I Acquire Overpowered Traits Just By Taking Damage

"I am beginning to consider your company an inconvenience, Master Edmund," I said, spearing another piece of roasted chicken with the fork.

Also on the table was large clump of grapes, slices of soft cheese, and a whole large pie. It was the most luxurious dinner I'd had since jumping off that wretched bridge. But I wasn't exactly enjoying it.

I was growing weary of the one I was eating with. In just a single day, he'd managed to get himself in trouble — and not just with nobodies. First it was the baron's daughter, and earlier a viscount's son.

Then, to put the cherry on top, I'd just discovered the contents of the provisions he'd brought. Half of them would spoil by the second day, and the rest by the end of the week. Edmund lived in a port town but didn't think to ask around. Now we had to eat through his supplies immediately or watch them go to waste. And for the rest of the voyage, I'd have to share mine with him.

He shifted his gaze from the plate to me, looking genuinely surprised by my frustration — which only irked me more. He'd nearly gotten me splashed with water, and then had me punched in the face.

"I am so sorry to hear that, my lor—"

I palmed my face and glanced at the nearby tables in the small dining hall at the stern, worried someone might have overheard. The tables were close together, but the ship's creaks and the murmur of conversation provided just enough of a sound barrier.

"You keep calling me that, even though we agreed I'm supposed to be a baronet's son. I'd rather you call me by my name than that. What's a baronet but a glorified knight? We're more equal than we're not," I said in a low voice, but with a harsh edge.

It struck me that this was the first time I'd openly shown my frustration with someone. Normally, I swallowed my complaints and smiled through the suffering. Even as Edmund annoyed me, it felt… good to vent. This was what I'd hoped awakening an affinity at sixteen would do for me. And it did, though not in the way I'd planned.

Edmund finally put his spoon down, realizing I was serious. "If you say so, Lor— I mean… Devon."

I let out a heavy exhale and turned back to the food. I was already full, but there was still more on the table. The savory roasted chicken was beginning to taste like paper after too much of it, and I'd started to hate the texture of the fruits and the sweetness of the grapes. Still, letting them spoil would've been worse, so I chewed on. Thankfully, Edmund's appetite was bottomless, and he took care of most of the remains.

A while later, we sat heavily in our rickety chairs, nursing our bloated bellies. People were slowly streaming out of the room. The night was growing late.

That's when someone came in and walked straight to our table. Not a stranger — at least not to Edmund, who curled his nose as the man approached.

"Master Edmund… a pleasure to find you here," the man said, his words edged with a foreign accent. His leather armor, broad shoulders, and sword at his waist made him look every bit the mercenary. Likely employed by the Baron, since I thought I'd seen him escorting him on deck earlier.

"What's this about, Leofric? If this is about Lady Elena, I did nothing to her. She was the one threatening me. Is she making up stories again?" Edmund said.

Leofric nodded with a smile. "Yes, this is about Lady Elena. But I don't think she was making something up when she told the Baron you were mocking her."

"Well, she did it first," Edmund shrugged.

Leofric cleared his throat. "Even so, you shouldn't be disrespectful to your betters, Master Edmund. Even if she's an insufferable, whiny she-devil — daughter of the prince of hell himself."

"That she is…" Edmund huffed. "So what, are you here to punish me then?"

Leofric stroked his unkempt beard. "Sort of. The Baron, through Lady Elena, learned you were onboard. And since I can't guard both — because the lady's as restless as the wind — he wishes to reemploy you."

"I don't like where this is going," Edmund said dryly.

"He wants you as Lady Elena's personal guard."

"Nope."

"Come now. You've done this before. You endured guarding her for years, Master Edmund. This is nothing new."

"Endure is the word, Leo. She's the reason I begged the Baron to let me go," Edmund said, eagerly shaking his head. "Besides, I'm not free at the moment. I'm in the employ of Lord Devon here." He shot me a grin.

Leofric turned to me. I gritted my teeth, forcing a tight smile.

"I don't know why he calls me that. I'm no lord, and he's not in my employ. Frankly, I just met him here," I replied.

Leofric chuckled. "Skilled in arms, yes — but never too bright, Master Edmund."

"You—" Edmund turned to me in disbelief. "Why would you—"

"I see no reason you should refuse the offer… Master… uhm… Raymond, was it?" I said with a smirk.

"Edmund, young master," Leofric corrected, "And you must not be from around here not to know him. He's quite famous."

"Famous, you say?" I raised my eyebrows mockingly.

"A formidable axe-wielder," Leofric said.

"That I am," Edmund chimed.

"An infamous wife-stealer."

"I am merely an unwilling hostage of my manly beauty."

"Unparalleled at being terrible at cards."

"Not true. Just a frequent victim of cheating."

"Unbridled and poor in speech."

"Slander, you pickled herring!"

"And surprisingly… a notorious goat-shagger."

The chair screeched against the planks as Edmund furiously stood, pointing at Leofric. "That… that was just a misunderstanding!"

What an entertaining display. All my frustration had melted away.

"Whatever floats your goat— I mean, boat," I chuckled. "Master Desmond."