I Didn’t Even Want to Live, But God Forced Me to Reincarnate!

Lyra’s performance during her tests reminded lots of people about the previous perfect queen candidate—the unfortunate girl who died young.

There were similarities in how they conducted themselves during the tests—however, Lyra’s performance was described as more exuberant and jovial, in contrast to Reinst’s performance, which was more meek and docile, yet gave off her strong character.

The two have many similarities, as both exhibited the qualities of the previous queens. Only the character displayed is different, as each person’s character differs.

Take the king’s mother, for example—being the only heir to the throne, she was brought up to be the ideal queen and heir to the throne—she gave off the image of a delicate, yet strong flower with the same level of elegance and skills that Reinst and Lyra managed to display.

Yes, Lyra didn’t even realize it herself.

But, right now, she has managed to change her submissive and obeying character as Reinst—and displayed more of her true character.

This is the result of the years she’s spent as Lyra.

 

Even so, the surprisingly unexpected result overwhelmed even her parents. Just what are they thinking about her daughter?

And why didn’t they interrogate Lyra’s suspicious answers?

Let’s take a step back, to the day where Lyra’s tests took place...

 

Cyan’s POV

I can’t comprehend it.

How can Lyra accomplish such a feat?

I mean, I purposely didn’t prepare her with any etiquette training and anything similar to that (fearing that she might be pressured to be the future queen and I would lose her earlier... it’s unthinkable!), but she could conduct herself in such a manner?!

And what’s up with her knowledge?

Is she a genius or really gifted?!

It’s as if she’d been trained for years, as if she has known all the knowledge!

Even the tutors can’t comprehend it, and they also testified that Lyra didn’t cheat.

 

Wait, how dare they even thought of her cheating?!

*clear throats*

 

This is totally beyond my imagination.

Never did I imagine my daughter would be like this.

Don’t get me wrong. Whatever happens, I will always love her.

But still, I need some explanation as to how she could do that…

She didn’t even aim to be the queen, so why…?

…I think I need to reread the bibliographies of talented and gifted people to find some hints, some similarities… and hear what Cassie’s thinking about it.

 

Cassie’s POV

…I know that intelligence can be inherited, and that I’ve always been praised as gifted.

But… I am gifted in terms of magic, and I’m a fast learner due to my thirst for knowledge, and that I’ve read countless books.

However, in terms of elegance and noble etiquettes – mannerism… I have no interest in such formalities, nor was I considered gifted in them.

But Lyra…?

Her magic knowledge is so-so, but she’s eager to learn, and has always been able to comprehend my teaching quite fast.

Her common knowledge is superb, but she sometimes needs to know some recent updates.

However…

She’s beyond genius in terms of her etiquette and mannerism. She can even be announced as the future queen right now, heck, nobody would be able to object that decision after seeing her performance.

We didn’t even train her, so how come…?

Even Queen Shaula needed to struggle a lot when she learned all the required skills to be the queen.

 

Wait… I think I have heard some phenomenon of oddly gifted people like her and the theories surrounding their mysteries.

I wonder what does Cyan think about this…?

 

***

 

On their way to get Lyra back after accompanying Luca...

“Hey, Cyan, what do you think? Should Lyra still learn everything again, despite the result?” Cassie asked, unsure.

“...won’t she be bored, though?” Cyan remembered that he was definitely bored during his etiquette classes, despite not being good at it.

“So, leave the choice to her?”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

“...Should we press for more answers from her? About how she could...?”

“We have asked her after the tests, right?” Cyan raised his eyebrows.

“True, but, she seems to be holding something back.”

“It indicates that she doesn’t want to tell whatever it is, right?” Cyan deducted.

“Maybe, she doesn’t want to talk about it in front of the tutors?” Cassie hoped her daughter could tell them everything.

“It can be... okay, let’s try asking, then,” Cyan said.

The discussion was abruptly stopped, as they finally could see the figure of their beloved daughter, along with the little prince.

 

 

***

When they finally got home, Cyan and Cassie escorted Lyra to her room, closed the door, and were about to ask about how Lyra could accomplish such a feat...

But, they soon realized the nervous look on Lyra’s face.

Her legs were slightly trembling, and her expression remained calm despite showing the obvious signs of nervousness.

Cyan and Cassie didn’t proceed to ask.

The two of them looked at each other—as if they were communicating with their thoughts.

They somehow could tell that they were thinking the same thing.

Seems like Lyra’s afraid of questioning, which means she is reluctant to honestly tell us.

The two slightly nodded, agreeing that they shouldn’t press the matter further.

Cassie finally opened her mouth.

“So, Lyra... you can choose : will you go through all the education of what you’ve shown that you’re capable of, just in case... or not?”

That nervous look and slight trembling left Lyra, and they knew they did the right thing.

 

***

Later on, that night...

“Hey, I know we talked about it before, but seriously, what did you think about Lyra’s performance? We could discuss it right now, I think...” Cassie asked, while burying her body in the blanket.

They couldn’t discuss the issue fully on their way back.

Cyan positioned himself near his wife and closed the book he was reading.

