Here, Have a Cookie a Pokemon Fanfiction

May was looking at Trapinch’s Poke Ball as we left the Oldale Center. I stretched my arms as I stared out across the clearing towards the gate to Route 102.

‘Oi, be mindful of your passengers.’ Emilie complained.

‘If you don’t like my stretches, walk. You’ve got working legs,’ I said, shooting her a coy grin.

Silence.

‘That’s what I thought.’ I grabbed Apollo’s ball and let him out as well.

I was very quickly learning that I really liked just... hanging out with my Pokémon. I smiled as he perched on my shoulder.

‘Ahoy, Captain.’

“Good morning, Apollo. I thought you might like a chance to stretch your wings,” I said.

‘Aye, the ball is... surprisingly comfortable, but being in the open air and hanging out with my new mates sounds like fun. Thank ye, lass.’ I nodded, before looking over at May.

“You know you can just call his name and he’ll come out and say hi, right?” I asked.

May jumped a bit. I chuckled before moving to stand closer.

“He seemed pretty chill last night, and he warmed up to you fast once you fed him,” I said.

“I know, I’m just nervous. I want him to like me, not just... tolerate my existence,” May said.

“May, you’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. As long as you spend time with the little airhead, I think he’ll love spending time with you as much as I do. Just let the little guy out and say hi. Hell, let Suzaku out too. I miss the little guy.” Gal. Suzaku’s a gal, Lea.

“Probably a good idea, they need to work through... things,” May said as she pulled out a second ball.

That was a fun and exciting way to say that Trapinch thought Suzaku looked tasty.

“Come on out, everyone,” May said.

“Pinch!” Trapinch roared to the world as May let him out of his ball before slamming his mandible into the ground.

Suzaku quickly moved to stand behind May’s leg as the light from their release faded.

“Pinch?” Trapinch asked, tilting his head... mouth... thing to look at us.

I looked towards Emilie, who shook her head.

“What gives?” I complained. She didn’t have any issues translating for Suzaku and Apollo.

‘He... hasn’t really said anything. His thoughts aren’t as easily decipherable as everyone else's, but I can kind of pick out his emotions.’ Emilie frowned. ‘He’s mostly confused, by the way, and a little hungry.’

“I could’ve told you that!” I whined.

May raised her hands and slowly got closer to him.

“Hey there, Trapinch. Do you... know who I am?” May asked.

Trapinch tilted his head. I couldn’t tell if Trapinch was confused, or if that was his default expression.

The answer was probably both.

Suzaku hesitantly poked her head out and gave the Trapinch a curious look.

“Right, well, I’m May, and I uh... caught you yesterday. I’m hoping we can be friends?”

Trapinch hadn’t moved from his spot.

“Here, I’ve got something for you.” May quickly pulled out a box that looked oddly-

“Hey, those were mine!” I shouted.

“Put it on my tab,” May said, grinning cheekily at me.

May opened the box and set it down in front of Trapinch. He put his head down and sniffed.

“PINCH!” He then mercilessly attacked the box of Oran Scones before running up to May and nuzzling her left leg.

“Wow, that was easy! I knew there was a reason I kept you around.” May knelt and gave Trapinch a pat. “I think I’ll call you Samie.”

Suzaku huffed.

‘She’s mad that Samie got a name right away,’ Emilie explained.

I ignored them all as I glowered at the scene in front of me.

“How is it that out of all of us, I’m the only one that hasn’t gotten to enjoy my own cooking.” I stared at my ravaged box blankly before turning to Emilie. “Has the new mooch said anything yet?” I asked.

‘Just emotions. I don’t think he’s spent a lot of time around... anyone. Human or Pokémon. I think he’ll get better the longer he spends with us, but for now...’ Emilie shook her head. ‘Head empty, captain.’

“Oh, don’t you start that too,” May said, looking up from her phone. “Still, bummer. Sergei, you can go ahead and change the name in the chat room, but Samie’s probably not going to use it for a while,”

Sergei beeped twice in what I’m assuming is confirmation.

‘I wouldn’t count on it holding a decent conversation any time soon, cap. It’s not just this little guy. Trapinch are about as slow in the head as Slakoth are in body,’ Apollo said.

