I Am A Carnivorous Plant

I won’t lie. Although I knew I was totally being shameless, I’m not so shameless that I wouldn’t be willing to at least make a bargain, okay? Besides, it’s plain as day to see that this elf doesn’t want to take up my offer right now; It’s written all over his face!

 

I wiggled my tentacles in a hopefully soothing way to avoid misunderstanding, and kept talking.

 

=You’re still really hurt, right? Like I said, I couldn’t do very much to patch you up, so you’ve gotta be in a lot of pain right now. I’m in need of a bit of healing too at the moment, so why don’t we make a deal?=

 

The elf looked confused and wary on that handsome rugged face of his, but at least it seemed like he was thinking my words over, so that’s a start!

 

“...A deal?”

 

He said it like I was saying something completely absurd, but I’ll let that slide. I mean, if some spooky ripped up plant-monster masquerading as a person came up to me in my last life and said they wanted to make a deal… Yeah, there’s no way I’d believe it! …I’m gonna really have to plead my case here, aren’t I?

 

=Well… If you can give me some more meat or maybe some bones or something, then I can probably figure out how to heal you a bit more. That sounds good… doesn’t it?=

 

Ummm, the way his face is grimacing is making me worried. Did I say something wrong? Should I have said ‘food’ instead of meat? Is that why? He’s an elf, so maybe he doesn’t like hunting stuff or something? Maybe he only eats plants? But you can’t feed a plant to a plant! Oh, but the stuff he gave me just now was totally meat jerky, so he has to be willing to eat meat if he was carrying it! Or maybe they only eat meat that died of natural causes? But that’s going to be hard to find around here…

 

Ah, I’m being stupid anyways! Did I really think someone as injured as him was going to be able to hunt meat for me?! I don’t care how tall and strong he looks! His rugged charming features aren’t going to be able to kill prey on their own! He doesn’t even have a single weapon on him for christ’s sake!

 

…If he’s not going to be able to hunt, then…

 

=...I guess you could give me some of your blood instead? That should be enough…=

 

Hah, yeah, those were totally the wrong words to say! The way his pretty green eyes got all big in fear is hilarious, but that probably means he really doesn’t wanna give me any more of his blood. That’s such a shame, though, since I really liked it… Honestly, I could probably get a lot better if he just fed me more of that blood of his directly into my mouth, instead of just trying to soak it up through my roots.

 

Oh man, this is really becoming a ‘feed me seymour’ type of moment, huh?

But I’d hate to have to hurt such a hot elf and take it by force…

Although actually… Doesn’t that also sound kinda hot?

Wait a minute…

 

Maybe it was just to hide how terrified he was looking (which I’m sure I completely wasn’t helping with at all), but suddenly the elf bowed again, and spoke through his teeth.

 

“...If you can follow me, L’Lan’e’frea, I can bring you to a great amount of meat nearby.”

 

Oh really? There’s a bunch of meat nearby? How crazy lucky! What a lucky lucky plant I am! I can finally eat a lot and heal up, and a hot elf is gonna escort me there! Yay~! I guess he could tell that I agreed to his offer from the way I happily started wiggling the remains of my tentacles, because he started hurrying off in the direction that he’d first come from. It totally didn’t look like he was fleeing for his life from the big scary plant-monster, no siree!

 

Haha, wait hot elf, wait for me~!

Your friendly neighborhood plant needs to come along too!

 

My roots were still a bit bruised and bent, but at least they’d managed to fix up enough over the past weeks that they could just barely be used as legs. I wasn’t as fast as I would have liked, but I could still just barely catch up with the huffing injured elf, although I have to admit it was a bit of a struggle.

 

By the way, there’s that word again, ‘L’Lan’e’frea’. It’s been bugging me because I don’t know what it means. So far I’ve been able to understand most of what people have been saying, and it doesn’t sound like weird gibberish like when the orcs or goblins try to speak, so it can’t be that either, right? Either it’s fantasy jargon or it’s elvish, for sure! Although that would raise the question of why I can understand his regular speak, but not when he speaks elvish... How odd.

 

Ya know, since we’re taking our time walking to wherever anyways, why don’t I just ask?

