Chapter 41: The Decision
Commencing advancement trial!
Witness a past event in which a choice was made!
Passing this trial will break the level 25 bottleneck and allow for further advancement!
Good luck!
Everything faded away into darkness. One by one the stars winked out and the evening wind stopped blowing. Leif found himself floating in an empty void, it was absent of all defining features or characteristics. As the spriggan tried to concentrate on his new surroundings they once again began to shift.
His mind felt like it was being held underwater, all thoughts murky and distant. Voices echoed, as if spoken from a vast distance. Cracks of light formed in the void surrounding Leif, he twisted and turned to get a closer look but found that he couldn’t move.
Finally there was a flash of light and the world slowly came into focus. Leif blinked as his mind cleared and his surroundings came alive. He was… walking. Yes, he was walking down some sort of hallway. To his left were lines of pillars fronting a vast swath of vegetation.
But not like a forest, the plants are all in orderly positions, their branches cut into shape and leaves trimmed.
Where am I? He thought, mind spinning as he struggled to take in everything at once.
He was like a spectator in his own body. He could feel himself walk but not control his movements. What’s more he could feel the thoughts and emotions of the body he controlled, and, in a moment of pure ecstasy, Leif realised what was going on. It was his body, his past self that was still human.
Just the sensation of being in the correct body gave Leif such a strong sense of relief he could barely contain his excitement. But it also made clear just what he had lost. Just how far from what he should be he was now.
The world warped slightly and the scene shifted. Footsteps echoed off the polished stone floor. Two sets of footsteps.
“Leif! Leif stop for a moment and listen to me. Please, you're making a mistake.” Called a female voice.
“It’s not a mistake sis. It’s the right thing to do.” His past self responded, his voice confident and mind resolute.
“It’s not the right thing if it gets you killed Leif .” The young woman, Sis, snapped as she jogged to keep up with his longer strides. She had dark brown hair tied into a knot and tanned olive skin. Her dress was highlighted in the same gold and red as the banners hanging from balconies or the flags fluttering atop poles. “Listen to me for once! Please, am I Flavia Vin? Or some random stranger to you?”
Leif stopped and sighed. “Sis, this isn’t a mistake. Grandfather wouldn’t do-”
“He would! He would Leif.” Flavia said in an exasperated tone. “He would, because he did. He’s made his decision and that's final. Getting in the way is suicidally stupid.”
“The patriarch will see reason.” Leif said with a smile. “Besides, Loki’s been a valuable member of our house's staff for decades. Longer than we’ve been alive sis!”
He grinned as she scowled. “Stepping in is the right thing to do. Grandfather will see that.” Leif said and put a hand on Flavia’s shoulder and looked her in the eye. The woman was young. Observer Leif could instinctively place her age a few years younger than his own.
But how old am I? I should have asked Marcus and Sieg about how old they all are. Or would that have been weird? He contemplated. The spriggan was still mostly clueless about the intricacies of humanity, other than the minor fragments of memory and instinct that he had retained.
“It’s a scheme.” Flavia groaned. “Grandfather is doing this to give house Yerl an opening to gain face. Stepping in will anger both parties. And after the last incident you don’t have anything or anyone to protect you.” The young woman tugged away and glared at him.
“Well, the scheme is stupid so I’ll put a stop to it.” He said with a shrug. “And I don’t need protection, I’m the one who protects around here.” He continued striding down the passageway.
“You’re an idiot! I- I’ll get father. Don’t get killed!” She said and ran off in the other direction. The sound of her sandals striking polished stone echoed as they went separate ways.
===
Leif witnessed himself walk through the grounds of a grand estate, he marvelled at the sights, greedily absorbing every detail. He was brought back to the present when he felt his steps speed up. Leif rounded a corner and came across an alarming scene.
A group of three men in well fitted clothes and short blades at their hips surrounded an ageing man in servant's clothing. Leif had passed many servants on his way to this courtyard and could immediately recognise their different stations at a glance.
