Hero Of Broken History

The old cemetery district had earned its reputation honestly. Tombstones leaned at angles that suggested the dead were trying to escape, iron gates hung off hinges like broken teeth, and the fog seemed to have taken up permanent residence regardless of weather.

Kai stood at the cemetery entrance alone, bronze adventurer plate gleaming weakly in the afternoon gloom. The contract had seemed simple enough - investigate strange sightings, report findings, collect payment. Standard scouting work.

He checked the updated notice again. Another Bronze rank had taken the contract too - they were supposed to coordinate.

Where the hell is Avian? He'd gotten separated in the merchant quarter when Avian insisted on taking a "shortcut" through streets that apparently didn't exist anymore.

Through the mist came what could only be described as a walking artistic disaster. Shoulder-length golden hair that looked self-trimmed with a butter knife. Clothing in colors that didn't just clash - they seemed to be having an active war. Greens fought purples while golds tried to mediate and failed spectacularly.

The figure posed dramatically at the gate, one hand on his hip, the other extended toward the sky.

"Fear not, fellow adventurer! The protagonist has arrived!"

Kai stared. Then his lips twitched. Then he started shaking with barely suppressed laughter. Oh no. Oh this is perfect. Avian is going to hate this so much.

"Ah!" The newcomer spun toward him, cape - was that a tablecloth? - billowing dramatically. "You must be part of the supporting cast for today's epic! I am Leontis of Harrowhill, bard extraordinaire, chosen of fate, and narrator of my own legendary tale!"

"Supporting... cast?" Kai managed, trying to get his laughter under control.

"Indeed! Every hero needs companions to witness their glory. You shall be..." Leontis studied him with theatrical intensity, "Comic Relief Number One! Excellent energy, by the way. Very authentic."

"Comic relief," Kai repeated, grinning now. This was too good.

"Now we just need the brooding loner." Leontis looked around expectantly. "There's always a brooding loner. Dark past, mysterious power, probably saves me at a crucial moment to establish our rivalry-turned-friendship. Are they running late?"

"Actually, yes." Kai couldn't help it - he started giggling. "He got lost."

"Lost?" Leontis looked personally offended. "The brooding loner is late to our first encounter? That's terrible narrative pacing!"

"I'm sure he'll—"

"I'm here." Avian's voice came from behind them, slightly out of breath. "City's changed more than I thought."

Kai completely lost it. The timing, the entrance, Avian's annoyed tone - it was perfect. He doubled over, wheezing with laughter.

Leontis spun toward Avian, took in the dark clothing, the controlled posture, the general aura of 'leave me alone,' and gasped with delight.

"THERE'S the brooding loner! Oh, this is perfect casting. Look at you - all sharp edges and repressed trauma. Classic!" He struck another pose. "I'm Leontis, your protagonist for this adventure. You must be..."

"Tired," Avian said flatly. "I'm tired."

"Avian," Kai supplied helpfully, still grinning. "He's Avian."

"Avian the Tired! What a delightfully subversive character name. Really plays against type." Leontis pulled out a small notebook and began scribbling. "Chapter Twenty-Three: In Which The Protagonist Meets His Eventual Best Friend, Though Neither Knows It Yet."

For fuck's sake, Avian thought, watching this disaster in human form narrate their meeting. This is what the universe sends me? A delusional bard with the fashion sense of a blind peacock?

"Right," he said aloud. "The contract. Investigate, report, leave. Simple."

"Simple?" Leontis tucked his notebook away with a hurt expression. "Nothing involving the protagonist is ever simple. This seemingly mundane scouting mission is clearly the beginning of an epic quest that will reshape the very—"

"It's checking a cemetery for weird shit," Avian interrupted. "Not saving the world."

"That's what they all say in Act One." Leontis winked at him. "Denial is such a classic hero trait."

"We should get started," Avian said, already regretting every life choice that had led to this moment. "Before dark."

"Ooh, yes! The ominous deadline!" Leontis practically bounced through the cemetery gates. "Will our heroes complete their mission before nightfall? Or will darkness bring new challenges to test the bonds of their newly formed fellowship?"

"I've known you for two minutes and I already want to test the bonds of your neck," Avian muttered.

"Sexual tension already? My, we're moving fast through the character development!"

Avian's hand moved to Fargrim's hilt.

