Chapter 217: Icetronic
As it turned out, digging a half ton dragon out of a snowdrift was really fucking hard work. Especially when you didn't even have a goddamn shovel. He was sweating quite badly by the time Nik finally managed to wrench free a wing, and with some effort the second one soon followed.
Tom let himself fall back into the snow for a little rest. Now that his wings were free, it was the dragon's job to actually get himself out, and Tom needed a quick rest.
"Next time don't fold your wings up," Tom scolded, shaking his head.
"But then I wouldn't have got to see you play around in the snow," Nik retorted with a big dumb grin before pulling himself out with seemingly very little difficulty, wings spreading the weight nicely.
"Wait, you did this on purpose?"
"I would never... Oh also stand aside, please. I need to go that way," Nik retorted, pointing towards where Elsara still had not left her tree, watching them with evident glee. Tom, in a bid to forget she existed, had sat down with his back to her and was between the dragon and his supposed destination.
Tom's shoulders sagged as he got back up, trudging over to the side of the dragon through the deep, but now partially compacted, snow.
'Shouldn't he have been able to pull his wings in close to free them from the snow?... Oh the fucking bastard.'
"You should, like, stand over there," Nik said, pointing off to the side even more. "It will get very cold where you are now."
"I am already cold, and wet too now," Tom complained as he kept moving slowly out of the dragon's forward arc. "What are you gonna do, blow the snow away?"
"Nooo nooo, much better… Why are you wet?" Nik questioned as Tom made it back to the dragon's side.
"Because I am hot-blooded, and now I'm sweating… also the snow is melting," Tom replied, putting some snow on his cheek for emphasis. The powder quickly melted away, an icy trickle running down his cheek and into his beard, where it would likely soon be ice again. "We get very hot when working hard, like I just did to free your sorry ass."
"Oooh, I've never seen that before. That must be annoying." And then, without further chit chat, the dragon let loose a slow stream of that frosty breath of his right across the top of the snow. It rolled onwards like a cold white fog, turning anything it touched into ice instantly. "And nooooow."
With a heave of his wings, Nik hoisted himself up onto the newly created sheet of ice, cracking and splintering ringing out crisp in the cold air as he started to slide forward, paddling like a child on a wakeboard. Yet more of the frosty breath paved the way as Tom watched dumbfounded.
'He's like a model train making his own railway…'
It did not take long before Nik had covered the distance to the more solid ground provided by the leafy tree cover, standing back up on all fours and looking back at Tom with a shit eating grin. "Hey! You are supposed to be over here now!"
Tom cursed to himself, looking at the slightly cracked and ruined sheet of ice then glancing to the thick snowdrift that lay beyond before deciding the ice was probably the way to go.
Stepping into the hole the dragon had made for himself when he landed and climbing up the freshly compacted snow he laid down on his chest atop the ice sheet, Tom wondered just what was his best course of action right now. Trying his luck, he stood up at the center of the sheet where the dragon's belly scales had roughed it up enough for at least a little bit of grip. Then, slowly, step by step, he started to follow the improvised ice rink towards the dragon.
He nearly stumbled a few times, but each time he managed to save it despite looking like a movie act once or twice.
Nik certainly found it entertaining, Elsara's laughter joining in. Tom looked up after a particularly perilous episode that had him wishing for steel studs on his boots to find she had descended from her tree and was sitting pretty on the dragon's back, legs crossed and laughing her tail off at his expense.
"Youuuu, I will have revenge when you have to fight Rachuck again. I'll help him this time," Tom grumbled to himself, not caring if they could hear as he resumed his slow advance, taking care where he stepped.
Then he heard the flap of wings once more; he looked up from his careful work to find Elsara standing on the ice next to him looking smug as a bug.
"What's the matter? Bit slippery?"
Looking back down, he cursed under his breath at her clawed feet next to his, talons having no trouble finding purchase on the ice sheet.
"So unfair."
"Of course, but hey, I'm not the one who believed a white dragon got stuck in the snow."