He could also tell that the three men weren’t in House Vin’s gold and red. Two of the men were grabbing at the man he assumed was Loki and beginning to get violent. Leif vaulted a low stone wall and entered the courtyard. “Gentlemen!” he called out. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Young lord.” The leader of the group said, stepping away from the old man and bowing at Leif’s approach. “We have discovered this trash has been insulting your great house and stealing from its vast estate. We of House Yerl were just about to put him down for his insolence.”
“Oh?” Leif said as if he didn’t understand. “But I don’t believe you.”
“What?”
“What?” Gasped the older man.
“Hey Loki. Did you do the things this man is accusing you of?”
“Only to help feed my-”
“See! Innocent! This is uncalled for!” Leif beamed.
The Yerl lackey, or whoever he was went red. “You- but-” He spluttered.
“Loki. I Leif Vin, of House Vin hereby pardon any and all allegations of slights against my person and my house done by you, however true or false they may have been.”
“You dare call us liars? Do you even know what's going on?” The man snapped.
“I do, but I don't care. Find honour and face somewhere else, there’s none to be found here.”
“This was a direct order from the Vin Patriarch!” The leader snarled, his tone low and dangerous. “You misjudge your standing boy.”
“Th-thank you young master…” The old man stammered out. One of the Yerl goons struck him across the face. Leif tensed, his vision going red, he stepped forward blade half drawn.
“That… that was very foolish.” He said slowly, in a tone to match that of the Yerl family member.
“Shut up boy. You’ve gone too far already.” The man growled, his eyes flickered down to Leif’s half drawn blade.
“A duel. For honour!” Leif replied, his words making all three men pause.
The leader smirked and straightened. “Instead of killing you, I’ll make you beg. Your patriarch won’t fault me either way, your reputation precedes you.”
===
Leif knelt before a seated crescent of elders. The other members of House Vin slowly filtered into the auditorium to witness the Patriarch's judgement. Whispers came from all sides, Leif caught snippets of his name being said.
He could feel their judgmental stares, their glances and their dissatisfaction. He thought he could make out Flavia in the crowd, but the glowing mana lights that backed the gathering made it hard to see.
“Silence.” Boomed a tired voice. Instantly all noise stopped. “I am not pleased, so let's make this quick. Before us is my grandson. He has directly interfered with decisions made by House Vin’s leadership and has humiliated us before a house of lower standing.”
The speaker was an aged man, his skin wrinkled and posture bent with age. Despite that the man possessed a presence that weighed Leif down like a physical force. “Once a deal is struck.” He continued. “We do not go back on our word. Leif, what do you say in your defence?”
“I-”
“Why did you knowingly defy my directives? Knowing that it was my will that allowed the events of yesterday to occur as they did?”
“It-”
“And why, praytell were the corpses of three House Yerl scions within the grounds of my estate?” At no point did the man’s voice raise, his volume consistent and stable. But the tension escalated with every word. Leif, both past and present could feel the crowd of observers begin to emotionally distance themselves from him.
Leif, the Leif spectating events through his past self, was confused. Why is the Patriarch asking questions but not letting me answer? But a feeling of grudging acceptance came from the kneeling young man.
He had seen family judgements before. Hells, he had been in this exact position several times, the disapproval of his family weighing down on his shoulders.
“Do you doubt my motives child? Do you foolishly believe yourself above my will? You have sabotaged an alliance with Yerl and made us, all of us, seem weaker to Varan as a whole. To think you are the son of my successor. Pathetic.” The Patriarch practically spat the final words, his voice finally rising.
The kneeling young man bristled, but Leif, the observer, perked up at the mention of Varan. He now knew where he was from, where he needed to go. It was like the final piece of an impossible puzzle had finally clicked into place.
“Father!” A new voice called. Leif could see a figure stand up from nearby the Patriarch. Hope filled his heart, he knew that voice. Or rather, only half of him did, to the Leif watching, this man was a stranger.
“You will address me by title in this place. Now be seated, I will pass judgement. The boy before us being your son will have no bearing on my decision. A traitor will be treated as a traitor.”
“He is your grandson.” The man said, his tone pleading but respectful. “Be merciful, his education is still incomplete.”
Son, grandson. The reality of the situation hadn’t quite struck him yet. This was his family, he belonged here! He had known logically who these people had been but only now did Leif truly comprehend just what he was seeing.