"He's joking," Kai said quickly, though his eyes danced with mirth. "Right, Leontis? You're joking?"

"The protagonist never jokes about narrative structure." Leontis had already wandered ahead, examining tombstones with theatrical interest. "Oh, look at this one! 'Here lies Marcus Stern, taken before his time.' Clear foreshadowing. Someone's definitely dying today."

"Yeah," Avian said quietly. "You, if you don't shut up."

But Leontis had already moved on, narrating his discoveries to an imaginary audience. "The mist grows thicker as our hero ventures deeper into the realm of the dead. What secrets lie buried beneath these ancient stones? What darkness awaits—"

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A sound cut through his monologue. Not wind through the tombstones or creaking gates. Something wet. Something hungry.

All three of them went still.

"Okay," Leontis whispered, and for the first time, his voice was serious. "That's not atmospheric background noise."

"No," Avian agreed, drawing his sword smoothly. "It's not."

The fog parted, revealing their objective. A creature that might have been human once, if humans were made of rotting meat and bad decisions. It crouched over a freshly disturbed grave, doing something unspeakable to whatever it had dug up.

"Ghoul," Kai identified quietly. "Nasty ones. They—"

"Feed on the recently dead and occasionally the recently living," Leontis finished, his theatrical tone completely gone. "Weak to fire and silver. Tendency to travel in packs."

Avian glanced at him, surprised by the actual useful information.

Leontis noticed and immediately grinned. "What? The protagonist always does his research. Page forty-seven of 'Monsters Most Foul.' I have the illustrated edition."

The ghoul's head snapped up, milky eyes focusing on them with predatory interest. Bits of something best not identified dripped from its maw.

"Right," Leontis said, pulling out what appeared to be a lute. "Time for the protagonist's combat debut! Prepare to be dazzled by—"

The ghoul charged.

Avian moved first, intercepting it before it could reach the still-posing bard. His blade met claws with a sound like breaking pottery. The creature was fast, driven by supernatural hunger, but Avian had fought worse things wearing better bodies.

"That's my dramatic entrance you're stealing!" Leontis protested, even as he strummed his lute. The notes that emerged were... wrong. They crawled under the skin, made the air taste of copper and old fears.

The ghoul hesitated, confused by the sonic assault. Kai took the opening, knives finding the soft spots between ribs with practiced ease.

"See?" Leontis beamed as the ghoul collapsed. "Teamwork! The protagonist's inspiring presence brings out the best in—"

Three more ghouls emerged from the fog.

"You were saying?" Avian asked dryly.

"The protagonist's journey is fraught with escalating challenges?"

"Shut up and play something useful."

What followed was less battle than choreographed chaos. Avian carved through undead flesh with brutal efficiency. Kai danced between tombstones, leaving bleeding ghouls in his wake. And Leontis...

Leontis was actually competent.

His music shifted constantly - sometimes bolstering his allies' movements, sometimes disrupting the ghouls' coordination. When one got too close, gestures sent illusory copies of himself scattering in all directions, confusing the creature long enough for Avian to remove its head.

"Chapter Twenty-Four!" he called out mid-combat. "The Protagonist Reveals His Hidden Depths!"

"Focus!" Avian snarled, cutting down the last ghoul.

"I am focused! Narrative focus is still focus!"

They stood among the twice-dead corpses, catching their breath. The cemetery had gone quiet again, fog swirling around them like it was embarrassed by the interruption.

"That was..." Kai paused, searching for words.

"Exactly as the prophecy foretold?" Leontis suggested hopefully.

"I was going to say messy, but sure."

Avian wiped his blade clean, studying the bard with new interest. Beneath the ridiculous persona, there was actual skill. The magic had been subtle but effective. The positioning, while theatrical, had been tactically sound.

"You're not completely useless," he admitted grudgingly.

Leontis clutched his chest dramatically. "Be still my heart! The brooding loner offers praise! This is clearly the moment our rivalry begins its slow transformation into grudging respect!"

"I take it back. You're extremely useless."

"Too late! Character development has occurred!" Leontis pulled out his notebook again. "I must document this for posterity. The exact words were 'not completely useless' - practically a declaration of friendship in brooding loner speak."

Kai was laughing again. "We should finish scouting. There might be more."