“How the hell does the stereotypical sea bird know anything about a Pokémon that lives underground?” I asked.

Apollo preened, puffing up his chest as his beak pulled back.

‘I'm always down for an adventure, lass. Me and a few of me mates decided to explore the Unending Beach once upon a time. Terrible place, wouldn’t recommend it, met these things out there by the dozen, and they all were shit for conversation. One of them tried to eat me.’ Apollo shuddered. ‘Don’t envy what happened to that one. Six water guns on a single ground type.’ Another shudder.

“Right, well, he’s still May’s, so be nice,” I ordered.

May shot me an appreciative smile as Apollo nodded grudgingly.

‘Aye, Captain. I’ll hold my beak,’ he said.

“You three done with your little private conversation now?” May glowered.

I turned to look at both Emilie and Apollo, who just shrugged.

“I think so,” I responded cheekily. “You have Sergei, you can join in if you want.”

“I...” May trailed off as Sergei floated right at eye level. She quickly scanned through the messages.

“How much of that story was Tauros shit, Apollo?” May asked.

Apollo leaned back before giving my best friend a glare. I opened my mouth before he got the chance to start an argument.

“You ready to head out? I want to find a Lotad before we hit Petalburg, though...” I turned to look at Apollo. “We might be able to skip a step and just catch a Lombre now that Apollo’s joined,” I said thoughtfully.

“Denied,” May said.

“Huh?”

“Denied. Even with a type advantage, a Lombre would be above our weight class, and I don’t want to deal with an angry second stage Pokémon plus whatever friends he might call on to help. I’m taking my new role VERY seriously,” May said, staring at me intently.

I winced.

“Right, no Lombre.” Bummer. “Thank you, by the way,” I said.

“Don’t mention it.” May said before walking toward the western gate.

“Apollo, go ahead and take to the skies. Keep a look out for a Lotad with some extra... pep in his step,” I ordered.

Apollo raised his wing in salute.

‘Aye, captain. Leave it to me.’ He took off.

“Emilie let’s try working on what we did with Apollo. Use the Confusion on the rocks and lash out with it if he gets too close,” I ordered.

A ring of stones started to rotate around Emilie as she stared down her second Zigzagoon of the day.

“Power through, Lucky.” The big difference this time though, was that this one had a trainer. My first trainer battle, I was so excited!

Lucky charged headfirst toward Emilie. Easy pickings.

“Sling three stones and teleport if it gets too close.” I... could have just thought that.

“Quick attack, don’t let it teleport away,” my opponent ordered.

Despite the name, the quick attack hit the air where Emilie used to be, and all the extra speed did was make the rocks hit with that much more force.

“Goon!” Lucky cried out in pain. A small gash started to seep a bit of blood out above his right eye.

‘Where-’

‘In the tree on your left.’ I felt a pull towards a branch high up in one of the nearby trees. ‘I thought I’d hide in his new blind spot. Hard to see through blood, after all.’

The idea felt a bit morbid, but I liked the strategy.

“Where the hell did she go?” My opponent asked.

“She’s around,” I said. ‘Use confusion on the stones and attack from a distance. No reason to get in close.’ Non-verbal commands would also be something I needed to get used to more.

Emilie crouched down behind the leaves as the trainer looked her way and proceeded to lift a few small stones on Lucky’s right.

“Lucky, Quick Attack to the left, then slam into the tree on your right.” Dammit, we were spotted. The trainer’s command came too late, and Lucky was pelted before he could move. Several more stones levitated into the air as Lucky mewled in pain.

“Damnit, I hate Ralts trainers. Lucky, just keep dodging, and see if you can find an opening.” Rude.

The Zigzagoon quickly darted away from where he was standing with a Quick Attack. Honestly, I was impressed. This was the longest a Zigzagoon had lasted so far.

‘After a throw, focus on Lucky. You probably aren’t strong enough to move him, but you might be able to throw off his balance.’ I didn’t get a reply back, and for a moment, I was worried she didn’t hear me, but a smile stretched across my face as Lucky started accidentally tripping into rocks as opposed to away from them.

