NOVEL NEXT Chapter 20: Of What Made You
The world around Juno seemed to distort, the edges of her vision blurring into a hazy kaleidoscope of past and present. The place now stood as a hollowed husk, a place where time itself felt as though it had crumbled. The unconscious child in her arms stirred slightly, but her eyes remained closed. Juno's breaths came shallow and quick, the weight of the situation pressing down on her chest. Yet, she tightened her grip on the child and straightened, her hazel-green eyes locking onto the Reflection and Agredor.
The Reflection stood poised, her Chronosword glinting as it absorbed the fractured light of this collapsing memory. Her expression was a mixture of stoicism and barely concealed contempt, her voice cold and precise. "You can't protect her. You don't even know what she represents. This isn't about you. It's about everything you've destroyed."
Juno stepped forward, her boots crunching against the shattered remnants of the cathedral floor. Despite her fear, she held her ground. "I know exactly what she represents. She's me. She's you. She's everything we survived through time. How could you even think of killing her?"
The Reflection tilted her head, the motion unnervingly mechanical. Her eyes, mirror images of Juno's own, bore into her. "Because she is the anchor. The tether. If she dies here, in this memory, it ends. You end. The timelines unravel, and everything you broke is finally set right."
Juno's jaw tightened, her voice rising with defiance. "You think you can fix things by destroying her? By destroying us? You're wrong. She's not just a child. She's everything I am, everything I've endured, everything I've learned. Killing her isn't fixing anything. It's erasing who we are."
The Reflection took a step closer, her blade lowering slightly but still menacing. "Do you even understand what you've done?" Her voice cracked, a rare slip of emotion breaking through her cold demeanor. "By killing yourself in that time, you shattered the rules. You broke the barriers that kept reality intact. And for what? Selene? Exos? Those fleeting connections? They don't justify the chaos you unleashed."
Juno's expression softened, but her resolve did not waver. "I didn't know," she admitted, her voice quieter but no less firm. "I didn't know killing myself would lead to this. But even if I did, I wouldn't regret it. I'd do it again to save them. To save anyone I cared about."
The Reflection's eyes narrowed, her grip on the Chronosword tightening. "You're selfish. Reckless. Do you even understand what's left of you now? You're the last stable version of Juno. The only one left with a timeline that hasn't collapsed entirely. And even now, you carry fragments of every other version—their powers, their mistakes, their failures. You are a walking paradox. A ticking time bomb."
Juno's lips quirked into a bitter smile. "Then why are you so afraid of me?"
The Reflection faltered, her silence speaking louder than any words. Behind her, Agredor's crystalline form loomed larger, his patience clearly wearing thin. He stepped forward, his voice a deep, resonant growl that reverberated through the shattered memory.
"Enough of this sentimentality," Agredor sneered. "Memories are nothing but chains. The past is a weight that drags you down, Keeper. I would think you'd understand that by now."
Juno turned to face him, her voice steady despite the fear gnawing at the edges of her resolve. "You're wrong. Memories aren't chains. They're reminders. Of who we were. Of what we've survived. Of what we can become."
Agredor's laughter was a harsh, grating sound. "Spare me your naive idealism. Memories are a prison. They trap you in what was, blinding you to what could be. I've seen the weight of your past, Timekeeper. The cultists who broke you. The streets of Aetherion that abandoned you. The scars you've hidden beneath your clever words and defiance. And yet, you cling to these fragments like they're salvation. Pathetic."
Juno's gaze didn't waver. "Maybe I am pathetic," she said softly. "Maybe I've made mistakes. But those mistakes are mine. That pain, those scars, they're mine too. They've shaped me. Made me who I am. And I'll be damned if I let anyone—even myself—erase that."
The Reflection's voice cut through the tension like a blade. "Why? Why accept it? Why not hate it? You've been dealt nothing but cruelty and hardship. Why not reject it? Fight against it? Destroy it?"
Juno turned to her, her expression softer now, almost pitying. "Because it's who I am. It's who we are. Yes, we've suffered. Yes, the world has been cruel. But we're still here. We're still standing. And that's worth something."
The Reflection's hands trembled, her Chronosword faltering slightly. "You're irrational," she hissed. "Foolish. Weak."
Juno shook her head. "No. I'm compassionate. I care. That's what makes me strong. Despite everything, I chose to care. About Selene. About Exos. About this child. And I'll never regret everything, about how I endured, escaped, hurt, roamed the streets of Aetherion, and about everything." She glanced down at the unconscious younger version of herself, her expression softening. "About myself."
The Reflection's voice cracked again, her composure unraveling. "You... care? After everything? After what they did to us? After what the world took from us?"
