I Am This Murim’s Crazy Bitch

The news that the water had gone bad was not something to be taken lightly.

Water was essentially life itself.

In the primitive ancient uncivilized Central Plains that depended on agriculture, the importance of water could not be overstated even with hundreds of asterisks.

In the past, King Yu¹ manipulated the floods and established the domain of the Central Plains, stabilizing the world through water management.

This moved Emperor Shun² so much that he passed the throne to Yu.

The Three Sovereigns were gods, and the Five Emperors were demigods. Emperor Shun, as the last of these Five Emperors, passed the throne to humans.

It was a historic moment when the Emperor transitioned from a mythical being to a human.

In other words, the link between myth and humanity laid in water management, the control of water.

This was how important water was.

"What do you mean the water has gone bad?"

"I am not sure. We always use well water from the upper Min River because it's good, but it's the same with all the wells I visited throughout the night. However, the taste of the water from the Tuo River³ is still fine, so I think there might be a problem with the Min River. Isn't this kind of thing the specialty of the Tang Clan's experts?"

Sichuan has two waterways flowing east and west.

They were called the Tuo River and the Min River as they flowed to join the Yangtze River.

They were also called Tuo and Min without the 'River' part.

Several streams flowed through Chengdu city, but the main waterways were four rivers branching off from the Min River.

Starting the Yunyang River flowing north, in order, the Baidu River, Zhuma River, and Dao River were known for their clean and clear water taste, often used as a basis for Sichuan cuisine to claim it was the best in the Central Plains.

It wasn't just about the taste of water.

Most rivers in the Central Plains were yellow, murky, and tasted of earth.

Rivers clean enough to drink directly were common only in Sichuan, rare in other regions.

"The Min River is always busy with boats, so isn't that why? But it's not something we can easily dismiss. Let's go to the Tang Clan first."

Ziyou naturally tried to lead the group.

Tried to, that is.

Qing took a step back.

Her stomach was too upset to be swept along by such an atmosphere.

It was because she didn't know whether this river or water management issue was serious or not.

"I need to eat lunch. It's breakfast and lunch combined, so I can't delay any longer. You go ahead first. I'll eat with Gramps and come in later, okay?"

However, Ziyou was starting to understand how to handle Qing.

"No, with the Greatest Chef Under Heaven here, why look for another chef? You must have wanted to stand in the Tang Clan's kitchen at least once, haven’t you?"

At this, Bai Changzi took offense.

"I've already refused the Tang Clan's offer. The place I wanted to stand was not the Tang Clan's kitchen, but the royal prefecture's kitchen."

He was saying this in front of the very Prince of that royal prefecture, so it was like being blind with eyes wide open.

It was frustrating, but also admirable in a way, leaving Ziyou at a loss.

Qing let out a hissing laugh.

"Friend, you lack the finishing touches, it seems. Hey, Mister Chef. Is it only help when you need it? Are you saying you can't make a meal for us?"

As Qing reached out her hand, Choi Leeong appeared from somewhere and placed a magical flute in her hand.

Then Bai Changzi spoke proudly.

"Haha. As a chef of Sichuan, shouldn't I stand in the Tang Clan's kitchen at least once? I'm extremely curious about what kind of ingredients they might have."

----The Tang Clan occupied an entire neighborhood district called Tang Center, where only members of the Tang Clan lived.

As they entered Tang Center, the second? third? fourth? direct descendant of the Tang Clan appeared from somewhere.

Was he the one with the tail? Or the neck meat? Or the Jian Nan Chun?

Qing wasn't sure because she hadn't paid much attention.

But a few more of those brothers appeared afterward, so whether it was the second or third, it seemed like someone would be there if called.

Anyway, after explaining the situation, Tang So-And-So nodded.

"If that's the case, we should call our Ah'er. She should be tending to patients at the Tang Clan Clinic right now."

"Her?"

Qing recalled the rather dubious Tang Nanah.

Though her face looked fierce, there was something about her that reminded Qing of Senior Sister Wannabe, making her an unreliable choice.

"There's no Poison Master in the Tang Clan who can handle poisons as freely as Ah'er. I'm not saying this because she's my sister, but it's truly a heaven-sent talent."

Tang Nanah always carried custom-made Combination Poisons.

They were all terrifying poisons that targeted only the face of the opponent.

