Hollywood What If

Hollywood What If Chapter 11

Kazir finished writing every small-budget movie that has huge box offices. 

He realized something obvious.

"Most of them are horror movies." He muttered and looked at the list. 

He saw:

The Last Exorcism

The Devil Inside

The Blair Witch Project 

Paranormal Activity

Etc. 

These movies were famous and made a lot of money.

On the other hand, there were small-budget movies in the comedy genre like 'Napoleon Dynamite' and 'The Full Monty'. 

Kazir thought seriously while tapping his fingers. These movies might be famous, but he had to think about the pros and cons. 

'First of all, let's take 'The Blair Witch Project' off the list. The biggest reason that movie made a lot of money in theaters was because of publicity, viral marketing, and the growing popularity of the Internet.'

The Blair Witch Project cost $50,000 to make. However, the publicity for the movie was over 10 million dollars. Together with the viral marketing that fooled the citizens of North America, 'The Blair Witch Project' became a success. 

Kazir understood that it was impossible to replicate that success now.

The Internet was just getting started and no one was taking it seriously. 

It was still 1995. 

Furthermore, he didn't want to be hated. 'The Blair Witch Project' was notorious in his past life. It didn't have a good reputation and most people hated the movie to the very core of their lives. 

'Then the other movies...'

To be honest, Kazir was confident in making horror and comedy films. He was a small-time director and he had experience in making those kinds of movies. In his experience, he has a bad luck shooting horror movies. None of them were good. 

"... If I had to choose, it would be 'Paranormal Activity' or 'Napoleon Dynamite'".

Napoleon Dynamite was a huge success in North America, but it was coldly received internationally. The main reason was simple: it was released in only two countries and very late. It was almost five months before the movie was released internationally after its first premiere in North America. 

Also, people outside of America couldn't understand the jokes in the movie. 

'But Paranormal Activity was different... Not only did it revive the shaky found-footage format, but it also made a lot of money. '

"No," Kazir finally shook his head. 

"Paranormal Activity sounds good, but it has the same publicity like 'The Blair Witch Project'. They use rumors and social media to promote the movie."

Then Calix turned his attention to the other movies instead.

"What about Saw?"

The movie was known for literally torturing its characters. 

"I can do it. The filming is not difficult, but the budget..."

The production budget for Saw was over $1 million. Kazir had to find an investor if he wanted to make 'Saw'. 

Just like 'Saw', 'The Devil Inside' had the same budget. 

"Even 'The Last Exorcism' has a bigger budget, which was 1.8 million dollars."

He sighed. He understood that choosing a movie to make had to be taken seriously, otherwise his gamble would fail. 

If he was going to gamble, he would make sure that his chances of winning were high. 

"What about 'The Gallows'? But that movie has terrible reviews from the critics."

'The Gallow' had the smallest budget in the list except for 'Paranormal Activity'. 

Paranormal Activity' cost 300 thousand dollars, while 'The Gallow' cost only 100 thousand dollars. 

Between the two, 'The Gallow' had an acceptable price considering Kazir's money. 

Suddenly, Kazir dropped the pen and slammed the table as he stood up. 

"Who am I kidding? The answer is obvious... Let's go with Napoleon Dynamite."

Unlike the other movies, he liked Napoleon Dynamite better. 

He also wanted to film the last scene where Napoleon starts to dance... That was probably the main reason why Kazir chose it. 

He preferred comedy to horror, even though he made many horror movies in his life. 

Unlike horror films, which made him anxious and depressed because it mostly failed, comedy films made him laugh and happy. 

So yes, 'Napoleon Dynamite' it is.

"The found footage format may sound great, but they all have something in common. They are all shaky. People might get a headache watching them." 

To be honest, Kazir saw 'The Blair Witch Project' and it was terrible. He wanted to find the director and asked why he couldn't shoot it steady. The movie was shaking and he felt like he was getting dizzy. 

Considering that the director was a novice, it was a miracle that 'The Blair Witch Project' was successful in theaters. 

Kazir regained his focus and began writing the script. He had to take things seriously and register the script with the Writers Guild. 

The plot, the main characters and the secondary characters. The goofy ahh protagonist and his goofy ahh friend. 

"Perfect."

Kazir wanted to leave his past behind. So shooting a horror movie was impossible.

"If I'm going to be honest, I want to shoot an action movie. It's my biggest dream in my whole life. Unfortunately, shooting an action movie will millions of dollars and it's impossible for someone like me."

Anyway, Napoleon Dynamite, here we go. 

[Author's note: The real reason I chose Napoleon Dynamite is simple... I don't want to watch horror movies for research. The last time I watched 'Final Destination' I became overly cautious of my surroundings].