How To Ruin A Love Comedy

“Miyuki.”

“.....”

“Miyuki.”

“.....”

Despite calling her name from right behind, Miyuki doesn’t respond.

Her staggering walk seems precarious. As I pondered whether to reach out to her,

“Hanazawa.”

I called her by her surname I had used long ago.

The reaction was immediate. Miyuki sharply turned her head towards me.

“...What? Why...?”

It seems using her surname after such a long time had the intended effect.

She rolled her eyes as if trying to figure out what she had done wrong. I shrugged my shoulders at Miyuki and said,

“You just walked past the changing room.”

I extended my thumb over my shoulder, pointing towards the changing room. Miyuki, stepping aside to look, scratched the side of her head.

“Really...”

“Why are you so out of it? Was it that tough?”

“It’s not that... I was just lost in thought about something else...”

“About what?”

“I’ll tell you later...”

“Alright then.”

Miyuki, hesitantly gauging my reaction, changed the subject.

“I heard we’re switching seats this week. Did you hear?”

“Yeah, Miura mentioned it this morning. Is it going to be a draw?”

“I only heard we’re switching, no details on how. Usually, it’s a draw... so probably the same?”

“Can’t we use some sort of class president privilege?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Make a strong case to the teacher. There are plenty of excuses. Like, ‘A problem child who is changing’ or ‘Want to help directly’... something along those lines?”

“That won’t work... If I get involved, it’ll be considered cheating...”

Despite saying that, she seemed tempted.

I took a step closer to Miyuki, grinning as I spoke.

“It would be nice if we could sit together.”

Miyuki’s face instantly flushed.

“I, I feel the same way...”

“Are you really okay? It’s gym class, can you make it?”

“I’ve been sneaking in some rest, I’ll be fine... But moving forward...”

Miyuki’s voice trailed off. I could guess what she wanted to say.

“Let’s try to restrain ourselves on weekdays.”

“Yeah...”

“I’m not sure if that’s possible though.”

“Ah, what are you saying…!”

Miyuki playfully shoved my shoulder with a hand full of affection.

She let out a helpless laugh before heading into the changing room.

**

“Hiyaaaa! Head! Wristlock! Waist!”

In the garden behind the kendo club, Chinami was squawking as she demonstrated various attacks in the air, then turned to look at me.

“The energy gathered from your lower abdomen should be expelled as you encourage yourself, infusing your body with strength, showing your will and spirit. That’s the essence of energy and kiai. It’s only with this surrounding energy that your attack can truly become a match.”

She explained while lifting her bamboo sword to her waist, I wondered if it was heavy.

Scratching my head, I asked,

“Do I really have to shout?”

“It’s not just any shout, it’s a kiai. The more robust and sharp the kiai, the faster the attack becomes. Huhhhhh... Headddddd...”

Chinami suddenly drew out her shout, slackening her body. Seeing my mouth slightly open, she continued,

“Do you think the sword would move faster if you just let out a kiai like that?”

“Well, I do agree to some extent but...”

“The importance of kiai is not just that. A kiai with will can clear away distracting thoughts. It can also suppress the opponent’s energy, making them feel intimidated.”

“Can’t we just breathe shortly?”

“Like when you first showed me that head strike, or when you attacked Renka’s waist, you took a deep breath with a ’hup!’?”

“Yes... something like that...”

“That’s fine, but it would be better to expel it more sharply and loudly. Shall we try? Kiai!”

She clenched her fist and let out a short shout, which was quite cute.

“I’ll practice it alone at home later.”

“Why? Are you embarrassed to do kiai in front of others? Mmm... It’s understandable. Many beginners think that way, but no one will laugh at you, and I feel the same. Give it a try. It might feel awkward at first, but you’ll get used to it.”

“It’s not that... I’m just feeling a bit sluggish today.”

“Oh, is that so...? Then, shall I give you a massage?”

Like the last time, she clenched and unclenched her hands, wearing a sly smile.

My response was to simply lie face down on the bench. This seemed to perplex Chinami as she asked,

“What are you doing...?”

“You said you’d give me a massage.”

“.... What? But...”

“You weren’t joking, were you?”

“Well, it’s just that...”

“I was actually looking forward to a massage from my master for the first time... If it was a joke, this disciple would be truly disappointed.”

I let out a deep sigh, making the earth seem to swallow me, prompting Chinami to clear her throat awkwardly.

“Well, for my one and only disciple, a massage is the least I can do... But...”

“But?”

“The truth is... I don’t really know how to give a massage...”

“You don’t?”

“So... maybe next time...”

“Next time?”

“Why are you doing this... It’s scary...”

“Scary?”

“Hubae-nim... you’re acting strange today...”

Chinami began to back away.

It seemed like the right time to stop teasing her. I stood up, stretching out, and said,

“I was just kidding. Please do give me that massage next time.”

“Ah, yes... I’m sorry...”

“When shall we go for ice cream?”

“Huh? You said you’d let me know when.”

“Even so, there must be a day or time that’s convenient for you.”

“I’m fine with any time. Weekdays or weekends are good... Eek!?”

As Chinami’s voice trailed off, a peculiar scream escaped her lips.

She was startled by my hand suddenly reaching towards her head.

She ducked, showing an exaggerated reaction, but it was just a leaf that had fallen on her head.

I plucked it off, clicking my tongue.

“I was just trying to remove a leaf that had fallen on you.”

At that, Chinami opened one eye.

Seeing the leaf right in front of her, she gave an embarrassed smile.

“Oh, I see... You surprised me all of a sudden...”

“Didn’t you feel it?”

“No... not at all...”

