How can I save the world if I'm no longer the hero?

"You know, if you were a normal person you'd be dead, right?" Joan asked.

"Probably," Chase said. "I could say the same about you."

"Excuse you?" Joan asked, giving a mocking huff from her position sitting cross legged on the end of his bed. "I'll have you know a lot of very powerful and attached people put in a lot of work to make sure I don't die despite my best efforts. My survival is entirely beyond my control and has nothing to do with my being normal. Meanwhile, your poor choice and subsequent survival was entirely self inflicted."

Chase just looked at her, cocking an eye.

"What?" Joan asked. "Not all of what happens to me is my fault. I'm just saying you should have the world's worst hangover right now."

"And yet I don't," Chase said. "I don't think I ever have, however. Did you really just come here to scold me for celebrating?"

"Not really," Joan said. "I ummm, actually wanted to talk with you about something."

"I imagined so, the sun's not even up yet and you're already seeing what trouble you can cause. I do admire your dedication to the craft of causing chaos," Chase said with a small chuckle.

"Mmmm hm," Joan said. "I'm also working on uncovering masks. Maybe some of Penth's. A few of yours would be nice, though."

"Me? I'm an open book," Chase said.

"Yeah, but the problem is that book is hidden under the sea in an old temple guarded by a leviathan the size of a mountain," Joan said in a flat, unamused tone.

"Where is life without its little challenges?" Chase asked. "Shouldn't you be resting, though? I hear you went through quite the ordeal. You seem remarkably unphased considering the state of the others."

"Ehhhhh, I think I got off light," Joan said with a shrug. "I confused it."

"Confused it?" Chase asked, cocking an eye.

"It kept trying to switch up what it showed me," Joan said. "I guess it wasn't getting the response it wanted? Or maybe it wasn't even aware of what it was showing me, but it couldn't get it right? Just, you know. When everything goes wrong my first instinct is really to keep fighting. I don't give up easily. It's not like I'm not used to despair, either. Some old god isn't going to stop me from trying to escape and fight my way free, no matter what's going on. If you can't just outright kill me, you really shouldn't try to make me give up, I'll win eventually."

"In some ways you are quite terrifying, Joan," Chase said with a gentle sigh. "I guess it was foolish of some monster to think a little thing like helplessness and despair would slow you down."

"I know, right?" Joan asked with a light snicker. "I'm more interested in what happened here. That was Captain Quinn, right?"

Chase just stopped and turned towards her. "Yessss… it was. How did YOU know that? I haven't mentioned her name to anyone."

"Who do you think had to fight her last time?" Joan asked, rolling her eyes. "Though, I'm surprised to see her here. Did she have the bone dragon this time?"

Chase just shook his head and began to, very lightly, chuckle. "Somewhat. That was actually why she was so furious with me. I… ahhhh… had to… ensure that their attempts to summon that dragon didn't work. Apparently they were trying to amass an army of sacrifices a thousand strong to summon it."

That knocked the smile off Joan's face. "Wait, what? That's… that's how they got the dragon? I thought it was some kind of ancient, awoken… oh…"

Chase sighed and shook his head. "It won't be an issue ever again, at least. But it turns out when you stop a ghast's attempts to destroy the world of the living, she can take it quite personally. She gathered what ships she had and tried to destroy the city."

"A city holding the Chosen of Water," Joan said. "Not the wisest plan, if I can be entirely honest. Sorry, I'd have given you some more warning but I didn't think that dragon was supposed to be an issue for… well…"

"It's not the one resting on the ocean floor, is it?" Chase asked.

"Nahhhhhh, that one wasn't so bad. Kind of friendly, almost," Joan said with a shrug.

"I thought you said it was a joke?" Chase asked, his tone suspicious.

"Only that we had to worry about it," Joan said.

Chase just gave an exhausted sigh and shook his head. "Gods give me strength."

"Why do people keep saying that?" Joan asked. "So, Dixon, you found him?"

"Yes," Chase said. "Unless he has ended up somewhere else. He's not an easy man to find. I think he was trying to get back to the demon lands on his own, but well…"

"Captured?" Joan asked.

"Of course," Chase said. "I'll need to be careful, there's a… well…"

"Slavers?" Joan asked.

Chase gave another soft sigh before nodding.

"Getting Dixon and everyone else out without them killing them?" Joan asked.

Chase just gave her another look.

"What? You're the Chosen of Kindness," Joan said. "If you found a bunch of people being held prisoner like that how could I not expect you to do something about it?"

"That wasn't the look that time," Chase said, his eyes narrowed slightly. "Did you know about them?"

"If you're asking did I know that… things like that happen? Yes," Joan said softly. "If you're asking if I know where they all are, or where these ones specifically are? No. I didn't run into many of those and well… one of the few I did know about is unlikely to ever happen now, Korgron made sure of that. We stopped it where we could find it. But there are people out there, terrible, horrible people. And it can be hard to find them unless you know where to look."

Chase gave a small sigh before nodding. "Good. I'd hope you would know better than to hide something like that from me."

