll could follow that logic.

So, I did the only thing I could think of.

"Hey, Azuki, don't you want to get in the cart so we can get the Pocky Ice Cream Bars?"

She didn't even hesitate. She practically leapt onto my hands, I hoisted her up, and she landed in the cart with a "whoomph".

Then came the giggles.

"I bet you totally looked, Ryu-sama!" she said.

I winced.

No. But with the way she landed in the cart, I didn't exactly have to.

Her face was blood-red and she was sticking her tongue out of her mouth as she smirked.

"Did you see? I've got a tanuki face on my cutie tanuki—"

I coughed.

"Booty," she finished.

If only words were enough to describe the sound my soul made as it tried to leave my body. It must have been hilarious, though, because even Yuki joined Azuki in mocking me.

"Let's just get what we need and leave as soon as possible," I muttered.