Help! I Became A Guy In A BL Novel!

How naive of me to think he would love me. How stupid to believe I was anything more than a distraction, an object he could own. Play with. Discard.

His heart thudded in his chest like a drum, matching the fever's rising heat.

They said I was lucky. Lucky that someone like him even looked my way.

They don't know what it's like.

His throat tightened, as if the pain of unspoken words were catching fire inside it. These were the thoughts of the original Riven, he just knew it. The feelings of despair and helplessness were all too familiar, unfortunately.

They don't know how it feels to wake up every day wondering what it would be like... To have someone treat you kindly, because I never got to experience kindness. Not even once.

His chest rose and fell, faster now, erratic, like his body was trying to escape his own thoughts.

I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of trying to guess who I am in their story. The hero? The villain? A prize? A placeholder?

I am tired of surviving. I want to live for once... And not be used. I guess for someone like me, that is too much of an ask.

I love them... I loved them. But maybe love isn't enough.

His mind circled around one last thought—quieter, more fragile than the rest.

Maybe I'm not enough. Maybe I never was.

Even now, I escaped that hellish wolf clan that saw me, a half-wolf, as an abomination. They wanted me dead and erased from this world, just like my father did. I escaped them and ended up here, thinking I could somehow find a way to live.

He was not in that place anymore. A place where, at every turn, there were bad memories. It was supposed to be a fresh start. For the first time in a long time, I felt hope. The Snow Leopard clan prioritised wealth and power... Not identity. Maybe I could shed the identity of a shameful half-wolf.

Riven was confused. Was this original Riven's thoughts? But this was not how it went in the novel. He did not even get the chance to escape before he was... Killed. Riven found the information he was viewing contradictory.

What was the truth? What was he witnessing?

This seemed more in line with the present, but he felt none of this, so what was happening? Riven's brows furrowed, the voice he heard was filled with anguish, just pure pain and hopelessness, it tugged on his heart. It made him feel the ache the voice was going through.

He took an interest in me... As a plaything but nothing more. I, of course, was too stupid to realise that. I gave him every part of myself. Only to end up with nothing which I could call mine.

And just when I thought things were taking a turn for the better, the bond was activated. I found out I had a mate, I knew this day would come, but not so soon. Not when I was so close to salvation.

What was the point of having a mate when I knew that he would hate me, and unsurprisingly, he did hate me.

Ronan did not hate him... Stop saying that! Riven could not bear to hear that. His Ronan would never.

Soren, who was losing interest in me, suddenly found me useful again, he wanted me to go back to Ronan. He was going to get a good deal in return, I don't know what that alpha promised him.

I had to kneel for hours to get Soren to meet me. He did not take it seriously first, but then realised how the bruises would affect my 'value'. I begged him not to send me back to the wolf clan.

He looked at me coldly, as if to let me know I had outlived my usefulness. Since the bond has been activated, if I stay away from Ronan for too long, I will get sick, and maybe eventually die. How would that benefit him? It wouldn't, so he made me a deal.

If I could sever the bond between Ronan and I... And survive it. He would let me stay. Was it out of kindness? I did not think so. Was it because he had some feelings for me, not even a little? It was probably because no one had ever tried what I was going to try.

The breath he had been holding was finally free. He was suffocating, he could not breathe, but once the truth about severing the bond was out, he could finally take in some air. Riven was shocked. He could not understand this. What was he seeing?

But how could he sever the bond? That was unheard of, impossible even. Just what was this Riven doing? What circumstances pushed him to this extent.

Riven was convinced that this was the original storyline. Because nothing else could explain it. Maybe the novel got it wrong. Maybe Riven's death was not as simple as they described. It was just a footnote in the original story.

"The Alpha's mate had been killed by the elders, it was their way of ensuring the Alpha's bloodline continued." But only after he came to this world he realised there was another factor at play, the disdain for half-breeds.

The fact that the elders would go this far to secure Ronan's bloodline when they eventually planned to overthrow him and take over the wolf clan did not make sense!

Nothing made sense!

He stopped hearing from that voice, instead, he heard someone else's, it sounded like it carried an ounce of worry, not too much, but barely, "Has it ever been done before?"

Soren replied with a nonchalant tone, "They have tried but never succeeded." Riven was not the only one who had troubles with their mates. And as much as they respected the Moon Goddess, it was not enough for them to blindly trust her decision.