I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

While he was wandering around the store, Fu Er lit Bai Kai a cigarette, and the two of them smoked while chatting, attempting to get some useful information out of each other.

Fu Er wanted to know about Yibei, and Bai Kai wanted to know about urban legends that lurked in the area.

They both were cunning, but as they tried to weave information out of each other, they ended up chatting about their own matters instead.

Bai Kai, shameless as he is, talked about the women with extremely beautiful figures in his life, while Fu Er rambled about the dirty money he obtained from his business without shifting his face.

After several back-and-forth conversations, the floor was littered with scraps of moral integrity.

…

Examining the crystal bottle carefully, Yibei frowned. He could basically confirm that the contents of the bottle were the same liquid that seeped out of him whenever he transformed.

And if it can be used for sale in a ghost market, that means it must be a good thing, and if he could sell it every single day, it is a very good thing—no, it is the best!

I just don’t know if…

He silently cursed and glanced at the small labels on the various shelves around the store.

Fu Er only looks after the store. Technically, this was a self-service store, and customers would have to choose the items they wanted by themselves. Each item was given a brief introduction with the labels underneath them.

[Tuft of Hair: Able to withstand one to three curses, depending on quality; 300g of gold.]

[Spiritual Urn: Able to absorb one to five spells, depending on quality; 500g of gold.]

[Divine Armoured Horse (imitation): psychic item that increases speed; 950g gold; or items equivalent in value.]

…

Damn, you could probably find every solution to every problem in this store alone. awesome!

After reading through seven or eight labels, Yibei withdrew his gaze and glanced at the large crystal bottle again as he frowned.

In a single glance, the other goods can be bought using gold or other psychic items; only a few of them can be paid in money. What unsettled him was that all the other goods had short descriptions about them but not the giant crystal bottle of black liquid.

Did he misplace it? Or does he have no intention of selling it at all?

No. I have to ask if this thing is worth anything. This is important to me.

He carefully hauled the crystal bottle with both hands and walked towards Fu Er.

“Excuse me, what’s inside this bottle? This one isn’t labelled with anything.”

Fu Er and Bai Kai turned to see what was inside Yibei’s hands, and their expressions changed as the corners of their mouth began to twitch uncontrollably.

“Damn!” Bai Kai laughed. “I can’t believe you’re keeping something like this around! If you spill this, I’m afraid half of the tenants in the ghost market will come looking for a fight!”

“W-what?” Fu Er stuttered. “I-I gained fifty pounds recently! I can’t run for my life! I hired a clerk before this. Maybe he took it out from the back to sell to my customers, and… “

“Alright, I get it,” Bai Kai smiled sarcastically, walking towards his godson. “You’re great at doing business.”

…

Yibei had always thought that even if the black liquid had some value, it shouldn’t be too expensive or sought-after.

However, after seeing Fu Er’s and Bai Kai’s reactions, he couldn’t help but panic a little.

This liquid must be expensive and dangerous!

Bai Kai stopped in front of him and snatched the bottle away, placing it back on the shelf. He then turned back around and gave Fu Er a look, signalling for him to safeguard the bottle.

Fu Er nodded slightly, then wiped the sweat away from his forehead as he breathed a sigh of relief.

Seeing his relief, Yibei became even more confused and asked his godfather, “Uh, what’s in that bottle? You made that thing look like a bomb.”

“Because it is,” Bai Kai explained. “A gas bomb, if we’re being specific.”

I make gas bombs in my toilet all the time!

“The liquid is named Disaster,” Fu Er explained further, but before he could speak, Bai Kai interrupted him.

“You’re talking too much.”

Previously, Bai Kai had no intention of letting his godson know of the origin and use of such evil things. To him, he wouldn’t be exposed to such evil liquids for some time.

However, now that Yibei had found the bottle, he guessed that he would have to explain to avoid getting into trouble.

“That liquid is a filthy, psychic polymer. It is difficult to get rid of, and its only use is poison. Depending on its purity, its effects range from mild hallucinations to irreversible mental damage. Only psychics and urban legends that are evil incarnates would have access to such a thing.”

“Yes,” Fu Er nodded. “Despite how beautiful it is, it’s troublesome. Whoever gets involved with it becomes unlucky!”

Now, who the hell are you calling troublesome? Be careful of what comes out of your mouth!

“So… is this thing worth anything?”

“Not really, but it is dangerous,” Bai Kai frowned.