"You're being an arse right now. A proper arse."
"Oh don't be such a downer, just having a little fun. Like you had when that damn captain of yours humiliated me the first time around."
"You're the one who talked shit. And I even helped you out afterwards."
"And you were the one who decided to come along out here, cause you're good at snow. Best of luck, slippy toes."
"That's it. I'm making myself some damn snowshoes and some boot studs. For future icy adventures."
"Adventure? Dude we're like 2 hours away from your home. This is an adventure by 5 year old standards at best."
"I'll show you fucking adventure then. Well at least if Kalestine decides to come bitching again. Also how the hell are we actually gonna get to those damn trees? They are buried in snow," Tom remarked, looking out across the very pretty looking half clearing. All the trees sticking up looked about like what he would consider a suitable Christmas tree for the living room, but there was clearly quite a lot more tree underneath.
"Oh Nik will dig them out," Elsara dismissed. "You only need one right?"
"I am not dragging back any more than one tree, and it better be a tiny one or he should have stayed home," Nik objected, levelling a claw at Tom. "Or this strange stuff you brought."
"Oh you'll see what that's for, just dig out a tree. I dug you out already."
"That was pretty funny," Nik chuckled before starting to look for a suitable tree, not too far from the edge of the massive snowdrift the pines had managed to collect. "Is that one okay?" he questioned, pointing at a smallish looking evergreen that did look quite nice, at least the part that could be seen.
"Sure that seems fine. Dig it out, I'll chop it down," Tom sighed, going to sit down with his back to one of the leafless beech trees that lined the small pine clearing.
"What, you wanna borrow one of my axes?" Elsara joked, shaking her head, arms perpetually crossed.
"Nope, but we'll get to that when we get there," Tom said, leaning back and getting as comfortable as he could. "Wake me up if there are any wolves or other stuff to shoot."
He didn't actually plan on sleeping and he couldn't even really afford to stay still for too long or he would freeze thanks to the sweat and melt water.
"As you command, sir," the young dragonette replied mockingly, giving Nik a nod to begin.
The dragon stuck his tongue out at her in reply but began excavating a path to the tree, moving great big swaths of snow aside with each swipe of his forelegs.
Tom just sighed at how dumb he had been for falling for a bloody ice dragon of all things being stuck in the snow. Sometimes, he truly still was an engineer at heart. For better and worse.
It did still take Nikolas a fair amount of time to not only get to the tree but also to clear out the snow around the base of it. The dragon was being careful not to damage the tree. Tom had told them the thing was for decoration after all. They had naturally both complained about wasting time on a decorative tree, but he was the one paying them, so he had the final say.
When the evergreen was finally dug free Nik stepped back a few paces before deciding to set about playing in the snow a little, adding to his existing ice rink and reinforcing the slightly broken original one so he could slide about.
It looked like good fun to Tom as he approached the tree one slow step at a time before inspecting the lower half for any terrible damage or bald spots. To his eyes it looked like a nice symmetrical one so it was time for chopping.
"Hey Elsara, could you get that strange looking yellow and black box with the, umm, sorta blade like thing sticking out of it I brought," Tom questioned as he looked to the dragon who was busy with his ice rink project.
"I will see if I can keep him still long enough," Elsara joked before quickly hopping up onto the ice and jogging to the dragon's side, relieving him of the precious cargo that had been strapped to the harness.
She brought it to Tom with some evident skepticism on her face. She had no idea what it was, but she was clearly interested.
Tom took the saw and removed the chain guard revealing the many sharp metal teeth of the chainsaw.
"What is that?" Elsara questioned, bending down to study the chain itself.
"It's a chainsaw. I wouldn't keep my head that close if I were you," Tom offered with a chuckle before setting about fiddling with the fuel and choke.
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He certainly had Elsara's attention, now he just hoped the damn thing would start.
'Fingers crossed, I know you're the cheap one but come on partner.'
He yanked on the cord a few times. Elsara looked quite surprised after the first pull, but after that she just crossed her arms again and started to look smug.
