How to Survive the Mad Emperor

I am the emperor’s toilet cleaner,
a cripple who lives only because I cannot die.

My day begins with a single rice ball tossed at me by a fat maid.
Thud—
As the ball rolls on the ground, collecting dirt and dust, I think:
This miserable thing resembles my pitiful self.

“You’re not eating again, are you?”

Clang!
The sound of the cell door opening meant the arrival of three guards. Two grabbed my arms, while the third forced the rice ball into my mouth.
It tasted of salty grime.
I gagged, the earthy grit crunching in my teeth.

“If you’ve eaten, get to work, you bastard!”

Kicked out of solitary confinement, I was handed my filth-laden bucket.

I am the emperor’s toilet cleaner,
a cripple who lives only because I cannot die.

To avoid stinking up the palace, I took the long route, avoiding the soldiers’ patrol paths to walk the outer servant corridors.

I’ve grown used to the disdainful glares of young maids, their disgust plain on their faces. But the pity in the gaze of the old steward who remembers me— that is harder to bear.

“You’ve come.”
“……”

I couldn’t answer, lowering my eyes.
Meeting his gaze is impossible.
Too much time has passed.

“Let’s go.”

Following the steward, I passed through layer upon layer of heavily guarded checkpoints before finally reaching the emperor’s chambers.

Even before the doors opened, the stench of blood struck my nose.

“Your Majesty, it’s the steward. May we enter?”

The large room reeked of perfume, flesh, the remnants of lewdness, and blood—all mingled into filth.
The once-pristine bedding was stained deep red. A half-naked corpse lay askew on the bed, while another woman’s strangled body was discarded on the floor, her hair disheveled.

I’ve grown used to such scenes.
I pity the dead women, but truthfully, I envy them more.

While the steward motioned for maids to clean the room, I silently took my bucket to the toilet. That’s when someone called my name.

“Eugene.”
“……”

In this vast empire, only one person addresses me by name.

Turning around, I saw him.
The madman with the same silvery hair as mine, his crimson eyes gleaming as he smiled crookedly.

I bowed hastily.

The Emperor.
Carius Axension.
My brother approached.

“My beloved brother.”

He pulled me into an embrace, ignoring the filth on me. His grip was crushing, as if trying to break my spine.

My limbs trembled like a dog cowering before a master with a whip. Barely holding my shaking hands steady, I stretched my thumbs outward and tilted them 90 degrees to the left.

Kill me.

Then, using my right thumb and forefinger, I brushed my throat in a slicing motion.

Please.

Recognizing my sign language, the emperor frowned.

“Kill you? You’re still asking for that?”

My severed tongue twitched in my mouth, my ruined vocal cords spasming.

Kill me.
Please, end this.

But no sound escaped.
The words died in my throat.

“Why would I kill the only family I have left? You’re my precious brother.”

He chuckled, delighted.
Family?
This from the man who murdered our parents?
The one who slaughtered every last Axension in the bloodline.
The one who turned his own brother into nothing more than a toilet cleaner—his personal dog.

Placing his hand on my trembling shoulder, the emperor leaned close to whisper:

“Eugene.”
“……”
“You can’t die. You must live and witness the grand prosperity of my empire. That’s your purpose for staying alive.”

I wanted to die.
I’d tried everything to end my life.

I bit off my tongue, hung myself with curtains, leapt from the palace walls, stabbed my neck with a dining fork.
Each time, the emperor summoned his healers to save me.

Every time I opened my eyes, the world had grown into an even more horrifying hell.
I couldn’t speak. My leg was crippled. My tendons were torn, leaving me unable to even lift a spoon.

But nothing was worse than seeing his face every day.

“Oh, by the way.”

As if recalling something amusing, he gestured at the strangled woman sprawled on the floor.

“Do you remember Ariel Terawain?”

My pupils shook violently.
My vision blurred and sharpened repeatedly.
For a fleeting moment, I wondered if I’d misheard.

Ariel Terawain.
The eldest daughter of the once-renowned mage family, now extinct.
My fiancée.

She had reportedly escaped during the rebellion 20 years ago.
So why—
Why was her name coming from his lips now?

“She stayed with the rebels, hoping to rescue you, even after all these years. Such undying love is truly touching, isn’t it? Though, in the end, her uncle betrayed her.”

Clatter—

The bucket fell from my trembling hands.

Limping forward, I staggered toward the corpse.
My ruined arms, too weak to lift even a spoon, strained as I tried to raise her body.

Gently, I brushed aside her long black hair to see her face.

In that instant, her features overlapped with the smiling face of Ariel from 20 years ago.

My entire body trembled violently.
It felt as though blood was pouring out of every orifice.

“I didn’t want to kill her so quickly,” the emperor mused. “I wanted to savor her in front of you. But she put up quite a fight. A strong-willed woman.”
“……”

My mind went blank.
Tears poured freely, as though my tear ducts had burst.

With trembling hands, I signed the same words over and over:

Kill me.
Kill me.