They were actually deadly poisons that were difficult to detoxify, taking effect after just a few breaths.

To the clan's Poison Masters, it was heartbreaking that this heaven-sent talent was used to create poisons that merely caused consecutive sneezing or unnoticeable tears.

Nevertheless, Tang Nanah was the Tang Clan's top Poison Master.

The "poison" in Speaking Poison Flower wasn't just given because the child was vicious, insidious, and ill-tempered.

Of course, there was also the fact that the Tang Clan no longer focused on poisons, so the Poison Masters were just analyzing what was available and not at a high level.

The Tang Clan now focused on a different area.

"Wow. Clinic..."

Qing marveled at the sight of the massive Tang Clan Clinic.

The seven wide-open gates revealed a vast courtyard where patients lined up.

Physicians sat in rows in the converted main hall, examining patients with solemn expressions.

The savory smell of medicinal herbs being decocted whetted one's appetite from afar.

"These are the Seven Great Gates of the Tang Clan Clinic. Anyone who is sick can freely come and go, so even in the dead of night, at least two gates are always open. This is also why there are no other clinics in Chengdu."

"Oooh."

The Tang Clan now focused on medicine.

Since there had been no enemies in Chengdu since the time of the Celestial Martial Emperor, the Tang Clan's poisonous heart had softened.

Thus, they opened the doors of the Tang Clan Clinic wide and cared for patients for free, even taking a loss on each pulse diagnosis.

However, it wasn't charity.

Medicine was originally an accumulation of empirical experiences.

The accumulation of countless cases led to an explosive development in the Tang Clan's medical knowledge.

Qing nodded at the mention of unlimited free treatment.

No wonder the Righteous Karma of the Tang Clan people wasn't low.

When Tang Nanah pushed aside reservations, people grumbled but didn't curse her because of the goodwill they had built up usually.

Ziyou smiled bitterly.

This was also why the Grand Prince didn't bother to crush these parasites who were gradually nibbling away at his assets.

Even if they acted a bit arrogantly and tyrannically, they rarely harmed people, and instead saved lives with their medical skills.

Unless it was at the level of embezzling mines or treasonous gunpowder manufacturing, he could turn a blind eye.

It could even be said that they were more beneficial than Daoist sects that only ate without producing anything.

In one corner of the Tang Clan Clinic, they found Tang Nanah, who was tending to women. She opened her eyes fiercely and said:

"Ha, what is it? Do you think Nanah is someone with nothing to do who will do whatever you ask and look at whatever you want her to see? And my Oppas should know better too. Falling head over heels for that unworthy one and throwing away their pretty little sister. Hmph."

Ah. They did say she had a nasty temper, huh.

Yeah, I did think she was unexpectedly docile for someone said to have a nasty temper.

This was the Tang Nanah without Peng Chaolei next to her.

"Look here. It's not about any little thing, but a matter of water management. Personal feelings shouldn't..."

"What are you saying? The weakling who tagged along seems to have a mouth that is used far too much."

Then she dipped into the water they brought, tasted it, tilted her head side to side several times, and finally took a big gulp and drank it all down.

"There's nothing wrong with it? Making a fuss over nothing. Ridiculous. Everyone get out! Nanah is going to see patients."

Because her face was pretty, even when she referred to herself by name, it didn't trigger the urge to give her a nuclear noogie.

If it had been Crutch or Jin Jangmyeong, they probably would have deserved a nuclear noogie.

Anyway, she didn't seem willing to help, and it felt wrong to hold back a physician who said she was going to tend to patients.

That's when it happened.

"Hmm. Where is Nanah... Oh. Qing'er. With something covering your face, I can see you even from afar."

It was Peng Chaolei, who had come to the Tang Clan Clinic after hearing that they had prepared Shiquan Teapills⁴ that she had personally brewed.

"Ah. Hello. Good morning, isn't it?"

"Morning? Qing'er, a martial artist should be diligent. The sun is already high in the sky, so you shouldn't say such things. A proper martial artist should wake up when dawn is still screaming and sweat through training."

"Unni!"

Peng Chaolei, who didn't seem like she would do such a thing, suddenly started nagging.

Fortunately, Tang Nanah interrupted the nagging by rushing out and hugging the nagger's arm.

"Hehe, Unni, you came?"

