Chapter VIII – One Night
"Alright Loulou," the Prince said with a smile as he threw her discarded dress off to the side. "One night. Make it count."
And then she woke up.
Lou inhaled sharply, her eyes opening wide. She stayed still, waiting for her eyes adjusting to the morning light and for her mind to adjust to the transition from dream to reality. She winced from the embarrassment. She thought she was finally free of those dreams.
Wait. Had that actually happened?
It was awfully dark, but her gut told her it was morning. Usually, light would be filtering in through the window at the top of the far wall by this point. She reflexively reached for her glasses, but there was something in the way; her fingers brushed up against dangling fabric, displacing it just enough for a sliver of light to filter into the closed canopy. She wasn't in her bed. She was in his.
Gods above and below, it had actually happened.
She buried her head ever so slightly more under the covers, careful not to wake the Prince sleeping on his back next to her. They were heart-stoppingly close: his arm around her shoulder, hers over his midsection. He was still asleep despite her fumbling about for her glasses. Who knows where they were at this point; she could search for them later. It's not like there was anyone else around at the moment who might recognize her without them.
As she watched the Prince's chest rising and falling with each breath, it occurred to Lou that she had never seen this particular part of her old body from this angle, or this proximity.
She had also seen many other parts of her former body up close, she remembered as more memories of the previous night flooded back in. She felt her face begin to burn. The Prince would never let her live it down. Not in a hundred years. Although... wasn't it the same for him, now that she thought about it? They were on equal footing: both of them had exchanged bodies.
Both of them had also exchanged many other things and oh gods she needed to think about something else already. She every so gently lifted her head, looking at the Prince's face as he slept. Her old face. Well, minus the beard.
Lou had never been one to show emotion, but the Prince was different—his charisma lit up the room. His smile, she had learned, was never too far away, whether it was genuine or not. That part of him hadn't changed, always hiding something up his sleeve, planning multiple moves in advance. It was a part of him she'd always found comforting during their years together: she would focus on the present, and trust the future to him. Now, though, she had to trust him with more. Trust him with the body that, up until that point, she had used to keep him safe.
Although he certainly knew how to use it—augh! Enough!
To be fair, though, how could she avoid thinking about it? When she started her life over again in the castle all those months ago, she had been content with keeping her distance from him. She'd made her peace with it. And now, in just a few hours, she had gotten closer to him than she had gotten to anyone, ever, in her entire life.
And it had been her decision, because this was her body now. She chuckled quietly to herself. She hadn't hesitated, or even waited! Just dove headfirst into it, as soon as the opportunity had presented itself. Why waste time thinking about it when you could act, right? Her former body was just that: former. Regardless of how familiar it had been to her, it was the Prince's now, through and through.
And it was lovely.
It was a strange feeling, seeing for the first time the beauty of something you had only ever thought of as a tool. Lou had never hated her body, but she had never particularly liked it, either. She wore it like armor, wielded it like a sword. It was a thing that served a purpose. But the Prince had brought it to life; made it his. Now that her body was inhabited by someone she loved, she could appreciate it from the outside.
She lifted her hand up in the air, watching as it caught the lone sunbeam slipping into the canopy that enclosed the bed. Maybe it was the same from his perspective. Maybe he, too, had begun to care for the body Lou now called her own; his priceless gift to her. Deep down, part of her hurt at the thought that he had spent so many years unable to see the beauty in his skin; that for so long, he had been cruelly prevented from loving something so precious.
Her heart ached at the cosmic injustice of it. She would wrest from the heavens any god that allowed this to happen.
The Prince's hand met her own, in the sunlight, intertwining his fingers with hers. "Morning," he said, with a smile that quickly faded as he got a good look at her. "Loulou, are you alright?"
Lou suddenly realized she had been tearing up. "Oh, good morning," she said, wiping her eyes. "I'm okay. I was just thinking. I s'pose I got myself all worked up."
The Prince raised an eyebrow. "Again? You really are insatiable."
He had said that just to fluster her. She knew that's why he had said that. And it was working. She mumbled an answer and buried her face under the covers. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction.
"What's that?" the Prince asked, lifting the cover enough to peek at her, a self-satisfied grin on his face. "Why are you hiding?"
"I don't wanna give you the satisfaction."
His grin grew wider. "Well it's a little late for that."
In her surprise, Lou almost hit him. But her fist stopped just short of actually making contact with his chest, as if halted by something.
She hid her face in her hands, feeling the heat on her cheeks. Her mind was spinning in circles, unable to focus. She was with him. She was with him, close enough to feel his breath on her skin. She could feel his full attention on her. She thought she had given this up; she had resigned herself to a life without it. And yet here it was. Along with a completely unexpected torrent of merciless teasing.