“Stop.” Three rather large stones stopped in midair all around Lucky. “I concede.” His voice just... sounded so done.

Was I that bad to fight against? Damn, that’s kind of a sour note to win on.

‘He’s just sad that he lost... again,’ Emilie commented. ‘He ran into another trainer with a Mudkip and... that didn’t go well either. The trainer with the Mudkip was rude as fuck, too.’

‘Huh, probably another of Birch’s sponsors. Well, let’s see if we can go cheer him up.’ I rushed across the clearing.

“Thanks for the battle.” I smiled as a familiar weight teleported to my shoulder. “Your Zigzagoon is a lot tougher than the local mons, I just don’t think there was a lot he could do without ranged options.” I had extended my hand to shake, and the other trainer looked a bit surprised.

“Er... Thanks.” He hesitated for a second before grabbing my hand. “Not really a ton of options for range currently.”

“Yeah, but good match. I look forward to seeing how you improve later. Maybe we could have a two on two.” The trainer blushed before pulling out his wallet and handing me my winnings. “Don’t suppose I could know your name?”

“Uh, it’s Calvin.” He spoke. His voice was a lot more confident, and he seemed happy. Good.

“Great! Mine’s Lea. Hope I see you again someday.” Calvin nodded before turning back towards Oldale. I walked over towards May with a smile on my face.

“You’re terrifying, you know that right?” May called as she walked over. “Congratulations on your win.”

“What do you mean I'm terrifying? I was really nice!” I pouted.

May giggled.

“This is your third day as a Pokémon trainer, and you’re already developing advanced tactics with Emilie. Do you have any idea how many psychic trainers shouted their moves to the heavens in dad’s gym?” May asked.

“Surely-”

“The answer is most of them.” May shut me down. “There are four badge trainers struggling to work out what you’ve pieced together in three days, and hiding in a tree to snipe a close quarters fighter was mean.”

I quickly felt blood rush to my face.

“Uh, that was Emilie’s idea. I lost sight of her for a second, which is something we’ll probably need to work on.” I turned to Emilie. “When you Teleport, kind of shoot me a signal to let me know where you are, okay?” I asked.

Emilie nodded.

“You won, and it wasn’t close, and you’re still picking apart what you did wrong and finding ways to improve. You’re going to be a monster in record time.” My blush got worse. “Seriously, I have the excuse of being the daughter of a gym leader, how are you already this good at battling?” May asked.

“I’m probably getting a lot of mileage out of Emilie just... looking at my ideas as I have them. There’s no guesswork and we can just... go. Psychic attacks are also absurdly flexible. So, combine the fast as thought communication link, Emilie being more advanced than the average Ralts, and my overactive imagination that’s binged anime and my dad’s conference videos enough to make Eve threaten to blow up the TV, and you get... well, that.” I waved my hand out toward the clearing.

“Broken.” May nodded. “When we get to Rustboro, we’re hitting the battle yards and picking on all the other newbie trainers.”

“May, that sounds mean.” I didn’t want to bully people.

“Don’t care. We need income, and I intend to rake in the dough while we’re ahead of everyone else.” May said.

“Really, bakery puns May?”

“That was unintentional. Also, I call dibs on the next trainer.”

“Nothing doing, huh?” I frowned as Apollo shook his head.

‘None that would fit what you’re looking for. I assume you want a Lotad that doesn’t just stare blankly into the void as they float atop a pond, right?’ Apollo asked.

“Right.”

‘Then nothing doing, Captain,’ Apollo confirmed.

I sighed.

“Good work all the same.”

“Not interested in a ‘head empty Mon’?” May looked up from Sergei to give me a bit of a glare. “Emilie, your commentary was very rude.” Emilie ignored May and continued to nibble on the cookie I had given her. Suzaku walked toward her and pecked at the cookie, causing it to crumble in Emilie’s hand.

‘YOU WANNA GO, FEATHER HEAD!’ Emilie screamed.

‘Stop ignoring us. May likes you for some reason, so talk to her when she talks to you.’ Suzaku puffed up her chest, and Emilie groaned.

‘Fine... sorry, May,’ Emilie said.

May nodded after a quick glance at Sergei.