“You’re always so oblivious. It suits you.”

“Thank you... Wait, what do you mean it suits me?”

“It’s just right for your image as a master. It’s cute.”

“Whaaat...?”

Chinami’s already large eyes widened even more, almost as if she had seen a ghost...

She seemed quite shocked.

Her reaction was even more intense than when I had complimented her beauty in the car before.

Her face turned as red as the autumn leaves of a cherry tree. Looking down at her, I asked,

“Since when have you been wearing that peach hairpin?”

“.... Eh? What?”

“When did you start wearing that hairpin?”

“Ah... I, I bought it yesterday...”

She hastily clamped her gaping mouth shut and answered.

I couldn’t help but chuckle and shake my head at her response.

Then, with a deep gaze, I alternately looked at Chinami and her hairpin.

“It suits you well.”

“Th-thank you...”

Chinami bowed deeply in a polite gesture of gratitude, covering her hairpin with both hands.

Was she feeling shy about it? Her quirky behavior almost made me burst into laughter.

“Shall we go clean up now?”

“No, no... I’ll take care of cleaning today... You’re feeling sluggish, so you can just practice spreading your legs briefly and then head back...”

Spreading legs... that term sounds a bit dirty.

“Moving around should loosen things up.”

“...Really?”

“Sure.”

The atmosphere suddenly became strangely soft and mellow.

Chinami, swallowing hard, seemed to decide it was time to change the subject and pointed her tiny finger toward the storeroom.

“Shall we head to the storage room then...?”

“Yes, let’s. But Master.”

“Yes...?”

I sniffed the air and paused for a moment.

As Chinami’s head tilted at a 15-degree angle, I brought my face close to hers and whispered,

“You smell like peaches.”

“I’m, I’m sorry... Sorry if I smell...!”

Was it my imagination, or did Chinami’s eyes look bewildered?

It made me want to tease her more. With a light smile, I straightened up.

“I’m saying it’s nice, why are you apologizing? You said any time is fine, right? I’ll get in touch soon.”

Did my calm demeanor put her at ease? Chinami, who had been taking deep breaths with her hand on her chest, seemed to regain her natural color.

She looked up at me with her pink eyes, tinged with a hint of red, and shyly replied,

“Yes...”

My relationship with Chinami was progressing well. So far, there have been no issues. Let’s keep it this way.

**

“What about Tetsuya-kun?”

Miyuki asked as she waited for me in the parking lot.

I unlocked the car with my smart key and responded,

“He said he’d go ahead because the coach wanted to give him some extra training.”

“The kendo coach?”

“Right.”

“Matsuda-kun isn’t getting any?”

“I’m fine.”

“Why?”

“No need for it.”

“So, your skills are so lacking that you’ve given up?”

Miyuki doesn’t know about the time I landed a hit on Renka’s waist.

Tetsuya hasn’t told her, and I haven’t felt the need to bring it up.

I wonder if she’ll be surprised when she finds out. Or maybe she won’t care much since she doesn’t know much about kendo.

“Let’s get going. It’s been a while since we went back together, just the two of us.”

“Yeah.”

A drowsy Miyuki climbed into the passenger seat, placed her bag at her feet, and buckled up before starting to fiddle with her phone.

“I’m really sleepy today... aren’t you?”

“I’m fine, but you were up until dawn. Go straight to bed when we get home.”

“I plan to... But, Matsuda-kun, do you know Maritozzo?”

“Maritozzo? That bread smothered in cream?”

“Yeah. Masako said it’s delicious, so I wanted to try it. It’s called Chestnut Cream Mont Blanc Maritozzo. I’ll buy some tomorrow, so let’s share.”

If it’s Miyuki’s pick, it must be good.

As our conversation dwindled and her responses became fewer, I glanced over at the passenger seat.

Her eyes were half-closed, nodding off while staring at her phone screen.

She must be exhausted from yesterday, and after having physical education on top of that, staying awake through the afternoon classes must have drained her completely.

I should let her get some rest in the car. With that thought, I continued to drive in silence.

“Umm...”

Miyuki, sounding worn out, soon began to doze off properly.

Her eyelids, which had been fluttering, were now fully closed.

She looked adorable, breathing softly with her head turned towards me.

At a red light, I took the chance to check on Miyuki and noticed her hand relaxing, the one holding her phone.

The phone slid sideways, held only by her fingers, and looked like it might drop any moment...

It would be annoying if it fell between the seats, so I should keep it safe for her.

As I carefully reached for Miyuki’s phone, I saw the densely packed text on the screen and grimaced.

Was she reading some kind of research paper? Impressive. But as I was about to take the phone, I hesitated.

I definitely saw something. A word that seemed completely out of place for the innocent Miyuki.

I swallowed hard and leaned in closer to sneak a peek at her phone screen.

There, I found:

[How to Give a Handjob: Seven Ways to Drive Your Man Wild.]

Seeing that, I instinctively knew I had to pretend I hadn’t seen anything.

I turned my gaze back to the road, trying to control the twitching of my facial muscles.

I couldn’t help but smirk.

She had said she’d learn more for me, but to start this soon...

That’s so Miyuki, always preparing in advance.

And the thought of learning something like that from an article? It was both absurd and somewhat impressive.

‘Let’s just keep quiet.’

I hadn’t seen anything.

With my heart racing, I composed myself just as Miyuki stirred and mumbled in her sleep.

“Sleep more. We’re still a ways off.”

“Mmm... sorry...”

She pulled her phone close and closed her eyes again. Relieved, I focused back on driving.

︵‿︵‿୨ * ୧‿︵‿︵

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