Humanity's #1 Fan

It took them less than an hour to pore over the guidebooks and address every point of confusion they could find. After that, it was time for one final brief.

Our story, Dazel said, is that we looted an abandoned human base on Primeval Karaz after the attack on Fallen Harana failed. The humans set up on Primeval Karaz with the intent of settling in and farming, hence why we have such an eclectic spread of goods.

But don't tell anyone that unless they trade you for the info, Ashtoreth added.

Right, said Dazel. And remember, the only reason you look like elves instead of devils is because you can't sign contracts that way. It's perfectly normal for an infernal to make a binding agreement when trading goods or information.

"Basically, even a devil becomes a member of the most trustworthy species in the cosmos once you've got them under a good contract!" said Ashtoreth.

"Which is why Ashtoreth and I are splitting up," Dazel said. Then he looked at her. "That's right, right?"

"That's right. Anyone with a soul can make a contract with an infernal, but only Dazel and I know how to read or write them properly. One teleporter and one contractor for each group. I'll take Kylie and Sadie, you take Hunter and Frost."

"You sure?" Frost asked.

Sure, she said, flashing him a smile. Sadie's got [Warp] and [Spellcasting], so she's got the fastest, furthest escape. That means she comes with me, since I'm the VIP. You can stay with the other group because your [Protection] will actually help give them the extra time to get out if something goes wrong.

"Yeah, okay," Frost said. Just figured you might want me around for my [Moment of Solace] in case any heavy hitter came for you.

It was his temporary invincibility skill. Technically, all it did was multiply his [Defense] stat by an absurd number for a brief period, but that was functional invincibility against all but the most powerful enemies. Even Morax Tol's supercharged assaults hadn't been enough to phase him when it was active.

Nah, she said. At this point, even a very high level enemy won't be able to swat me that easily. Dazel hooked me up with some good spells.

…As I promised I would.

Ashtoreth laughed. Yes, we know Dazel. She grumbled. I just wish I actually got to use them.

"All right everyone," Dazel said. "Outer markets typically have their own currency, and this place is no exception. Here, we've got something called chitt."

"An interesting choice of name," Sadie said.

"I like it, though," Ashtoreth said. "And it's one syllable that you can practically make just by clicking anything together. Very inclusive, if you ask me."

"More importantly," Dazel continued. "Converting even something as universally valuable as monster cores doesn't give the same return just anywhere."

Kylie let out a humorless laugh. "Even the guidebook says that if we trade our cores out for chitt up here, we'll get ripped off."

"It'll be useful to look around and find a better return on conversion," said Dazel. "But let's not trade away any cores until we've scoped out the soulweaver. My soul map won't be cheap—just the crystal needed to store the relevant information will be expensive, let alone the service. Still, there's always the chance we can trade cores for it, even if that chance is low."

Plus, he added mentally. It's going to be very, very obvious where everybody got several infernal armies worth of cores from. Maybe they'll think we're just here on behalf of the Eldunar, but anyone with knowledge of how these things works will know that we've been fighting off invaders.

"Financing and getting the soul map is priority one," said Ashtoreth. "Priority two is getting any information that can lead us back to the so-called, uh…" Pinnacle. "So ask around for people who are really old."

"Really old," said Dazel. "Especially if they've been around the cosmos." With telepathy, he added, I've never heard of humans before, and that means that they'd faded from history by the time I was born.

"Which was how long ago?" Frost asked.

"Millenia. I don't want to be more specific."

"Heh," Kylie said. "Never ask a knowledge demon his real age."

"Let's just suppose that we're not going to learn anything from someone younger than five thousand," said Dazel. "Ask around, but maybe let's try and stay focused. If we go younger, then our search pool is just going to get too wide."

"Reasonably," said Ashtoreth. "And our third priority is the most fun, even if it's least important. It's that we use any excess wealth to get upgrades. Now, most of us are still wearing the name-bearing items that the system granted in our scenarios for soloing the designated bosses. Those are pretty good."

"Pretty good?" Sadie asked. "You guys are ridiculous."

"A handcrafted item at the proper level can be even more beneficial than those for the same budget in binding strength," said Ashtoreth. "But we can all equip more right now anyway, because we've leveled past 300. The real good news, though, is that an actual artificer can make highly specific items. We don't have time to order anything bespoke… but I don't think we'll need to. When it comes to what's good, there are certain constants."

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"Like anything that gives me a better [Moment of Solace]," said Frost.

"Yep! Invincibility's good."

"Or anything that helps me teleport or increases my bullshit penetration," said Hunter.

"Quite so, Sir Wolfhard!" Ashtoreth said, grinning.

"When did I become a sir?"

Dazel snickered. "Probably when Ashtoreth realized that if she turns you all into knights, that completely superficial distinction will nonetheless create a greater sense of obligation toward her."

"Hey!" she said. "I'm just being nice."