“Has he been cataloguing EVERYTHING we’ve said?” I asked.

May shook her head no.

“Just the highlight reels that Emilie sends his way, so I don’t feel left out. She’s more considerate about that than you are.” May said. She highlighted her point with a glare.

“It’s easier for her to send crap to Sergei than it is for me to translate, and Lotad doesn’t evolve into a fucking dragon, so I kind of want to skip the derpy phase if I can help it.” May raised her hands.

“Meh, I think you’re just picky.”

“Between Emilie and Apollo, I think I have the resources to be a bit picky.” I sighed. “That said, they might be looking for something that doesn’t exist. Lotad usually only become a bit more... active, once they evolve. Guess I have to stop being lazy, huh?” I turned to Apollo. “Just go ahead and take us to the group you found.”

‘Aye, Captain.’

“Wow, you were not joking about the thousand-yard stare.” I commented.

Before me floated four Lotad, all of whom hadn’t reacted in the slightest to us entering their habitat. I looked toward Emilie.

‘Anything going on upstairs?’ I asked.

‘They’re hoping we leave without causing a scene. They have a lot more going on up top than Samie, so I don’t think you have to worry about that.’ I stared down at the Lotad as they very slowly raised more of their body out of the pond.

“You sure about that?” I asked.

“Lotad use their leaf as camouflage to protect themselves from predators. They’re probably committed to maintaining the illusion.” May said. I pondered that for a second.

“Alright, look, the jig is up. We know you’re Lotad. You know that we know that you’re Lotad. I just wanted to know if any of you wanted to hang out for an extended period of time. See the world beyond your pond, make new friends, have a steady source of food you don’t have to fight for, that kind of stuff.” Nothing. Not a damn sound. I sighed again.

‘They think you’re a little slow in the head.’ Emilie said with a chuckle.

“Really, I’m the slow one!” I shouted.

Three of the Lotad’s rose a bit higher and fired a moderately weak water gun at my face. Emilie raised her hand, and the water was diverted to the left of us. Fuck these things.

“Emilie, spin cycle,” I said.

Emilie looked in my head in confusion before frowning.

‘I don’t know if I can move that much water. I like the idea though. Maybe...’ A large bubble formed in the middle of the Lotad before exploding, making a current that pushed them outward. ‘Huh, that was... easier than I was expecting it to be. Maybe I could have done the spin cycle.’

‘I kind of figured Water would be harder to control than rocks, not easier,’ I said.

Emilie shrugged.

‘It’s malleable. I can push it around a lot easier. Maybe your idea will be easier to put into practice than I thought,’ Emilie said.

I smiled.

‘Good, we’ll need everything we’ve got for Roxanne. Gym leaders are no jo-’

“TAD! Lotad, tad Lotad.” Translation?

‘He thinks we overreacted to his friends’ prank. He also wants a battle for revenge,’ Emilie explained.

“I’d be more than willing to accommodate him, and the only reason it might be an overreaction is the ‘prank’ fucking whiffed,” I said before looking around the pond. “Also, for being your friends, they sure were quick to hightail it out of here and leave you high and dry.”

Lotad halted its glare and looked around the pond.

“Tad?” No response. “TAD!”

‘Yeah, he’s not happy about that,’ Emilie commented.

‘Sometimes your empathy is really helpful, but times like this, I feel like you’re mocking my intelligence by stating the obvious,’ I said.

Emilie didn’t respond.

‘This is the part where you reassure me that’s not the case!’

Still no response.

“TAD!” The Lotad, now refocused on me, rose in challenge.

“So, we’re really doing this, huh? Don’t think I didn’t notice earlier when you said your friends' prank and not our prank. You're the Lotad that didn’t fire.” No response. “I like your moxie, and I'm going to be straight with you. I think you can do WAY better than those losers. If I win our little tussle, I'm liable to throw a poke ball at ya if I win.” I smiled. “You okay with that?” I asked.

More silence, but there was movement. A single nod that brought a smile to my face. Score.

“Apollo, get down here. I think it’s time for your first Pokémon battle,” I shouted.

Apollo dive bombed into the clearing. I smiled as the Lotad didn’t back away in fear at the new arrival.

