NOVEL NEXT Chapter 433
After the story ended, when I stood up to leave the house.
Yuka opened her mouth.
“Let’s look together.”
“Huh?”
“You heard my answer.”
“…Is that okay?”
“Why? Do you think it’s a problem if we’re searching without a request?”
Could it be a problem? I’m not sure. Honestly, I wasn’t really leading this on my own; I was more like someone being pulled along by requests from that side.
“It should be fine. It would be weirder if we came across something and didn’t respond at all.”
Thinking about it, that was true.
Besides, I was already planning to find and eliminate the Asura ahead of time.
Since I never had any preconceived notions of rules from the start, it was pretty funny to be asking now.
“Thanks.”
“Thanks, I guess.”
Yuka replied, looking at me like something was a bit off.
“If we take too long to find it, people will die.”
I nodded my head.
“So… um.”
Yuka hesitated for a moment and said.
“Couldn’t you ask that god who grants you power? If you ask directly, you could get some kind of answer, right?”
“…”
I shook my head.
I had thought about it too. I had even asked before.
“What kind of being are you to ask such questions?”
And the response I got was an interesting question in return.
‘She’ would often remark how intriguing it was that my soul dwelled within my body. It was as if she found it strange that I lived my life thinking and speaking this way.
Even though it wasn’t said directly, reflecting on the questions ‘she’ asked me, the atmosphere leaned towards that overall sentiment.
And that must be the nature of the favor that ‘she’ held for me.
And for that reason, it didn’t answer easily.
“It doesn’t give proper answers unless it wants to.”
That existence was fundamentally very fickle and acted on its own whims. Even if I were to speak first, it wouldn’t always respond right away.
It was easy to think that it would be watching me each time I cut my wrist, each time I made a sword out of blood.
However, just because I spoke first didn’t guarantee an immediate answer. It was as if it held its breath, waiting for the moment it desired— appearing to me and speaking when I let blood touch the summoning circle on my wrist.
And that was usually when I was in some danger, meaning when I suffered a critical wound or was in intense pain. When I was covered in blood.
Sometimes, tales of yōkai follow certain rules in their movements, or gods act in anger or joy based on certain rules, but at least with ‘her’, that wasn’t the case.
Like a puppeteer crafting a story behind the scenes, it seemed she wanted to manipulate my emotions and actions as she pleased.
“So, are you saying that the god answered today because it wanted to?”
“Probably.”
In the Cthulhu Mythos, most gods are said to have names that cannot be pronounced by human mouths. It’s probably a setting meant to make the story feel more realistic. If readers thought they were chanting spells and no divine appearances followed, they’d lose interest.
However, it is also said there are gods whose names can be pronounced by humans. And, coincidentally summoning such a god is possible as well.
This instance must have been one of those situations.
And it seemed that made ‘her’ feel quite good. After all, ‘she’ had answered my question.
If not, it could mean that my tragedy was imminent.
“…”
“You don’t seem very surprised.”
When I asked Yuka, who was lost in thought, she shrugged her shoulders.
“It’s not just your god. There are gods in the old books that don’t respond even when you offer what they desire and pray. If they are beings with emotions, it cannot be helped.”
Is that how gods feel too, like people who can’t let go of anger or sadness?
No matter how many apologies they receive, there are cases where anger doesn’t dissipate, where sincerity is doubted, or where they merely pretend not to accept out of spite.
We both sigh deeply at the same time.
Koko, who was watching us from the side, tilted her head.
*
People say hardships age a person easily.
No matter how much the color of hair doesn’t change easily, the body deteriorates, and the face gets wrinkled. The corners of the eyes droop, and tired expressions become apparent.
However, Kagami was different.
Kagami stayed the same, even as time passed. It wasn’t just that she looked young and beautiful in my eyes. Even if one were to strip away my subjectivity, Kagami was a person so pretty that others would be jealous.
I had seen Kagami grow. In fact, if you really think about it, we grew up together like sisters. Kagami was too young to have given birth to me, but she did.
“Kotone, Koko!”
Even though I had sent a message saying I would be a little late to school, Kagami somehow was waiting at the entrance for me.
Her face looking at me lit up. That smiling face, even now that she had completely matured into an adult, still looked like that of a child.
When others were middle school and high school students, Kagami smiled like that when she looked at me.
“…”
So, I worry.
The more I tell Kagami my story. The more I get entangled in certain events. That fact itself becomes a blade, cutting through Kagami’s heart.
“…Kotone?”
Kagami waved her hand at me while smiling, though my face surely wasn’t bright enough.
Kagami quickly noticed my emotions.
“What happened at school?”
Gently holding my shoulders with both hands, Kagami asked.
With Kagami, in the end, I could hide nothing.
No matter what thoughts I had, no matter what worries consumed me, Kagami always caught on.
Kagami, who was much taller than me, bent down to meet my eyes. Even when we were both completely young, Kagami always talked to me like this.
“No, it’s not that something happened at school.”
She quickly understood what I was saying.
Kagami shut her mouth.
She knows that I don’t like talking about those things.
She might want to hear it. No matter how horrific the story might be, she would want to know what happened to her daughter.
Kagami would surely burst into tears, holding me tightly and not letting go for a long time.
“…”
Should I speak honestly?
I want to pour everything out.
However, that story about the ‘god’ is surely closely connected to Kagami as well.
If she hears it, Kagami will suffer again.
For something she didn’t even do.
I was a child born from an unwanted pregnancy. Yet, Kagami had raised me with all her might.
In the end, neither of us could say a word.
Kagami lifted her body and hugged me tightly.
It was warm. The kind of warmth that calmed my heart.
“Uuuh?”
Koko, who was next to us, tilted her head, and Kagami opened one arm. Koko came over and hugged both of us tightly. Kagami wrapped her arms around us, pulling us both into her embrace with great force.
If only—
If only I hadn’t known anything at all.
If only I had come into this world without any memories of that other world. If I had come into this world without being able to make any judgments, just like a child.
…
No, because I can think like this, Kagami could at least feel a bit less stress.
If I truly were an oblivious child, I’m sure our relationship would have become strained.
…
Or if I hadn’t come into this world at all.
I didn’t really want to think such things, but still.
Still, wouldn’t Kagami’s life have been a little brighter?
Since childhood, that thought I could never rid myself of kept resurfacing time and time again, even now as time flowed.
“Kotone.”
“…Yes.”
“Shall we head inside soon? Let’s wash up and go to bed early tonight.”
“Okay.”
I nodded my head at Kagami’s words.
We entered the house.
As Kagami said, we washed up early. Then we gathered in one room, lying together on one bed.
Kagami’s embrace was always warm.
So warm that it felt scary to step outside.
*
If I spoke directly to Miura, they would doubt my identity once more, but it seems when Yuka talks, the case feels different.
“I know the patterns to some extent myself. …Though it’s really a somewhat meaningless story, we don’t completely ignore warnings.”
“Is that so?”
After hearing about the connection between the murder case and the yōkai from ‘her’, I shared the information with Yuka, and it seems she passed it on to that side.
“Besides, I managed to phrase it differently. That murder case, it’s one they’ve been paying attention to. After all, it was a cannibalism incident.”
I hadn’t heard stories like that. I had just read an article about a “serial murder.”
Certainly, it feels like there have been more articles about it lately. By the time I could read those articles, it must have been a well-known case.
…That means there was a reason that being spoke to me.
“Don’t worry too much. We should be able to find it soon.”
“Okay.”
Still, those words from Yuka gave me a sense of hope.