Not very valuable… 

He looked at the shelf expressionlessly. The crystal bottle, which seemed to shine beforehand, suddenly seemed fairly dull in his eyes.

“Yes, yes, its uses are too niche, and only a few customers look for them. The price basically fluctuates from 0.9 times to 1.2 times the value of gold.”

…?

Why is everything measured in gold? Is anything else worthless to you? But…

He subconsciously patted his pocket. There was still today’s Disaster Liquid in his pocket since he didn’t have time to hide it in the space above his bathroom ceiling.

He still had seven or eight pounds of this stuff at home, and now he couldn’t help but feel that it was time to lose some water weight.

…

Strange. Ever since we told him about the liquid, he can’t peel his eyes away from the jar. Bai Kai thought silently.

He pulled his godson aside and patted his shoulder, “Bei, don’t worry about it. The purpose of our visit today is much more important than that bottle.”

His godson’s face was expressionless as he glanced at him, seemingly lacking interest.

Just what is so special about that cheap bottle of liquid?

“Bei, you’ll be receiving your runes soon,” Bai Kai said in a deep voice. “After, you’ll be taking on your first mission. Do you know how high the mortality rate is when newly-born psychics take on their first mission?”

Seeing that his godfather was becoming serious, Yibei hurriedly peeled his eyes away from the bottle and looked into his eyes, shaking his head.

Bai Kai raised three fingers before dropping one of them, like a wilted flower: “31.4%. This means that almost one out of three people will die. For your safety, I plan to give you a few psychic items for self-defence before you go on your mission, such as…”

“Wait a minute!” Yibei interrupted upon hearing this as he remembered something. “I-I looked through the catalogue. I’ve already thought about what I want!”

“Bei… I only have a budget of a thousand grammes of gold. I might not be able to buy what you want! I have to take care of my face, my body, my connections; my daily expenses are off the roof.”

Fuck! This is the first time I have seen somebody talk about spending money themselves in such a fresh and refined way!

 

“I’m not a kid,” Yibei pouted. “I’m not going to ask for every item in the store.”

Can’t have it all. He silently cursed in his heart, turning around to look at the psychic item that resonated in his heart the most.

“I want those,” he said, pointing at the Divine Horse Armour and a stack of talismans on the shelf.

Oh? A speed-related psychic item? Bai Kai smiled, “You know just what to pick to win my heart.”

Perhaps it was because when he first chose his own runes, he was running for his life. Hence, he thought that there wasn’t anything shameful about wanting to run for your life, and he nodded.

However, seeing the combined price of the two items, he frowned.

The armour was 950 grammes of gold, while the talismans were 51g. Exactly 1001g…

Bai Kai twitched his lips and said, “Ah, Bei, this talisman is just like a smoke bomb. It’s pretty useless, so-”

“No! I want it, and I want it now!”

“Fine! Buy it, then! Buy it all! And add in the lightning talisman as well—smoke bombs should be paired with flash bombs!”

Ah, just like a woman. Oh, my godson…

This was Yibei’s tried-and-tested method of getting Bai Kai to buy whatever he wanted. He shrugged and picked up a stack of talismans.

It might be shameless, but shame is temporary. Might as well bite the bullet!

…

Meanwhile, in a dilapidated mansion on the outskirts of Huacheng.

Jiangli carefully sifted through the files she brought back and selected four or five cases that were suitable for Yibei’s mission. She packed up the scattered folders on the table and drank her cup of tea before picking up her notebook to flip through it again.

[Investigate urban legends in the Lucky Community], [Collection of information on missing person cases], [Repairs on seals and data research on the southern suburbs slaughterhouse]…

“These four or five tasks should be able to help him when he starts,” Jiangli said to herself. “They are all simple tasks, but if he still has problems, he can only…”

She rummaged through her desk to pick up an untouched document and opened it. Inside, there were various advertisements for various cemeteries around Huacheng.

“Too old-fashioned; he might not like it… This one is good but a bit small.”

Jiangli is a thoughtful mentor. She didn’t want to be unprepared, no matter the situation.

While carefully helping him select suitable tasks, she also made psychological preparations for herself, just in case he failed, by helping him choose a suitable resting place.

There was no such thing as luck in the Night Division. Their work transcends luck, and they have no room to leave it up to fate.

…

Yibei rejected Bai Kai’s invitation to go to the sauna to rub each other’s backs and relax in the spa. When he returned home, the sky was already turning white.

“Come on! Get over here! I’ll beat you up, I swear.”

As soon as he opened the door to his unit, he could hear excited shouts coming from inside.