‘Won’t let ya down, Captain.’ Apollo saluted, and Lotad took that as a signal to lash out with a half dozen small sharp leaves. ‘Oi, watch it,’ Apollo complained.

Apollo rapidly beat his wings to get out of the way. Lotad took this as his chance to dive.

“How good are you underwater?” I asked.

‘Better than most birds. You won’t be able to see to give me commands though,’ Apollo said.

“I trust you to be able to handle yourself. Dive after it and bring it to land,” I ordered.

Apollo sailed across the clearing and dove down. I held my breath for a second before another large water bubble blew up from below the surface. I looked towards Emilie.

‘Don’t look at me. That was all feather head,’ Emilie said.

I nodded before ten more leaves blasted out from the pond. I nervously bit my lip as two more explosions pushed water all over the place until eventually...

Splash.

“TAD!” I spotted my potential teammate get blasted out of the water with an impressive amount of force.

‘Yeah, well screw you and your Kyogre damned leaves.’

I spot Apollo fly out of the pond and winced at the state of his feathers.

“Don’t give it a chance to breathe. Get in close and Peck.” I kicked myself for not working on Aerial Ace before this. That would probably seal the deal right here.

As it was though, this should still hurt like a bitch. Apollo flew towards the dazed Lotad at full speed, and the crack that I heard on impact made me wince in sympathy for the poor little Lotad. I gaped a bit when I saw it struggle back to his feet.

“Lo.” Lotad panted before rearing his head back. He rotated his head and a small seed launched from his lily pad toward Apollo.

‘Really?’ Apollo casually flew over it. ‘I know this looks desperate, but did you really think you could tag me with a Leech Seed of all-Ack.’

I stared confused as vines erupted from a seed that had planted itself into Apollo’s back.

‘I dodged that!’

“Tad!” Lotad said smugly.

I frowned once I realized what had happened. He ricocheted the seed off the tree behind Apollo. The more I watched this Lotad, the more excited I got at the prospect of him being mine.

“We need to wrap this up fast, Apollo. I know you’ll be exhausted after this but Aerial Ace, don’t hold back.” As soon as the words left my mouth, Apollo disappeared and the air around him crackled. Lotad had a split second to look around before my waterfowl slammed into him at full force.

“Taad.” Lotad wheezed and skid a solid ten feet across the ground. He desperately sucked in a few ragged breaths before falling forward, and I jumped at the chance to throw a Poke Ball before Leech seed gave him the strength to stand back up.

One shake.

Two shakes.

Annnnnd...

Click.

My smile probably looked creepy, and I didn’t care.

Said smile slipped off my face rather quickly, though, once I heard a soft thump to my left. Apollo passed out. Again. I sighed before recalling him.

“Nice work. Enjoy your nap.” I spoke into the ball before going over and picking up Lotad’s Poke Ball.

“That looked... way harder than I was expecting,” May commented. “Considering Apollo had a type advantage...”

“Yeah, I really need to work with Apollo more. Granted, half the reason he passed out was because of Aerial Ace. This Lotad really impressed me, that fight was hard.” I turned to smile at May. “Good call about me not hunting for a Lombre. I would’ve gotten my ass kicked.”

“That’s what I’m here for. At any rate, now that we’ve gotten that taken care of, let’s book it back home.”

“Right.”

“I think I see the gate,” I shouted, before picking up the pace. “Race ya.”

“Wait!” May whined before sprinting after me. “That’s cheating, you can’t just call for a race and give yourself a head start. Lea, my legs are tired, please slow down.”

May lagged a bit behind, and there were those pesky feelings of guilt again.

“Fine, I’ll-”

“PSYCH. Eat my dust you gullible loser.” And May pushed past in a blistering sprint.

“I...” I sighed. “Ya know what? Fair.” I jogged for a moment before giving up. She can have the win; I don’t feel like running.

‘Giving up that easily?’ Emilie asked.

‘I have added weight I have to deal with,’ I pointed out.

Emilie glared at me.

“...not what I was expecting.” An unfamiliar voice put me on edge, and I rushed forward to see what I assumed was a trainer blocking the gate.