The concept of family wasn’t totally foreign to the spriggan. A new desire was seeded deep within, he wanted this, no, he needed this. Leif looked out at the watching crowd and knew that he couldn’t be whole without it.
How can I possibly return to this as I am? He thought, trying to imprint the faces of his family into his memory. An almost numb sense of melancholy settled on Leif’s shoulders. Reliving this, seeing what he had lost… It almost feels further away.
A primal longing to reclaim what he had lost almost made him miss the Patriarch's next words.
“Education was your responsibility, and besides… exile is a mercy. Maybe elsewhere he can be of some use. Now sit, you will have your chance to speak with the failure before us once we are done here.”
Exile?
===
Leif hesitated before knocking on the heavy doorframe of his fathers office.
“Enter.” Came an exhausted reply.
Leif swallowed and did so, stepping into the dimly lit room. The final hints of day disappearing over the horizon from the single ornately framed window. The evening sky outlined a middle aged man with weather worn skin and dark hair winged with silver.
The man, Leif’s father, had his head in his hands, his eyes sunken.. “It is… good to see you, my son.” He spoke through gritted teeth, the words carried an air of desperation and sadness.
“Yes, father.” Leif replied.
“Why? Why would you go against the family like that? You had to have known the results of your actions? The consequences.”
“I thought-”
“Did you? Did you really? Your sister thought, she thought for you Leif!” His father winced. “I’m sorry, I should have warned you in advance, not let you discover what was happening on your own.”
“It's not your fault. Father, I… I just couldn’t stand by and let it happen. Why would Grandfather even do something like that? Loki was a loyal custodian, he didn’t deserve to be treated like some disposable pawn.” Leif argued.
“He stole from the estate, that isn’t loyalty, Leif.”
“Why was he forced to steal to begin with?” He said. “The servants wear rags, their cheeks are sunken. Compared to only a few years ago… it doesn’t seem fair at all.”
His father sighed. “The Patriarch uses what resources are at his disposal, and he uses them for the best interests of the house.”
“The house? What about its members?” Leif asked in desperation. “Why are we so accepting of the wrong course of action? You taught me that House Vin is honourable, that we do the right thing? I hate it. I can’t- I just…”
“When you are older.” His father said carefully. “You will come to understand the necessity of what we do.” To Leif’s ears it sounded as if the man was trying to convince himself.
That wasn’t the right answer, and both father and son knew it. They fell into an uncomfortable silence.
The Leif who was observing could feel the distance between his past self and his family grow with every passing moment. It was like a rope, fraying in the middle as it was pulled taut from opposite directions, a moment away from snapping.
With a sinking feeling he knew the outcome of this conversation, and the fate that would befall the young man he had once been. Leif began to struggle, to try and break free.
If I can say something else, make a different decision. Maybe… maybe I won’t lose everything again.
“What will happen to Loki? Will Grandfather let House Yerl kill him anyway?” The past him asked, unaware of his future self’s plight.
“No… Loki has been sent to a border estate… You will never see him again.” The older man said, not meeting Leif’s eyes.
“I see. That's… good.”
Another silence.
“What about me? Where will I be sent?”
“The military. You may be on the younger side but the Varan army is always looking for officers and you meet their initial requirements. The Enslaved have been more active these past few months, the king suspects that a war may break out.”
“An invasion?”
His father nodded grimly.
“I… see. So I’ll be a soldier then? For the rest of my life?” Leif asked bitterly. “Though maybe it would be for the best.”
“No. Not the rest of your life. Ten years was what the Patriarch chose, and I think it’s a good amount of time. It will give you time away from the house and its politics, time to see the world and grow into yourself…”
“I see.”
“But Leif, you have made enemies these past few years, and even more when we consider the past few days. House Vin will be making it clear that you no longer have our blessings and protections. You will be a target. Our house’s rivals will see this as an opportunity to strike.”
“I see… It’s not just exile? It’s a test?” Leif asked. His father nodded stiffly in affirmation. “So I'll have to prove myself then. Show them that I’m not an easy target.”
