Honkai: Man(Sludge) From Future

"Hachi, you've got a new assignment."

Ayanokoji Kiyotaka had always thought Hikigaya Hachiman was some kind of living legend. He simply could not understand how Hachiman had been promoted from Captain of the Security Force to Captain of the Far East Division of the UN Peacekeeping Forces.

Dammit! Why?!

"If I was walking on thin ice before, now I'm sitting on a volcano."

Hikigaya Hachiman absolutely could not accept his new appointment. Telling him to protect Academy City and bring the hammer down on the small fry within its walls was one thing. But now he was being sent to a battlefield between two hostile nations armed with Honkai Fission Bombs.

Director, you don't even use a servant like this, do you? At least servants get paid.

What was he, Hikigaya Hachiman? Just a normal guy who'd managed to acquire a Tier 3 Stigma Battlesuit.

Hachiman felt a headache coming on—assuming his brain was still that of a normal person. He had no idea why he was being assigned to international peacekeeping.

"What are you worried about, Captain? The higher-ups must really appreciate you!" Ayanokoji gave Hachiman an unhesitating thumbs-up.

'This is great,' he thought. 'The sooner they send him away, the sooner I won't have to deal with this guy.'

Perhaps Ayanokoji's presence was too important, as Hachiman instinctively retorted, "What's so great about it? You'll have to come with me, won't you? I remember your Stigma Battlesuit has already reached Tier 4. Once you break through, you'll be a new Tier 4 user. Then you'll be able to wield Honkai Energy, your combat power will increase exponentially, and Schicksal and Anti-Entropy will even fit you with a new, specialized battlesuit. At that point, I might not even be a match for you."

'No, you really underestimate yourself, Captain. Everyone knows your body is basically a humanoid Moonlight Throne engine. As long as there's Honkai Energy, it can run until it drops dead.'

Ayanokoji wasn't worried in the slightest that Hachi would die out there. A land ravaged by Honkai Fission Bombs would only serve as nourishment for him.

'Wait, did he just say I have to go too?'

Ayanokoji's brow furrowed as he realized the situation was not in his favor. What was a logistics secretary doing going out to fight and kill? While he did have the potential for a Tier 4 Stigma Battlesuit, he had only ever publicly claimed to have Tier 3 abilities.

'Did he see through my deception?!'

Hikigaya Hachiman ground his teeth in resentment. He absolutely could not let this kid stay behind in Academy City, living the good life. The kid had to come with him to eat sand in the Middle East.

He hadn't seen through anything; he just wanted to drag a familiar face along with him.

At the thought, another pang of pain shot through Hachiman's heart, and he dialed his good friend's number.

"Shirogane? I'm heading out for peacekeeping in Israel and Palestine. Make sure you look after my sister and parents at home. I'm counting on you!"

Shirogane, on the other end of the line, was a bit dazed. He glanced back at Hikigaya Komachi, who was at his table asking for help with her homework.

'What's going on? Peacekeeping in Israel and Palestine? Wasn't that whole mess started by Academy City's higher-ups? Why are they sending peacekeepers now? Is this the left hand fighting the right hand?'

Shirogane Miyuki found it increasingly difficult to understand the policies of Academy City's leadership. In any case, the city was clearly thriving, so he didn't concern himself with it too much. Hadn't Director Cocolia said it herself? As long as Dr. Tesla was around, Academy City would never have to fear the threat of nuclear weapons.

So what was there to worry about? After obtaining the power of a Herrscher, Dr. Tesla could theoretically live for tens of thousands of years. Who knew if any other countries would even exist by then?

"What are you going to do?" Shirogane Miyuki suspected his friend had gotten something wrong. How did he suddenly get promoted to a UN position? Was Academy City even a country?

Although he often heard urban legends about an emperor ruling the city, Academy City had always operated under the guise of the Far East and was never considered a sovereign nation by the outside world.

'In that case, Hachiman... got promoted again?'

Shirogane Miyuki thought about his own stagnant position since joining the research institute, then thought about his friend's meteoric rise. It was hard not to let his mind wander to strange places.

'Hachiman... could he have...? No, definitely not. Who in their right mind would take a liking to a RoboCop's armored backside?'

Shirogane Miyuki felt his mind had been corrupted by internet memes. Why else would he imagine his friend doing something like that?

"Komachi is doing fine. As for your parents... forget it. If you make it back alive, I'll introduce you to my sister. You can help her out when she needs it in the future."

Shirogane Miyuki proposed a condition, something to balance out this inexplicable debt of gratitude.

Hachiman felt a great sense of relief. With a fierce-looking guy like Shirogane Miyuki, his sister couldn't be much of a looker either.

"Don't worry, as long as I'm alive, I'll look after your sister. Your sister's business is my business!"

After settling his final affairs, Hikigaya Hachiman hung up the phone, content.

He glanced at Ayanokoji Kiyotaka and said with a serious expression, "I have nothing to fear now!"

Ayanokoji didn't watch much anime, so he naturally didn't know the origin of that line, but he thought Hachiman's performance felt like he was planting death flags all over the place.

Entrusting your family to a good friend before heading out to war meant that this promise would be fulfilled one way or another. Either the good friend would be dead when he returned, or Hachiman himself would perish on the battlefield.

"You're right, Captain!"

Ayanokoji Kiyotaka was not one to speak ill of his superiors, so he certainly wasn't going to point out Hachiman's mistake. My god, pointing out a leader's mistake to his face? That was just asking for trouble.

'Isn't the leader smarter than you? Otherwise, how did he become the leader?'

Ayanokoji's silent complaints were endless. For a man who would drag his secretary onto the battlefield, Ayanokoji not putting a curse on Hachi behind his back was the very definition of benevolence.

"Oh, my god... you think I'll have to give a speech at the UN? But... I've barely ever used my English. I don't know if I have time to study now. It's a good thing Academy City's real-time translation products are so good, but I hear that being fluent in other languages is basic etiquette for our upper-echelon personnel."

Hachiman was now worried about committing a diplomatic faux pas. Since things had already come to this, why not think about the good things for a change?