Heartthrob

As they snuggled, Esper James felt something grow inside her... in her chest at first, but then, her gut and arms and legs and throat. It tingled, it thrilled, and it set her entire body alight. It surprised her, bewildered her... it was so uncharacteristic she began to wonder, then, if she had been drugged. Had something been slipped into her food? No, it would have been more immediate if it had...

She was, undeniably and unexplainably, excited. She wasn't just excited - fuck, as the minutes whiled away, she was bursting at the seams with energy. It had been so long since they'd been out of the convent, she felt... so long since they'd walked city streets and mingled with real people. Those bitter experiences of modern life she had once taken for granted? The awful people on the sidewalks, the leers of men and women from shadowy alleyways, the drunken fumblers on the bus or subway?

God, now, she missed them - if only for the normalcy they had established in her mind in the last however-many years since she'd died.

She missed the midnight air - missed the scent of standing bars in those alleys off of main street, the butcheries that sold processed slop fried in gutter oil, the smog that burned her lungs so imperceptibly that they felt strange in this new, purified atmosphere. She needled herself internally for feeling such elation at the idea of fleeing safety... but needling only went so far to push down that ironic joy.

Maybe Purity was right after all. Maybe... maybe they weren't made for this kind of life. Maybe they weren't made for luxuriating in tranquility, seeing as they had been born into the UNAC's tumult so long ago now. Struggle and grief were all that people like them knew; now, after a long period of rest and recuperation, perhaps it was time to struggle again.

Esper James couldn't suppress her smile, brows pointing down to malicious effect. They had contacts now, right? Kell, and the convent, and whoever the hell Purity said she knew? Maybe... Maybe they'd be able to do something. Something, anything, just... make problems for Tsang, however they could manage. It was a lofty dream for a girl like Esper James, who still worried that maybe the nuns were going to kill her for perceived slights... but, it wasn't completely out of the question.

She and Purity had spoken before, at length, about wanting to do something against Tsang. It didn't really matter what it was, so long as she could put forth an effort to dismantle the oppressive regime that had fucked her, and Purity, over for their whole lives. Even if all she could do is waylay an IRE transport van, EJ would be able to die - truly die, because she was sure they'd execute her - with a sense of pride. Or, at least, so she imagined. So her now-manic mind told her.

Purity and Esthrielle didn't seem to notice just how riled up their gal pal was becoming: Purity was busy texting, presumably Kell, and Est was staring up at the ceiling with irises flashing out a Morse code signal. That is to say, both of EJ's gal pals were distracted supremely and impenetrably - and that was just fine for the little blonde. She would be plenty happy here, lingering in their touch.

That was the flip side to it all, she figured. If the three of them left the convent, to go be freedom fighters or even just live a sort-of-normal life or something, they would rarely - if ever - get a chance to snuggle like this again. This sort of peace, and tranquility... this sort of calm, complacent love. It wouldn't come easy, and it wouldn't come cheap. They'd need to keep their profiles low, and, and, and... Esper James couldn't really think of anything else they'd need to do that she hadn't already considered. There was nothing. The ghoulish girl began to scour her brain for all the vital information she could find, drawing upon movies, comics, TV shows, games, books...

And even after pouring through every possible piece of fictional media she had consumed in her unnaturally-prolonged twenties, all she got was a void. Would Tsang really hunt them, like in the movies? Would there be bounties posted, and kill squads assigned, and this and that and the other thing? Or... Well, she couldn't deny that she really didn't have any experience with being a lethal, anti-corporatist freedom fighter. Guerilla warfare always seemed cool to her, and it was her go-to in strategy games that allowed for it, but...

...well? She had no fucking clue where to begin when it wasn't something going on through the veneer of a computer screen. She thought back, then, to that night running back home with Est... both of them dressed in Judas's nightgowns, both splattered with blood that was not, and never would be, their own. She thought, for the hundredth time she imagined, of the way the officer's throat had torn and been rent asunder in her teeth.

That was the extent of her knowledge of rebellion. She had fired a gun twice in her life, and both times were in this very month. Only once had actually been aimed to kill - and it had hit its mark, but that had only been from, say, eight feet away. Indoors. Not a really great track record to be working off of - as far as resumes went, Esper James was more versed in the office than the battlefield.

But whatever. She could learn, she assured herself; she would force herself to learn, because the alternative was to not even try.

