Hololive – [Fishy] Story book

This story is based about a guy who doing consulting/ therapy for fellow dungeon masters to help them stand the never ending unexpected challenges or nonsense's, that Dm players can put on table. And as expected, its time for a shark to make a confession. No: Gura as Dungeon Master need a consultation from Dungeon Master Therapy (guy).

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And so, the assigned therapist entered the room... From the first glance at this guy was clear, that he had always that one extra slice of cake more; that he maybe shall left untouched. He counter that fact with his (+1 charisma) hat on his head. But his big wide eye-glasses give a hint about how much experience and knowledge he posses in his field. As he close the door behind him, he make his usual professional introduction: "Welcome to master and dragons therapy, how can I help you today?"

Against him is a (shark girl?) with a little hesitation on her voice. "Listen-- Don't be afraid, but-- I mess up and I need an advice."

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As he made his first glance/ observation of his new client (#patient), he for a moment froze with (What the heck is that?!) expression on his face. But as soon she state that she need advice; he snapped back to his senses. "Well, that's what I do. But before you ask: compare to that banana wizard, the mermaids are relative safe zone. So what happened?"

The girl glanced to side for a second until she return her attention back to him. "I'm actually a shark, but straight to the topic!-- We had this session, and as I recall it for the new one-- I notice that I-- might messed up."

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At this point the experience of this guy make him to bark-jump in with his direct question. "Did you PK [Player kill] you entire party and only now you realize they are needed for the campaign to continue?"

On contrast the girl raised her hands in defense to calm him down. "They all knew from begging, that only one from them will stay victorious at the end. The issue can lie down in a way how they died. I mean,-- if we look at it from different angle. Then..."

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He give it a short though with a fatherly gaze. "So your players are unsatisfied how they go out, and now they start making a references that pointing it out. A~and they turned them into a memes. I guess, that the first step to get better at this, is to understand own mistakes."

She was quick to correct him. "No! Actually they seems happy to play it to they end. They even laugh. But the memes… The memes, already popping-out in my mind."

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The therapist raise his eyebrows. "Its understandable that you are worried, that you maybe make something unappropriated. So go on! Tell me what happened."

Gura take a deep breath, before she grabs her courage to share her story. "Considering the show [her/his show], channel [her/his Y2b channel] and memes; I will say, that it went somehow like this:" She take another breath. "It was set that the party will lose all but one of its members, based on how much they will individually screw up. If they do a screw-up, they will get a iX. But, I make a few safety lines for every one to use to save themselves, including giving the iX to someone else in the party. And when you reach a three of those, you are ready to be eliminated. Or sacrificed for the sake of rest."

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The guy rolled his eyes around in clear disbelief. "So, they were like a death curse marks, they receive from steeping onto trap. That's actually a good idea to not rush in and think about it." After he compliment her for making the restrictions, he went directly into schooling her with his strict manners. "But giving them an option to move the death mark onto another player is like sure-fly receipt to make you party fight each other, like a group of pirates above the looted treasure."

But the girl dint bide, being proud of herself with a short (maybe a little sinister?) giggle. "Trust me, they were fighting to the last breath. But they stay wholesome."

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As experienced he was, he only sighed once. "Okay, so move on!"

And she start explaining how the game was going. "Right, so-- it was like this: Ollie, the energetically chaotic zombie barbarian, went down as first."

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"Right, I can from here see that without the death marks, with a unique member like this one, the party will crush the game in no time. So, what happened?"

"Yeah-- so-- about that memes I was talking about-- listen to this!: (We lost the meat shield to the monthly states of moon per a year! No burial was needed, because the corpse left on its own.)"

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One of his Eyebrow skyrocketed up. "Is that a period joke?... And she hold it for the entire year?... I hope this not a theme of all of they deaths."

The girl was hesitant. "Well... Iris, the Nephilim warlock as herald of hope;-- She misspell her answer…" Gura was struggling in formulating the explanation, so she rushed to the second part. "The line is: (We lost our hope! Abandon the mission!)"

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"That's not much descriptive."

"But, before she get eliminated, the warlock jinks her ex-wife, the mage, and die laughing, that it will not take a long until they will be back together."

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"I see, that you have warlock that stay true to his role until her very last breath. I really don't wanna, but I must ask: What happened to the mage?"

"Well, it have connection to a blood."

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He nearly facepalm himself. "God dammit."

"Bea, the tiny chaos mage,-- she fails to construct the correct formula on blood... The line is: (DPS off-line; due anemia!…) And she died screaming her wife name."

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"You said, she was ex and now is regular? Do they have a toxic relationship?"

"Listen-- For those two, you must ask whats they current relation ship is. They re-merry and divorce on a whim. Its like a monthly bloodshed."

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"Now I regret to ask. Those two must be like fire and oil in a lamp. Like: (I love to hate you!) Next!"

"Oh this one was quite a seiso. Ina, the tea vibe priestess of the ancient one… Actually-- she a tricky one. She was out of manna. Then she look onto the light and accept her fate… She was like: (I am out of manna!!) And she lay down putting her hand on her tummy, ready to be put into a tomb."

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"That sound like she will need the most healing from them all and she is a suicidal cleric in this party. We only in half of this season and your party is already broken. Who is next?"

"Mummey the guardian of civilization as howl assassin."

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Suddenly his mood went up. "Like the one from batman? That's actually a cool one."

"She Trip on feet!-- When she miscalculate her chances. Before that, she tried turn against her roommate, but it was in wain, because her target for love assassination was still holding all of her safety ropes."

