I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

60 – Serving Yourself as My Side Dish (1)

Victoria and I had exchanged actions so shameful they were difficult to speak of.

Instead of resolving our s*xual desires on our own, we used someone else’s hand to satisfy them for the first time.

“……”

“……”

After that, only an awkward, quiet silence flowed between us.

“It feels somewhat unsatisfying. Stopping right before the payoff like that, rather than just breaking even, only makes my body burn, driving me crazy.”

– If it were now, I feel like I could definitely conceive Astal-nim’s child… Even if it meant I would no longer be a Saintess…

I could understand to some extent why Victoria was saying such things. If not for my trauma, I too would have pounced on her, because last night’s excitement and memories were that overwhelming.

In the end, despite not engaging in intercourse according to the Heavenly God’s decree, the bed sheets were completely soaked and soiled, earning me a scolding from the innkeeper.

“…It’s like the warmth and scent of last night still linger on my hands. Truly, a man’s lust is something that corrupts women and plunges them into pits of lechery.”

Even after showering, Victoria kept clenching and unclenching her hands, or sometimes sniffing them, revealing such lewd thoughts that it made me uncomfortable.

She even exhibited the bizarre behavior of bringing her fingers to her mouth, forcing me, with my ability to read her mind, to stop her several times.

This time, the Heavenly God only permitted fingers, so engaging in any oral s*xual acts could cause her to cease being a saintess.

“So, are you disappointed?”

“Yes, I am. You reveled so much in my lascivious body last night, only to not cross the line in the end.”

As Victoria said those words, she gazed at me with an alluring look. Perhaps it was because she had climbed the ladder to adulthood, but I even felt the illusion that she had become more mature.

I realized for the first time last night how white and soft Victoria’s skin was. Her violent breasts and lower body kept flashing through my mind.

“…You always insulted me before, though.”

“That was to prevent you from harboring any lingering feelings for me. Ah, but now the situation is reversed. You’re pushing me away because of your past guilt.”

“……”

Hearing Victoria’s words, I let out a deep sigh and covered my face with my hands.

There was nothing wrong with what she said. I felt ashamed to properly meet her gaze.

“So, I understand that some of the flowers have disappeared… but if the side effects of the miracle could be resolved like this, why didn’t they do it sooner?”

After spending the night with Victoria, I noticed the flowers blooming on my body disappearing, and felt a strange unease.

The prevailing opinion until now was that the gods could not directly influence the mortal realm. That’s why they appoint saintesses and heroes as proxies to carry out their will.

But why did they suddenly change their minds this time and remove the flowers on my body? No matter how much I thought about it, the outcome was illogical, and I couldn’t help but question it.

“Do you remember the mural we saw in the Sacred Kingdom’s forbidden library?”

At that moment, Victoria spoke an unexpected word.

“Yeah, I’m sure it was a picture of countless gods clinging to and fighting some massive form, like a shard of glass.”

A mural depicting eleven gods fighting something. Recalling it, I nodded at her words.

If it was something kept in the Sacred Kingdom Aurelium’s forbidden library, I figured it had some secret.

Why bring up that story so suddenly?

“…To save you, I prayed day and night, and the celestial god Lumina mentioned that mural.”

“The god who hasn’t said a word until now, did?”

“Yes, after hearing the story, I think there was a reason she couldn’t before.”

– Will you believe what I say? Or will you just see me as a loose woman, using tricks to seduce Lord Astal with my body…?

Victoria was deliberately dragging out the conversation, hesitant to talk about the truth.

“…I’ll believe whatever you say, so speak frankly.”

Having read her thoughts, I gently grabbed Victoria’s shoulders and stared into her eyes.

A gaze mixed with unease and anxiety. Fear that her relationship with me would grow more distant spilled from her trembling eyes.

“The moment the gods influence the mortal world, there’s an existence from another dimension that gains power at the same time.”

“…What?”

“It’s like a reflection in a mirror. If we raise our left hand, the being in the mirror raises their left hand as well.”

Victoria was moving her lips, mentioning a shocking truth. I thought our enemy was ultimately the demon king Ergosum.

“…So we have another enemy?”

“To be precise, you can think of it as another god-like being supporting the demon king. The reason your village was attacked was also because of that being, apparently.”

“Why are you telling me such important information now…?!”

“Well, only we have succeeded in subjugating the four heavenly kings of the demon army.”

– I only found out myself last night. I was also afraid that if I revealed the truth right away, you might try to end your life again….

I twitched an eyebrow listening to Victoria. I couldn’t sense any agitation or deceit in her heart, so it didn’t seem like a lie.

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

“You’re the only heroes among countless adventurer parties who have achieved results, which is why you’ve earned the right to hear the truth.”

– I’m sorry, Astal. I judged that it was better to explain this truth later, since saving your life came first.

Victoria was looking down at me, but she seemed to be telling me everything slowly.

Hearing her inner thoughts, I could tell she had put a lot of thought and deliberation into her decision.

“Yeah, I did think it was strange that the Durahan, one of the Four Heavenly Kings of the Demon Lord’s army, would bring troops to raze a small rural village that doesn’t even appear on the map.”

“…….”

“If they wanted to overturn the continent, it would have been more effective to assassinate the Emperor or target the Grand Duke of the North!”

If they disguised the Emperor’s death as an assassination by another country, or killed the Grand Duke of the North and let monsters pour out from the frontier, they could have destroyed the world without sending troops.

