I Am Overpowered And A Comedian In Another World

I stretched out my fist towards Jack.

I thought he knew what to do with it and he acted like he knew it from his mother's womb.

And then he showed me what he knew.

He brought his mouth towards my fist and opened it, gulping my fist inside.

And the way he took my whole fist, I became really sure that he learned it from his mother's womb.

And to think I was just talking about being friends with him.

"This is what you wanted me to do, right, pal?" He asked, with his mouth open, grinning?

My fist wasn't even touching his mouth and I already want to file a harassment case against him.

I retracted my fist and instead of wasting time on being angry, I asked the main thing.

"Now tell me your skills. What can you do?"

Jack pumped his chest. "I can pass through things. Anything. So I can't touch anything either. And as you saw a few moments ago, I am not invisible either. The guards saw me as clearly as the nipples of my landlady when she wore a wet shirt. A fun fact—It was me who made sure all her clothes remain wet."

"... I see. So your one skill is confessing your crimes. Now tell me the rest."

"The rest? Well, I can make jokes. Drop my pants. I can suck. I can take it in the as—"

"No. Stop. Tell me about the skill of reading minds. You said it was your passive skill. You can read minds. Right?"

"Oh that.. Yes. I can read your mind."

"Only mine? Can you not read the mind of others?"

"Well, technically, I can."

"Technically?"

"That skill has a condition."

"What is it?!"

"If I want to read someone's mind, I have to stare at their eyes for five minutes non stop without blinking."

"Oh… thank god it's not that hard."

"But I blink every five seconds."

Motherfuc—

"What?"

"Yes. I can't stare at someone for too long. It makes me moist all over and I don't like to make others uncomfortable."

"You don't like to make others comfortable? Bro, I can't even turn around freely without fear ever since I met you. And if you can't stare at someone then how the fuck you used this Skill on me? Wait… how many people have you used this Skill on?"

Jack grinned. "For that, pal, congratulations."

"Why!?"

"Because you are the first one whom I used this Skill on successfully."

Jack clapped and I almost banged my head on the floor.

"If you blink every five seconds then how did you stare at me for five minutes straight to use your mind reading skill?"

"You were sleeping in this prison for three months, pal. I practiced my skill on you daily and one day, I was finally able to stare at you for five minutes straight. And for these three months I regretted my ability to not touch anything the most. I had the golden chance to do something since you were asleep but I can't. Life is full of hardships."

"Don't try to make it sound like a struggle, man! You were literally looking for a chance to rape me!"

"That's subjective."

"Wait…" I suddenly found hope. "So you were able to use your mind reading skill on me so it means that now you learned how to stare for five minutes without blinking? When did you finally manage to use your Skill on me?"

"Just yesterday."

I suddenly lost hope as well.

"... So you are saying that you practiced looking at me for five minutes without blinking for three months straight and only yesterday you managed to succeed?"

"Yes. That's what I am saying."

BANG!

I punched the wall.

The wall remained as it was but my fist vibrated like a cheap double battery vibrator running on triple batteries.

If the wall had a mouth it'd be smirking right now like—hurt me again, human. I can make you do more than just vibrate. Hehe.

I shook my head and focused back on Jack.

"Jack, I don't give a fuck about your blink condition. Learn how not to blink for five minutes. Hone your stalking skills. I need your power and I want you to become a master at that. Get it?"

"I will try."

"No tries! You have to do it. I don't want to spend all my life here. I'll hold your body and in return, you have to become a professional athlete in a staring contest, like a 57 year old man in a train sitting in front of a young lady."

"Alright. Alright. I get it. Think of a way to get out of this cell first."

I nodded. I already had a plan of some kind.

"I would have washed the dead body but there is no water. I don't think guards care enough to bring us water. They think we both are ghosts. So that leaves me with only one choice."

Jack gulped. "What is it?"

"I will carry this body as it is."

Jack's brows shot up. "You got over the smell?"

"Nope. In fact, every time I look at the body, a new smell takes birth and a little bit of humanity dies inside me. But I will manage and hold the body until we see a large water reserve."

"Damn, you are serious, pal. I can't even smell in this form but I can tell by your face it must be stinking. Good luck."

I nodded. "Don't forget your work. Master your Skill."

"I will." Jack patted his chest.

So he can touch himself but not others. A punishment and a boon at the same time for a pervert like him.

"Alright. Now that's out of the way, let's look for a way to open this cell."

I stood up.

Jack followed beside me.

I reached near the lock area of the cell and watched it closely.

The lock hanging on the cell was rusted, algae infested, like two lesbians did scissors with it in the middle, and spiders had created their literal spider-verse inside it.

Looking at it, even if I had found the key it wouldn't have opened. It was like the genitals of a fifty seven year old virgin woman. The hole was closed for good.

And I had read somewhere, if you can't find a way out, hide in the bathroom for the time being.

Wait, I remembered the wrong thing. Anyway, what I am trying to say is…

If the lock won't open, try to remove the door.

That's why, I examined the lock area closely like a secret CIA agent that even the CIA doesn't know he works for them.

The lock was hanging on a rectangular metal shape and on the corners of this rectangle, I saw something.

'Let's see if this works. I should have one in my pocket.'

I shoved my hand inside my night suit pajamas.

Yes. I was wearing that in the prison and somehow, it was the most normal thing. Because the appearance of Jack changed the threshold of normal.

Malthus had taken my Skills so along with that I lost my armor as well, since it was a Skill too.

And I was going to sleep but Malthus had arrived with his army for a war during my sleep and I had to join the fight in this same dress as well. It was under the armor though but now it wasn't.

Anyway, I searched my pocket and when I felt what I wanted, I beamed.

I remembered the time when my pocket had a hole and I didn't know it. So every time I put my hand inside it that day, I had beamed just like today.

Anyway, coming back, I took my hand out of the pocket and Jack saw what I took out.

As soon as he laid his eyes on it, he gave me the same look prostitutes give to their husbands as he said:

"Why did you bring out a coin, pal? If you want me, I can do it for free. I will never charge money from you."

"..."