I Became the Academy’s Weakest Strategist

How should one react when an unfamiliar person approaches to greet you?
Ah, let me rephrase that.
Not entirely unfamiliar, but someone whose face you vaguely recognize.
Someone you’ve merely glimpsed in passing before, prompting a fleeting “Oh, that person…” when recalling them later on.

For those naturally outgoing and fond of socializing, they would likely rise immediately, grasp the extended hand in a firm shake, exchange introductions, share interests and goals, swiftly cementing a new friendship.
That would be the typical route.

However, I was once a grad student.
Spending my days poring over dissertations and experiment results in the lab had already thoroughly deprived me of normal social graces.
While other TAs and professors had forcibly instilled some social conditioning in me, that only applied when I was wearing a mask, so to speak.
Currently, my unmasked, genuine self was on full display.
In other words, I am an awkward loner.

So what recourse would an awkward loner have in this situation?
The answer is:

“Did you have some business with Lord Rommel?”
My companion intervenes on my behalf.
Louis raises a pointing finger towards the approaching male, his voice raised assertively.
Well done, Louis.
Boldly holding his head high like a cat with raised hackles, challenging someone taller – admirable spirit.
All good, except…
Why is he gesturing in that odd direction?

Louis’s pointed finger indicated a crudely split wooden wall.
His oversized witch’s hat obstructing his vision, Louis had mistakenly challenged the wrong target entirely.
Ah, I had pushed his hat down earlier without releasing it.
My apologies, Louis.
I’ve released it now, so feel free to properly raise your voice.

“Kack kack…! You released me quite swiftly…!”
“Humans are naturally wired for their brain neurons to rapidly transmit signals during sudden situations. In my case, with so much happening today, my brain froze up momentarily, Louis.”
“What nonsensical babbling is this?! Explain yourself clearly!”
“A mere child need not understand.”
“Gyaaaah!”

Having redirected his target towards me, Louis lunged, baring his fangs as he clamped down on my hand.
He then began grinding his jaws, though his kitten-like bites posed no actual threat.
Drool soon dribbled from the corners of Louis’s mouth as he refused to release his grip.
It seemed my right hand had been thoroughly claimed and sealed – by my self-professed ‘great mage’ friend, no less.

“Ahaha! You two certainly have an entertaining dynamic.”
Clutching his sides as he watched our antics, the newcomer broke into raucous laughter.
Deep azure hair reminiscent of the ocean depths, paired with vibrant blue eyes.
At his hip hung an azure blade festooned with gemstones that seemed to beckon: “Gaze upon me!”
His crisp uniform and chiseled features radiated an unmistakable air of….popularity.

This guy was undoubtedly one of the ‘cool kids’, I realized instantly.

“The name’s Leonardo Kurz, though sadly, I’m merely a sword-swinging failure stuck in the remedial class.”
“Gmrphhh mrrggllll…!”
Amid his vehement mumbling, something soft and squishy writhed between Louis’s tightly clenched fangs.
As tempting as it was to yank it free, I refrained – that would likely result in my head being bitten instead of just my arm.
Louis, my arm’s starting to go numb here. Mind releasing me soon?
I’d hate to lose circulation and require an amputation, ending up like that hook-handed pirate from that fabled ‘Pixy’ tale.

“Your purpose?”
Resting his chin on his hand, the newcomer seemed deep in contemplation before gracing me with a smile as he took the adjacent seat.
“No real purpose, just found it rather shocking to see a classmate openly defy a professor like that.”

“It was fairly shocking from multiple perspectives.”

Even I could admit that my actions today had been rather startling.
What student would so brazenly challenge a professor’s teachings by declaring: “Your theory is wrong!” right to their face?
I may well have been the first in remedial class history to do so.

“Ahaha, truth be told, I never much cared for that old professor’s fatalistic drivel myself. Hearing him spout such nonsense throughout the lessons grated on me. Though he is the sole instructor still deigning to teach our remedial magic class.”

Ah, now that he mentioned it…
That portly professor was the only one still bothering to provide magic lessons for the remedial group.
Though I suspected he would likely foist that duty onto his TA from the next session onwards.
Poor TA – I knew that struggle well enough myself.
Being shoved into class as the professor’s proxy, forced to field all manner of questions from students.
Having spent years toiling under various professors, I could certainly empathize.

“But you really showed that old fool his place today. And quite impressively too, I might add.”
The newcomer mimed a boxer’s skillful combination, slicing the air with deft jabs.
“So what brings yee to Lord Rommel’s company, eh?”

Louis narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Kurz, seemingly undeterred by still clamping my arm in his jaws.
Tenacious little imp, refusing to release his iron grip.
This obstinacy boded well – unwavering stubbornness was a crucial trait for anyone aspiring to greatness.
Louis undoubtedly possessed that tenacious spirit.