"Yes," Juno said simply. "Because caring is what kept me alive. It's why I drew. Why I painted. Why I created. In a world that tried to tear me apart, I chose to build something. Even if it was just for myself."
The Reflection's blade lowered completely, her expression a mix of anger, confusion, and something that looked almost like sorrow. "I don't understand you," she whispered. "I've never understood you."
Before Juno could respond, Agredor moved. With a sudden burst of speed, he lunged toward the unconscious child, his crystalline claws glowing with destructive energy.
"Enough!" he roared. "If you won't do what must be done, I will."
Time seemed to slow as Juno threw herself forward, placing her body between Agredor and the child. The force of his attack sent a shockwave through the memory, shattering the remaining fragments of the cathedral. Juno's knees buckled, but she held her ground, shielding the child with her own body.
Agredor loomed over her, his expression twisted with fury. "You are a fool, Timekeeper. You cling to a broken past, blind to the ruin it will bring. This child is nothing but a shadow. A relic. Let her go."
Juno lifted her head, her voice steady despite the pain coursing through her body. "She's not a shadow. She's not a relic. She's me. And I won't let you touch her."
The air between the three figures felt heavier than before, thick with words unspoken, memories half-forgotten, and intentions painfully clear. Agredor loomed closer, his jagged, crystalline form pulsating with the warped energy of the Void, his presence tainting the cathedral's atmosphere. The reflection—Juno's bitter shadow—stood tense, as if she were a coil ready to snap.
"Why are you still trying?" the reflection hissed. Her voice, laced with both derision and exhaustion, echoed sharply in the ruins. "You can't win. You never could. Just give up. You're only prolonging the inevitable."
Juno, clutching the unconscious child close, let out a shallow breath, her gaze unwavering despite the pain wracking her body. Her leg throbbed from earlier, and her arms were trembling from the weight of the child she was so desperate to protect. Yet she stood there, defiant, her mind racing.
"Give up?" Juno's voice was quiet at first, but it carried a dangerous edge. "I've already given up before. On myself, on my future, on the world. But not now. Not anymore."
Agredor's distorted laugh interrupted her. It was jagged and sharp, like shards of glass scraping against stone. His crystalline claws flexed, glowing with ominous violet light.
"Memories," he growled, his voice a cacophony of thousands of voices layered together. "Do you humans even understand how vile they are? Sentience is a curse. Memories are shackles, binding you to pain, regret, and foolishness. You cling to them like they're treasures when they're nothing but chains."
He stepped forward, his form glinting like a fractured nightmare. "I was born from the void, a creature of nothingness and freedom. And yet, the cursed essence of sentience clung to me like a parasite. I hate your memories, your ceaseless emotions, your obsession with holding onto the past. They're... disgusting."
Juno listened, and for a moment, something shifted in her expression. It wasn't fear or anger—it was realization. A quiet epiphany that struck her like the softest, yet most devastating, blow.
"You hate memories because you don't understand them," she murmured, her voice calm, yet deliberate. Her hazel-green eyes glinted with an almost unsettling clarity as she stared down Agredor. "You hate that we cling to them, that we suffer through them, but... isn't it funny?"
"Funny?" Agredor's voice thundered with fury. "You mock me?"
"No," Juno said, tilting her head. "I pity you."
The reflection's eyes narrowed, confusion flashing briefly across her face. Agredor, however, was livid.
"You think I envy you, mortal?" he roared.
"Yes," Juno replied simply. "Because you don't just hate memories—you're jealous of them. Of us. Of how, despite the pain, we have the bittersweet ones too. The moments worth cherishing. The love. The laughter. All the things you can't have, because you've only ever existed in emptiness."
Agredor let out a guttural scream, his rage manifesting as a violent burst of void energy that cracked the very walls of the cathedral. The skies above twisted further, the fissures widening like the shattered glass of a kaleidoscope.
"Enough!" he bellowed. "I'll silence you and your insipid words!"
He lunged toward Juno with devastating speed, his crystalline claws aiming straight for her heart. The reflection moved instantly, her own blade of mirrored light manifesting in her hands as she shouted, "Stop, you fool! If you kill her—"
But Agredor was beyond reasoning, his fury driving him forward. Juno barely managed to twist away, shielding the child in her arms as she staggered. Agredor's claws narrowly missed her, carving deep gouges into the ground instead.
Juno's mind raced. Despite the danger, she couldn't help but smile faintly as everything clicked into place.
"You cannot kill me, after finally seeing this opportunity with the child. You're trapped," she said, her voice carrying a strange mix of triumph and sorrow. "Both of you. You think I'm the one stuck in this loop, but I finally see it—you're just as trapped as I am with the loop of my every death."