"Something the matter?"
"Old gas and time in storage I think. Shouldn't be bad yet though, it's only E5."
"What, it runs on farts?"
"Noooo it doesn't. Just wait and see," Tom said, giving the cord another yank to no result.
"Oh I'm waiting. What is that thing even made o-"
With a great scream and a cloud of two-stroke smoke, the saw finally sprang to life. Tom was quite liberal with the throttle to ensure it didn't die on him right away.
He looked to a shocked Elsara, who took a few steps back this time, arms moving to her side like she was ready to run. Nik too stopped in his tracks, or rather mid-track construction to look over, raising his head as high as he could to see.
Once Tom was confident the saw was up and running properly he let off the gas and looked to her, laughing. "There we go! Right, let's get this over with."
He stepped up to the tree and with a single quick cut of no more than a second or two the tree was liberated from the stump, falling gently against the side of the hole Nik had dug for them. And with that Tom shut the saw back down again.
"I love the smell of two-stroke oil in the morning."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" Elsara exclaimed once she regained her senses. "It just ate that tree!"
"It's a chainsaw, that's what they are for," Tom replied, playing dumb as he put the chain guard back on his beloved saw. So many funny faces, the gifts that kept on giving.
"That's… but… holy shit man."
"Pretty good right?" Tom questioned, watching as Nik slid his way back over to them.
"What is it?"
"He's got some sort of screaming devil in a box that eats trees."
"No no, no devil here. Just uhm… Magic, I guess."
"No wonder you weren't scared, that would eat through armor and everything I think."
"Nah not really. It's a tool not a weapon, damn scary though. In the dark, when you don't know I'm coming, hehe," Tom chuckled. "No, if I wanna kill someone I shoot them, we've been over this."
"Yeah yeah, fire mage. Gotcha there. But that thing is so much more than a bit of fire magic. Those guys usually just manage to singe you a bit, unless they got some of those nasty potions. That uhm… That's what I heard at least."
"Well I ain't that kind… Actually I guess I never showed you, did I?"
"I uhm… would maybe, uhm."
"Relaaaax not against you. Why would I come out here if I wanted to hurt you?" Tom said, putting the saw down and drawing a revolver from its holster. It was a bit of a faf with the gloves on. 'Since we're having fun.'
He turned and took aim at a branch that he thought was the one Elsara had been sitting on laughing at him before and fired a single round. The crack rang out and even echoed through the quiet forest for a bit. He missed the target, but it wasn't like she knew what he had been aiming at.
Turning back to look at them, both were covering their ears, looking quite shocked.
"Boom chakalaka."
"Yeah… I can see how that might, uhm… hurt."
"Goes clean though most armor at whatever range I can manage to hit you at. So if someone is asking, just say. He points and you're dead. You know, in case you end up visiting any bars or taverns in the near future."
Elsara just nodded slowly, gears evidently turning inside her head. She didn't look scared, but she was definitely thinking.
Nik had a slightly different take. "That's so fucking cool man. And that's coming from a white dragon."
"Thank you, Nik. Speaking of cool, what is it you have been working on there? Looks like a track to me."
"It's an ice rink. Just wanted to have a bit of fun. Been inside for so long you know? Ever since the curse happened we'd go play in the snow together, we always have it all to ourselves."
"Now you're talking my kind of language. Even Jarix was only good for a few hours before he ended up stiff as a plank," Tom burst out, already pondering what trouble one could get into with a living snow and ice machine in the midst of winter.
"Hah, skinny blues… that was the blue yeah? But you sure man? No offence but," Nik gestured at Tom's whole person, which had Tom raising both hands above his head in protest.
"Dude, I've never seen anyone look that dumb on a sheet of ice before," Elsara added, crossing her arms and shaking her head. "But hey if you wanna try again I'll be happy to laugh some more."
"You know, back home we used to attach blades to our feet and skate around on the ice when, say, a lake froze over."