"Ohhhh yes," Joan said with a snort. "Trust me, I hide a lot of stuff from all of you, but most of it is just stuff I can't remember. Sooooo many things happened and my memory still isn't always the best. It's really annoying to just have something get triggered and then, bam, I suddenly remember that I need to not stand under a tree in the sun because the tree will try to eat me."

"How many—"

"At least three separate occasions," Joan said. "There are a lot of violent trees when the fae are involved. So, when are we going?"

"We?" Chase asked.

"Yes, you, me, I assume Breeze, possibly Penthe," Joan said. "What, you're not going to try and fight a bunch of pirate slavers without me, are you?"

Chase went silent again.

"Chaaaaaase," Joan said before just laying back, glaring at the ceiling. "Nope. I'm not being left behind for this one."

"It's dangerous," Chase said.

"So is literally everything else I do," Joan said.

"I don't want you to get hurt," Chase said.

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

"Nope," Joan said.

"I don't want you getting captured," Chase said.

"HA!" Joan said.

"Dixon will likely try to kill you if he sees you," Chase said.

"Okay, that is at least a fair one, but no," Joan said. "Besides, he's kind of my fault. You wouldn't have done all of this if you weren't trying to get me to begin with, so I have to help."

"Joan, you—"

"So one way or another I'm helping," Joan said. "You can direct my energy the right way, or I can do it behind your back. And you can think you're stopping or tricking me some way and that I won't be there, only to find out later I was there and be annoyed. Possibly more annoyed if you find out I did it using a trick you either taught me or would have taught me but hadn't come up with in this life."

Chase gave a long, lingering groan and pinched the bridge of his nose. She knew that face well. That was the face of someone who had lost and already knew it. She really was getting better at seeing his masks.

------

"Now, what do I do with you three," Joan said, eyeing the three pairs of weapons that were hovering in the courtyard. On the one hand, they were more than willing to wait outside when she went into a building.

On the other hand, they followed her everywhere and it was more than a little creepy. Sure, they'd attacked that ghost thing, but she didn't want them attacking random people who passed by. "Should I just ask Chase to wrap you in ice whenever I go anywhere?"

Unsurprisingly, the weapons didn't respond.

"You know, sometimes I think you just don't want to talk to me. It's very rude to just follow a girl around and not tell her why," Joan said. "Some would call it creepy."

They just continued to float there ominously.

"I almost miss the old days when things that tried to kill me just stopped there," Joan said with a light huff. "Now they're all following me or trying to protect me. It's kind of weird."

"Joan," a soft voice said from behind her, making her pause and look back at Ifrit. She was a little surprised to see her alone and, more importantly, walking in from outside. It was way too early in the morning for her to have gone anywhere and be coming back now. More importantly, she was wearing the same clothes she'd been wearing yesterday. Had she not even had a chance to change yet?

"Spend all night celebrating?" Joan asked, giving a small smile.

"If only," Ifrit said, shaking her head. She then tossed a small, brown pouch to her.

Joan caught it and, to her surprise, it jingled. She opened it to reveal a few coins inside. "Ummm… what's this?"

"Your share from the bounty," Ifrit said softly. "Francis and I spent half the night going over everything that happened and well, by the time we were done we were so tired we could barely see straight. We ended up sleeping in their barracks."

Joan gave her a small, pitying look. She must have been exhausted if she'd slept like that. "Just a warning, if you're going to try and bathe, the water is very cold."

"I can't even pretend to care," Ifrit said, the exhaustion clear in her voice. "How are you feeling after… all of that."

"I'm used to despair," Joan said with a shrug. "I've lost a lot and just… I don't know. Kind of gotten used to it? If that makes sense? It's kind of nice not having it now. But I'm also kind of… used to bouncing back from it, I guess. What did you see?"

"No," Ifrit said quickly. "I don't… I don't want to talk about it. I just… I want to forget it."

"I… okay," Joan said softly. "But you know, sometimes… talking about these things does help. Believe it or not, I used to try and bottle everything up. But having someone to share all of your feelings with can help a lot."

"I thought that, too, but…" Ifrit stopped and stared at her for a few moments. Finally, she shook her head. "Francis… betrayed me."

"Wait, WHAT?" Joan asked, her eyes going wide. "What did he do? When? Did he—"

"Not here," Ifrit said quickly, shaking her head. "In the… when I was… in there. In that… what I saw. He… he ended up just like everyone else. He betrayed me. When it… when it benefited him. He… betrayed me. He turned on me. Because I wasn't… I wasn't…" Her arms wrapped around herself, tightly.

Joan's eyes went wide when she, finally, realized what Ifrit meant. The thing that monster had done to make her feel despair had been simple. The one person she trusted more than anyone else turning on her in the end. "You know he hasn't… he wouldn't…"

"It's not real," Ifrit said softly. "It wasn't and it never will be. I know. But… in those moments it felt so real. And before you say it, I know it's not fair. He's not… he's never done anything like that. He's never even seemed like he might. And I know I need to get over it. I just… I don't know if I can. I keep trying to push it aside, but it's always there, just beneath the surface. Like a monster just waiting to leap out and bite me. Every time he says something or reacts a little… angrily, I wonder if…"

"Have you… told him?" Joan asked softly.

