Chapter 106: He's more handsome
"Kyuri, how are you not right for me? I am the one who is lacking compared to you. It's me who needs you and Little Hae. Little Hae also loves me as her father. " Yeom Young Hwa takes my hand and pats it. "You don't think that it's best for Little Hae if we become a whole family? "
I take my hand back. Little Hae is peeking at us curiously. Can she live without Young Hwa? Will she cry again if I ban him from coming? What's the best decision for her? All I want is for her to be happy. I want to give her everything that she needs and wants. I want to become everything for her, but she still needs someone like Young Hwa.
I say to him, "I will think about it."
A month is gone. Nothing has changed between us. I get caught while I am on the call with my brother, thanks to Little Hae. Young Hwa is also there. He asks me why I didn't introduce him. I don't know either. A part of me is reluctant to accept him as a part of my life, though I am slowly getting used to him.
My daughter learns things fast. Ever since she saw me calling her uncle, she tries to make a call too. I have to hide the phones away from her. One day, her toddler friend Jimmy complains about not having a television at our home. She asks me what television is.
I wonder if I should get one.
I didn't have one before because I don't want to see Kang Si An accidentally. I don't have social media accounts. I don't want to hear or see anything about him in case I waver.
Kids like watching cartoons. That's the only reason why I bring one to the house.
***
The loud voice of the television breaks me out of my trance. Kang Si An's movie is playing on the screen. daughter is looking at it with awe while holding the remote in her hands.
Little Hae turns her chubby head toward me. She points at the screen. "Daddy?"
"..."
She suddenly presses her face on the screen and tries to hug the TV with her little arms. "Daddy"
No.
I take the remote from her hand and change the channel to cartoons. She starts crying and protesting. "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"
I am horrified when I realize that she might be calling Young Hwa her daddy because he is handsome. Will she choose everyone as her father as long as they are handsome?
"That's not your daddy." I have a headache because of her shrill cries. "Why do you call all the handsome men your daddy? Can't you think about your mother's pride once? Because of you, I already have Young Hwa. How many dads do you want?"
She pouts and runs away from me. She has a temper too. Just then, Young Hwa walks in.
"Did mother and daughter fight again?" He picks her up in his arms. "Why is Little Hae troubling her mother?"
She looks at him coyly and coils her little arms around his neck. "Daddy, I want daddy."
Hearing that makes me realize that nothing is going right in my life.
Yeom Young Hwa smiles at her gently. "I am here, Little Hae."
"No, Daddy." She points at Kang Si An on the screen. "That daddy I also want, Daddy."
"..." Young Hwa is also speechless.
She needs to be educated on somethings. "Little Hae, a child has only one daddy and only one mother. That's the law of society. Your mother is me."
I don't say more. Kang Si An is her real father. Maybe when she grows up, I will reveal the truth. I will tell her everything. She will probably understand me.
"Little Hae." He rubs her head. "Am I not handsome enough for you?"
She shakes her head and points at the screen again. "He's more handsome."
I turn off the TV. I pick it up and throw it out of my house right away. She's a bit scared. I don't hate seeing that expression on her face because of me. I need to cool down. I am not proud of what I did. I step out of the house for a moment. Little Hae is a kid. It's my fault that she has turned out like this. I must have done something wrong.
"Come inside." Young Hwa opens the door. "I have put her on the bed."
I walk back into the house. I pace around the room. There are too many thoughts in my mind. Young Hwa puts his hands on my shoulder and forces me to stand still. "Calm down."
I don't know how to calm down.
"Kids are like that." He makes me sit on the couch. "They are easily attracted to eye-catching things. We will work on her habit."
He pauses for a moment. "I think that she needs a father figure in her life. She needs a complete family. Little Hae is different from other kids. I am not around her all the time. I think that my absence affects her."
I wonder if it's really because she doesn't have a permanent father figure in her life. I should have understood that she's different from other children. One can't say how children get affected. For the first time since she is born, I realize that Young Hwa is right. My daughter needs a complete family unless I want her to seek her daddy in every handsome male she sees. She needs to have a father figure who is there for her.
He puts his hand on the top of my head. I realize why Little Hae likes it when he does this to her. It has a calming effect.
"You are right. She needs a father." I let out a sigh. "Marrying you because she needs a father is wrong."
He doesn't say anything. I turn to look at him. I find him staring at me. The atmosphere is suddenly ambiguous. What's going inside his head? I purse my lips. "You need a woman who loves you wholeheartedly."
His lips press against mine. It's so sudden. I become still. He pulls away quickly. His eyes shine as he tucks away strands of my hair behind my ear.
"Kyuri, I like you a lot. I want to build a home with you and Little Hae. I want to grow old with Little Hae and you. Give us a chance. We can get married and find love together with Little Hae."
Give him a chance for Little Hae?
I don't know why I feel cold. I hope that I am not taking a wrong decision. "Let's take a chance."
For the sake of my daughter, I will give this man a chance.