“Well, isn’t it only natural to want to befriend someone who voices the very thoughts you wished to express yourself?”
Kurz shrugged nonchalantly in response to Louis’s challenge.
A new friend?
Excellent, as Louis had been my sole companion since arriving at Montegro Academy.
Most remedial students tended to be somewhat…eccentric, whether due to personality quirks or familial circumstances.
Case in point: the self-styled ‘great mage’ currently gnawing on my arm like a slab of lumber.
I wondered if offering him an insect jelly treat might loosen his vice-like grip.

Yet it was amidst such bizarre circumstances that Kurz had approached, proposing friendship.

“So, Griff Rommel – the ill-fated student who vanquished the professor today.”
“Puhahaha! You’re clearly missing a few screws yourself!”
“Seems we’re both a bit lacking in that regard.”

Now that he mentioned it, Kurz too hailed from the remedial class.
Which meant this Leonardo Kurz likely harbored his own eccentricities as well.
Best to cultivate external amity slowly while keeping internal reservations for now.
In this world, the blindsided fool tended to suffer.

“So Rommel, want to hit the cafeteria to celebrate our new friendship? My treat, of course.”
I love you already.
Feel free to blindside me today, at least.

“Let’s go.”
“Excellent, but…”
“But…?”
“When is he planning to release you?”
Ah, Louis?
No need to worry, he and I are practically one entity now.
Though my right arm was starting to tingle with numbness, so perhaps I should coax him into releasing it.

“Louis.”
“Yeff, whu ish ith?”
“I won’t squish your hat, so could you let this go?”
“Rwealleh?”
“I’ll treat you to Kurz.”
“Fphine.”

Amidst Kurz’s confused interjection, Louis obediently released me at last.
Finally, my right hand tasted sweet freedom once more.

“Then let’s get going.”

“Shure thing!”
“I’m starting to feel genuinely unsettled here…”

Leaving Kurz’s perturbed mumbling behind, Louis and I, joined by my newly minted best friend, headed towards the cafeteria.

“…Eat slowly, my friends.”
“If you insist?”
“A great mage’s stomach is bottomless!”
“I said, eat slowly.”

On a brilliantly sunny day, Louis and I sat at a wooden table, leisurely consuming our cafeteria purchases.
Since I wasn’t footing the bill, I had indulged in ordering quite freely.
And Louis, naturally, had followed suit by piling his own tray high.
Though Louis, being from a wealthy family, why did he seem to be eating even more voraciously than usual?
And Kurz’s expression was growing increasingly grave – perhaps it was merely indigestion plaguing him?

“Ah, that reminds me, friends. Did you hear about the new rule added for the upcoming Inter-Class Tournament?”
“That matter?”
“I have indeed heard tell…”

Kurz abruptly broached the topic of the tournament, likely aiming to steer our gluttonous indulgence into more substantive conversation waters.
Well, continuing to simply accept his generous treat did seem rather impolite, so I would humor his intent.

“Our radiant princess…”
“Kuhah…! Kuhuk…!”
“Kughuk kughuk…!”
“…”

The mere mention of the princess caused Louis and me to simultaneously choke, sputtering like landed fish.
While understandable for me, I wondered what circumstances prompted such a reaction from Louis.

“To resume – our radiant princess has added an individual championship component to the Inter-Class Tournament rules.”
“I heard as much from Louis.”
“Indeed, I informed you earlier…”
“Then we’re already aware of the details.”

Clapping his hands together, Kurz finally broached the crux of his discussion.
“So, my proposal is this: why don’t we aim to claim that individual championship for ourselves this year?”
“…”
“…Are you quite serious?”

Kurz’s words instantly froze the atmosphere, his audacious suggestion carrying immense weight – too immense for me to lightly acknowledge.
Louis and I could only gape in stunned silence, our food forgotten, as Kurz met our stares with solemn determination.

“I am utterly serious, my friends.”
“I see…”
“…While admirable for a man to dream big…still…”

Louis and I exchanged glances, his expression rapidly shifting to one of consternation.
My own features likely mirrored his, for as I had mentioned previously:
The individual championships were undoubtedly destined to be monopolized by the elite knights and mages of the advanced classes.
A long-established custom of the upper echelons praising and promoting their own.
Exclaiming “You are peerless!” “No, you are peerless!” as they extolled each other’s prowess, hoarding all accolades and glory.

Veritable geniuses among geniuses.
The entire advanced class roster comprised the quintessential prodigies of Montegro Academy, talents counted among the finest.
What could mere remedial rejects possibly achieve against such peerless geniuses?

“I had dismissed the notion myself initially. But after witnessing you, Rommel, my perspective shifted.”
“Me?”
“Indeed, you urged us to view the world differently, to shatter preconceived notions.”
“That’s…true, but…”
“Well then, could we not also shatter the ingrained assumption that tournament champions must always be geniuses?”

He had pinpointed my flaw immediately.
This was clearly Kurz’s particular brand of insanity.

“So why don’t we endeavor to create a miracle for ourselves?”
Leonardo Kurz.
This one was completely off his rocker.
And quite seriously so, at that.