Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself

With chi-filled food powering our stride, we made it back to New Tropica in no time at all.

The moment we caught sight of the village, I stopped walking and leaned down toward Maria. “Are you seeing this too?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I was just wondering if the barbecue gave the food a hallucinogenic boon or something...”

“You’re not imagining it, Fischer,” Theo said, assessing the movement on the street. “You’d be excited too if you’d just been granted your freedom.”

A dozen or so people were visible, all cultivators that we’d brought back from Gormona. Most were by themselves, but four stood in a loose circle, animatedly discussing something.

“What are they doing...?” I asked.

“Crafting,” he replied. “Or planning what to work on? They’re doing whatever they please, basically.”

“Huh. Neat.”

We resumed our passage. As people caught sight of us, they waved, nodded, or outright stared. I returned every nod and wave. By the time we reached the next street—and the next wave of cultivators—I sighed. “My head might topple off if I nod back at everyone.”

“You know you don’t have to return them, right?” Maria asked, smiling up at me.

“Yeah, but that would just be downright rude.”

“If I didn’t know any better,” Barry said, “I’d think they see you as some kind of god or something.”

“Yeahhhh,” I drawled. “I wonder how that happened.”

Though I put on a show of being bothered, seeing them act under their own autonomy—and the purpose with which they moved—filled my metaphorical cup to the brim. I had brought them back to Tropica out of necessity; I couldn’t live with leaving them behind and subjecting them to the crown’s cruelty. I’d wanted them to find meaning here just as I and the rest of the congregation had, but I didn’t think they’d adopt it so soon...

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” I whispered to Maria.

“It is.” She swept a strand of sun-bleached hair behind her ear. “And it’s all thanks to you.”

I made a so-so gesture. “Not all me. We might not have gone so far in the capital if it wasn’t for Barry asking for our help.”

She blew air from her lips.

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Did you just blow a raspberry at me?”

“I did,” she replied. “And I’ll do it every time you say something silly. Are you telling me you’d have gone to the capital and not come back with all the grove’s cultivators? Our plan was to go and steal some passiona bushes. You’d have gotten there, knocked them all out and defeated Tom Osnan Sr., and then just left them there? I seriously doubt it.”

“Okay, you might be right, but it would have been much harder to bring them back without Pelly and Bill airlifting them here.”

“Yet you’d have worked it out.” She squeezed my arm. “You always do.”

“We always do,” I corrected, resting my hand on hers.

I peered into the smithy as we walked past, seeing at least ten of the new arrivals within. Duncan was instructing them while Fergus watched on. The head smith gave me a grin and wave, making the rest of the class turn and either wave or blanch. One lady did both.

As we walked from view, Maria giggled, covering her mouth. “Everyone showing you so much veneration will take some getting used to.”

“Right? I’m gonna have to embarrass myself often and flagrantly to make them lose a bit of respect for me. All this admiration is uncomfortable.”

Each building we passed had at least a handful of cultivators. Ruby and Steven were instructing their group together, showing them around a massive loom. Roger, upon seeing a group hefting farming tools like weapons, split off and marched toward them, grumbling something about ‘foolish cultivators’ under his breath. A man and woman were set up in the new tannery. I raised an eyebrow at Ellis, curious if he’d go instruct them, but he studiously ignored their presence, clearly wanting to witness the conversation to come.

A pair of shadows passed over me, and I craned my head back, smiling at the two forms gliding on unseen winds high above. “They’re keeping watch?”

“Just so,” Barry replied. “At least for the first couple of weeks, we’ll need to rely on Bill and Pelly to ensure we have no runaways.”

I waved up at them and twin honks boomed back, loud enough to be heard from hundreds of meters above. With my head casting a smile up at them, we arrived at the prison. Someone yelled from inside. I shared a glance with Maria, then dashed in, following the words. As we passed the cells, I couldn’t help but marvel at their construction.

Even calling it a prison felt like a lie.

Though each room was made of solid stone and had a barrier of bars blocking any escape, the walls opposite had reinforced windows, letting in the light of day and allowing the captives to see the forest beyond. Sconces sat between each window, magical flames burning within that cast an orange glow. Each cell had a plush bed, a table and chair, and plumbing, making the penitentiaries back on earth look like gulags.

When we passed the first prisoner, I found him reading a book. It was the man that had tried to run, and I wondered why he’d attempted to flee. Did he have some Stockholm Syndrome going on, still holding allegiance to the crown despite their treatment of him and his fellow cultivators? Was it more simple, and the man had just been looking for a chance to betray us and escape? Noticing us, the man looked up, scowled, then spat to the side.