The Prince gently parted her hands, giving her a long, appreciative look. He cupped her cheek, his grin shifting into a kinder, softer smile. "To think this is who was hiding inside my captain of the guard all this time. My sheep in wolf's clothing."
She stared back into his eyes. She had survived those long months of hard work in the castle by closing off parts of herself. Willingly fading into the background, to more easily be overlooked. Now she felt like someone at the crossroads, an intersection of very different selves. The Lou she saw in her mind was soft, heartfelt, sensitive. Had that person always been there, even when she was a giant? When she was in the skin of the person before her?
"Is it strange?" Lou asked, bringing the covers back up over them both to claim back some of her warmth. "Being... close to yourself like this. Your former self, I mean."
"Not that strange," the Prince said matter-of-factly. "I got used to other people looking like me fairly quickly, it comes with the position. But you don't need to worry about that, alright?" He put his hand over her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "This is your body now, Loulou. I don't see it as anyone else's, that's the deal. Even if I do know it very well."
Lou turned her head away from his. "You... you really do," she said, feeling her face becoming red again. The Prince had redefined so much of what she thought she knew about intimacy. She wanted to abandon herself to this feeling completely, but some old barriers were still there. There was a fragile bliss in being with someone who knew your needs better than you did; the longer they got it right, the harder it would be to convince them when they got it wrong.
"Well I'm very glad you had a good time," the Prince said, his smile evident in his voice. "It certainly sounded like it."
"Mm," she replied, her heart beginning to race again. This conversation had sunk its claws into her and wasn't letting go. She knew she shouldn't feel embarrassed, but she couldn't help it!
"The mouth on you, too!" he added, laughing in spite of himself. "I was not expecting that kind of colorful language coming from you."
"Wh... what??" Lou blurted out, propping herself up on her arms. "No."
"Yes."
"No??" she said, wracking her brain as she tried to see through the haze that had fogged up some of the previous night's activities. "I try 'specially hard not to swear in your presence! It's unknightly."
"Which is why I wasn't expecting it," the Prince said as he squeezed her shoulder again. "Don't worry, I found it quite charming. Well. Maybe charming isn't the right word, but you get the idea."
Lou's face was burning hotter than the sun as she stared down through the floor, trying to make sense of this. No, she was absolutely adamant about watching her language in front of the Prince and his guests. It had required a considerable amount of work on her part; her mother cursed, her father cursed, everyone in her hometown cursed. Moving to the city had taken some adjustment. In fact, the only time she ever really let herself cut loose was when—
"Oh no my endurance training," she said, looking back up in realization. She must have zoned out at some point last night. Fallen into old habits. It made sudden, horrifying sense.
The Prince met her gaze. "Training, what train—oh! That greatwood log near the northern wall you'd go to town on with an axe every couple days?" He leaned in, absolutely overjoyed. "Is that why you insisted I never come near you when you were there?"
Somewhere, deep inside, a part of Lou burst into flames from sheer embarrassment. Whittling down that giant chunk of an ancient tree over the years had been her way to both build physical stamina and let all those feelings out. She'd always come back physically and mentally exhausted, but that was the point. Plus, with her back to the wall, she could spot anyone coming a mile away. It was the best way she'd found to keep her demons at bay. A well-kept secret, just between her and one physically (and verbally) thrashed log. Until now.
"Loulou I'm learning so much about you," the Prince said, resting his cheek on the fingers of one hand.
"It's so shameful!" she squealed, lying down flat as she pondered whether to plead forgiveness.
But the Prince just ruffled her hair. "It's so endearing! And strangely touching. You cared that much about my delicate little ears? All those years?"
"It's part of being a knight," Lou said, trying salvage the tattered remnants of her pride. "Your needs come first. I can't have you worry about me, or get distracted or uncomfortable, any of that stuff. That means no swearing, no bad manners, no crying..."
The Prince scratched his chin. "Wait, no crying? I could've sworn I've seen you cry before."
"No! I was really careful about that." She grumbled self-consciously. "You know... before this happened. I was better at controlling it. Matter of fact, the only tears I couldn't keep in check were when you insisted on making me taste your curry."
"Oh yes, I remember now! You had such little spice tolerance." The Prince laughed. "I guess I'm paying for it now. You wouldn't believe the ordeal it's been to work my way back up to my old favorites. Cleaver wouldn't believe it was me for the longest time because of it! What a stubborn old man. Best curry in the capital, though."
"Everyone just... adapted to it, yeah?" Lou asked, suddenly serious. "They didn't give you trouble?"
