Honey, I've Leveled the Kids [Family-Focus, LitRPG - COMPLETE]

The extra hour of sleep compared to the previous day left me feeling less depleted and craggily to fumble through my dresser drawers. I struggled to find a clean, weather appropriate shirt. It was too warm for long-sleeves, but it was all I had. With an extra slab of deodorant, I grabbed the overflowing laundry basket and stumbled out into the hallway.

Today's common quest: Clean up my messes.

Elaine was already in the hallway, grabbing her headphones the moment she saw me, ready to block me out. That's fine. I would regain her trust with my actions first. "Is there any laundry I can do for you today?"

She nodded and turned back into her room to get it. Today's work from home chores would be laundry and dishes. Proudly, I walked into the kitchen, showcasing to Beth the basket in my hands.

With some flair, I said, "I bear a bounty today that I shall scour clean!"

"Thank you." Beth cooly said, while typing on her laptop at the kitchen table and munching on banana bread toast. "You will do the kitchen, too."

"Of course," I said cheerfully.

Tristan ran down the hallway, hair unbrushed, and grabbed a bowl, milk, and cereal. "If I pour the cereal with the left, stir it the way of the clock. Do a dance." He wriggled back and forth like the latest trend. "Then slowly, slowly drip in the milk…"

It splattered on the spoon and onto the table. I moved the spoon to prevent further mess, and saving Beth's laptop. One of my dirty shirts in the basket worked fine as a cloth to clean up the mess. It was about to go into the laundry, anyway.

"Dad!" He cried. "You ruined the balance. I must quickly stir it until the prime temperature is reached."

Cereal and milk went flying. I yanked out a shirt in time to save Beth's laptop from the growing puddle.

"Done!" Tristan quickly chomped and crunched down on the sugar loaded breakfast. "Not perfect, but close. I'll get it next time."

Beth chuckled as she closed her laptop, moving it safely away. "I should have you work on salads at the next holiday party. There is an ancient tool called the salad spinner. Only those with expert control can wield it." She gave him a kiss on the head before standing up. "Feeling better? You screamed a lot last night."

Tristan looked at me and I shrugged as I put the milk soaked shirts in the basket. "I didn't hear you."

His shoulders slouched as he went back to stuffing his mouth with cereal.

Elaine walked past with her own basket and added it to the laundry room floor near the garage. She left it perfectly in the middle of my path with no care or on purpose. Yup, she was mad.

She took an earbud out and said, "Can we omit the onions from the salad?"

"Yeah, change them out for garlic to keep my Grandpa Roger away." I chimed in and told Beth.

"He's not vampire." Beth countered.

"Roger looks the same as he did fifteen years ago."

"Eat better, exercise, and sleep." Beth stopped herself from saying more.

Having kids really interrupted the last one. My stress which affected the first two. The gaming system didn't let my exercise too much.

I added one more point. "He also avoids joy. I've never seen him laugh and he doesn't have laugh lines. Let's give him garlic and watch him wrinkle as he finally smiles at wonderful tasting food."

"Well, he has his life figured out, at least. Go get the laundry going. Elaine, how is school going? When do you find out if you get accepted to the camp?"

Beth was in the middle of slicing up the banana for her bread. "I won't know for a while."

"What camp?" I asked.

"Camp like in the…?" Tristan said through a mouth full of cereal and coughed because of his choice.

Beth patted his back, handing him a cup of water. The kid was fine. I looked back at Elaine, waiting for her to answer my question. She only answered Beth's.

Elaine answered her mom. "School's fine. Lots of work lately. No clue on the camp."

"Do you need help with any of the school work? I'm sure your dad can do it. He went to college."

"I'm great at math as an accountant." I wanted to brag about being a CPA, but Elaine wouldn't know what that meant.

"I'm fine." Elaine chomped a giant bite of her peanut butter, banana toast and put her headphones back on.

Tristan settled down as he finished the glass of water. Beth hugged both kids. She gave me a peck on the check and patted the laundry. "Kitchen and this, please."

Ghost got a few extra ear scratches, and like that, Beth was gone and out. I didn't like these days.

Breakfasts flew by too fast. The days were too short.

The clock kept ticking away.

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I got laundry going, focusing on the words to tell Elaine. She didn't need secretive and it would be better to do this in front of Tristan. It would show I knew I wasn't perfect and even adults had room to improve on. As long as I actually acted on it, and not just say sorry. Do better than saying I was going to lose weight, but hide cookies in my desk. First step, I had to get Tristan and Elaine in the car to talk.

With mom gone, so was the vibrant energy the kids had. Elaine was eating with her head rested on the table. Tristan was poking at his cereal, worried about its next attack. With no more breakfast bars left, I had to eat cereal. At least I would enjoy it and life, unlike what Roger would do.

My phone buzzed as notifications came with answers to the question I posted on the Seconds-Over forum last night. The darn auto-mods deleted my questions about hell. Seems the same for anyone looking into heaven. They banned information about it in the middle realm, a B.S. reason. The only posts that survived the mods, where one's people trolled on making some dumb answers to the stairway to heaven or highway to hell.

My question was, what areas could my team go to? We had a tinker and herbalist class, Naiad was an archer and expanding into a new class I didn't know of, and I was a pure warrior with double axes, backup of a shield. The team was anything but meta, but there had to be raids or adventure quests out there near Fanamel for us to do as a family. Ignoring the questions about how I got a herbalist in Fanamel or calling me a liar, there were a few comments saying I should lose the shield and become the reliable damage source. Make our team a glass cannon style.