Maria and I raised our eyebrows at each other, but our amusement was cut short.

“How long did you know?” a voice demanded from up the hall. “Stop playing games!”

We sprinted up the corridor and around a corner. Keith stood with a reassuring hand on Trent’s shoulder, who was shaking with rage as he stared into a cell.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the voice of Tom Osnan Jr. replied, holding as much condescension as usual.

Trent’s fist lashed out, slamming into the bars. When it struck, chi rushed from his core and out of his extended limb. A gout of fire raged against the metal bars, but their power was absorbed and sucked into the streams of essence suffusing the entire building. If my awareness wasn’t so advanced, I might have dashed forward and blocked the blow, but even if the bars weren’t there to negate the attack, there was no killing intent in the flames that Trent unleashed. He was evidently pissed, but wasn’t trying to assassinate the troublesome Osnan.

Claws let out a coo I took to mean, ooo, very grumpy.

Snips, however, wasn’t so jovial. She flew forward on her jets of water-aspected chi, sliding to a stop between Trent and the prison. She held her claws open, ready to defend the captive cultivator if need be.

“It’s okay, Snips,” Keith said, crouching down so they were eye to eyestalk. “He won’t hurt him.”

Snips blew hesitant bubbles, unsure of her next move, so I intervened. “It’s all good, Snips.” I strode over and scooped her up into a hug. “You can trust Keith.” I turned a grin Tom Osnan Jr.’s way. “Besides, it’s not like this bloke is going anywhere.”

The formerly secret cultivator’s bluster was entirely gone, and he stared at Snips and I with open-mouthed panic.

“How are you doing, mate?” I asked Trent, hoping I could assuage some of his hatred.

When his eyes met mine, a war waged across his face. I struggled to comprehend the complicated emotions.

Before I could understand what had him so conflicted, Keith put a hand on Trent’s shoulder again. “Come on, cousin. I think Fischer has some business here.”

They both made to leave, but before they could get past, Ellis stepped in the way.

“One moment if you please, Keith.” He had his pen and paper ready. “What were you and Osnan talking about, Trent?”

“Not now, Ellis,” Keith replied, taking a step past him.

But Ellis blocked his passage again. “I am afraid it is reaching the point that I must insist, Keith. I trust you, but your behavior since we returned has been troublesome...”

Unbridled fury crossed Keith’s face, but as he looked down, I got the impression it wasn’t entirely because of Ellis.

“Not. Now. Ellis.” He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath, then spun on Theo. “I swear that neither of us have any intention of hurting Tropica, New Tropica, any of you, or your interests. We also have no intention of leaving.”

“True,” Theo replied, cocking his head slightly. “I didn’t think you did though, Keith...”

“Trent.” Keith nudged his cousin softly in the side. “Tell them.”

Trent repeated the same message, his eyes somewhat distant.

It was the first time I’d had an up-close look at Trent since he’d awakened. He had changed dramatically. His face, once looking like a thrice-stubbed toe, was now handsome. A defined jaw and severe eyes stared unrepentantly, darting between Ellis and Theo. His voice, too, had altered. I didn’t even recognize it when I heard it from around the corner earlier. Before, it had been nasally. Petulant. Now, it was deep and commanding, as if he expected the world itself to bend before him.

“Also true,” Theo replied, giving Ellis a meaningful look. “I think it’s best that we let our friend pass.”

“Friends,” Keith stressed, stepping past Ellis and giving us a challenging glance.

“Right.” Theo nodded. “Friends.”

Trent didn’t reply, looking at the ground as he followed Keith down the corridor.

“Hey!” I called. “Prince!”

Trent spun, my raised voice having pulled him from his thoughts.

I grinned at him. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. If you ever want a relaxing afternoon, feel free to come for a fish. No questions asked—just the ocean, fresh air, and a good time.”

His brow furrowed, but from behind Trent, Keith gave me a small smile, nodding his thanks.

“Sure...” Trent replied, his voice once more catching me off guard with its timbre.

The moment they rounded the corner, I spun on Tom Osnan Jr. An odd combination of fear and sheer incredulity covered his face.

“What are you...?” he asked.

“I’m your friendly neighborhood fisherman, here to make friends, pat cute animals, and have a good time.”

Corporal Claws leaped up to my shoulder, rubbing her cheek against mine as she let out a loving coo.

Tom Osnan Jr’s eyes flew wide as she came into view, no doubt recalling the way she’d slammed into his wife and turned her into an abstract windmill. “You!”

I suspected he’d have reached for his chi and attacked us if he had the ability to. Fortunately for all of us, there was a rather annoying little device preventing that.

“Was the collar necessary?” I asked Barry.

