NOVEL NEXT Chapter 102: don't forgive me
Kwon Ki Hoon takes at the man who seems to have gone through hell during the phone call. He doesn't know the exact nature of this man's relationship with his sister. His sister has a complicated history. She slept for 5 months. When she woke up, she suddenly decided to pursue an acting career. Kwon Ki Hoon guesses that the reason must have been Kang Si An.
He can't guess what could have happened between Kang Si An and his sister. Kang Si An is completely blocked out by his sister. He knows one thing that Kang Si An loves his sister. If his sister didn't have any feeling, she wouldn't have left.
"Kang Si An." Kwon Ki Hoon leans forward and rests his elbows on his thighs. The shattered man looks at him with eyes full of sorrow. Kwon Hi Hoon pities him, but there is nothing he can do. "My sister is happy where she is. I think that you should stop now."
She is happy with another man. She also has a child. Kang Si An nods to Kwon Ki Hoon. He understands. Kyuri has left him completely. He stands up quietly and leaves the house. Kyuri has left him behind. He drives back to the apartment. Kyuri doesn't love him anymore.
It's the same apartment. He sits down on the floor and starts drinking, thinking of the first time he met her. The girl who passed out after seeing him. The same girl who claimed in front of the public that she was his girlfriend. He laughs along when he recalls how she used to flirt with him shamelessly. She would come and use the house.
"Kang Si An."
"Kyuri, you are here." Smiling, he moves toward the kitchen. He's too drunk to see clearly. He bumps into several things before he can reach there. The scene is familiar - a memory from the past that never happened in this timeline. Dressed in his shirt, she's cooking something. She's humming a song.
"You are awake." She smiles at him. Her eyes are so bright when she sees him. He will drown in those eyes. He reaches to caress her cheek. The illusion breaks the moment the tips of his finger touches her.
"No. No. Don't go, please." It's been such a long time since he saw her. "Stay here beside me, Kyuri."
"Kang Si An." He hears her laugh. "I am pretty, aren't I?"
"Yes, you are." He steps into the living room to find her. She's standing there with an astonished face. She takes little cautious steps toward him. He can't move. He realizes that they are wearing ancient clothes. She stands in front of him. There are fear and curiosity in her eyes. Her cheeks are slightly rosy due to the chill of the winter. She reaches him cautiously and takes off his mask.
"Kang Si An?"
He embraces her desperately, but there is only air. Kyuri is gone again.
"Li Jun." Kyuri is wailing in the middle of the room. "Why did you have to die?"
He rushes to her and holds her to his chest. "I am not dead. Kyuri, I am here."
Ah. She's gone again.
He sees her drawing circles under the tree. She looks like she has walked out of the gate of the death. He strides toward her. She looks up at him with haunting eyes.
"Kyuri, you have suffered so much." He pulls her in his arms. "I will find a way to -"
The girl in male clothes dissipates into air as soon as he touches her.
"I buried myself alive." She lifts her small head. Seeing her in that state makes him cry in agony There was a time when all she wanted was to die.
The torture keeps repeating until...
"Please believe me once." She begs me with a pained voice as he rips her clothes. "Kang Si An, please don't do this to me."
"Stop." He attempts to stop his hands from hurting her. "Stop. You monster. Stop right at this moment."
Then, the silence descends in the air. It's dark. There's no Kyuri. No memories are replaying over and over again. There is no one in the room except him. The bottle of alcohol is broken on the floor. He takes his phone and leaves the apartment. He can't spend another moment here.
It's 3:15 AM on his watch. He walks on the street with unsteady feet. Drunk and hopeless, he tries to recall her smile that she showed to him.
"Kang Si An." She entwines her fingers with his as they walk on the street. "You will outlive me this time. Don't forget that you promised me."
"Did I?" The woman beside him vanishes again from his side. He can't tell anymore whether he is laughing at himself or crying for her. He keeps walking. Why he is still sane? He climbs the stair one by one, murmuring her name with each step. He reaches the roof. The sky is dark. There is no visible star. There is no moon tonight. Everything has forsaken him.
He sits on the edge with half of his body hanging in the air. He stares at her picture that he stole from her house.
Having a child. Building happiness with her. Taking evening walks with her and their daughter. The way she would tease him. The way he would see her fret after their daughter.
This is a future that never happened. It would never happen. She already belongs to someone else. Someone else has replaced him. She's happy without him.
He deserves this all.
He scrolls through his social media account. He has been posting messages with her name every day since she left, hoping that she would see one. He won't ask anymore. If she wants to punish him this way, he will accept it. He won't ask her to come back anymore.
They have never said goodbye in the past because they knew they would see each other.
He can't see her anymore. She won't allow it. Even from the distance, he can't look at her.
He posts the final message.
[Kyuri, don't forgive me. I don't deserve it. I know that you don't love me anymore. You don't want me to see you. This is your punishment for me. I will accept it all. Please live happily without me. I pray that all the wounds that I gave you become nothing compared to the happiness that you receive in the future. Goodbye.]
The phone slips from his hand. He doesn't know whether she will ever see this message or not. It's fine if she doesn't see it. She will find out in one or another way. He hums the same tune that she used to sing occasionally. Closing his eyes, he imagines being with her. He reaches out to grab her hand. Falling through the air, he finds himself alone again.