"No. You're bluffing. W-What nonsense are you spouting?" the reflection snapped, her blade flashing as she deflected another of Agredor's wild strikes.
"This is my headspace," Juno continued, her voice growing steadier despite the chaos around her. "My memories. My pain. My mistakes. Everything here is tied to me—and yet, you're both stuck here too. Agredor, you can't escape because you're feeding on my memories. And you—" she turned her gaze to the reflection, "—you're nothing but the void of my life. The bitterness I've carried for years. That's why you can't leave either."
Agredor let out another enraged roar, but Juno's words were like a knife, cutting through the madness.
"And the irony?" Juno laughed bitterly. "The loop's starting place is not in some grand battle or at the end of some tragedy of my memories. It started in the simplest place—the classroom of my school. I finally remember that it's the moment I began to draw. The moment I remembered what it felt like to create something, to care about something. That's where all of this began. And I'll make sure that's where it'll all end."
The reflection's eyes widened, and for the first time, she hesitated.
Agredor, however, refused to stop. His claws slashed toward the child in Juno's arms, his violet energy crackling with destructive intent. The reflection moved at the same time, her blade aimed at the same target.
Juno reacted on instinct.
"NO!"
She threw herself in front of the child, her back arching as both attacks struck her simultaneously. The pain was immediate and all-consuming, ripping through her body like fire and ice colliding. Blood splattered across the ground, staining the broken tiles of the cathedral.
The reflection froze, her expression unreadable, while Agredor let out a triumphant laugh.
Juno, trembling and barely able to stand, looked down at the child in her arms. The small figure stirred, their eyes fluttering open for the first time.
"It's okay," Juno whispered, her voice weak but steady. "You're safe now."
The child looked up at her, confused but calm, as if they recognized her.
Juno smiled faintly, her vision blurring.
And then, everything went dark.
---
When Juno's eyes opened again, she was sitting in her classroom. The sunlight streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow over the familiar scene. Maeve was beside her, chattering about something, while the twins were bickering in the background. The teacher's voice droned on, and everything felt... normal. But the hollow pain of her body lingered for a few seconds yet Juno's lips curled into a small, bittersweet smile.
It was the loop. Again. As expected.
But this time, she wasn't afraid.
She remembers the face of the child before the loop, her younger self that was buried deep in her memories. "Thank you, Juno. For getting so far."
Juno then stared at the pencil lying on her desk. Her hands trembled as she reached out and grasped it, the weight of the mundane object grounding her as a whirlwind of memories surged through her mind. Every rewind, every death, every agonizing moment flickered like a reel of film, pausing on one stark realization. And in the back of her head, was the repeating thought of the repeated words;
It started when I killed myself.
Her heart raced as fragments of clarity began to surface. Her mind replayed the memory: the sword piercing her chest, the first sharp pain, the despair of it all to rewind and save Selene and Exos from the chimera of the crystalline castle. And now, this classroom—a mundane, unassuming place—felt like the key. Maeve, the twins, the classroom, and then the art studio... and then... Her pulse quickened as she understood the subconscious clue that was there all along.
"I get it," she whispered to herself. "I finally get it."
Juno stood up abruptly, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. Everyone in the room turned to look at her, their faces frozen in confusion.
"Juno?" Maeve asked, her voice tinged with concern.
Juno ignored her, her hazel-green eyes scanning the room as if searching for hidden specters. Then, gripping the pencil tightly in her hand, she shouted, "I know you're listening! Both of you! Stop hiding and show yourselves!"
The room fell silent. Her classmates exchanged bewildered glances, some leaning away from her in alarm. The teacher stopped mid-sentence, staring at Juno with wide eyes.
Juno, however, didn't care. She stood her ground, her bloodied lips curling into a defiant smile. She was done playing by their rules.
And then, it happened.
The first head exploded with a wet, sickening pop. Gore splattered across the walls, the desk, and Juno herself. Maeve's head followed, her body slumping forward onto the desk in a grotesque heap. One by one, the twins and the rest of the class fell, their skulls rupturing like balloons filled with blood.
Juno screamed, staggering back as the carnage unfolded around her. Her breathing came in short, shallow gasps, her heart pounding in her chest. But then, through the haze of horror, a single thought emerged.
They're desperate. They're trying to break me.
She steadied herself, wiping blood from her face with the back of her hand. Her school uniform and skirt were soaked, the metallic stench of death clinging to her. But instead of faltering, her resolve only grew stronger.
The double doors at the front and back of the classroom creaked open simultaneously. From one stepped Agredor, his towering, void form radiating rage. From the other emerged the reflection, her hood drawn low, but her glimmering eyes betrayed her seething fury.