"You can knight people?" Sadie asked.

"Actually," she said, raising a finger. "By Hell's rules, I've actually got two separate means of dispensations. I can make Knights of Earth and Knights of the Innermost Circle. But by Hell rules, both are symbolically responsible toward my father."

"I feel like knights have armor and stuff," said Hunter.

"Yeah," said Sadie. "He's more like… a ronin or something."

Dazel started laughing. "Veering away from… that…" he said, "Kylie?"

"Mm?"

"Do you know what you're looking for?"

"...Yes?" she said, looking up. "You don't remember?" Turning to the rest of them, she added, "Dazel gave a list of phylactery-capable reagents I should look out for," Kylie said. "Because he apparently knows how to do that, too."

"I've served masters who fought liches and masters who were liches," he said. "Though the latter didn't last long."

"So sad," Kylie said.

"It really wasn't."

"What happened?"

"They killed me," he said. "Look, there's really not a story here."

"Come on, Dazel," Kylie said flatly. "You're normally so easy to get along with—what could have made a lich, of all things, want to end your life?"

"Kylie's going for the phylactery," Dazel said, turning to the rest of them, "because respawning is pretty overpowered. And Ashtoreth?"

"Not a clue!" she said. "I feel like I'm the kind of gal who wants hyper-specific magic items. Like this." She pulled her locket out and let it rest on her chest. "So if I pick up anything, it'll be one of those thingies that mages get for more spell slots."

"Atta girl," Dazel said.

Ashtoreth raised an eyebrow at him, and he sheepishly added, "Uh, boss."

"We good to break?" she asked. "I don't know all of what you guys brought, but it's looking like we'll have to search for awhile just to find the best place to sell our plastics and knick-knacks. I'm thinking my half will start on tier 18. They've got textiles!"

Frost shrugged. "May as well get to it. We've all still got our telepathy rings, so it's not like we'll be out of contact."

"Hey," said Hunter. "I'm just noticing now that we've split by gender."

"Say, you're right!" said Ashtoreth. "That means that if we come back with more chitt, we've proven that girls are better than boys!"

"And we win, boys are better?" Hunter asked.

"Dude, don't be fucking misogynist," said Kylie. "Anyway, let's fuck off. I'm already real life rich, but now I want to be alien rich."

"Wait a second," Frost said. "What do you mean, real life rich? When did you get rich?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "How did you get rich?"

"You guys follow me when you're ready," Kylie said, rising into the air and moving into one of the glowing purple lanes that marked the flyable areas of the sky.

"I'm ready!" Ashtoreth said. "I'm ready now!"

"Hold up," said Sadie. "I can't even fly yet." She started flipping through her guidebook. "I have to use this address thing… every tier is like a clock with sixty-six hourmarks… one sec."

"You want any help?" Dazel asked.

"No, I gotta know how to do it myself…" she muttered. "I learn better if I don't get help until I need it."

They watched as she pulled out her stele, then spent a minute drawing temporary runes in the air around, erasing them several times.

"I think that's it," she said, nodding down at her runes.

What followed was a burst of noise as everyone, including Ashtoreth, started to point out the only mistake she'd made in one of her pointer runes. Sadie didn't look pleased.

"All of you know how to teleport better than me?" she asked. "Everyone?" She let out an exasperated sigh.

"It was part of the job, babe," said Hunter. "Sorry."

"I take it I'm bringing you with me?" she asked Ashtoreth.

"Mhmm!" Ashtoreth said, stepping into the circle.

A few moments later and they were both materializing in a landing pad several miles away.

"Nice!" Ashtoreth said, nudging Sadie encouragingly.

"Yeah, good," Sadie said, nodding to herself. "I could've brought Kylie, too, you know."

"Yeah," said Ashtoreth. "But she really likes flying. She never talks about it, but it's how she spends most of her time."

"Call it the cleanest, purest high that ever there was," Kylie rasped, landing beside them. "Staying in the air keeps me away from worse hobbies."

"You're here already?" Sadie asked. "That was fast."

"It wasn't too far," said Kylie. "And they've got fast lanes, here. We still outlevel most people. We good to go?"

"Absolutely!" said Ashtoreth, moving to clear their landing circle. "But also, I want you to do something for me before we start looking around. Sadie, can you keep a secret for me?"

"Uh, yeah, Ashtoreth. Definitely."

"Great!" Ashtoreth chirped. "Kylie, pass me my sisters."

"Uh. What?"

"You know. You've got Yama and Freyr in your bag, right?"

"Of course."

The gems containing Ashtoreth's bound sisters could never be left unguarded. Kylie was the one who held onto them because she had the magic that could instantly purge the gems if anything ever went wrong.

"Yeah, I can get them," said Kylie, suddenly eying Ashtoreth. "What do you want them for?"

"Isn't it obvious?," Ashtoreth asked. "To sell."