 

=Hey, I have a question!=

 

I raised one of my tattered tendrils into the air, making the elf nearby me flinch. He’s looking really haggard in the face… Maybe I shouldn’t be asking him stuff when he’s already huffing so hard? Nah, but I don’t think a little bit of conversation should hurt him too bad, right? Ah, it’s so hard to remember how regular humanoid bodies work now… Screw it, I already started, so let’s just finish asking!

 

=What’s that ‘L’Lan’e’frea’ thing you keep saying?=

 

The elf’s face looked confused for a moment about why I wouldn’t know, but soon he nodded his head with understanding and slowly replied to me in-between huffs.

 

“It would make sense for you to not know if you’d never met with elves before. ‘L’Lan’e’frea’... It means ‘land freer’ in my language. It’s… what we call corpse plants like you, ever since the prophecy was received.”

 

Oh? Ooooh?! He knows what I am?!

 

=I’m a corpse plant?!=

 

He looked confused again, but he nodded quickly enough, so it seems that it was true. That’s crazy! I figured whatever I was was pretty rare since it took me so long to see another of my kind, but to think that this random elf I found knows what I am! Did… Did everyone I saw so far know? Was it just me who was in the dark about it? How shameful to be the only one not to know what I am!

 

No no, maybe only the elves know, since there was a whole prophecy and everything. But the fact that they have their own special word for us…

really makes me worried that everyone knowing might just be the case. Hrmm...

 

Well, if I wanna stop feeling left out, I guess I should start asking more questions! Like for instance-

 

=Okay, so then what’s a corpse plant?=

 

Oho, now his confused look has a frown added to it! I can’t blame him for looking like that, but damn does it sting a little bit.

 

“...Corpse plants are… Are you sure you don’t know?”

 

I wanted to say something sarcastic back, but that’s not a very good way to get someone to tell you something, so I just nodded my head as humanly as possible, which felt really weird since I don’t usually move my body that way. Judging from the way the elf was looking at me like I was part of some gross sideshow, I’m guessing I didn’t do too good of a job at it. Oh well, at least it got the point across, but I’m totally going to have to practice nodding and shaking my head later!

 

“Alright… Well, a corpse plant is a monster created through a very rare phenomenon. When something or someone with a large amount of magic in them dies in the forest, the energy of the forest begins to mix with the escaping magic from their corpse, and a corpse plant begins to grow, feeding on that magic. It usually starts out as a small shrub on the body, until it consumes enough of its host that it becomes able to fend for itself, and wanders off.”

 

Oooh yup, that does sound like what I started out as! So my mom’s corpse that I was born on was actually chocked full of magic or something? That’s amazing! …But if she had so much magic, then why did she die…? And in a place like that, no less!

 

“As the corpse plant begins to wander, it adapts to its surroundings, growing whatever they think they need to to survive in their current environment, so long as it’s something that its body can provide. Eventually, after those who managed to thrive in their environment grow enough, they begin to grow into their adult forms. These forms can vary wildly owing up to a number of factors from how they had to adapt, but typically the end result mimics whatever it was that they were first growing on or became conscious of, to a degree. Judging off of that, I’m guessing you… grew off of a woman?”

 

…What?

WHAT?!

 

…I look this way because of my mom?!

That’s the reason I looked so different from that treant guy?!

 

=I… don’t look like this so I can eat people?=

 

The elf gave me a wary look from the corner of his eye, looking a little doubtful. I guess I can’t really blame him, since I’m not in my full human look-alike glory right now, what with the shredding and tearing and all; Must not look all that convincing. Hopefully he has the common decency to not judge a plant who’s currently down on its luck just by its looks alone.

 

“Well… Yes, that’s not why you look the way you do, but it’s not wrong to say you were made to eat people. The forest creates L’Lan’e’freas- corpse plants, to protect itself from invaders, and humans certainly fall into that category, no? Besides, for something that survives off of nutrients and magic, I’m sure a healthy human would be right near the top of the list.”

_____

AN: Been trying to commission some cover art for this story, but it's been so hard QQ

To be fair, it's probably because I'm really picky, and what I want is a little difficult. Also cuz our lil plant has a bunch of stuff going on with her looks, lol. Still, the hunt goes on~