“Excuse me?” Uh-oh, May sounded angry. I needed to defuse this before things escalated. I put myself in between them and stuck my hand out.

“Hi, there. I’m Lea, what’s your name,” I said.

He moved around me and stared at May again.

“I said that you aren’t what I was expecting.” Did he ignore me? This ass hat just ignored me, didn’t he?

‘He did.’ Emilie nodded from my shoulder. The nerve of this man.

“I would have thought that the daughter of a gym leader and one of my fellow sponsors would be a bit more impressive, but you're kind of just... a girl.”

May moved to walk around him, but Ass Hat moved to get in her way. I could see May’s fist start to shake, and before I could say anything.

“Fucking move, you dipshit!” May shoved her fist into Ass Hat’s jaw, and he went flying across the clearing. May brushed her knuckles a bit before glaring down at Ass Hat.

“Look, I just spent all day exploring Route 103 with my best friend. I’m tired, my feet are sore, and I haven’t eaten real food since this morning. Please put whatever dramatic shounen rival bullshit your brain is peddling on the back burner and stay the FUCK DOWN.” May shouted before marching through the gate.

I stared at the scene in awe.

‘That was glorious...’ Emilie said.

I nodded before looking at the kid that was slowly pulling himself up from the ground.

“Well, that didn’t go according to plan.” He rubbed his jaw as he looked towards where May had walked. I turned towards Emilie, who nodded.

He DID say that he was one of Birch’s trainers, after all.

“Oi, Ass Hat.” He finally looked my way, and I had to bite back a laugh at how terrified he was right now. That punch must have really shaken him. His fear slowly shifted to rage once he recognized the insult.

“My name is Brendan. Brendan Birch.” Oh, good. Not only is he an ass hat, but he’s an ass hat with a fancy last name. I think I like Ass Hat better. “Look, I don’t have time to square off against your pack of Zigzagoon, so buzz off.” My eyes widened in realization. This was the prick that bullied Calvin!

“Nah, I think Emilie and I would have more fun giving you an attitude adjustment. I’ll even throw in the witty shounen trash talk that May shut you down on,” I said.

Emilie teleported down and lifted her arm towards Ass Hat in challenge.

“Let’s see, if I’m getting my tropes right, this would be the part where I tell you you’ll never win, and the power of friendship will see me through the day and blah blah-blah blah blah-blah-blah. There, gotten your fix? Can I move on to kicking your Pokémon's ass?” I think I saw a blood vessel twitch above his right eye. Ass hat pulled out a poke ball.

“Background characters really should know their place.” Oh good! He was leaning into the bit.

“Kip.” Mudkip stared up at me, tilted its head, and smiled.

I tried.

I tried really hard.

“Legends above, you are so adorable!” I just couldn’t. “You are the most adorable creature on the face of the earth.” I rushed forward and snatched what was easily a gift to the rest of humanity into a hug.

“What the- Oi, put her down.” Ignoring you right now.

“Kip!”

“You are so precious, how can something so adorable belong to someone so rude? How can he be grumpy when he has a precious little guy like you around? Who’s an adorable little water type? You are, yes you are.”

‘Lea... please... we were so cool... and now we’re not...’ Emilie whined in my head.

“Mud.” A single shot of water blasted my face. “Kip.” I hacked and sputtered a few times as Mudkip jumped out of my grip.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Ass hat screamed.

‘So many things.’ Emilie said. Rude. What were we doing? ‘Ass hat.’

‘I have higher standards than that, Emilie.’

‘For fucks sake, get your head in the game. We have a Pokémon battle to win,’ Emilie complained.

I blushed before staring back towards...

“Who are you again?” I asked.

“That’s it, I'm done. Mudkip, water gun. I don’t care what you aim at, please make her stop talking.” Thankfully, the Mudkip took that as the go ahead to attack Emilie and not me.

‘Emilie, Disengage,’ I ordered.

Emilie teleported and my mind dragged my attention to the top of the gate.

‘Thanks for the heads up, sweetie. Go ahead and start target practice.’ Four stones rose up from the ground and rapidly made their way towards Mudkip. I quickly made my way further back down the path to stay out of the way.