He shrugged. “Better to be safe than sorry, and if anyone has to wear one, it may as well be someone who was fine with collaring others.”

“So, Tom. Can I call you Tom? Good. Anyway, here’s the thing—I know you’re kind of an evil prick, but if you have a change of heart and want to become one of us, I’m sure we can arrange to—” I cut off as Tom gathered chi and slammed his fist into the ground. I raised an eyebrow, curious if he was trying to unalive himself, but then the vines sprouted.

They flew from him, writhing over the floor and creating a wall between himself and us.

“Huh...” I said. “I think he found a neat little loophole, Barry.”

Barry shrugged again. “He’s still stuck in there, we just can’t see him. Want to talk to his wife instead?”

I bellowed a laugh. “Sure—assuming she doesn’t do the same thing.”

We walked seven cells down the hall, and when we reached her, she was already staring a hate-filled gaze our way.

“Nice to meet you, Lady Osnan, I’m—”

“Leave me be.”

“What’s the matter? Do you not have some ability to wall yourself off like your cowardly husband?” I projected the last two words, making sure they made it through the vines Tom had erected. “If you ask me, it was pretty messed up of him to leave you alone to deal with our questioning.”

Her mouth bunched at the corners for a moment, quickly replaced by bureaucratic stillness. “My husband is a brave and trusting man. He knows I’ll stand strong—no matter what despicable methods of torture you use.” She turned to meet my eyes in an attempt to show an unyielding front.

Theo snorted, shattering the facade. “Lie. You think he’s a coward too.”

“Yeah,” I added. “I could tell that too, and I’m not even a crown auditor.”

“Crown auditor...?” she asked, her eyes widening.

“Former crown auditor,” Theo corrected.

“Traitor!” she moved in a blur, striking out at the bars with an honestly impressive kick. Her strike was no match for the chi-enhanced metal, and her collar let out a warning beep.

“Strike one,” I said. “Two more remaining. I don’t suppose you’ll answer some questions for us?”

After a few heaving breaths, she straightened her clothes, turned on her heel, and strode to sit at a small chair beside a writing desk. “No.”

“Truth.” Theo shrugged. “It was worth a shot, I guess.”

“Well, our offer stands for you too, Lady Osnan.” I turned to leave. “If you want to live free, you just need to decide to be one of us. Theo will obviously vet your answer, but—”

“I would never betray the crown. I—” She abruptly cut off, her eyes widening on Theo. Before she could continue, she swiveled her chair to face the far wall.

As we walked away from the captives, Theo smirked at me. “Partial truth.”

“Oooooh,” Maria said. “Spicy.”

Ellis stopped mid-step, hunching to scratch notes in his notepad.

I grinned. “Surprising, to be honest. She was all too keen on attacking us when she thought we were regular humans. She even tried to kick Borks!”

I leaned down to rub his head, the golden retriever shaped hellhound appearing not at all bothered by my mention of it.

I took a deep breath as we stepped out onto the sunny street. “Now that we’ve planted the seed of rebellion in their minds, what are you guys gonna get up to?”

“I suppose I will go help those fledgling leatherworkers,” Ellis replied, still scribbling as he wandered away.

“Barry and I have some things to attend to.” Theo patted Barry on the back. “Let’s go, yeah?”

Claws saluted, kissed Maria and me on the cheek, and leaped on Borks’s back. She stood proud and tall, puffing her chest out like she was riding a horse into battle as she directed him to follow Barry.

“Godspeed, you little weirdo,” I said, causing her to cast a needle-sharp grin my way.

“So,” I pursed my lips as I looked at Maria and Sergeant Snips. “Can I take it you two are…” I looked around. “Wait, where’s cinnamon?”

Movement caught my attention to my right, and I turned just in time to see Pelly swoop down and collect the miscreant bunny. She gave me a wink as Pelly flapped her wings and returned to the sky.

I shook my head. “They’re all as weird as each other.”

“I’m sorry, did you just say they’re weird?” Maria asked.

“All right, you’ve got a point there. We’re all as weird as each other. Better?”

“Much.”

“Where was I? Oh yeah—are you two free?”

Snips nodded up and down, blowing happy little bubbles.

“Hmmm,” Maria said. “I suppose I could spend some time with you...”

“Really? You would grace this lowly one with your presence?” I bowed at the waist and pressed my fists together. “This one thanks you, elder sister.”

“Please never say that again.”

“You started it,” I replied, straightening.

“Truce, then.” She wove her fingers with mine. “What did you have planned?”

“I want to go see some old friends.” I cast my gaze toward the forest to the north. “I’m sure they’ve been busy little bees since I last saw them…”