“Absolutely astonishing. And she said she only learned everything from what she saw during Alt’s birthday parties, the books, others’ way of conduct, and some shows? Is that even possible?” Cyan put his hand on his chin, thinking.

“It’s something that you need to get used to doing… Practice and training would make it perfect. Even if she can absorb the knowledge about it at a rapid speed, she would still need practice…”

“You think so, too?”

“Yes. It’s really a mystery… Altaire was also gifted, but it’s just that he’s a fast learner. He needed practices to attain the good results. Lyra’s different.”

Cassie knows comparing her children isn’t a good thing, but they clearly need a parameter. Obviously, Lyra is not your average girl.

...but then again, Altaire can’t be a good parameter for comparison.

Still.

“Yeah. I am glad we are blessed with such gifted children, but Lyra... Hey, you aren’t frightened by our own daughter, right?” Cyan asked, but his question was way too absurd, that Cassie was flabbergasted.

“Huh? Are you kidding me? No way! No matter how, she is still our daughter! …Or, are you frightened of her because of this?”

“No, I won’t! She’s our cherished daughter!” Cyan raised his voice.

“…”

The two of them glared at each other in silence.

...Oops.

Hope we are not too loud... The children might be sleeping.

“…Actually, Lyra is really a wonder. Like how she seemed to understand everything we said even when she was still a young toddler, how she was a very obedient and mature child… It’s like…,” Cassie stopped.

“…Like…?”

“…Like she’s known everything from the beginning of her life…? Can she read minds, maybe?”

“Well… I beg to differ. Look, some of her knowledge is quite outdated, and we had to correct her sometimes… So perhaps that is not the case.”

“…True. …wait, outdated knowledge?!”

“Yeah, I’ve read the bibliographies of some influential people in the past… It’s written that they [were gifted with the ancient knowledge from the God] or [received divine revelation from God]… Like how [The Hero] gained the said [divine revelation of military strategies and battle techniques], despite being the son of ordinary peasants.”

“Do you think Lyra’s like that, too?”

“…It can be…?” Cyan was quite unsure.

Hmm, something is not right.

“…wait, I think I have another theory bearing a closer resemblance to her. [The Greatest Magician] was also a precocious child during her younger days, gaining incredible magical knowledge that her family and other people near her didn’t even know anything about… And… she also had some outdated knowledge…”

Again, silence ensued, and the two only stared at each other.

“What did the rumors and record say about [The Greatest Magician]?” Cyan asked.

Her story is kinda similar to Lyra’s situation…

“…Lots of theories, but there’s this one odd theory… You know [Samsara]?” Cass threw out a foreign term.

“The endless cycle of life, death, and rebirth? You mean, the cycle of life?” Luckily, Cyan has the knowledge about it, so the discussion can proceed without any haste.

“Yeah. It’s said that all souls would be reborn after they’re death… but normally… let me put an emphasis here. NORMALLY, they would lose all their past memories before being born. But, there have been cases where some could retain parts or even the whole memories of their past self.”

Cass inhaled a long breath before continuing.

“They hypothesized that [The Greatest Magician] retained some of her past memories… and I think…”

“…our Lyra, too?” Cyan continued her sentence.

“Most probably.” Cass nodded.

“…you think she’s the reincarnation of some past queen?”

“We can’t be so sure about that, but there’s a possibility. Or some noble with extensive knowledge about mannerism and etiquette for an ideal queen. And judging from Lyra’s poor explanation to us and her reaction earlier today, I bet she doesn’t want to tell us about it.” Cassie guessed it right.

Yes, Lyra was reluctant to tell her parents the truth about herself.

“…apparently, yes. And if this is true, then that would probably explain some of her weird behaviors…” Cyan thought back to Lyra’s behavior that he couldn’t understand why.

“I wish she could tell us about that, and so we can help her overcome her past memories… Like, perhaps she had some kind of bad memories with [Dark] magic,” Cass remembered Lyra’s extreme rejection of her [Dark] element.

“Hey, it’s not good to force her to tell us… right? She is our daughter, but she has the right to defend her privacy.”

“I know… I just wish I can do more for her, since I am her mother, after all.” Cassie sighed.

 

“Hey, I think she has opened up to us quite a lot, don’t you think? Don’t you remember how she used to be more submissive and seemed to hold back lots of things compared to the present her?” Cyan reminded Cassie.

“Yeah, well, that might be true, but she doesn’t seem to be fully open to us…wait, what if she likes her past parents better than us, and that’s why she doesn’t want to open up to us about it?” Cassie’s imagination started to wander off.

“Hey, hey! There is no way… wait, you mean, she thinks I’m not a loving papa enough?!” Cyan started to get anxious, too.

 

...Cyan, you should listen to yourself, saying a loving papa without any hesitation. And you are a member of the Elite Royal Spies!

 

“We are a high-ranked noble family, but she doesn’t receive the proper luxury a noble should have! What if she was born to some wealthy and better family in her past? She must have been pampered, but now she must live without those luxuries?!” Cassie imagined the common wealthy nobles.

“…Uhhhh Cass, sorry for involving you in this household… You must have it better when you were at your parents’ house, right?” Cyan was being sensitive, this time.