“Mudkip, dodge and keep an eye out. Blast her with a water gun the second you see where she went,” Ass Hat ordered.

Mudkip nodded, took a single stone to the face, and avoided the other three.

‘I have an idea. How well do you think you can stop Mudkip’s attack if it fires at you from range?’ I asked.

Emilie thought for a bit and smiled as she peeped into my head.

‘That’s mean. I approve.’

Emilie pulled three rocks towards herself and ricocheted them out towards Mudkip. Mudkip jumped over two rocks and skidded to avoid the third. Damn, this Mudkip was fast. I smiled as Mudkip followed the latter half of Ass Hat’s older orders. The water gun came out fast, and the pressure was a bit more than I was expecting, but thankfully...

“Ack, Mudkip. Stop.” She didn’t have to divert it by that much.

“Aw, we match. Now we’re both drenched.”

He sputtered a few more times before glaring at me.

“What the hell is with you?! You haven’t given a single order. Do you just let you mon do all the work for you?” Ass Hat asked.

“Oh, I’ve given plenty of orders.” I smirked. ‘Emilie, would it be possible to make my eyes look like they’re glowing?’ I asked.

‘Should be easy enough. You might get a small headache, though. A very mild confusion should give the effect you’re looking for. Intimidation?’ Emilie asked.

‘Intimidation,’ I confirmed.

Ass Hat reeled back.

“Wh- What the hell?” Ass Hat sputtered.

I’m sure the evil smile wasn’t doing anything but sell the look.

“You just can’t hear them,” I said malevolently.

“Mudkip, get in close.” No, I don’t think you... holy shit that’s fast. “Tackle.”

‘Teleport.’ And safe. My mind pulled my field of view to the left. ‘Think you can do a trial run of the gym here?’ Emilie stopped and focused.

‘I... think it’s doable, but he’ll probably need to-’

“Water gun, full power.” Ass Hat ordered. A massive cascade got launched from Mudkip’s mouth, and I idly wondered if my best friend got conned. Suzaku’s Ember was nowhere near this impressive.

‘Do that.’ Emilie finished her earlier thought.

‘Dodge to the left and try and catch the water in the air as it passes. Make it your own.’

And just as I drew it up, things just started to click. The water sailed harmlessly past Emilie before snapping around. Brendan’s eyes widened as he saw it get slung around by Emilie’s confusion.

“Dodge!” There’s nothing to dodge yet, moron. Instead of sending it back, Emilie started molding the water. A see-through liquid vest appeared around Emilie, acting as a shield before Emilie thrust both of her arms out.

Two tentacle appendages shot out of the dome. The armor wasn’t... pretty, but it was functional.

“What the...” Apparently, Brendan didn’t know what to make of Emilie’s battle armor either.

‘Now then, Emilie, make your namesake proud.’

‘Oui, mon cherie.’ Emilie charged forward, carrying the water with her as she went, and raised one of the fists above her head.

“Mudkip, Water gun, rapid fire. Break that... thing, down.” Ass Hat ordered.

Mudkip frantically shot as many streams as it could, but unfortunately for him, the armor slowed the streams down enough so that Emilie could pull the extra water into the shell. The overhead fist got bigger, and the whole beast towered over Mudkip as Emilie got closer.

‘Whoa, that’s a head rush. This is... little hard to control...’

‘Emilie, you alright?’ I asked, worry creeping into my mind for the first time in the fight.

“Get out of there!” Whatever difficulties Emilie was having didn’t translate too much into the attack, at least. The Mudkip darted to the left, but it didn’t matter. The water swept across the ground in a wide, sweeping arc and slammed into the Mudkip with an audible crack. The fist exploded on contact and the poor little Pokémon was sent hurtling towards the tree line. The bark of the tree cracked on impact, and Mudkip slowly skidded down the trunk.

‘Sorry, I had to... really focus... also I'm tired. Please tell me it’s down,’ Emilie said.

Staring across the field, I smirked. Mudkip was out of it, both eyes shut. Ass hat sighed and raised his poke ball.

“Mudkip, return.”

‘Alright, we won.’ Emilie knelt and put a hand on her knee to support herself. ‘Woooo.’ She fell backwards in exhaustion.