He patted her on the head. "Easy, easy. They were pretty quick to accept it. But then again they didn't have much of a choice; I am the one in charge. Thankfully, we were able to move fast after the Witch-Fiend struck, thanks to some quick thinking on my part. Those first few minutes made a big difference: once we had the crowd on our side, the rest was simple."
"Oh, I had a question about that," Lou said, propping herself up on her elbows.
"Is that so? Here, get comfy," the Prince said as he guided her up onto his chest. "Ask away."
"I s'pose it all worked out in the end, but... what happened to me, in the middle of that? I remember the attack, but next thing I knew it was dark out. There's a big chunk missing. What was I doing all that time?"
"Oh, that," the Prince said, taking on a more serious air all of a sudden. "Loulou, you..." he began to say, then trailed off. He looked to the side, weighing his words. "When I first saw you, right after the attack, you were on the ground. You weren't moving."
She looked at him, taking this in. Then her gaze drifted down as she pondered the ramifications. "Does that mean you thought I was...?"
The Prince put a hand to her cheek. "Your heart was beating. You were breathing. But you just wouldn't wake up." He brought his hand up to her forehead, ran it through her hair; let it linger there, for a moment. "I was still getting used to your body. Still getting out of the... mess... it had been standing in. It was chaos, I had to bring it all under control. So when I turned around to see my old self lying there limply, I thought..." He trailed off.
"Oh," Lou said quietly. "I just figured, you know. The whole 'fused into one person' thing was another one of your stories."
He exhaled stiffly. "No. Not this time. I told everyone—the crowd, the diplomats, the hangers-on—the actual truth. What I thought to be the truth, at least. And it was frustratingly easy to get those other dignitaries to believe me! Years of having to drag them kicking and screaming, and now they were practically eating out of my hand. So much so that I couldn't get away from them, so I trusted Frederic to handle the rest."
"Oh, right, Frederic. Makes sense." A serious look came over Lou's face. "He assumed command, right? He secured the perimeter? The lieutenants, did they fall in line?"
The Prince let out a laugh. "Of course you'd ask that!" He patted her on the head with a sympathetic smile on his face. "Yes, Frederic followed protocol to the letter. He was admirable. He had everything cordoned off and everyone was safe, you don't have to worry about it."
Lou sighed with relief. Not that she'd doubted her second in command's expertise, but... she knew how fragile plans could be. You never truly knew someone until they were tested.
"He stayed there with you the whole time, you know. Well into the night, just in case. When I heard that you finally woke up, when I learned what had actually happened, I was relieved, but... it was too late to do anything about it. The word was out."
Lou nodded absently.
"And then you know the rest. I sent Frederic back with the letter, and—gods, Loulou eight months? I thought you were off living it up. If I'd have known you were here the whole time, I'd have... How did I not see you?"
"There's a lot you don't see when you're not looking for it. That was my job."
"Frederic's job, now. And he just let you go through all that? After I gave him specific instructions?"
Lou's face scrunched up as she reflected on the last few months; on that long, difficult conversation in the gatehouse. She mumbled something in response.
"What's that?"
"He was doing his job," she enunciated, almost in spite of herself. She hated to admit it. She hated even more that, had their situations been reversed, she probably would've done the same thing. She remembered how sad he'd become when she fell to pieces in front of him. "He was doing what you asked him to. And I... I acted in an unbecoming way... to make him reconsider."
There came a muffled choking noise from the other side of the room, somewhere near the door. The Prince turned his head for a second, puzzled, before returning his attention to Lou as he caught up with what she'd just said. "Wait, Loulou, you did what?" He looked her up and down, a look of concern growing on his face. "With Frederic?"
Lou's mouth hung open at the implication. "Wh-what? NO! I would... I told you, I would never! I just... I begged. I pleaded." Her voice grew quieter. "I used his word against him."
"Oh," he said with a sigh of relief. He gently pushed aside a stray lock of hair from her face. "That's
unbecoming?""It is for a knight!"
"Well, I'm not quite sure that still app—ow," he said, interrupted mid-sentence by sunlight drifting into his eyes. "What time is it?" He pulled open the side curtain, flooding the canopy with light.
The enclosed bed's cozy spell was broken, bringing Lou back to reality. How late had it gotten? "Oh no!" She sat up. "I missed the morning rounds, I—"
"The merchant's guild meeting!" the Prince exclaimed, sitting up as well. "Oh, they do not like it when I make them wait. I need to tell Frederic to—"
"That meeting was canceled, Your Majesty."
Both of them froze, turning toward the door; toward the closed curtains at the front of the bed. The Prince reached over for a pull rope, drawing them open.