“No, no, I am an exception. Though at first we were in an arranged engagement, in the end, it was my choice to be with you. But Lyra didn’t get to choose her parents, right?”

 

The two didn’t think highly of themselves, and started to fret out, wanting to be better than “Lyra’s previous parents”—all while they haven’t even confirmed the validity of their hypothesis about Lyra being a reincarnated person with some of her memories intact.

The two of them hold a high position in the Royal Court, but somehow their brain can’t function right when it comes to their children?

The world is full of mysteries, indeed!

 

They went silent to think.

 

“A-anyway! Let’s not force her to tell us what she actually didn’t want to… okay?” Cyan finally broke the silence.

I don’t want her to feel that we are way too nosy as a parent… and to feel that she would be better off with her previous parents.

No, no, the thought is just too terrifying.

Cyan gulped.

Cassie nodded.

“Yeah, if the day when she wants to tell us comes, we should be able to accept her, no matter what.”

No matter if she is still more attached to her previous family… (Cyan)

Noo, I hate to think about that, I feel so inadequate as a mother. (Cassie)

Cassie started to sweat in her anxiety.

“Yes, I know that we can accept and love her, no matter what happens,” Cyan said, while grasping Cassie’s hand.

Even if our hearts might be crushed by her story…

 

And the two people finally reached their (foolish) conclusions.

 

That night, they had nightmares of being compared to the other parents and how their daughter preferred the other over them.

“I miss my old parents… if only I could be with them…”

The image of their daughter weeping alone in her bed while lamenting her current birth circumstances, kept playing over and over in their dreams.

Before long, their dream also displayed Altaire, who pouted and wished for a better set of parents, while looking at the other wealthier noble children with the eyes full of envy.

 

The next morning.

It was a beautiful morning like usual.

The clear blue skies, the refreshing air, the nice smell of the sunlight.

The nice smell of Chloe’s cooking!

A table with enough food for the family.

As usual, the children gobbled their food right away.

 

“Lyra. Altaire,” Cass said.

“”Yes?”” Both Lyra and Altaire stopped to put foods and drinks inside their mouths and shifted their attention to their parents.

“Do you think we are good enough as your parents?” Cyan asked.

Lyra almost choked and Altaire gushed out his drink.

“Wha, what, Dad, Mom, what’s up with you two?” Altaire asked, as he slightly laughed at his parents’ foolish question.

Lyra choked on her food and coughed for a while.

 

The children thought their parents were only joking and didn’t respond any more than that.

 

“Uhmm, you know that we love you very much, yes, both of you… right?” Cass asked.

Lyra almost drank her water to relieve her cough, but then she stopped, as she was surprised by Cass’ follow-up question. It was quite a rhetorical question.

“Mommm, come on, of course we know! And I love you two very much, Mom, Dad! I couldn’t ask for better parents!” Altaire stretched his arms up, as if he was sending hugs to Cass and Cyan.

Lyra finally stopped coughing.

“Mom, Dad, what’s up? Of course, I love you!” She blushed as she said this. She is still not used to say those lines out loud.

Hearing that, the foolish parents felt relieved.

“I, is that so? Thank you…,” Cassie also blushed.

“Sorry for the weird question, haha!” Cyan smiled in relief.

“Dad, you’re always the weirdo, but Mom, it’s so unlike you!” Altaire blurted it out without thinking.

“Ah, well… you know that I’m a weirdo…,” Cyan’s voice when he said that indicated that he didn’t agree with Alt’s opinion, and then he continued to speak.

“And though we are a ducal family, we are not that wealthy. Wouldn’t you want to choose to be born to another family that has it better than… your current one, given the choice?”

Lyra’s expression stiffened.

She may have remembered her past self and the wealth she’s enjoyed.

…or did she remember her unhappiness despite having all the wealth she could enjoy?

 

“Uhm, while it’s true that I want my family to be wealthier… but I still love you two, Dad, Mom. So, it’s okay. I promise I will quickly grow up and help you—help to make our family rich!” Altaire said, his eyes full of determination.

To be honest, hearing this from their own child made them both happy and felt touched.

And yes, Altaire really wanted to enter the special class just so he can quickly help his beloved parents.

 

“…If I can choose my parents,” Lyra said.

Cassie and Cyan reflexively focused their attention to Lyra, as they started to have a cold sweat.

“Obviously, I would still choose you two,” she said, with her soft and sincere tone.

Hearing that, Cass and Cyan quietly sighed in relief, and looked at each other.

Though they were silent, their eyes communicated.

Guess we worried over nothing.

 

Yes, indeed, you two worried over nothing, and was tortured by it all night long.

 

Afterward, they decided they won’t excessively question Lyra, no matter how odd her behavior might seem… unless it’s absolutely necessary.

For now, it’s enough.

They have the rest of their lives to learn more about their daughter, after all, so why try to risk it and destroy the trust they have built?

Nothing good will be gained from forcing her to tell what she doesn’t want them to know.

If they forced her, she might develop insecurities and decreased trust towards them.

 

So, it’s okay.

Let’s take it easy, slow and steady.

After all, we are family.