Jumeng was wearing a large T-shirt that she found in his closet, sitting cross-legged on the sofa, displaying her pristine, long legs, and wearing a pair of pink cat-ear headphones. She had beer in her left hand and fried chicken in her right as she tapped her greasy fingers onto the keyboard as she gamed.

If the residents of the Garden of Peaches knew that their god was like this in private, their faith might collapse on the spot.

Sometimes, Yibei feels that he’s in big trouble. In situations like this, being emotional could make the outcome worse, so all he does is try and smile politely with that rigid face of his.

“I think it’s time for a break. Aren’t you afraid of cardiac arrest?”

It wasn’t until he spoke that Jumeng noticed his presence, and she leapt up from the sofa and said, “You’re back! Did you go hunting for urban legend cores last night?”

“No.”

“It’s okay; you tried your best. Want some fried chicken?” Jumeng smiled, grabbing a half-eaten drumstick and shaking it towards him.

He sat next to her and took the drumstick from her hand: “Is this… considered an indirect kiss?”

Jumeng stared at the computer screen intently, her hands constantly controlling her game character as she nodded: “I don’t mind! It’s up to you!”

“Well, don’t mind if I do!” he said, immediately digging into the drumstick and tearing off large pieces of meat.

We’ll see about that! He sneered in his heart.

The two had constant, silent battles. They competed with each other to occupy the living room, and thus, they were very petty.

Jumeng was slightly stunned when she caught a glimpse of him eating the drumstick. I wanted to prevent him from stealing my fried chicken by saying I already bit into it, but he’s too shameless!

Jumeng simply leaned over, laid on his lap, and whispered, “Do you mind if I lie down to rest for a while?”

“Whatever,” he shrugged, grabbing a piece of chicken wings this time as he gnawed on it. On the other hand, he gently went through Jumeng’s hair with his fingertips and played with it gently.

“Lu Yibei…”

Finally! I win! He cheered in his heart. “What is it?”

“Something is poking my head,” she whispered.

?

No, no, no. That can’t be! I can feel my own thing, and it isn’t even hard! Do I have feelings that I don’t know about?

He narrowed his eyes and fumbled through his pocket, pulling out a palm-sized crystal bottle from his pocket.

Jumeng playfully glanced at him from the corners of her eye but immediately jumped up and pushed herself to the other end of the couch, asking, “Y-y-y… Where did you get this from?”

“What?”

“That thing in your hand! Where did you get it from? Do you know what it is? It is literally called Disaster! It’s the excrement produced in the circulation of this world’s collective psychic system! You, you’re disgusting!”

A beautiful goddess making metaphors related to shit and pee… I guess she really is a plant goddess.

It’s disgusting, but… this is a matter of money! I have to distract her!

He silently put the crystal bottle away, then pointed at the laptop screen and said, “Oh, your team won.”

“What?” She was stunned for a moment, picking up the laptop as the grin on her face started to grow. “Well yes! I’m the raid leader! Yes! Well done, everyone! All thanks to me!”

In reality, before she scrambled to the other side of the couch, she accidentally ordered her character to rush towards the boss, which led her teammates to rush in as well.

He hurriedly left the living room and went upstairs, washed up, changed his clothes, and prepared to go to university.

He had no time to relax. Once he relaxes, just like Jumeng, he might become addicted to lazing around on the sofa.

At least she is a god, and she still has a way to ensure that she is ageless and beautiful.

When passing by the living room, he couldn’t help but feel the emerald eyes of disgust piercing through his soul.

…

Throughout the morning class, he found himself distracted from time to time, and his thoughts would unconsciously wander to the Disaster Liquid.

“In the Great Commentary, the people in ancient times would tie ropes for promises, but later, sages changed them with written contracts.”

I can’t believe Jumeng would feel disgusted by the liquid, which means that it’s beneath her.

“The ancients had no writing, but they had oaths.”

Maybe I shouldn’t sell it, but keep some for self-defence.

“In addition to rope-knotting, bead-knotting was also developed as…”

Argh, enough! I have to listen in class, or I’ll be distracted for the whole day!

He slapped his cheeks and forced himself to focus on the lesson.

And when somebody focuses on something, time flies.

When he came back to his senses, the bell rang. He hurriedly packed his things to leave when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Taking it out, he couldn’t help but frown.

It was a message from Jiangli. It was short but unnerving.

“Today is a good time to retrieve your runes. If you have nothing going on, come over around noon.”