"Yeah right, and you decided to have a bath when you fell through cause you're so heavy."
"Some would, yeah. Also fuck you, just cause you're built like a flimsy branch," Tom fired back jokingly.
"Oh yeah? Well at least I don't fall over just cause the ground is a bit slippy. Go on then. Show us what you got, mister I love the ice and snow."
Tom grumbled a little and turned towards the nearest section of the half finished track and started waddling with a purpose.
"Well I ain't got no ice skates, but we would sled down hills if that counts. Jarix made an excellent sled."
"Oh I would have loved to see that. A soldier dude skidding down a hill with you on his back."
"Well you ain't gonna unless you stick around."
"Hell no man, this'll be good enough," the dragon concluded as Tom clambered up onto the ice, not entirely sure what he was planning on doing there if he was frankly honest.
"I really need to make some snow studs."
"Is every problem you have fixed by something else? It is starting to sound like a theme," Elsara joked as Tom did his best not to fall over, arms and legs spread wide as he made his way towards the dragon.
"No no, he's doing it, look he's so graceful," Nik added with all the sarcasm that he was able to muster.
"Hey I'm trying here!" Tom complained as he carried on. He had developed a plan by now, and it was gonna be fun… he hoped.
"I have seen more steady toddlers, dude. You look like you've been drinking all night after your girl ran off with the kids."
"Ironic coming from the kids who ran off," Tom countered, sitting down in front of Nik very carefully, with his back to the dragon. "Right push me."
"I ain't your dad, I won't push you away," Nik chided, Tom rolling his eyes.
"I ain't got claws. I got no grip, but I can definitely bobsled!" Tom said, hoping he was getting his point across. Looking at the half-arsed track Nik had put in a bit of a bank on the corners, hopefully it would be enough to steer him on his ass.
"Brave fucker ain't he, send it Nik!" Elsara proclaimed, having caught on well enough.
"Ooooh I get it, right right I'll do it," Nik responded as Tom felt a shadow cast over him. The dragon stood and for some reason and started turning around.
Tom twisted to look back, unsure just what the dragon was up to as he felt a thick scaly tail wrap itself halfway around his waist.
"Uhhh what are you- oh no"
All Tom could do was pray and hold onto his socks as Nik pulled him back and forth a few times like a small child might with a matchbox car on the carpet, and then Tom was flung towards the first corner with entirely too much speed.
"Yeeeeee shiieeeeeee-" the poor human exclaimed as the corner bank became a ramp, launching him into the air. After nearly a dozen feet of flight he came crashing back down in the soft pillowy snow.
It took a moment for him to calm his breathing, heart pounding in his chest as he shot back up like some sort of guardian gnome and looked back at the pair of laughing locals.
"FUCK YEAH! Again, better ramp this time!"
Nik and Elsara stared for a moment. Apparently that wasn't the reaction they had expected, but after the moment of shock Nik grew a big grand smile. "Oh, you asked for it!"
---
After a few more test runs of varying velocity Nik had kept building till he was completely out of juice. But the results had been epic, at least in Tom's mind. His inner 9 year old was besides himself: who didn't want a dragon that wanted to play in the snow?
They had started with a nice big jump, which had worked for a while. Unfortunately Tom landing repeatedly did eventually compact the snow too much for a good landing, much to his ass's dismay. With the human jumping olympics abandoned due to landing difficulty Nik had finished his track and the experimentation began.
Tom had no control over anything at all as he was flung around the course again and again. This was how he imagined it was like to be a Hot Wheels car when a friend came over. At least there wasn't a sofa for him to fly under and be forgotten about for years.
Not that Nik would forget. The dragon was having so much fun playing with his new toy and modifying his track that he had started to come fetch the human when he flew off the track, which was nice. But the track wasn't exactly completely smooth. There were plenty of bumps, cracks, and the odd small hole or two which really really hurt when you ran over it.