They moved deeper into the cemetery, Leontis somehow managing to narrate while maintaining actual alertness. It was impressive in an annoying way.

"So," the bard said as they searched, "what tragic backstory led you to the adventuring life, Avian the Tired? Dead parents? Murdered lover? Mysterious curse?"

"Boredom," Avian lied flatly.

"Boredom?" Leontis looked personally offended. "That's the worst tragic backstory I've ever heard. We'll have to work on that. Maybe discover you're secretly royalty? Or harboring a dark power that—"

"How about you?" Avian interrupted. "What made you decide you're the protagonist of reality?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Leontis gestured at himself grandly. "Golden hair, natural charisma, mysterious past, prophetic dreams about saving the world? I tick all the boxes!"

"Prophetic dreams?"

For just a moment, something flickered across Leontis's face. Something real beneath the performance. Then it was gone, replaced by his usual grin.

"Oh yes! Very dramatic. Lots of symbolism. A great evil rising, a hero with a dark past, bonds forged in battle. Standard prophecy stuff."

Avian exchanged glances with Kai, who shrugged. The cemetery yielded no more ghouls, though they found evidence of recent disturbances - opened graves, claw marks, the occasional gnawed bone.

"Sufficient for a report," Kai decided. "Guild contract complete."

"What?" Leontis looked aghast. "We can't stop now! This is clearly just the prelude. The ghoul infestation is obviously connected to a larger plot involving—"

"Involving us getting paid and going home," Avian finished.

"You have no sense of narrative structure."

"I have a perfect sense of not fighting undead without good reason."

They bickered all the way back to the guild, Leontis insisting this was the beginning of an epic partnership while Avian insisted it was the beginning of a headache. Kai just enjoyed the show, occasionally adding fuel to keep them going.

At the guild, Clara processed their report with professional efficiency. "Ghoul pack confirmed and eliminated. Here's your payment - fifty silver split three ways."

"The protagonist doesn't concern himself with material rewards," Leontis announced.

"Great. We'll take your share," Avian said immediately.

"I said doesn't concern himself, not refuses entirely!" The bard clutched his portion protectively. "Even heroes need to eat."

As they left the guild, Leontis threw an arm around each of their shoulders. "This has been delightful! Same time next week for our continuing adventures?"

"Absolutely not," Avian said.

"Definitely," Kai said at the same time.

They looked at each other.

"He's entertaining," Kai defended.

"He's insane."

"Entertainingly insane. We're staying at the Silver—"

Avian shrugged off the arm and shot Kai a sharp warning look. The last thing they needed was this delusional bard knowing where they slept.

"—smith district," Kai finished smoothly, catching on. "The Silver Smith district. Lots of inns there."

"The protagonist," Leontis interjected, "is right here and can hear you debating his merits. Also, that was the worst cover-up I've ever witnessed. 'Silver Smith district?' Really?"

"Better than telling you exactly where to find us," Avian said flatly.

"Fair point!" Leontis beamed. "I do tend to show up uninvited. It's part of my charm."

"Please don't."

"Too late! The muse has spoken!"

He wandered off, already humming something that sounded worryingly catchy. Avian watched him go with the expression of someone questioning all their life choices.

"He's going to be a problem," he said.

"Oh, definitely," Kai agreed cheerfully. "But an amusing one. Besides, he's actually good in a fight. That illusion magic was impressive."

"Mmm." Avian started walking back to their inn. "There's something else there. Under all the... that."

"You caught it too? The moment when you asked about prophetic dreams?"

"Yeah. He's hiding something."

"Aren't we all?"

They walked in comfortable silence through the evening crowds. Behind them, somewhere in the night, Leontis's voice rose in song:

"Oh the brooding loner said to me, 'You're only slightly useless!' A friendship forged in ghoulish gore, Though he claims it's all truthless!"

"I'm going to kill him," Avian decided.

"Sure you are," Kai laughed. "Right after you figure out why he interests you."

Avian didn't dignify that with a response. But as they reached the Silver Swan, he found himself wondering what kind of dreams made someone decide they were the protagonist. And why those dreams had put real fear in the bard's eyes, just for a moment.

Tomorrow's problem. Tonight, he just wanted to wash ghoul blood off his clothes and pretend he hadn't accidentally made another friend.

Even if that friend was completely insane.