Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself

While the land I owned seemed to be barren farmland, it was anything but empty of life.

Small weeds, grasses, and bushes grew sporadically, with small wren-like birds flying between them and making pretty sounds as they snatched up insects.

I was tempted to walk directly down to the beach and make my way along it, but I had a better view of my lands from between the shoreline and the forest, and there was yet plenty of time in the day.

There were a few spindly trees that looked half-dead—the kind that even a cyclone had no chance of uprooting—growing from the sandy soil around me as I walked. Other than those few, there were no trees until the forest a-few-hundred meters to the west.

George said that my land stretched back a kilometer—meaning vast swaths of that forest are mine.

I smiled in delight.

It didn’t take me long to walk all the way to the river-mouth, excited as I was.

As I arrived, I saw the familiar bushes bearing blackberries that had been my fuel and savior in the forest. In all likelihood, the same creek that had wet my thirst flowed down and into the very river before me.

I took a moment to thank the land for everything it provided so far—if not for the berries, and especially the water, I may never have made it to Tropica.

There would be no shortage of wood for construction or fire, as along the banks of the river, entire trees and branches lay felled, washed up by flooding in the recent past.

I peeled the bark off one such tree, seeing the wood firm and unrotten beneath.

There were also some of the spindly trees still thriving in their spots on the bank, their great roots reaching deep enough that they weren’t washed away by raised water levels.

I walked over to one of the berry bushes and bent down, taking my time to inspect and make sure it was the exact same plant I knew to be safe.

Satisfied, I indulged in the sweet berries.

I walked down to the water and cocked my head to the side as I stared at the river in confusion. I’d expected the waters to be muddy and brown, as most rivers are, but it was almost crystal clear. The floor of the river was covered with small stones, and it was shallower than initially expected, but still too deep to cross by foot.

Scooping up some of the water, and having started a small campfire, I started the purification process. As it boiled, I contemplated my options.

If I was being honest with myself, I felt paralyzed by choice. There was so much I wanted to do, all of which would take me in drastically different directions. As much as I wanted to get cracking on my fishing destiny, there were some things I had to sort out first.

Water and food were still taken care of, if a little crudely, but I’d be able to develop something more long-term later.

I slapped my face, forcing myself to make a decision and end the paralysis.

I would find somewhere flat to establish a shelter in the short-term, and a home in the long-term.

The best thing to do would be to find a high vantage point, and to look out over the land. I turned to the headland, which was only one-hundred meters from my current position. The rock formation there was easily thirty meters tall, and twice that in length.

A perfect position to scout the area from.

As I walked towards the stones, a wind rushing in from the coast buffeted me. I wasn’t sure if it was the excitement of the day, but I felt stronger—my legs were filled with energy, like I could go on forever.

It was as though my body had somehow grown more resilient; as if something powered my stride. The gale-force wind would have threatened to knock me over on Earth, but I now strode through it with ease.

When I got to the rocks, I looked for a place to climb, but found something even more interesting.

There was a cavernous gap between the colossal boulders, shielded from the coastal winds by the natural stone formation. The space was flat and stood at least five meters above sea-level. I knelt down and ran my hand through the earth. It was soft and pliable, meaning I could install the most vital things for any home, fantasy world or not—plumbing.

With that, I knew I’d found the place to construct my temporary shelter, and eventually, my home.

I walked around the space, picturing how I’d one day lay out the permanent build.

Four bedrooms—enough for friends to stay over, and maybe even a family one day; two bathrooms, both with a shower, toilets, and all the necessary plumbing required; a large kitchen with every pot and pan one could desire; and an even larger entertaining area outside, kitted with accompanying barbecue, a sink big enough to scale and fillet fish, and a large wooden deck for entertaining.

Bending down, I put my hand against the cool earth where I pictured the entrance of the house would go.

There was a tug at my hip.

Shooting to my feet, I spun, suspecting that someone had grabbed the leather pouch, but no one was there.

I put my hand in the pouch and found it empty; the remaining coins that should be there were gone.

My head spun, and the world itself seemed to shake.

My legs failed me, and as the ground rushed up to meet me, I blacked out.

***

I woke to a blinding light blasting into my eyes.

Blinking, I tried to look around, but the light was overwhelming to my addled mind.

Something firm and cold was beneath me, and I felt it with my hands as I gingerly got to my feet.

My vision cleared, and I seemed to be inside of some sort of building. It was made of light textured wood, with a great glass window that let in the blinding sunlight.

What… what happened? Was it a dream, after all?

I turned from the sun, deciding to explore the building I now found myself in.