Unable to cry aloud, I stared at the ceiling, my mouth moving soundlessly in a frenzy. My chest swelled as if it might burst, unable to contain the fury coursing through me, so I pounded it with clenched fists. Foam gathered at my lips, and tears of blood trickled from my eyes.

I am His Majesty’s toilet cleaner.
A cripple living out a life worse than death.

“My beloved little brother, I’ve been waiting for this day ever since the moment you were born.”

「Kill.」

“Stay by my side with that expression forever.”

When I saw his glistening red eyes, my body trembled uncontrollably. Up until now, the fear I felt in his presence was the natural reaction of one facing an absolute power. But this was different. Locking eyes with him, I curled my pinkies together, one atop the other.

「I will.」

I raised my thumbs, bent them sideways.

「Kill.」

I clenched my fists and struck them against each other.

「Destroy you.」

The Emperor frowned.

“That’s not the look I want to see. Your eyes are far too defiant right now.”

「I will.」
「Absolutely.」
「Kill you.」

“Kill me? What could you possibly do?”

I lunged at him like a wild animal.

It wasn’t the first time. Over the past twenty years, I had leaped at him countless times whenever the opportunity arose. I’d hidden a fork in my clothes, snatched a ceremonial sword from the wall, and aimed for his throat. Every single time, I was reminded of my pathetic, powerless limits.

And this time was no different.

The Emperor didn’t just remain unbothered—he even lay on the floor as if to humor me. Yet, despite my hands gripping his pale throat, no strength coursed through them. When the knights came to seize me, he raised a hand to stop them.

“Let him be. This is far too amusing to interrupt.”

I wailed silently, saliva dribbling down my chin, but no sound emerged from my throat. No strength filled my hands. The Emperor, pinned beneath me, looked perfectly serene.

“Eugene, you’ve grown bold, challenging me like this. Time has passed indeed. Is this what it feels like for a parent to watch their child grow up?”

His mocking smile shattered the last threads of my sanity.

What a cruel and wretched fate.

The threads of our connection were tied by our shared blood as half-brothers, yet the needle that wove those threads stabbed and killed my mother. And I did nothing.

I would do nothing this time as well.

In this corpse-like body, where even my tendons have been severed, I couldn’t scratch the surface of this Emperor, a 9-star knight.

Yes.

That’s how it should be.

But…

“…!”

There’s no human alive who can train their ears against an attack.

I bit the Emperor’s left ear.

“Eugene!”

Caught off guard, he tried to shove me away, but I clamped down like a rabid dog, refusing to let go.

I won’t let go.
Never.

“Y-Your Majesty!”

The knights scrambled to pull me off, but as I thrashed, the ear tore further, dangling in shreds. Kicks rained down on me.

Thud! Thud!

They struck my ribs, my back, my head. The pain was excruciating, and I nearly let go. But no—I was determined to take that ear with me.

It wasn’t long before my battered body gave in.

“Enough! Stop! Do not kill him!”

The Emperor’s deranged voice echoed in my ears.

My vision blurred as I blinked, catching sight of the Emperor clutching his bloodied ear. Despite the streaming blood, he seemed utterly indifferent to his injury and more concerned about my life.

“Summon the physician! Quickly!”

Spitting out his ear and a mouthful of blood, I forced a smile.

A laugh…

How long has it been since I laughed?

“Y-Your Majesty!”

The long-bearded physician rushed in, examining the Emperor’s torn ear in a panic. Yet, the Emperor grabbed the physician by the collar and growled.

“Not me—him.”

“Pardon?”

“I don’t care if he’s barely alive—just keep him breathing.”

Keep me alive?
Me?

No, this time will be different.

I can feel it. My body won’t endure much longer.

Laughter bubbled from me, even as tears blurred my vision. At the edge of my gaze was Ariel Terawain’s cold, lifeless face. The sight made me want to weep all over again, but I smiled instead.

It must have been a stupid expression, somewhere between laughter and tears, but it was the most exhilarating moment of my life.

“Cough, cough!”

When I die, that lunatic won’t last long without me.

He’ll get bored.
I’m sure of it.

“Your Majesty, the internal injuries are too severe. There’s nothing we can do…”

“Didn’t you hear me say to save him?”

“This body is already no better than a corpse! If we attempt any treatment, he’ll—kgh!”

The Emperor’s hand clamped around the physician’s throat, his bloodshot eyes glaring with terrifying clarity.

“I said to save him. Was that a request?”

His words came out in clipped, deliberate syllables. His face grew hazy, like a watercolour painting dissolving in water.

I closed my eyes. Comfort and darkness enveloped me, and I drifted as if floating in a vast, endless dream.

So this is what death feels like.

Death.

My father once told me, “You’ll become an extraordinary Emperor someday.”

Yet I ended up as nothing more than a cripple, cleaning my brother’s filth.

I am His Majesty’s latrine cleaner.
A cripple living out a life worse than death.

What a pitiful existence.

Let’s end this suffering.

I closed my eyes quietly.

[The Rune of Causality has been activated.]

In that moment, a distant light burst into view, expanding until it washed over me like a tidal wave.

At the same time, an unfamiliar voice echoed in my ears.

[Cycle One has ended.]
[Cycle Two will now begin.]