Frederic was standing just inside the (thankfully closed) door, reading a stack of letters. He glanced up at Lou and the Prince, his body remaining still like a statue. "Remember? I told you last night. We are in the process of rescheduling." His eyes returned to the papers in his hand as he leafed through the next few. "Morning."
"Frederic," the Prince said in a carefully measured tone, "how long have you been standing there?"
"Normal amount of time. Your Majesty." The knight looked at Lou, pausing for just long enough to make it undeniable that he was debating what honorific—if honor there was indeed—to call her. "M'lady," he finally half-said, half-grunted before returning to his letters.
Lou had shrunk back under the covers, but it wasn't enough. She wished she could bury under the bed itself, dig herself a hole to a place where she could escape Frederic's withering glare. He had only glanced at her for a second, but she could still feel his disapproval from across the room.
"Loulou come on, sit up, it's just Frederic," the Prince said, shifting his sitting position to let Lou sit next to him. She did as prompted, gingerly leaving the relative safety of the covers, trying to make herself a small as possible. The Prince put an arm around her shoulder, turning his attention to his new captain of the guard. "Something on your mind, Frederic? Out with it."
The knight folded the papers he was holding and put his hands behind his back, standing up even straighter somehow. "Very well." He made eye contact with Lou. "You promised me you wouldn't talk to him. And you," he continued, turning to the Prince, "promised me you would behave yourself around guests." He shook his head, returning his attention to the last of the letters in his stack. "I am deeply disappointed in both of you."
"What—I've been behaving. I was on my best behavior!" The Prince leaned closer to Lou. "Loulou, is that why you didn't say anything the first time?"
Lou could only stare at her knees through the covers. She dared not make a sound, lest she break her word even more—if such a thing was even possible. She had felt so many new emotions in the last few minutes and none of them were good.
"Look, Frederic," the Prince continued, "to her credit, she really did keep her mouth shut around me. I simply... acted in an unbecoming way to make her reconsider."
Frederic narrowed his eyes at the Prince's choice of words. "Did you now."
"I got impatient. Had to practically drag the words out of her." He gestured with one hand while mulling the words over in his mind. "Kissing may have been involved.
Frederic's eyes went from Lou, to the Prince, and back to Lou. "I see," he finally said, his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. "In that case, I am deeply disappointed in only one of you."
"Oh for crying out loud—"
"You do have the award ceremony for the guard who stopped the intruder earlier this year. It's in a few minutes. Would you like me to handle it?"
The Prince hesitated for a moment, then gave Lou's shoulder another affectionate squeeze. "...Would you be so kind?"
Frederic took a deep breath as if to sigh, then stopped himself just short. "I made preparations in advance, just in case. I shall let you know how it went." He bowed to the both of them, then gave Lou a nod. "Sir," he said, turning to open the door. "Your Majesty," he added under his breath as he left, closing the door behind him.
Lou let out a sigh of relief, both from being free of one of the most awkward conversations of her life and from having regained her former second in command's respect.
The Prince let out a frustrated grunt as he shook his head. "Can you believe him?" He gave Lou a quick peck on the cheek before throwing open the covers and jumping to his feet. "Loulou, thank you for this lovely visit, but it's about time we got going. Where will you go now?" He walked over to his mirror, picking up some pants here, a shirt there, and putting together an outfit on the go.
"Oh, uh," Lou said, a bit distracted by the impromptu kiss, "I should... I should go and apologize to the head maid, I'm going to be so late. I'll volunteer for double duty to make up for it." She reached over to her apron, which had somehow gotten itself tangled up in one of the canopy strings.
"What?" The Prince stopped mid-stride, turning to her as he buttoned up his shirt. "You're kidding, right? You're not going back to work."
She looked at him. "I'm... not?"
He chuckled as he shook his head. "No, of course not!" He walked back to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. "Loulou, you got what you wanted, didn't you? Why would you keep up your little charade? Aren't there better places to be than here, waiting on people hand and foot?" He put a hand on her shoulder and gave her an affectionate little shake. "Besides, I asked you to stay late with me in my room last night—in full view of your coworker—and you never went back to your bed afterwards. Trust me, that ship has sailed."
Lou just stared, mouth agape. Part of her had considered this might happen, judged it quite likely actually, but... had just refused to believe it could happen. And yet, here she was, facing another battle she wasn't ready for. "But..."
"I was happy to make time for you, but I am rapidly running out of it. Things are going to start being very, very busy if I'm to get everything done." The Prince leaned over, gave her a kiss on the forehead, and then went back to the mirror to finish getting dressed. "I told you, Loulou. One night."
She nodded absently, fighting an unspeakable surge of raw emotion. "Make it count."
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