I Became the Academy’s Kibitz Villain

Saturday.

On my way home from work, I purchased the ‘spicy marinated chicken’ as directed on my smartphone.

[Fried chicken is forbidden.]

They denied me fried chicken.

When I inquired if it was a matter of personal taste, they explained that while fried chicken originated from America, marinated chicken was a special creation of ours, so it was acceptable.

This world was truly peculiar.

A world where marinated chicken was cheaper than fried chicken.

Everything felt unbelievably chaotic, but I had no choice but to navigate this strange world.

During the weekdays, I served as a librarian.

However, when the weekend rolled around, I transformed into the Goblin, an influential member of the Secret Society.

Ding-dong.

I pressed the doorbell, patiently waiting in front of the entrance.

I placed my Taeguk Watch on the electronic panel to identify myself, eagerly anticipating the door’s response.

“……”

No response. The door remained shut.

Even though the chicken in my hand, inside the bag, seemed to be getting cold, the person inside who should open the door didn’t do so.

Shouldn’t I just open the door and go inside?

But this was not my house.

Since it wasn’t my house, all I could do was wait outside silently.

Until the woman inside opened the door.

[Ah, did you bring the marinated chicken?]

“I got the one with bones.”

[Great. And what about the beer?]

I could hear footsteps approaching from inside.

It sounded like someone dragging their slippers, and then the door opened.

“Hello, honey?”

The woman who opened the door had red hair and was a foreigner.

“You did well bringing what I asked for. Please come in.”

“Excuse me.”

I quickly closed the front door and entered.

“Is this our first meeting in person to talk?”

“Yes. Even from a distance, I could tell, but you have a very balanced appearance… Do-”

“Do Ji-Hwan.”

“…Yes, yes. I understand. You’re very cautious. Got it. Mr. Do Ji-Hwan.”

The woman, who was about to call me Goblin, took the marinated chicken from me-

And suddenly.

She placed it directly in the refrigerator.

I couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread as she stored it away while it was still warm, without allowing it to cool first.

“Marinated chicken is most delicious when eaten in the morning.”

“…I believe it’s a bit excessive to immediately put it in the fridge without taking a bite.”

“Are we going to eat it together now, or no?”

“You have a point.”

I brought the chicken, but not for us to share a meal.

It was just a friendly gesture, bringing food to a friend’s house to avoid unwanted attention.

“Have you eaten? Can I cook something for you? Maybe a delicious bowl of soup and rice?”

“Marinated chicken?”

“Don’t be silly.”

“Just kidding. I don’t have any plans for dinner.”

I retrieved a protein bar from my pocket.

“I prefer not to eat before a mission. Begin, Brewer.”

“Understood.”

To those observing, she appeared as a foreigner with crimson locks. However, within the organization, she was known by her alias and codename, ‘Brewer’.

Having been operating undercover on Sejong Island for an extended period, she served as a liaison between me and the organization, acting as a local agent.

“I appreciate your commitment to maintaining your physical well-being. Now, let us commence the mission.”

When Brewer lightly clasped her hands together, the talismans scattered throughout the wall started to flicker.

“…The barrier is in place. It will last for 20 minutes, so I’ll swiftly deliver and complete it.”

Brewer handed me a stack of documents, and I accepted them, taking a seat on the sofa.

It was a handwritten piece, crafted from start to finish.

An analog item, untouched by electronic or computer data, that couldn’t be intercepted anywhere.

“Devil’s seed, huh.”

“Yeah. Did you catch a glimpse of it when you were dealing with the Red Scarf?”

“I didn’t witness it directly. The President’s dogs took care of it.”

“Seriously? It looks like this. Right here.”

Beneath the paper, the devil’s seed was depicted as if it were a painting inspired by the Western still-life style.

Thanks to the drawing, it was clear how the devil’s seed appeared. It seemed to be meticulously copied from a reference photo.

“It resembles a starfish, doesn’t it?”

“It’s not just a starfish; it’s a starfish with long legs. The actual size is about that of a 500-won coin. The tentacle legs are all of varying lengths.”

“It would be difficult to locate if it is attached somewhere on the body with a 500-won coin.”

“It’s not a 10-won piece, is it?”

Regardless of where the devil’s seed was attached, a larger size meant a greater area of attack, making it easier to target.

Once the devil’s seed was attacked, the rampage would immediately cease.

“Is my task to find and destroy the facility that produces this?”

“You know more than I expected. Have you heard anything?”

“No, it’s just a guess.”

The issue was that ‘Sejong Island’ was where they researched, developed, and produced these devil’s seeds.

“It’s always darkest under the lamp.”

“That’s correct. Somewhere on Sejong Island, either underground or elsewhere, there is a research facility. This is where they would have developed and manufactured the devil’s seed. I am referring to the mysterious substance that corrupts superhumans and turns them into devils.”

“…I have a question.”

A question that gets to the heart of the matter.

“If the devil’s seed was created on Sejong Island, why is it given such a name?”

“Do you want to know why it’s not a yokai seed? Well, it’s simple. If we label it as a yokai seed, we have to view the yokai in our traditional culture as ‘evil spirits’.”

“…So it’s acceptable to consider the Western devil as malevolent?”

“It’s not just the West.”

Brewer shrugged, motioning in every direction.

“Does it truly not matter if anything from the East, apart from Korea, is seen as a devil or something? The views of those in power.”

“I don’t care about the origin of the name motif, but let’s avoid causing international problems unintentionally in the future.