I fumbled to a door, and grabbing the metal handle, I opened it. Stepping through the doorway, my eyes cleared in the reduced light. I saw something that both confused and amazed me.

A bed sat before me.

It was made of sturdy lacquered wood, covered in plush bedding, sheets, and pillows, and adorned by a beautifully carved headboard. It wasn’t just any bed, but the bed I’d been picturing in my head as the one I would furnish my forever-home with.

Where I’d pictured an en-suite, there was a door.

I opened it to find a shower, sink, giant bathtub, and blessedly, a toilet. Absentmindedly, I walked over and flushed the toilet. It worked, and the water drained away, replaced with more of the clear liquid. I checked the sink and shower, both of which ran clear. The water in the sink smelled fine, and with no small amount of trepidation, I tasted some—it was fresh and clean. I knew there was a slight chance it contained hazardous microbes, but because there were other humans close-by should I fall ill, or because my senses still hadn’t completely returned, I chose to risk it.

As I walked out of the bedroom and back into the room I’d awoken in, the view took my breath away.

My eyes had adjusted, and through a great glass window, the setting sun reflected off the waters of the river. The familiar headland, the same river-mouth, and the far-off mountains were all there.

I checked the rest of the house quickly, all but running as I confirming all the details I’d pictured. Three spare bedrooms, a communal bath, shower, a toilet, and a large kitchen with an attached dining area. The bathroom and kitchen were both less ostentatious than I’d pictured, which I supposed was because of some sort of limitation by the System, or because I didn’t have any more currency to offer.

The difference in the kitchen was most notable, as it lacked an oven or stove of any kind. It was still lavish and looked more at home in a restaurant than a house. The entire thing was covered in stainless steel, with pots, pans, and utensils of every shape and size littered throughout, all organized meticulously on shelves and hooks.

There was a dining area attached with a large hardwood table within that was big enough to accommodate all ten of the seats tucked into it.

I stepped past the table, towards double-doors that led outside. I held my breath as I opened them, hoping against hope that what I’d pictured outside had made it into the build—but it wasn’t meant to be.

My pride, my joy, my ray of hope in the dark night was most definitely not there—there was no barbecue.

I found myself on a large wooden deck.

It would be the perfect place for a barbecue, I reflected, protected from the wind as it was, but I guessed I’d just have to go about crafting my own in good time.

“Cooking by campfire it is, then—if I catch any fish, that is.”

I laughed to myself as I realized I was complaining at not receiving a barbecue, when a house had just appeared from thin air.

Walking on the deck around to the front of the house, the view was stunning.

The sun still played off the water, and the fading light cast an ethereal tint over the land.

It was untouched by civilization; the view from my home showed none of the town, hidden as it was by the rock formation. All I saw was a river, ocean, sand, vegetation, mountains, and a beautiful sky painted pink by fading sunlight.

A wind picked up, and the air was cool as the warmth of the day fled alongside the sun. The breeze swirled around me, most of its force robbed by the relative shelter the house occupied. The moving air tickled the back of my neck as I watched the last vestige of sunlight disappear over the mountains to the west.

There was a small table with four chairs beside the front door, and I sat in one of them, not knowing what else to do. Remembering what happened earlier, I felt for the pouch at my side. It was still there, but as I’d suspected, was empty of the gold coins.

This world, this System… it had taken all twenty-four of my coins, and had built me a home.

As if to taunt me, I received an infuriatingly familiar prompt.

[Error: Insufficient power. Superfluous systems offline.]

“Well, I guess that means I won’t have to make a shelter for the night…”

On the bank of the river just before my new home, there was a large swath of the berry-laden bushes, filled to the brim with the sugary snacks. They seemed to call to me, and I went.

I inspected them, and sure enough, they were safe. I ate some, only now realizing just how hungry I’d become. Collecting some more for later in my stone bowl, I turned to look at my house. From down on the river bank, it looked almost… quaint. The visible surface peeking from between sheets of rock hid the depth and size of the dwelling.

Is buildings springing up from nowhere a normal feature of this world?

I somehow doubted it, given the materials and rather crude method with which the houses of the village were constructed. What would the villagers think if they came over and saw a house, where the day before there’d been nothing?

They’d probably burn me alive, like so many witches before me.

A smile crept onto my face.

This world was strange, confusing, and alien, but oh so exciting.

I had no local currency, but I had access to food, water, shelter, and endless possibilities.

I stood up on shaky legs.

As it turned out, trading a handful of gold for an instant-build house was rather exhausting. I ambled back to the master bedroom, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.