I Am A Carnivorous Plant

I was so full by the time that the sun came up that I was worried that I was going to grow weird. Perhaps instead of shooting upwards like a beautiful and dignified tree, I would just… umbrella out. I’d become some kind of a portly bush. Or maybe a long hedge. I guess hedges are also pretty? In their own… unique way? If I’m destined to grow up into a hedge, then that’s what I’ll be. I’ll be the biggest, most scariest hedge to ever exist! Killer hedge, the hedge that kills people!

 

This time I made sure to find a nice spot where there was a decent clearing before I set my roots down. I wasn’t going to be constantly moving around like yesterday! I was going to have a nice, peaceful, stationary soak in the sun like a proper plant today! Yay photosynthesis! Bless me with your yummy rays, you big shining sun! Make me grow big and strong!

 

Goodnight once again~

 

~~~

 

I was woken up by my senses a few times, but this time I never had to move to keep up with the sun! I got worried a few times from some animals getting a little too close to me, and some of them that I saw I know for a fact were a completely new species to me. It’s not that I couldn’t, like, make a guess as to what they were trying to be, but… They all looked like what someone might have made if they were only vaguely told the description of the animals, but had never actually seen them before. Maybe I’m really not on earth anymore? Unless I’m in some especially hidden and whacky forest somewhere, that seems like a reasonable explanation. Honestly, I find seeing these new crazy animals fun, but not knowing whether they like small pretty plants like me makes it hard to know if I’m about to be in trouble or not. And if I decide to run and hide too late, who knows if they might suddenly take interest in me when they would have normally just passed me by otherwise?

 

Learning new things is always such a hassle.

 

At least I’m a very lucky plant! I got so much time to focus on absorbing the sunlight and nutrients inside of me that I feel like I’ve managed to grow a little bit! My little vines feel like they might be just a tiny bit thicker and longer, and I think my roots have also maybe grown a little bigger too! They definitely look like they’re stronger somehow. Maybe I’ll be a little faster when I move around? And on top of all of that, my petals and leaves seem to be changing slightly! I’m starting to grow a tiny bit of a fuzz on my leaves, and my peachy-gold petals that had previously looked a little muted are beginning to get a bit more vibrant! I even started growing another layer of petals! I’m becoming so pretty! I better be careful if I meet any humans, they’re definitely gonna want to pot me and place me on their windowsills! I’d be all the rage! Move over roses, the gardens are now all full of me!

 

I’m convinced this sudden growth must be because of all those nutrients I took in last night. In fact, by the time dusk began approaching, I actually only managed to absorb half of my stock. Imagine how much prettier I could be if I managed to absorb all the rest of it! Or how amazingly I would grow if I kept up this crazy hunting every night! Oh man, I can’t wait to see how big and lovely I can possibly get!

 

Is there any way that I could make myself absorb my nutrients even faster? It would be such a waste if I can only grab half of my full potential of meals every night. Maybe it’s better to keep a reserve just in case, but… But I really want to grow as fast as I can! More eggs! More prey! More nutrients! More growth! Pretty pretty please!

 

Ok, so what helps plants grow?

Sunlight? Check.

Nutrients? Way too many.

Good dirt? …The dirt here kinda sucks. Maybe cuz there’s so many trees eating it up?

So then… Water?

Ahhh, how could I have forgotten about water?

It rained a few days before I set out I think.

I made sure to drink up as much as I could then, but…

Well, yeah, my roots seem a little dry, so I definitely need to find some water soon.

Or maybe the weather will be kind to me and rain again?

…Nah, this isn’t that rainy of a forest in the first place. Best not to bet on the rain.

Okay! Tonight’s mission!

Hunt until I’m full again and search for some water on the way!

 

I shook my foliage determinedly and set off!

 

~~~

 

Birds and eggs were so easy at night. I felt like a thief that found a neighborhood of unlocked houses while everyone was away at work. It was just all so free! Sometimes I’d find that a nest didn’t have eggs, or that a snake had already come and beat me to my target. Once, I even ran into a snake in the act! I had to use my tendrils and my light body to make like a tree and leaf immediately! (I’m sorry)

 

Either way, even if I had some competition now and then, there were still plenty of fish in the sea and birds in the sky.

So long as there’s still more nests around to raid, I’ll definitely raid them!

 

Every now and again, as the journey from nest to nest drew me further along in the forest, I would stop to plant my roots for a moment and feel for the moisture in the area. I didn’t find anything at first, since this area kind of really seems to suck, but eventually I started to find soil that seemed moister than the others! When I felt like I was getting up to max level fullness, I decided to focus on playing marco polo with the water until I found it. It was upsetting that it took as long as it did to find it, but eventually I realized that the air currents felt a little different in one direction, and when I headed towards it I finally found the blessed life giving water that I’d been searching for!

