NOVEL NEXT Chapter 22
Night.
Doooonnnnggg…
A very dark night.
So dark you could almost say the world was cloaked in shadows.
Between 1 AM and 2 AM.
I liked going out at this time.
In my past, when I didn’t sleep much—just 4 to 6 hours a day.
With my current body, that’d be impossible, but back then, I took nightly strolls.
Though it had no real meaning, circling a nearby park felt oddly comforting as if I was wrapping up the day.
Due to my lack of stamina, I can’t do that every day now.
But on nights like today, when sleep eludes me or my routine is haywire.
Like a crying cat at night, I just wanted to step outside.
The difference from other days? I couldn’t resist the impulse today.
So, I left my cozy little studio and faced the night air.
“Hmmm…”
The breeze was less refreshing and more gradually chilly.
Is winter creeping up?
I looked down at my upper half.
A thick fleece lined with fluffy material.
A gift I received for free at Eun-ha’s shop.
Underneath, I wore pajama pants adorned with rabbits and three-stripe slippers.
Just to clarify, those pajama pants are not my style at all.
Ji-yeon forced, I mean gifted them to me.
Ignoring a gift like that would be dishonoring the person’s good intentions.
Thus, I wore them.
I’m not the kind of guy who willingly dons such adorable pants.
I yanked the waistband of the pajama pants tight to keep them from slipping down my thin waist.
The cheerful bunny on them quickly turned glum.
And then there were the three-stripe slippers.
My bare feet were exposed in the chilly weather, making my toes tingle.
Still, I wore the slippers because… well, it’s a night walk.
Slippers during a night stroll are like having chicken with beer or pork belly with soju—an age-old, time-honored combination.
Wearing other shoes just doesn’t feel refreshing.
I couldn’t fully absorb the energizing night air like that.
The streets, drenched in pitch darkness, glimmered under the moonlight.
I raised my head and met the moon with my eyes.
The crescent moon shining brightly in the dawn was beautiful.
I headed toward the nearby park I’d seen last time.
Ji-eun’s residential area was bustling with people.
Loud cheers and boisterous laughter flowed from a bar across the street.
Bars, restaurants, cinemas, cafes, parks…
Everything is here!
As I entered the park, I looked around.
Despite the late hour, there were a few people around.
Mostly couples or folks out walking their pets.
They probably found it strange to see a woman wandering alone.
As if reacting reflexively, Ji-eun’s body flinched at their gaze, but she forced herself to stand tall.
This was both a night stroll and a sort of training.
Even if I maintained my composure, Ji-eun’s body, which had received too much attention during the day, was fading from exhaustion.
Yet, I had no intention of living disconnected from the outside world as Ji-eun had.
While I’m not keen on outdoor activities, I go outside when necessary.
If every time I went out, I had to deal with this refusal, it would be exhausting.
I’m not sure how long I can stay as ‘Ji-eun,’ but shaking off the mental hurdles Ji-eun carries was my first priority.
It would be better for me, and also for the ‘Ji-eun’ who’s vanished but could come back.
Ignoring the gazes, I walked through the park.
As my body faded into the darkness, people ceased being interested in me and went on their way.
See? Easy peasy!
I strolled, murmuring to myself.
Sometimes I veered from the path, sometimes I admired a flower blooming in a corner of the park.
Something came my way, moving neither too fast nor too slow.
Meow…
It was a cat.
A cute calico cat, all mixed up in black, brown, and white fur.
How old could it be?
Just a little furball!
That tiny fluffball approached me and rubbed against my legs.
Purring, it nuzzled against my ankle, and I was a bit taken aback—this was a scenario I’d only seen in videos until now.
But just for a moment,
As the little one seemed to crave affection, I crouched down and petted it with gusto.
It bumped its face against my hand and circled around me, clearly expressing its fondness.
Meow…
As if asking me to take it with me.
It nudged its body against me, trying to squeeze into my arms.
When that didn’t work, it simply flopped on the ground.
That unimaginably adorable sight made me think, Should I just take it home?
Yet, I tried to think as rationally as I could.
To put it bluntly, I didn’t have the confidence to properly care for this little life.
Bad memories flashed back.
In the past, I took a chick home from a roadside vendor only to see it die three days later.
My family comforted me, saying it was because I got a sickly chick, so it’s not my fault.
Yet, I couldn’t shake off the guilt.
The sight of that little life, once lively, now limp and cold was a memory I never wanted to experience again.