"Of course not!" Ifrit said quickly. "He's not the one who… I'm the one who doesn't trust him. I just… I need to get over it. He didn't do anything wrong."

"I think that's every reason to tell him," Joan said softly. "Just because he didn't do something doesn't mean he can't help. There was a lot of… a lot of people in my life weren't, directly, responsible for things. I used to be absolutely terrified of Searle, believe it or not."

"W-what?" Ifrit asked. "The Chosen of the Shield? But he's so…"

"Sweet? Gentle? Kind? Determined? Diligent?" Joan asked. "Yeah, he's pretty amazing. But I… wasn't. I saw a lot of sides of him that, frankly, I don't even know if they could apply to him in this time. They might not have applied then, either. But it didn't stop me from being scared of him at times, as I am. We had to talk about it, more than once. In the end? It helped. A lot. Explaining everything. What I felt. Why I felt it. It wasn't fair to him, a lot hasn't been fair to him. But that didn't stop him from trying to help make it better. And, in a lot of ways, I think we're better for it. Maybe the same will be true for you and Francis. But… if you hide this from him? All that you're going to do is make him more worried about it than he would be normally. Did he tell you what his was?"

"Failing to keep me safe," Ifrit said with a small smile. "He's… kind like that. Here I am, afraid he'll betray me and his greatest despair is… well… him doing that. How can I be afraid of someone like that?"

"Lots of things in life aren't fair," Joan said with a shrug. "If they were, I wouldn't need to be here to begin with."

Ifrit gave a small snort before shaking her head. "I'm going to go take a long soak. Thanks. I'll think about what you said. But, ummmm… whatever you're planning to do? Next? I think… I think I'd like to stay out of it."

"Is it that obvious I'm planning something?" Joan asked sheepishly.

"You're very… bouncy this morning," Ifrit said. "You tend to get… bouncy when your intentions are going to cause trouble for someone." She then turned and walked into the building, leaving Joan behind to chuckle.

"You really are getting better at this," Bauteut said, making Joan jump and whip around. The other girl was standing off to the side, leaning against the fence.

"How long have you been there?" Joan asked. "WHEN did you get there? You were NOT here earlier."

"Long enough," Bauteut said. "You're not the only one learning new tricks, Joan. But that was some really good advice."

"Thanks," Joan said sheepishly. "Seriously though, when did you…?"

"In the middle of Ifrit's explanation," Bauteut said. "I was planning to offer some advice, but it seems you had it well in hand."

"Uhhhh, well, what can I say? I'm learning," Joan said sheepishly. "Speaking of needing to talk about things, did you want to—"

"No," Bauteut said. "What I saw wasn't… it's… really not the kind of thing I'd feel comfortable sharing with you. I do plan to talk with someone about it, later. But… not right now. Not today. So… thanks. But no."

Joan gave a soft sigh and nodded. "Darn. So still not good enough, huh? I don't suppose your experience involved me dying?"

Bauteut shook her head. "Not… directly, Joan. Let's just leave it at that. Wanna help me with something?"

"Oh, with what?" Joan asked, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"Hangover cures," Bauteut said. "I was going to head into the city and pick up the ingredients I need. I could use another hand carrying things, if you'd be so kind?"

"Don't they have everything they'd need here already?" Joan asked.

"Perhaps," Bauteut said. "But I'd also like to go into the city. You don't have to come."

"I'll come!" Joan said quickly, lightly jogging over to Bauteut's side and giving her a small smile. Her friend smiled down at her, though the smile was slightly weaker than one she'd usually worn. Still, she was able to go with her into the city, so at least Bauteut wasn't isolating herself. The pair gave the guards outside a small wave as they passed.

She wished she knew how to help her with whatever caused her despair, but she supposed for now she'd just need to trust that her friend had it under control and would cope with it in her own way. Or hopefully ask for help when she needed it. So long as--

Bauteut suddenly reached out and grabbed her arm, yanking her back and holding her close before a mounted rider came galloping past where she had just been standing a moment ago. She stared at it before it disappeared, galloping past the guards and ignoring their call. A moment later the scent washed over her and she gagged slightly, a hand covering her mouth. What in the world was that? It smelled like something dead and rotten.

"That… doesn't seem good," Joan said softly. "Bauteut?"

Bauteut wasn't moving, just holding her tight.

"Are you okay?"

"What?" Bauteut asked.

"Are you going to let me go?" Joan asked.

"O-oh, right," Bauteut said, slowly pulling her hands away. "I'm sorry, I was… sorry."

"We should probably go check on what that is," Joan said softly. "Because it's likely not good and that means it's likely our problem."

"It doesn't have to be," Bauteut said softly, before shaking her head. "No, it does, doesn't it? It always does. Very well."