The fans wanted me to do it.

I've been incredible at fighting once before in Globe of Battlecraft. I could do it again with more practice.

The alarm on my phone buzzed. Elaine looked completely asleep with half a piece of toast in her hand. Tristan found a straw and blew bubbles in his leftover milk to froth it over.

The table needed to be wiped down, and I was out of shirts.

"Elaine, wake up and please put your plate away. Same with you Tristan. It's time to get to school."

And we will finally talk in the car.

Tristan blew one more massive, explosive bubble, laughing before putting his mostly empty bowl now in the sink. I grabbed a towel and dried up the milk, nudging Elaine to move. "Hey, we need to go."

"Nooo," she mumbled.

Crap, I kept her up too late last night. With more gentle nudging, along with the help of Ghost licking her peanut butter hand, she finally got moving. With how exhausted she was, she needed sleep in order to get through the school day. "You can nap in the car," I said kindly, though I was sad. Another missed chance to apologize for what happened and give her a chance to tell me about her side of the problem.

I at least still had Tristan to talk to. Leith wouldn't get between me and my family.

With the kids dragged and pushed into the car, we were finally out the door. Like I said, I'm a professional getting them out of the house.

With a soft gentle voice, to not wake up Elaine, I called out to Tristan. "Hey bud, want to tell me how the vision potion turned out?"

"Um, not sure. I need someone to try it." He stated at normal voice pitch, making his sister grumble in her chair.

"Softer voice, let her sleep. When we get back, I'll try it out." I volunteered.

"Back? Where are you?"

"Hell apparently. We wandered into a portal and ended up there."

"You made a portal?" He squealed, then I glanced back, saw him cover his mouth as a death glare hit him from Elaine.

"No, we found one," I explained. "We're trying to get back to home. Not sure how at the moment. It will probably require another quest." Another distraction. Before my mind went off track, I switched to my main talking point about the game. I couldn't let the Leith be right. "I've missed playing with you these last few days. When I get back, mind if we go out and test your monster vision?"

"Sure!" His voice went up. "You can try it in the woods and give me a report."

"I want you with me. In case this potion does something."

He didn't reply. We passed through a light, and I glanced at Tristian in the mirror again. Concentration or constipation face didn't look good on him. I was almost at Elaine's school. I needed her to be a team member and help get him out of the guildhall.

I tried that angle on Tristan. "I've loved the daughter-dad hunts lately. We've been seeing lots of new things and doing a ton of fights. Elaine can tell you."

She scoffed and raised her voice. "Fun? You dragged me around and forced me to do what you wanted. Tristan, if you want to have fun in the game, stay at the base."

I wanted to turn around and look at her, but she only stared at the window, hand ready to undo her seatbelt and bail the car the moment I got to the parking lot. My foot eased off on the gas to slow down to old grandpa status, five miles below the speed limit.

I wanted her to tell me her side of the story. "What do you mean?"

She stayed quiet, fuming and grinding her teeth, like she wanted to say more, but there was a spell on her. Tristan had his ears covered from her previous outburst.

This conversation needed more time than half a mile to talk. But I gritted my teeth. I had to act now before something else distracted me. She had to be top priority now. "I'm sorry for raising my axe near you. For yelling at you. I lost my cool and a parent shouldn't do that ever. Anything I say is crap excuse if I don't actually act on it. It's just repeating an apology cycle."

My skill in speeches had to be a five out of twenty. There was hardly any traffic in the school parking lot. There wasn't enough time to let her talk, though.

The moment my car came to a stop, she unbuckled and poked her brother. "Hey, if you play with Dad, know he won't notice if you save him. He'll say he did it, because he wants the glory for good ideas." She slammed the door hard enough to shake the car.

She jogged out of the lot and to the school building, ignoring the whistle of the school guard yelling at her for getting out of the car in a non-drop-off zone.

My fingers gripped the wheel tighter, frustrated. I didn't know what she was talking about, which was horrible. Something mattered to her, and I missed it. As we inched around the parking lot, I caught Tristan staring at me in the mirror.

"Dad… you had to be saved?" His fear cracking out in those few words.

I couldn't reply right away. I didn't remember when she saved me. There was so much fighting, and if she did, how did I take the credit? I shook my head. "No. I was fine. There's a miscommunication going on. She is an incredible super hero in fights."

Better than telling a lie.

After a bit of silent driving, we were near his school. "Would you like to go play with me later in the game? We can talk about what is happening to you?"

Tristan gripped at his seatbelt, his lifeline. Slowly and softly, he replied. "Sure. No monsters. No fights. I don't want to die."

I was so preoccupied with the quest that I failed to notice my children's problems. My kid was terrified, and not in the game anymore. Beth, who was barely home lately, heard him screaming in his sleep, and I stayed oblivious, snoring away.

I pulled over in the first parking lot I could find, a coffee shop. I focused on stopping the car before I crashed into the mental wall growing in my mind. To halt this horrible feeling and take time to reflect. I put my head on the steering wheel, unable to control anything, and afraid to move this car the wrong way. With it parked, and a deep breath, I got out, walked over to where Tristan sat, and hugged him.

"Do you need a donut?" I asked, watching his eyes tear around the corner. The small boy nodded his head. "Come on, the advantage of being in first grade is that you don't have any homework to turn in. Let's skip the day and hang out. Dad and son day."

"Sundae! Yes!" Tristan misunderstood.

I sent a message to work taking the day off. Kids come up with the best ideas... Elaine came up with one and I had taken it. This time I wouldn't.

"That's a great idea. Let's get the ingredients at the store."