 

I ran over on my little root feet until I got right to the edge, and realized that I had found myself quite a large lake. I dipped a few tentacles in, feeling the cool water around them soaking them. Mmm, it was like waking up in the middle of the night parched and reaching for a huge sip of water. Yesss, I needed this. I dug my roots deep into the soil and let the tips peek out underwater into the lake. I was going to be so well hydrated that I would freaking glow by the end of this! I was going to be positively drenched! And since there was a lake here, and the trees were still a good distance back, the sunlight I would get once day came would be absolutely perfect! Looks like I know exactly where I’m going to be staying for the next day, or maybe forever. This spot is so good!

 

~~~

 

Even before the sun came up I’d been soaking my roots in the water. And when the sun finally did come up, I was in maximum energy absorption mode! Everything was stacked in my favor! Come on, me! Let’s grow grow grow! I couldn’t hold in my eagerness and began swaying slightly while I made up a 'growing' song in my head. Maybe that was making me grow slower that just staying still, idunno, but I was way too excited to stop myself. I even put all of my tendrils into the water, like that would help me absorb the water better. Who knows! I’m just doing my best over here.

 

Sometimes small fish and tiny frogs would come along to the edge of the water. It took a bit of trying, but they soon quickly became snacks in bed for me! Ah, this spot was really amazingly great! I love this place! Maybe I really will make this my home since it seems to have absolutely everything I could need in it, and-

 

Yeah, I forgot a very very important point.

It’s not just me that likes water.

Everything

likes it.

And not just the carnivores that couldn’t care less for a cute little plant like me.

The herbivores like water too.

Just like me, they have a nice little convenient snack waiting there for them to pick.

And they even travel in packs!

At least I’m only big enough for one of them to eat, so they didn’t all descend on me at once.

But yeah. There’s a weird deer coming over to eat me for sure.

 

So, since I was hoping I wouldn’t somehow scare away the frogs that would sometimes leap out of the water, I wasn’t actually using my (possibly) poisonous gas defense. Yeah, that’s completely my bad, I got greedy, I know. But how do you pass up the free food getting delivered right to your doorstep just 'cuz there might be criminals on the loose? All I’m saying is I don’t think it’s really that big of a bad move on my part. I mean, how do I know that these strange deer things don’t secretly love the smell of bitter things or something?

 

Anyways, this deer wants to eat me.

 

I immediately tried to remove my roots, and to buy myself time I waggled around my tentacles menacingly, as if they were snakes or something hopefully way more dangerous! I’m scary! And inedible! Don’t eat me! Go away!

 

For a moment I thought my clever ruse had worked.

Only for a moment, though.

 

Before I could react, the deer stomped me in surprise. Yeah, no one’s prepared to get stomped by a giant hoof. No one. Especially not me. I was completely unprepared. I guess these deer really know how to handle their snakes. Thank god I had removed my roots already before that hit me, or I might have snapped a few of them. As I laid there stunned, feeling like my stem might be broken somewhere, the deer took a whiff of me. Unsurprisingly, when it realized that I was made of (I’m sure very delicious and nutritious) food, it did what anyone would have done. It took a bite out of me. Not even a small bite, either, to check if I was tasty. It took a big, hearty bite with its big hearty teeth. If I had lungs I would have screamed.

 

About a third of the leaves and petals on my right side had been chomped through, leaving only scraps and stems behind. It had even managed to pull away and sever the base of three of my tentacles on that side, as well. I once again waggled my remaining tentacles in fear and pain, which caused the deer on top of me to jump back a tad and look at me.

 

Where was this cautiousness when you just carelessly took a chunk out of me, huh?!

 

I could see that it was starting to raise its leg to stomp on me again, so I did the only thing I could think of. In the span of a second I opened my mouth, dipped my two remaining right side tentacles in my digestive juices, and whipped them against the deer’s unmoving front leg. It let out something between a shriek and a whinny as my strong stomach acids immediately went to work on its unsuspecting leg, and it crashed to the side before it could manage to stomp me again. My two tentacles were also being singed by my acids, but it stopped once it made it about halfway up to me. I used the opportunity to do the only thing I figured could save me as the other deer (deers?) began trotting in my direction to see what was wrong. I used my left side tentacles to fling me into the water, making a small splash as I left the herd of deer behind. There was no way they would follow me into water that suddenly became higher than their heads!

 

I was feeling pretty smart as I sank into the lake. Or at least, at first I felt smart, but eventually the fish that had been scared away by my initial splash started to get curious about me. I was leafy and delicious to all today, it seemed. I tried to hurry away, but it seemed swimming wasn’t going to work for me, much less with only one side of my tentacles to effectively work with. I was able to push myself forward through the water by pushing off about the bottom of the lake with my tendrils, but this wasn’t a very fast mode of transportation at all. This definitely wouldn’t be fast enough to get away from the natural born denizens of the water. In the end I had to swing my less as mobile singed right side tentacles to swat at any oncoming fish and scare them away.

 

At least fish were still fish.

…At this size anyways.

If a bigger fish decided to come along then there’s no way it could be fooled by my crappy play at defense.

And I could clearly see a few such big fish off in the distance…

Yup, this lake really isn’t safe.