"Oh my. Were you in the middle of tending to patients? I didn't see you that way, but you have an admirable side? That's good. That's really good."

"Hehe. It's nothing. …Wait, huh?"

What's this? Something's strange. Is this supposed to be raise?

While Tang Nanah was slightly confused...

"But I feel left out. Are you all gathering without me? Qing'er, is there something fun going on?"

"The only fun thing is that the Greatest Chef Under Heaven here is going to make us lunch. Other than that, there's an unfun thing. They say the water has gone bad."

At this, Peng Chaolei's face became as serious as if something had gone bad within her too.

Everyone except Qing knew it was a serious problem.

"That is indeed a serious problem. Ah. So that's why Nanah was trying to check?"

"Of course! Who else in the world but me would volunteer for such a serious matter!"

As she said this, she shot a venomous glare that seemed to say 'Don’t you dare speak'.

Qing and Ziyou thought as they watched this scene.

Isn't she like a dog?

For some reason, she looks just like a dog.

----Something did come out.

Even Tang Nanah looked surprised.

"There's a fish called Oyangjeuk that carries poison. If it spreads in large numbers, it could dissolve in the water to some extent. But it's not particularly harmful to the body. Unless you get stung by a Hongdusangyeobong after eating it. But anyway, they only live in Yunnan, so there's no need to be careful in Sichuan."

"Ah! That's right! I thought the taste was familiar, it was the fishy taste of Oyangjeuk! Eut?"

Bai Changzi interrupted Tang Nanah's words and shouted, then suddenly grabbed the back of his neck.

He seemed to pull out a thin needle, and then his nose turned bright red and started gushing mucus.

"How dare a mere chef interrupt someone's words. Hmph."

Tang Nanah looked at Bai Changzi with a sour expression.

"By the way, is he even human? How does he notice a change in water taste just because some river fish have changed?"

"Ish true. I am the Greatesht Chef Under Heaven, sho of courshe I would notishe. Thish ish the pride of the Greatesht Chef Under Heaven. Sho, what should we do now? Are we jusht going to leave it like thish?"

Bai Changzi asked, undeterred by his runny nose.

In a way, he was a very consistent person.

"Anyway, Oyangjeuk can't survive the winter, so they'll all disappear after this winter. But, it is a bit strange."

Tang Nanah furrowed her beautiful brow.

"Oyangjeuk is a fish that only lives in Yunnan, so it doesn't suit Sichuan at all. The water doesn't match from the start. But you’re saying it has reproduced enough for the poison to dissolve in the water?"

"It'sh shtrange. There hasn't been any increashe in Oyangjeuk at the market."

It was a way of thinking that only a chef would utilize.

If Oyangjeuk had reproduced, wouldn't fishermen have immediately caught them and put them out in the market?

"Then, is someone trying to farm them? If the whole Min River is like this, it must be upstream at Dujiangyan. What? Someone set up a fish farm at Dujiangyan without the Tang Clan's permission? How dare they."

Ziyou frowned.

To set up a fish farm at Dujiangyan, one should report to the government office and get permission from the rightful owner, the royal prefecture. Why would they need the Tang Clan's permission?

"Anyway, we'll know if we check directly, right? I was bored, so this is perfect timing."

Peng Chaolei grinned as she summarized the situation.

Qing added one more thing.

"Let's eat lunch first."

1. Yu the Great or Yu the Engineer was a legendary king in ancient China who was credited with "the first successful state efforts at flood control", his establishment of the Xia dynasty, which inaugurated dynastic rule in China, and for his upright moral character.2. Emperor Shun was a legendary leader of ancient China, regarded by some sources as one of the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors being the last of the Five Emperors. Tradition holds that he lived sometime between 2294 and 2184 BC. Tradition also holds that those with the surname Hu are descendants of Emperor Shun.3. The Tuo River is 655-kilometer-long river in Sichuan province of southern China. The Tuo River is one of the major tributaries of the upper Yangtze River.4. Shi Quan Da Bu Wan, also known as Shiquan Dabu teapills, is a Chinese classic herbal formula. In Japanese kampo, it is known as "Jūzen-daiho-tō". It is commonly made into Chinese patent medicine. It is composed of two famous formulas which tonify the blood and the qi plus the addition of huang qi and rou gui.