His father’s eyes softened. “I have been ordered to provide you with nothing but the bare essentials to make it to the capitol. Though nothing can undo the inheritant class I bestowed upon you, not if they don’t want to cripple you. As harsh as this sounds you must leave before first light. Now would be best, do not linger.”
“Right… What about-”
‘LEIF! YOU DAMN IDIOT!” Flavia yelled as she burst uninvited into the office. “You’re an idiot, you’re stupid and I hate you.” She said, gripping his shoulders as he remained seated, violently shaking him so his head rocked back and forth. “You better not die! You better come back! If you die I’ll kill you!”
“R-right, you got it sis.” He laughed, rocking in place from her assault. Even his father smiled slightly.
“Don’t you dare not come back. I don’t want to inherit your responsibilities for the family, you have to do it.”
I’m sorry. Her words pained both past and present Leif.
“Wow, now I think I’ll go out of my way to die in a ditch somewhere.” Leif joked, then he stood quickly, nodded at his father and made for the door. She grabbed the back of his red and gold cloak.
I’m so sorry.
“Please come back.” He could hear the tears in her trembling voice. “It won’t be the same without you. So come back alive. Promise me Leif!”
“Yeah,” He said, not looking back. “You got it, I promise.”
He doesn’t know what he is letting go.
And then he left, stepping out of the office, leaving family behind. Leif walked quickly down the attached hallway and away from his father and sister. Details of the world began to fade away, leaving only the light at the end of the hallway clearly visible. Something latched onto Leif’s shoulder and pulled him back.
No, don’t go. If you go you’ll never come back.
The man grunted and shrugged off the restraints. Another force grabbed him, halting him mid step.
Please. If you leave you’ll lose everything. You’ll lose yourself.
Leif struggled against the grasping limbs, hands. Another wrapped around his leg, then his throat. With his every attempt at escape the grip only tightened. Sweat beaded on the young man’s face, his eyes narrowing in concentration.
You have everything you want right here. There must be something you can do, you can still change things.
Leif thrashed against the immovable force stopping him from leaving. He writhed and pulled, trying with all his might to take just one more step. Tears began to well up in his eyes, fear and loss and desperation all threatening to spill out, he had been so careful to keep them in check.
Just stop, if you're going to die at least do so without abandoning everything.
He screamed and took one final step, parts of his restraints fell away. A thousand hands all grasping for him, tugging him back and threatening to engulf him in their embrace, swallow him whole.
Leif noticed for the first time that he was no longer possessing his former self. The spriggan hovered overhead, watching as the man he had once been was prevented from making the mistake of leaving his life behind.
The trial world started to crack, white light shone through fractures in reality as everything began to break apart.
It’s better this way. I’m happy with this. I belong here. I want to be here.
The struggling human’s head snapped up in Leif’s direction. Tears streamed down his suntanned face, long dark hair was tugged back by unwavering hands. The spriggan flinched as their eyes met. Defiance, rage, pure unfiltered fury bore into him from below.
Who are you to make that choice for me? Those eyes said, dark brown spearing into glowing amber. At least if I die, I’ll do so without giving up.
But we didn't come back. We failed to keep our promise. Giving up in this situation is normal, it's the right thing to do.
We can still try! Try to come back! Those eyes said, pleading.
And then Leif realised. The hands holding his past self back, stopping him from moving forward. They were made of wood. Four fingers, sharp clawed tips.
Come back? How could we? Is that even a possibility as we are now?
The man’s gaze softened, as if in recognition of future pain. It won’t be easy.
The world continued to crumble away, the cracks in reality almost reaching the man below. Leif steadied himself, then made a choice. He felt his heart break, loss like a mortal wound to his soul.
His resolve firmed. If he wasn’t ready yet, he would make himself ready. There had to be a way, a way to turn back.
I can still try.
Yes.
I can’t give up yet.
Fight for it. The dark eyes said.
Fight. I can do that. The golden gaze replied.
Then Leif let go. His former self burst free from the wooden restraint and ran with all his strength. As he raced forward the trial shuddered, threatening to collapse. The fabricated reality shattered with every step. The spriggan watched the man he had once been sprint into the light.
Everything went white, and the trial ended.