It had been great fun, but Tom could only take so much punishment. Luckily Elsara had been willing to give it a go a few times as well after Tom had proven the concept. He was wishing he had her armor, but even so she found a few tries to be plenty. She had this annoying habit of braking with her wings too, which upset poor Nik's careful tailtip-based speed calculations.
When the two stand-in hotwheels had both called it quits, Nik had taken a few laps around himself, which had been the original purpose after all. The dragon hadn't expected them to only take 15 seconds to deal with the tree, so his plans for self-entertainment had been extensive, but Tom sure wasn't complaining. He was already wondering if he could put together a sled for back home in case they ended up making a bobsled run v2.0.
Tom did get to ride along as the dragon had his fun which was a different experience to be sure. It had rather quickly ruined the track, but what could you do? By the time they were all done having their fun the sun had started to kiss the top of the trees and the temperature was dropping quite quickly. In a hurry they had lashed the small Christmas tree to Nik's harness, laying it perpendicular across his back behind the saddle like some sort of christmassy sleeping bag and the trio set off. Elsara took off first before Nik's charge into the air damaged the ice rink any more.
"Right then, homeward bound," Tom called out as they watched Elsara climb away into the still bright sky.
"Yeah this was like, sooo worth the trip. Gotta get you some snow claws man."
"Studs, but yeah, agreed. Come back next year and I'll have it all sorted, that's a promise."
"I'll try to remember if we're like in the area or something. Fuck, right she's not stopping, get on man."
Tom obliged, clambering up into the saddle, trying not to wince as sore muscles protested. He had barely sat his ass down before Nik set off down the straightest part of the track and leaped into the air, wings beating hard to carry them up and over the trees.
Once free of the canopy the wind was brutal. It had definitely picked up while they had been shielded by the forest. Tom huddled close to the dragon's back, acutely aware of just how far it was to home and that, thanks to all the exertion, he was still nice and wet.
'Oh this is gonna suck so fucking bad.'
---
"Oh would you quit with the fairy tales and just tell the truth?!" Rachuck exclaimed.
The captain had not been very happy with just how long their quite simple mission had ended up being, not to mention the condition of Tom once they had all returned. His teeth had been clattering uncontrollably, his goggles had actually frozen over, and he didn't have any feeling left in his fingers to try and pry them off, so when he tried to dismount he had been pretty much blind.
That is to say he had just sorta fallen off Nik's back and landed with a crunch of shattering ice. Both Nik and Elsara winced.
"Nah dude, we just went and had some fun in the snow, man. That's like all we did… then there was a bit of a cloud in the way home you know. Really low, full of water. And I think he, like, got coated in ice. I thought it would just melt off him, right? Cause he's, like, warm blooded."
"Not quite that warm," Tom protested from the bench Rachuck had kindly dragged over for him. He was trying his best to rub some warmth back into his hands. It had taken over two hours to get home, but at least they hadn't hit the truly shit weather till the final stretch.
"Yes, this was all extremely reckless, you should have come home right away!" The captain ordered a rather uncomprehending Nik.
"But, the cloud was on the way home. I ain't like a weather sage or something, I just fly when it's cold dude. But you should have seen him. He flew so fucking far on the jump. It was great, and he can't slow down or save himself, hehe."
Rachuck just glared at the dragon, unable to come up with a suitable comment.
"In Nik's defence, it was definitely Tom who always wanted to go again," Elsara added, coming to her companion's aid.
Rachuck shifted his gaze to the half-frozen and quite battered human. He didn't even ask if it was true, he knew it was.
Tom just held up his arms defensively, ice flaking off his jacket and falling to the floor. "What? It was fun."
"Your definition of fun continues to elude me."
"What, sparring hurts too. And it's as close as humans get to flying on their own," Tom joked, Rachuck crossing his arms with an unimpressed expression on his face.
"What if you had been more seriously injured? We have no healers at the moment. I could do very little to help you."
"Relaaax, kids do this sorta thing all the time. Just you know… without the dragon."
"Just… could you try to keep yourself in one piece at least?"
"I'm here aren't I? Hehe… Also, have you got any hot soup?"
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