I Am A Table [LitRPG Isekai Progression Fantasy]

He couldn't move.

He couldn't speak.

He couldn't even twitch his stupid drawer-face.

Blorbo was absolutely drawerlocked.

The next few minutes came and went in a blur. By the time Blorbo had finally adjusted to his Stunned status, he realized he was no longer on Lena's back. The final word he heard from her was, "I'm going to need to help the guys, so you stay here, Blorbo."

[Status: Stunned]

[Skill Activation: Disabled]

[You are currently being used as a bookstand.]

Someone had placed a hardcover compendium titled Herbological Warts & Wartological Herbs on top of him. He could feel its weight like a smug brick, but nothing he couldn't stand with his 40 END.

Then, Lena ran back, with a book named How to Sneakily Steal Sweets from Others. Blorbo had no idea why she'd need a book like that, and no idea why it was leather-bound and a THOUSAND pages long. The book let out a BAM when she dropped on him.

It's getting a bit too heavy now. Please stop. I'm made of Featherwood. I'm fragile.

Lena looked at Blorbo for a moment and thought out loud, "It seems like he's reaching his limits. I shouldn't place more things on him."

Yes. Thank you. I've always known you're a reasonable kind, Lena.

"On second thought…" She put a finger on her chin. "Griesa just upgraded him recently. I guess one more book should be fine." Then she carefreely skipped away, punching a sentient quill out of orbit as she skipped.

No. No no no.

I mean… There's nothing I can do about it now. Surely one book can't be that bad.

Blorbo watched in muted horror as Lena returned—no skip this time, just a determined march. And in her hands…

No.

That wasn't a book.

That was a geological formation.

It had bindings, sure, and a cover (probably leather—possibly dragon), but it also had mass.

It was titled The Comprehensive Cross-Referenced Collection of Cursed Culinary Codices and Cooking Catastrophes, Volume I of MCCXXXVII.

It had an index volume strapped to the spine. It had footnotes with endnotes. He could hear the footnotes sobbing.

This wasn't a book. It was a small gravitational anomaly wrapped in academic spite.

Lena beamed. "Here we go!"

NO—

BOOM.

The codex hit him. His joints screamed. His hinges whimpered. His surface dented inward with a creak that only he could hear.

[-17 HP]

[Excessive Weight Detected]

No! I'm gonna die.

But just as the codex threatened to crush his very soul lacquer, Lena crouched down with a thoughtful hum. "Oh, wait."

She pulled a second stool over from the side and slid it beside Blorbo, carefully lifting one edge of the monstrous tome and propping it on the stool like a construction beam.

[Structural Load Balanced]

[Emergency Weight Redistribution Engaged]

Thank the Lord. She still has common sense.

"This should keep him standing for some time. Now I can—"

Then a growling 'meowwww' resounded, and Rob's voice echoed from afar. "Lena! The second wave of tarts are coming! We need help!"

"Tarts?! I'm coming!" Then Lena rushed off, out of sight, her voice growing smaller with each step.

Blorbo was left alone.

It was fine.

He could handle this.

He wouldn't die. He'd just be bored.

No high-level squirrels. No martial artist chickens. No ethically ambiguous table duels. Peace and peace only, for the next 13 hours.

Then the stool exploded.

It shattered. A single, brave creak rang out like a warhorn, followed by the pitiful wooden scream of overburdened legs. Then: KRCKKKKFFWOMP.

The codex slammed fully onto his body.

[-4 HP]

[-6 HP]

[-3 HP]

[One (1) Structural Support: Deceased]

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[Excessive Weight Detected]

[Initiating Endurance Training. Potential reward: 30 END]

30 END?! That'll almost double my attribute—[-5 HP]—total!

[Endurance Training Activation Failed: You're Stunned]

No! If you make me suffer, at least give me a reward!

[Penalty During Training: -10 END]

What?! I am NOT even TRAINING! Why do I still get the penalty? This doesn't even make sense. Why did you cancel the training AND keep the penalty?!

With his END reduced by 25%, the damage dealt to him by the heavy load increased.

[-9 HP]

[-8 HP]

He had 12 HP left. He was really going to die now.

Then someone floated in and kicked the book off his surface as they did. His vision slowly trickled back in, blurry and crooked.

There. Floating majestically in the center of the room like a philosophical soap bubble…

Master Sensei. Still trapped in his spherical confinement.

So that's the guy they forgot to bring along! I thought it would've been someone else…

Unbelievable they literally forgot their prisoner here.

He was slowly drifting sideways toward the open tower window.

Wait. Wait no. Don't go that way. That's not the—no don't you dare float out that window like some ascetic balloon.

Then he saw a quest marker above Master Sensei's head. Not just any quest marker.
Not the usual glowing yellow, or blood-red epic-tier death prompt.

This one… was rainbow.

What the hell kind of divine-grade Lord of the Light questline is that?! No! Wait! Come back! I can't accept it like this!

[Status: Stunned (00:12:53 remaining)]

[Interaction: Disabled]

[Speech: Disabled]

[Quests: Disabled]

Blorbo stared helplessly as Master Sensei spun toward the open tower window.

Just as the bubble reached the edge… THUMP!

Master Sensei bonked backward into the room like a rolled dumpling. A figure vaulted in after him, scaling the stone edge of the window like a caffeinated squirrel.

They landed in a crouch, spun once, and stuck the pose far too dramatically for someone who's holding a linked string of sausages.

Ducaz.