“Well, considering how many things have already entered Korea, is it really feasible to turn them all into enemies?”

As night slowly approached, Brewer gestured towards the veranda.

“Plus, there’s that cross on Sejong Island.”

“…Unlike the mainland, isn’t the ‘Hellification’ over?”

“Do you anticipate the Goblin making a statement that could potentially create an international problem? Hehe. It’s long overdue. Have you perused the operation summary?”

“Without a doubt.”

Engaged in conversation, I carefully reviewed all the handwritten documents she had composed.

“As soon as the barrier is lifted, proceed.”

“Understood. Oh, hold on, wait just a moment!”

Brewer called out to me before removing the barrier.

“Perform that action, perform that action.”

“What are you referring to?”

“That action you depicted in front of the restaurant!”

“…Transformation?”

“Yes!”

Brewer’s eyes lit up like a child’s.

“Do you also say ‘transformation!’ when you simply transform?”

“It’s more like a release of magic than a transformation, but I don’t say ‘transformation’ when I simply do it.”

“So you only say that when you change into that Dodjirider form?”

“Are you interested in seeing it?”

“I can’t resist the real thing.”

Brewer gave me a thumbs-up.

“Go ahead, okay?”

“… I’ll do it to show that I trust you with our life-or-death mission from now on.”

“Amazing!”

Brewer moved away with her canned beer, and I unleashed my magic through my fingertips, conjuring a goblin mask.

“Do you realize that all of this is pointless?”

“Ah. It’s like I’ve been confronted with a harsh reality that I wasn’t aware of before.”

“Transformation is simply transformation. Shouting ‘transformation’ while transforming is just that. It’s like self-hypnosis, using the word ‘transformation’ to manifest your transformed self consistently.”

“It’s a bit… melancholic.”

Brewer played with her canned beer, her expression bitter, and I had to slightly adjust my position.

“It’s not something that happens daily. It’s not something that happens all the time. It’s only when you request it. Understand?”

“Oh. Ohh…?”

“So…”

Clang.

“Ah. Please wait a moment. Now that I have the leader’s permission, I feel it’s appropriate to share a secret of mine.”

“…A secret of a Goblin, with the leader’s approval?”

Brewer’s eyes began to sparkle.

“What kind of secret could it be…?”

“It’s a secret that only the leader and the highest-ranking officers are aware of. However, the leader has granted permission for Brewer, our trusted local helper, to be informed before the transformation takes place.”

“Oh, I see…!”

Brewer knelt down.

“……”

“What’s the matter?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Sniff. Really.”

Brewer suddenly burst into tears.

It was a strange sight seeing her cry and laugh at the same time, which made me feel a bit uneasy.

“Finding out the truth about the Goblin proves that the mission has a lot of faith in me. Sob, all the time I spent on Sejong Island as an outsider… wasn’t a waste.”

Brewer wiped her teary eyes with the back of her hand and flashed a radiant smile.

“Alright, I am willing to sacrifice my life to protect any secret. Even if I am faced with a knife at my throat, I won’t utter a word about the Goblin.”

“If you believe you are about to die, you can speak up.”

“What do you mean?”

“I admire your bravery, but losing someone who has provided vital information about my mission and has successfully infiltrated Sejong Island undetected for many years would be a significant loss to our cause. If you believe your life is threatened, do not hesitate to voice your concern.”

“You….”

Brewer’s face twisted into a wicked smile.

“It’s no wonder the leader and other executives hold you in such high regard. They say when you became an independent unit, ‘Doeol’ cried so hard that he even confronted the leader?”

“… That’s an old tale. Now, let’s talk about the transformation…”

I removed my coat.

“When I transform, everything I’m wearing vanishes.”

“… Huh?”

“Jewelry, Taegeuk Watch, even clothes. Everything.”

“…What happens when you undo the transformation?”

“They revert back to their original form.”

I gave Brewer my Taegeuk Watch.

“I’ll be leaving plenty of spare clothes here, so keep that in mind.”

“…Are you essentially making me your live-in girlfriend to avoid drawing attention?”

“If that’s how you want to see it.”

Tonight was Saturday night.

“…I have work on Tuesday. What will people think if I stay here for a few days?”

“Heh. Is this a marriage proposal?”

“You’ve chosen to support the Goblins, huh?”

“…Hehe. Fine. I suppose I can tolerate that much, considering I’ve become the sole supporter of an S-rank villain. It’s not so terrible.”

“Hmph.”

I removed all of my garments.

The only reason I kept my underwear on was to preserve some shred of dignity.

“You can take those off too. Why hold back when you clearly have no qualms about being shy?”

“Seeing me in these is like eye candy, but taking them off would be more like eye teasing.”

“I think it would still be eye candy…”

“Enough.”

I donned the mask.

As the Goblin’s mask settled on my face, a surge of immense magic power emanated from within me.

[This is transformation.]

“… It’s rather dull.”

My reflection in the mirror revealed the familiar sight of a gentlemanly Goblin adorned in a suit.

“So, are you going to proceed with it now…?”

[It’s more mortifying than stripping naked and wearing a mask.]

“Go ahead! I wish to witness it with my own eyes.”

[I’m fulfilling my promise, but please withhold your comments.]

I unfastened my belt.

[Transformation.]

Ready!

“Commencing execution.”

[… Don’t add comments at your discretion, Brewer.]

“I believe everything will be fine….”

[……Never mind.]

I gestured towards the veranda door.

[Brewer, open the door.]

Mission.

Start.