And my situation was worse now.
Ji-eun’s body was different from mine.
I was already struggling to take care of this one body, and now I should raise a cat?
Ridiculous!
I firmly decided and opened my mouth.
“No… I can’t take care of you.”
Yet, my resolve weakened, and I spoke in a trembling voice I didn’t even realize I had.
Meow…
The cat, as if understanding my words, meowed even more pitifully and pressed its body against me insistently.
I couldn’t bring myself to leave that spot.
I should have gotten up decisively, but I wasn’t that strong.
Maybe my will was conveyed, as the cat slowly distanced itself from me after nuzzling.
It turned back and meowed a few times before walking away.
…I felt a bit down.
I no longer felt like continuing my night stroll.
I got up and started walking.
*
“Oh… could I see your ID, please?”
When I opened the door once.
And once more, startled at seeing my face, the part-timer jumped.
Handing him a green bottle, he said.
I had stopped by a convenience store on the way.
Feeling a bit low, I thought maybe a drink would help.
Relying on alcohol isn’t great, but sometimes it’s better to drink and shake off the blues on days like this.
I wanted to buy two bottles but settled for just one.
Drink it all tonight without leaving any behind.
After all, if there’s soju left in the refrigerator, I might keep drinking.
As for snacks… well.
I usually preferred soup-based food with soju, but tonight, I just felt like having soju on its own.
While paying, I caught the part-timer glancing at me, and behind him, I saw rows of cigarettes.
As someone who’s not a heavy smoker but had spent several years flirting with cigarettes in my twenties, saying I wasn’t tempted would be a lie.
But as someone who had tried quitting, I knew it was best not to start at all.
I clamped my mouth shut to keep the words “one pack of cigarettes, please” from slipping out.
With a single bottle of plain soju dangling in my hand, I headed home.
I wondered how others perceived me.
A drunken person sipping soju while walking?
A pretty but mentally unstable crazy girl?
Who knows?
At this late hour, there were no passersby on the streets.
*
Glug…
I lifted the glass, which was slightly over half full, and gulped it down.
A spicy but bitter taste filled my mouth.
I felt a bit uneasy in my stomach.
Maybe I needed snacks even in small amounts.
Still, the soju kept flowing down.
Am I just young?
Suddenly, I felt warm all over.
I was starting to feel a little tipsy—not completely wasted, just pleasantly buzzed.
Had I had three cups or so?
Realization hit me that Ji-eun’s drinking capacity wasn’t that great.
Well, being easily tipsy on a small amount could be a good thing after all.
Cost-effectiveness matters!
Just around the time I finished half my soju…
It tasted sweet.
I couldn’t put my finger on it, but the soju had turned sweet.
Is it possible that today’s soju has sugar added during processing?
Staring at the ingredients list, I suddenly felt an emotional shift.
What is this?
A blend of loneliness and emptiness swelled within me.
I felt so alone.
I was shocked by my own thoughts.
That I could feel this way.
In my small room, sitting at the computer, drinking plain soju, I wished someone were sitting next to me.
Someone to talk to, to listen to me, and to share their stories—
I needed a drinking buddy who could chat with me.
Suddenly, faces of potential candidates flashed through my mind.
Ji-yeon… I couldn’t call her now while she was probably deep in dreamland.
It wouldn’t be good to show a minor drinking.
Eun-ha… I had her contact but calling her out of the blue felt off.
After all, we didn’t have that kind of friendship yet.
Streamer Sua…? I had no way to contact her.
Hmm, Daesik… Daesik is a bit…
Suddenly, I felt the reality of my narrow social connections.
Of course, I’d only been living in this body for less than a month.
But even social butterflies form friendships quickly, right?
However, no matter how well-connected someone is, no one would drop by just because I felt lonely at this hour.
And, realistically, no one would come if I called them.
At least, that’s how I see it.
Hmm… So what should I do?
There was actually an easy solution.
I could just step outside and wander into any bar, and if I said I was lonely, the people inside would chat with me.
Ji-eun’s looks had sufficient potential for that.
But I had no idea what could happen afterward.
Naturally, that option was out.
Excluding going out, my options were very limited.
I could call a random number and whine.
Play a game.
Or just ghost myself.
None of these sounded appealing.
…Guess I’ll just drink.
As my hand waved around looking for the soju bottle, I grasped something else.
A long, black microphone.
Holding the black microphone for a moment, I thought.
Should I do some broadcasting…?