The two entities stood on opposite ends of the room, their anger palpable, the air vibrating with their intensity.
Juno smirked, blood streaking her teeth. "You showed up. You're both pathetic, you know that? I was right all along. You underestimated me."
"Enough!" Agredor's voice thundered, the classroom shaking under its weight. "I'm tired of your insolence, mortal. You will end this charade now, or I'll—"
"You're tired?" Juno interrupted, her tone sharp and mocking. "Imagine how tired I am! Dying, over and over again, playing this ridiculous game you trapped me in." Her smile widened, a glint of defiance in her eyes. "But here's the thing—now I'm not afraid to die anymore than ever before."
She held up the pencil, its simple wooden frame gleaming under the pale light. Both Agredor and the reflection froze, their expressions shifting.
"Wait... No," the reflection hissed, her voice a low, dangerous whisper. "Don't you dare."
"Oh, I dare." Juno pointed the pencil toward her chest, right over her heart, mimicking the exact motion she had made with the sword the first time she ended her own life.
The reflection's eyes widened as she pieced it together. "You'll cause the shattered deaths," she warned, her voice tinged with something close to fear.
"The shattered death?"
"Yes! Every timeline, every thread—you'll destroy yourself and everything tied to you!"
Juno's brow furrowed, "Destroy myself?" she echoed, her voice soft. Then, with a wry smile, she added, "Good. Maybe that's the only way to end this nightmare for good."
"You're not ending things, you're changing things for what we don't know what might happen!"
"That's change is. That's life. Perhaps..."
"What do you mean?"
"I am the Shattered Deaths. I am the Timekeeper."
And the chilling silence came after where the short seconds seemingly became millenia.
The reflection will speak but Agredor's form suddenly surged forward, his claws extending as he bellowed, "Stop her!"
But Juno only gripped the pencil tighter, her voice softening as she whispered to herself, "Maeve, the twins... this classroom, then the cafe... It was all there, wasn't it? The answer was right in front of me all along. That's when the first rewind happened. That's when it all started. The loop... the memories..."
She looked up at the reflection and Agredor, her smile turning almost serene. "You lose."
And before they could reach her, she plunged the pencil into her chest.
Pain exploded through her body, searing and sharp, as if her very soul was being torn apart. Light erupted from the wound, blinding and all-consuming, as the fabric of reality began to crack and fracture. The classroom warped and glitched, pieces of it disintegrating into void-like shards.
Juno's vision blurred, her consciousness slipping away as the world around her crumbled.
---
It was death.
Again.
But it's not darkness.
It's light.
It's peaceful. Quiet. Empty.
A different kind of white all over.
The memories came flooding.
The sights, the voices and sounds, the people, flashing in their overwhelming amounts.
Fragmented memories all at once.
Like a rainbow at the end of the rain.
And the rain pours over the soil.
As the storm causes the growth.
The plant grew and reached the skies.
But the skies were vast.
Can you really touch the sky?
Can you really reach everything?
Can you forget everything?
Can you disregard your memories?
Can you kill what made you who you are?
Can you see inside of yourself?
And realize...
That life is meaningless.
In every lives. In every deaths.
In every beginnings. In every endings.
In each impermanence.
What makes life worth living?
Is it the memories?
The compassion?
The objective?
What is the answer?
Would there really be an answer?
Tell me reader, what's in your life that matters?
Do you realize it now?
That life is what we make of it.
But our time is running short.
As limited as it is of the impermanence of everything.
As it's an illusion to every meanings.
It was not just the darkness.
Not just the light, nor the black and white.
Dive further. Deeper.
Beyond of death.
And see the beauty of everything.
But it's all up for you to decide.
Not how Juno acted.
Not how people see you.
Not how you define yourself.
Not of everything you can think of.
Feel it. The surge of colors and everything.
Feel. Until we meet again in the shattered deaths.
Juno Luminara.
Your greatness against your memories is immeasurable.
I had never doubted you to be lone one to defy fate.
And I will never regret choosing you.
But I know you won't make sense of this.
Maybe you will. Soon enough.
Until we meet again in the shattered deaths.
---
A warm feeling was felt. She opened her eyes again, and she was surrounded by crystalline light. The world was vast and endless, its shimmering surfaces reflecting fragments of her memories. She staggered to her feet, the light still emanating faintly from her chest.
In front of her stood Agredor, his furious gaze locked onto her. The crystalline world around them seemed to tremble under his wrath.
But Juno didn't care.
Because around them, she saw them—Selene and Exos. Still in their state from before.
Her lips curled into a soft, relieved smile.
Finally, she was back.