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"And my hipe is gone. Anyone else?"

"Well, the last one survivor and the victor is: Kronii, the walking perfection as the sole knight of warden of time. Its possible that she had do her (time woo-doo) to compromise Assassin; and actually she was the one who take the owl down."

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The therapy get a really suspicious. "Wait!-- Why I don't like how it sound? What she get from winning the session?"

This time, it was the shark girl who got a little confused. "Get?… She win the game. And when she ask: (For how long I can brag about it?) I told her: (For as long as you want. Like forever.) Get it?-- She is a warden of time."

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The guy sigh. "So let me recapitulate-- She may, or may not, treated everyone like a cannon folder-- You dint give her any valid reward, and you suggesting that you possibly,-- unintentionally,-- if she ever figure it out,-- you Give her a plot armor.-- The most broke attribute; ever. If she ever realize this plot hole, she can demand to Ace every game."

"Oh she already aced this game like a shinning gem. She is like overachiever that love collecting trophies and such."

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He practically bark at her. "And you got so smart to not get her any! How much broken she can possible be?"

Suddenly she was like in serious mod. "Sir!-- Don't know about broken, but-- this perfection is full packed, with sick brick on tummy, that can double as a xylophone. She can throw her owl roommate out of the window and both be okay with it. Get it? Because Mumey is an owl."

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"I get it: The knight and Assassin are couple and you are afraid of the next game, where that knight will possible demand her reward, that she not get, if not craving a revenge for her roommate."

She suddenly look behind her as if she was checking if somebody was not been there. "Oh no, I am not afraid of the warden of time."

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This make the therapist confused and angry. "What?! Then whats you problem?"

"My problem is-- overpowered workaholic tsundere as soul reaper rapper, who are that-one Shinigami apprentice. She is easy to embarrass and fluster. She is a screaming moe powerhouse, that I love to tease. She, as a big sister dad figure; can get quite violent with a tendency to trow a Lolie's into a distance. (Personal experience.) Its nearly 100% accurate to say: that she will eventually blow up. (With my direct, or indirect influence.)" For a split of moment (or it was a subconscious hint), but for that moment, instead of this white-blue themed girl;-- there was this (other?) girl covered in (red or blood marks?), with sinister glare and predatory grin with sharped teeth.

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This make the guy got back into behavior of a professional as if he start to imagine things and need to snap out from it. "I starting to thing, that itsyou, who is actually broken up. Why you even allow this to happen? Whats you campaign theme?"

"Theme? Eh… A mythical be~eings??"

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"I can already imagine how a mess they character sheets muss be."

"A character sheets? They are more like a children's coloring book. Quite personal…"

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At this point he just swing his arm to mentally throwing his worries away. "Okay, let me give you an advice: If there will be an opportunity, make them do a new characters sheets. But this time no advanced buffs and extra points. Make the theme: (...that they are far descendants, fans, or whatever of those mythical being.) Maybe told them that they hold a part of the soul that belong to those mythical being. You can go as far to tell them that they can per boss fight: role play as if they now normal characters, had been possessed by those mythical being who was theirs original characters. But, make them a limitation, that the descendants cannot withstand the power of theirs ancestors. Or you can make, that the boss fight actually cause a Fata-Morgana [a mirage], overwrite they battlefield, that make them believe; that they are actually those mythical beings. (With De-buffs!) But to win, they must fulfill a certain hidden conditions. This way you can have them to role-play, not just the new party, but even they mythical beings, preparing some lines or quotes in advance." As he finish he take a deep breath of relief. "See, now yours campaign will be saved."

Gura was confused to so high degree that she for a moment averted her gaze from him and looked at you. [Fourth wall break.] [Yes, she staring directly at you, for a confirmation of whats going on. Don't just open your eves wide open as you reading those lines! She need yours mental support as she looking for a way how to tell him; That he misunderstand something important.] So she grabs her resolve to look back at him. "Hey,-- those will be nice-- if it was actually possible."

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He has nearly enough. "What are you talking about? Then how the hell the battles go? Don't tell me you actually use those mess in the game? So how do you actually distribute the death marks?"

"Well, I used the puzzles, riddles and brain teasers."

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"Now they actual battle must look like: (Between rounds, one side ass kick entertainment for the audience.) You party is like a collection of final bosses that just vent together on a new adventure on its own."

Gura nervously look around. "Y—yeah. Practically that. What a coincidence??"

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"I know I will regret this, but I will ask. What kind of puzzle you use?"

"Well,-- mostly questions. Like geology, biology, science and such. My favorite are word-play games to figure out what is written there. But the hardest of them are:-- the math."

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The guy had a stone like expression. "Last question: What are you exactly?…"

"Like I said before, a mythical being. The shark from Atlantis. And one of those final bosses."

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The therapist look at his wrist (watch?) and made a statement: "Well look at this! Our time for this session is up. Thank you for coming to the Dungeon master therapy. I hope you take from this session something useful, that will help in your future campaign." Without any hesitation he open the door and left.

Gura stay silent until the door itself closed... Then, she let pass few second, until she made her own statement. "Well... normally I will say something like: (Wow, that was quite the most unusual experience during hide and seek game.) Or: (Nice, he actually don't had any suspicion.) But,-- I call also say: (That the court, dint specified what kind of therapist I shall visit.) Well,-- I shall go then. Bye~e." With a prankster giggle she open the door, sneak out, and left.

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[By Dretnoth November 2022. Edit 29. September 2024.]