“But the Demon Lord didn’t do that. But now that I see it. What? There was someone else behind him? Why are you telling me such important information now…!”

I had no choice but to raise my voice, letting out a frustrated sigh towards Victoria. Because I couldn’t stand how loathsome those goddamn gods were.

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, Lord Astal.”

Victoria bowed her head towards me, offering her apologies instead. Even though she was also a victim who suffered from miracles as a child.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault in the end. The side effects of miracles are also due to causality.”

The pain-numbing magic wore off, and I was starting to feel the pain in my body. I was vividly feeling as much pain as Victoria must have endured to save me.

I clenched my teeth, and couldn’t bring myself to say harsh words to her. She was a saint who sacrificed everything for me, for the sole reason that she liked me.

“So…. Then why did the Demon Lord invade my hometown of all places? Bellamora said something similar last time.”

“…It’s just a guess, but I think it’s because you’re the only one who can defeat the Demon Lord.”

– “After all the agonizing I’ve done on my own, this is the only explanation that makes sense.”

Victoria spoke, slowly caressing my cheek. I could feel a slight tremor in her touch.

“Isn’t that a role for heroes or saints? I think Kyle is more trustworthy than me.”

“…In the end, if it weren’t for Astal, this party would have been wiped out a long time ago. Do you truly not understand why I’ve fallen in love with you? Women are weak to the men who save them.”

“……”

Victoria, directly confessing her affection for me.

The attitude of mockery and teasing was gone, replaced by a hand over her chest, savoring the feeling of her own heartbeat.

“Astal, my beloved. There are three things I want from you.”

“…What are they?”

“Firstly, let us follow the will of the Celestial God and prolong our lives together until the flower is completely gone.”

“Even though I act like a scoundrel towards you? There’s no telling how much worse I’ll act next time…”

I brought up the time I deliberately acted like a bad guy, trying to reject Victoria’s offer.

Last night, I intentionally said lewd things about her figure and body parts to make myself less appealing.

“It’s alright. No matter how vulgar my body may be, if it becomes a means to tempt you, I will gladly accept it.”

“Really…?”

“Actually, I was a little excited. To see the man who pushed me away so much, his eyes glazed over with lustful desire.”

– “As if to make me realize that I am your very own lewd holy woman, you tormented me with such incredibly sadistic words.”

Victoria’s cheeks flushed slightly as she spoke. She fanned herself, trying to quell the redness in her ears and the heat rising within her.

“…I’m not impotent, you know.”

“Yes, I know that very well now. I know just how magnificent and firm a tool you possess. It’s a good thing I’m a devout saint, otherwise, any other woman would have begged you to plunge them into a pit of lust.”

– Of course, I wanted to pray like that too… But saving your life or achieving revenge was more important.

Victoria was looking at the bottom of my pants, her tongue running over her lips as if drooling, and I felt a slight chill run down my spine from that gaze.

Just how insatiable is her desire, to harbor such thoughts? In contrast, I ended up thinking her self-control was amazing.

Even after we spectacularly relieved our lusts to the point of soaking the entire bed, we ultimately didn’t cross a certain line.

“…Second, let’s extend our contract relationship until we catch the Demon King.”

“Why until then? There’s no benefit in it for me.”

“I will make sure Astal-nim falls in love with me by then. If your feelings are still the same afterwards, I’ll sort out my own feelings. And…”

– There’s this advantage. We’ve now seen each other’s precious parts that we can absolutely never show to anyone else…

Victoria grabbed my wrist, slowly pulling my hand to place it on her left breast.

And,

Forcibly making me touch the soft, yielding, heavy weight of flesh, she slightly raised the corners of her lips.

“…Instead of smoking or drinking, I’ll let you indulge in my breasts as much as you want, so please quit smoking and drinking, for good. I want you to live a long life.”

“Isn’t this a little perverted?”

Victoria even showed the meticulousness of deliberately not wearing underwear. Among the gently spreading sensation, I felt something catch on my finger.

“You used me as a side dish to relieve your lust last night, and now you’re worrying about that kind of thing?”

“You were incredibly excited yesterday too. How much did you stain the bed while shouting my na…!?”

I was about to retort to Victoria at that moment, but I stopped breathing at the sound of someone opening the door and entering.

“Victoria, Astal, why haven’t you two come out of the room? The morning sun has fully charged….”

The brown-haired spirit mage with bear ears, Anima Silverbroom.

She saw the conversation we were having, the underwear and clothes strewn haphazardly on the floor, and the grey bed soaked in glistening liquid, and she closed her mouth.

“Ah, sorry! Did I interrupt? Take your time! Everyone knows you two are dating now…! I’ll tell Kyle you’re going to be late!”

Anima, who initially covered her mouth with her hand, then averted her gaze as if she hadn’t seen anything, darted back and slammed the door shut.

“Wait, wait a minute…!! Anima, it’s a misunderstanding! I can explain everything!”

“It seems we have even more reason to continue our contract relationship.”

Victoria approached silently, wrapping her arms around me from behind, pressing her breasts against my back.

“Surely, after giving me my first taste of s*xual pleasure, you’re not going to tell me we’re nothing… I refuse to believe it.”

– Because if that were the case, I wouldn’t hesitate to defile you, making you just a normal woman instead of a saint who’s lost her virginity.

She was revealing her terrifying intentions towards me.