I Am A Table [LitRPG Isekai Progression Fantasy]

Anders was caught. Or that was what Blorbo thought.

However, the old man had always had more tricks up his sleeve. With one shake of his wrist, he produced another spell.

[Soughing Veil—Beginner Wind Spell—Level ???]

+ 1 PER

A delicate breeze gathered at his fingertips, twisting into a muted swirl that rushed toward Griesa like a sighing hush.

That should dampen her voice for sure!

Except it didn't.

Clink!

A loud metallic pop went off near her neck. One of the bronze beetle-like devices latched to her scarf was previously dormant, but now sputtered, whirred, and released a puff of thick purple smoke that billowed into the air like a stage magician's exit cue. A tiny sign flipped out of it, reading:

"ANTI-WIND-BASED DISTURBANCE FIELD ACTIVE"
☼ "Patent pending!" ☼

Lena, Rob, and Blorbo all stared at her.

Griesa coughed, fanned the smoke away, then squinted at the sign. "Oh! I forgot about that one. I made it for when I'm drying my hair and don't want the breeze to mess up my bangs."

The sign clattered off its hinge and fell to the ground.

Griesa puffed out her chest, smoke still curling around her like an overcooked stew. "Ha! I have all the tech for all the stupid magic you can produce, old man!" she declared, hands on hips, causing another gadget to spark and eject a very unnecessary confetti burst. "You want to blow wind at me? Distort my voice? Flutter my sleeves? I've got wind-nullifiers, static balancers, and a counter-sneeze dampener! Try me!"

Anders blinked at the horse Griesa was sitting on. The horse blinked back.

The old man then raised a finger.

[Shepherd's Whirl—Beginner Wind Spell—Level ???]

+ 1 PER

A sudden gust swirled low around the horse's legs, weaving between its hooves like a tickle from a phantom breeze. Its ears shot upright, eyes wide. The breeze climbed its spine like the breath of a ghost and—

The horse screeched. (Or, well, it did its best horse impression of screeching.)

Griesa turned. "Wait. Wait, wait. Oh no."

The horse bolted.

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RIDE A HOOORSE—!" Griesa's scream faded rapidly into the distance as the poor beast took off like a rocket, tearing away from the convoy at breakneck speed, hooves pounding against rock and dirt, scattering panicked birds into the sky. One of her gadgets fell off mid-gallop, bounced once, and exploded in glitter. Her monocle fell onto Anders hands.

"Should… should we help her?" Lena asked.

"No," said Rob.

"What is that?" One knight turned back. Anders immediately ducked out of his vision.

Then Marin turned, saw Griesa, cursed under his breath, then ordered two knights to ride alongside him and get her back.

Now, with the knights galloping after some false footsteps and the screaming trail of smoke and glitter that was Griesa, the scene settled into an awkward, almost peaceful silence.

Anders exhaled, straightened his robes, and casually strolled forward. He merely adjusted the crooked monocle, now on his right eye, and laid a single hand on the side of the massive wagon, then stepped inside.

A few moments later, heavy footfalls pounded down the hillside, and Ducaz barrelled into view. He skidded to a halt near Rob, panting. "Hoo—okay—hoo—how're things going?"

Rob, still staring at the rapidly shrinking glitter trail across the plains, did not turn his head. He simply pointed in the direction of the fleeing horse.

Ducaz followed the gesture, squinting. "... Is she… flying?"

"No," Rob said. "She's just very bad at horses."

"She could've learned a trick or two from me," Ducaz commented. "I can do a 360-degree spin on a horse, no problem."

A distant POP sounded, followed by another cloud of glitter.

The knights soon returned, grumbling and mud-spattered, with no Griesa in sight. Their formation was in horrible shape, and the knight in charge didn't make much of an effort to correct it now with Marin chasing after Griesa.

"Move the wagon," the knight in charge barked. "We're wasting daylight."

With a creak and groan, the horses stamped, and the convoy began to shift once more.

A knight returned to his position at the rear of the massive wagon, standing vigil with a wary eye on the curtain flap.

Then—

Fwoop.

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The curtain stirred.

Anders popped his head out. His monocle caught the sun at just the wrong angle, glinting in perfect alignment with the hilltop bush where Lena, Blorbo, Rob, and Ducaz were hiding. That was probably the signal.

Lena ducked. Rob muttered a curse.

Ducaz straightened, wheezed, then trotted up the hillside with great reluctance.

[Fake Footstep Echo III—Activated]

[Footstep Amplifier—Activated]

+ 0 PER

+ 1 PER

The hillside once again erupted in the thunderous sound of sprinting boots, but this time, the echoes looped wide, emerging from a patch of forest to the west.

But he ran too quick, far too quick, and was about to ram his toe squarely into the leg of Blorbo's field table, which, due to reasons too stupid to explain, they had dragged all the way up the hill.

Oh no.

One toe to table leg, and who knew what might happen to the spells Ducaz had been carefully calibrating.

Blorbo, blessed with 23 AGI and a deeply ingrained survival instinct, sensed the movement just in time. But not enough time to roll. Not enough time to dodge. Certainly not enough time to activate [Adjustable Angle].

So he opened the interface and slapped something. Anything.

His palm slammed against his interface and a random skill fired:

[Retribution Counter — Passive Skill]

Oh NO! I'm going to hurt Ducaz DOUBLY!

But.

It didn't happen that way.

Instead, as Ducaz's boot collided with Blorbo, it punted him sideways like an inflatable mascot. Blorbo followed through with a spin and backflipped mid-air, perfectly landing with its surface now kissing the grass and its legs to the sky. The grass smelled like grass.

[-8 HP]

A nearby knight glanced sharply toward the sound.

But Ducaz was already gone. And Blorbo had already vanished into the bushes.

From somewhere above, Ducaz muttered under his breath, "That's why we shouldn't have brought a table."

Wait. Is Ducaz that strong? Even Lena felt some pain when she kicked me once. Did he bypass my Counter…?

He opened his interface with a few sluggish swipes.

The skill read:

[Retribution Counter] — [Disabled]

What?

His eyes narrowed. Wait. Passive skills… don't have to be on all the time?

He scrolled a bit more.

Some annoying skills—like [Synchronized Sitting]—don't have to stay on forever…?

He had, in fact, tapped it twice. Once to activate. Once to deactivate.

He double-tapped Retribution Counter again to confirm. The skill flipped back to [Activate].

Now that's useful! If only the system explained it to me earlier…

Right then, Lena went over to flip Blorbo back upright. She grumbled to herself, "The table is here to provide an obstacle for if the knights close in on us, not to provide obstacles for ourselves!" Finally, a plausible explanation for why I'm here.

Seconds after, Ducaz's skills started making sounds. The knights snapped to attention.