HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

Loki looked at Harry and found his invisibility cloak had fallen and he had clearly pissed and shit his robes.

Loki looked back at the monstrosity that was staring in his direction with all its eyes. It was feeding on a dragon and chewing on it like it was a toy.

The ginormous size of the monstrous creature when compared to the dragon made the once fearsome creature look like a chicken.

"What ez' that Hagrid?" Madam Maxime asked without fear since there were other wizards around and they were calm.

Loki suddenly realised that he had been so afraid that he'd missed Madam Maxime appearing near them.

'Are those wizards even going to do anything to help in case it decides to wreak havoc?'

And as if a switch had been flipped in him Hagrid answered calmly, "It's called a Gate Guardian Totem! Only found near gates to the underworld, and is usually on the other side. A creature that guards the gates to the underworld. Very useful for keeping the dead, dead. This one however is a baby."

'Baby my foot! That's taller than the cliff that Hogwarts is built on you fool!!!'

'The thing is so tall it can probably see the difference between heaven and earth!!! And it is as tall as Mt. Tai. Heck no, it is Mt. Tai.'

As Hagrid and Madam Maxime walked closer to the monstrous creature, Loki finally got a full view.

The creature was shaped like a humanoid with pastel red skin. It was sitting and had its knees folded as it used its hands to hold down the dragon it was chewing. Even while sitting, however, it felt like it was as tall as the Astronomy tower.

It had several pairs of deep crimson eyes scattered all around its body. Its entire head was cylindrical and it didn't have any lips. It had a gaping hole instead that held in it a sea of sharp jagged teeth.

Loki could see a blue flame within its mouth that flickered like a tongue.

"Are the champions going to fight 'tis Hagrid?" Madam Maxime asked politely.

"Haha~ No! That would be too much for them. Even I've never been able to handle one of these on my own."

"What 'den are they supposed to do?"

"Their aim will be to distract it so that they can steal a soul from the gate it will be guarding."

Loki became dumbfounded.

'Forget fighting.'

'I don't think I can even go anywhere close to it without feeling like a mountain is pressing down on my back!'

'How the hell did they even manage to bring it here!?'

'Wouldn't that mean there are a pair of Gate Guardian Totems, its Mother and Father, super angry in the underworld?'

It seemed like Hagrid sensed the doubts of the students he'd brought along or that he wanted to give them a brief respite so he quickly spoke up.

"Of course, it won't be this size when it's with the champions."

"Zthey will make this thing smaller?"

"Not exactly." Hagrid shook his head but then he saw the Gate Guardian Totem finish its meal so he pointed at it. "Look. You will understand."

Under the gazes of everyone, as soon as the totem head swallowed the entire dragon, in spite of its horrifying screeches and wails to survive a single moment longer, the totem shrank to the size of an actual baby.

Loki froze in his spot once again.

'What!!!??'

The once formidable creature now looked like a garden gnome. If not for its oddly shaped head, or even in spite of it, Loki was sure some wonky wizard out there would use it to decorate their house.

The Totem Baby looked around and soon walked to a small stone arch gate with an ethereal wispy door in it.

'Door to the underworld?' Loki noticed.

As soon as the baby was in front of the arch, it sat down and fell into a trance-like state as it continued to watch the door as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

It was at this point that Loki heard something rustle near him and when he looked at Harry, he was gone, along with his invisibility cloak.

'He got scared so easily?'

'Ha! Should've been like me! Look how strong-minded I am!'

'How will he defeat you-know-who if he's so weak! The saviour of the British Wizarding world is so weak…boohoo~ Adam has a weak protagonist.'

Loki stayed at the scene and looked at the Totem baby for a while longer, even after Hagrid and Madam Maxime left.

His prolonged stay helped him immensely since he figured out several things by eavesdropping on the conversations of the nearby wizards.

The totem baby had to be fed nearly once every few minutes to hours. This was not its natural eating speed, but a price it had to pay for living in the real world and not inside the gate where it protected the exit.

It always changed its size to swallow the creature whole in a single gulp. And this one's favourite food source happened to be dragons.

This Totem Baby was also contracted with the Beyonder who was present at the scene, a Sequence 5: Gatekeeper of the Death Pathway.

But the most important of all was the fact that the Totem Baby would never leave a ten-meter radius around the Gate, not when it was small and not even when it was tall.

Leaving the scene, Loki went back to the castle where he sat in his room with a frown.

'So the first task is to steal from a Totem Baby…'

'I guess I'll be performing a theft live? So I'll gain some digestion if I'm good enough at it and manage to surprise everyone?'

'But how does a normal person steal a soul in the first place?'

'I mean, not everyone else is like me that can turn the soul into it's stolen state of a rune and take it away…'

'So how else are they going to 'steal' a soul from it?'

'Is the trick to distract the Totem Baby just enough so that a soul escapes from its grasp?'

'But with the amount of eyes it has around its body it'll probably be difficult to 'blind' it.'

'I'll go to the library tomorrow.'

'Surely they have something on a totem baby.'

'And what are 'They' going to tell the normal people about the gate that leads to the underworld?'

'Won't the other wizards learn about Beyonders like this?'

'Or they'll probably just lie and say it's something they made for the competition?'

'Confusing…'

Getting up the next morning, Loki immediately walked over to the library.

"Here for books on Gate Guardian Totems?" Madam Pince asked with a knowing smile.

"Haha~ I mean I was suddenly interested in it. I just read a book about the Egyptians and they have all this underworld stuff and then there was about that mysterious being that protects the underworld…" Loki yapped on and on for about a minute before he looked at Madam Pince with a soft business smile which she casually dismissed.

"Aisle nineteen, shelf number forty." Madam Pince casually pointed and Loki happily strolled to the shelf to do his research about the baby totem.

'Baby Totem I'm gonna get you!!!'

'Wait, can I distract it if I show it that watermelon show since it is a baby?'

'Food for thought.'

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A/N : Happy new year~!!! I hope you've enjoyed your stay till now, and I hope you continue to do so in the foreseeable future~!! Thank you for reading~! Your comments mean very much!!

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