“How long have you been a trainer?” Ass hat asked. He didn’t even offer a handshake, legends above this prick was rude.

“Three days.”

“Tauros shit!” I reared back at the amount of anger he threw my way. “There’s no way in hell you’re doing stuff like that after three days on the road. If you think I'm going to cough up any of my money to this little hustle you’ve got going on, you’re out of-”

“Is everything alright here?”

I turned towards the town gate and noticed Norman giving Ass Hat the look of a disappointed parent. I looked around and noticed that May was nowhere to be seen, and I frowned. Guess I took a little longer than I thought.

“He lost, and now he’s being a sore loser,” I said.

Ass hat turned to yell at me, but Norman cut him off.

“I heard the latter half of your tantrum from the road. I took Lea out to get her starter three days ago, so unless you think the gym leader of Petalburg city is out to scam you out of your pocket change, pay the girl her winnings, and move on. I believe the going rate at this level is the price of a poke ball.” Ass hat aggressively grabbed a few notes from his pocket, threw them at me, and stalked off into the city.

‘His name is Brendan,’ Emilie said tiredly.

‘I know, I just don’t think I can bring myself to care.’

Emilie chuckled before lifting her arms up.

‘I wasn’t kidding earlier, either return me or carry me. I’m spent,’ Emilie said.

I walked over and picked her up.

“Everything alright? May said she stalked off from someone at the gate and kind of left you behind. Sorry about that, by the way,” Norman said. I waved him off.

“Don’t be, I challenged him. Guy was a dick and I wanted to teach him a lesson.” I frowned as I looked down the road toward my house. “Should I head back with you or just go home?”

“I think I'd recommend hitting up a Pokémon center, first,” Norman said.

I winced. Yeah, that was probably wise.

“I think we can talk tomorrow.” Norman gave me a look.

Now I was getting the disappointed dad stare. What’d I do?

“And there will be a talk. Specifically, about hanging around an area with dangerous looking men when you’ve been on the road for two days,” Norman said.

I winced. Ah. That’s what I did. Got it.

“Right... guess I'll hang out with Sis, then. Think you could walk me to the center? All three of my teammates are spent.”

Now Norman looked me over with interest.

“Three Pokémon already? I hope you know I can’t take in any extras. Once you hit six, you’re done till you have your carry license.” Norman said. I nodded.

“I know, I know. I only planned on one, but Emilie more or less demanded that I catch Apollo, that’s my Wingull. He fought Lotad to an almost draw and I captured him about...” I looked up at the sun as we walked along the sidewalk, already missing Sergei. “I want to say four hours ago. May got to fight most of the mons that attacked us along the route. I’m sure Suzaku and Samie had a blast.”

“You managed to get May to name her Pokémon.” Norman laughed. “I’m going to assume Suzaku is Torchic, but who’s Samie?”

“That would be telling.” I turned the corner and spotted the center. “She can tell you all about it herself. I’m not going to take that from her,” I said, smiling at the gym leader.

I stopped in front of the center doors and turned to face Norman.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Tell May that I finished what she started for her. Ass Hat had it coming.”

“How has the road made your language this bad. You’ve been gone for three days. You’re lucky I’m the cool parent, Caroline would be reading you the riot act right now.”

Oh, right. Cursing in front of Norman probably wasn’t a good idea. Why... right. My ability to feel fear is turned off. Moma Caroline literally can’t terrify me as much as she probably should.

‘If I try to curse tomorrow, stop me. I’m being less careful than I should be. I really don’t want the soap treatment again,’ I said.

Emilie nodded.

“I’ll pass the message along, thanks for sticking up for her, I guess.” Norman waved as he left.

Trust me, Norman. She did not need stuck up for. I did that for funsies.

“I'll see you tomorrow.” He walked off. I turned around and went through the double doors.

“Hello, welcome. Would you like a room for the night?” Nurse Joy asked.

I thought about it for a long bit, before shaking my head. I didn’t know if Eve would even be home right now, but I wanted to check in and show off the team. I could let myself in if I had to.

“Nah, just need to fix up the team.” I returned Emilie and placed all three balls on the counter. “I’ve got a place to stay.”