That was another thing she had to consider. She was dragged back up to reality from the dark waters wherein she had swam not long ago, idle dreams of rebellious heroism - and even martyrdom, if need be - clinging tight but ultimately allowing her to go free. Esper James cast a glance to Purity, then to Esthrielle, and then to herself. Or, well, what little of herself wasn't currently buried under one of the other women, in any case.

She was having a lot of big thoughts, huh? Big, grandiose dreams of righteous violence in the name of freedom from persecution and oppression. Real hero shit, the sort of thing someone would write a book about... the sort of thing that only ever really happened in those same books, it seemed. Vitus had never really been the place for heroism, anyways.

To think she and Purity and Est could go up against Tsang was foolish. But, well, they had to try, because the alternative was, again, not to even attempt it. To accept a life in a gilt cage, always wondering and hoping and praying that forces outside of their control wouldn't interfere with the tenuous peace they had created and embraced. They'd be trapped underground as decoration for the convent, existing only in a vague, extant way, like friendly ghosts who never truly mattered anymore.

Esper James had had enough of living like that. She had been in a very similar position back in Tsang... and then again in the factory, and now here. She had felt so helpless for so long that, now that there was even the smallest inkling of a way for her to try and take control of her own life, she wasn't going to let it slip by without a fight. Literally.

She decided to put those thoughts from her mind, for now. Instead? If they were going to look at getting out of the convent, and back into the city, and if what Esper James assumed about their future capacity for moments of silence and love was true? She had better fucking savor this moment. She had better do everything she possibly could to etch it into her fucking brain, so that even in the depths of Hell she'd always remember this sweetness she may otherwise have taken for granted: to lay above and beneath your lovers on a soft bed, languishing in the warm silence and still, sharing skinship and unspoken words of love and devotion.

She hoped she'd get this again, despite it all. Despite what lay ahead.

EJ sunk down into the body pile and breathed deep, taking in the scent of skin and hair and body wash and body oil and every product in between. She drank it down like a life-giving elixir, becoming the Qin Shi Huang of polyamory for a moment in time - every gasp was another throat full of mercury, and she gulped it till she could take no more.

Esper James nuzzled her face into Purity's chest, giving her a squeeze; meanwhile, her feet played at Est's, trying to garner affectionate attention from either lover simultaneously. She was rewarded near-immediately, with Purity putting her left hand up to palm the back of the blonde's head and push her face in further. Purity smirked down at EJ as the smaller gal made a muffled sound of surprise; she was tempted to grab Est, too, but cellular communications took priority. For now.

Being smothered in Purity's buxom bosom made EJ kick her feet with playful faux-worry, as if trying to free herself or exclaim. This, in turn, made her bop at Est's feet in repetition. Soft ghoulflesh met synthetic skin in kiss after kiss, touch after touch, each kick of EJ's feet doing its best to bother Est in a way laced with love. Est was anything but stoic in the face of such antics.

She put on a fake scowl, obviously formed in jest, and roared. "Raaaagh! EJ! Stop kicking me-e-e! I'm trying to talk to Zofi and you're distracting me-e-e!" Her hands wound back before being thrust forth, fingertips making a ginger landing on Esper James's ribs. Then, the true torment was inflicted: fingers brushed along ribs in erratic but measured motions, just forceful enough to draw sensation, but too light to keep from irritating the skin.

Esper James began to genuinely wriggle then, her previous motions born of a desire to gently annoy; now that she was being tickled, her writhing form was much more earnest. Est laughed maniacally in a performative display as she made her blonde babe squirm like a nightcrawler, fueled by Esper James's squealing and Purity's own amused cackling. Purity helped from the other side, then: not tickling EJ, but putting her entire left arm around EJ's head rather than the palm alone. This kept the ghoul firmly trapped in a prison of softness and sensation, without respite.

EJ was going wild, brain completely swept free of any of the important things she had been contemplating earlier. How had this happened? How had she been tricked into this position, forced to undulate beneath the tactile ministrations of a woman with artificial arms, all while being drowned in another woman's chest? God, she was so lucky, she thought... but also, God, how was she going to escape this?!

Laughter broke from her then even as she squealed and whined with greater gusto, the impromptu tickle-session setting all three hearts alight with a joy and relief they still weren't fully familiar with. While it was true that love was abundant between the three... well, things had been tough recently, what with just about everything. From EJ drowning, to dying, to Luca leaving, and Purity declaring that they should leave the convent... it had been a lot. Stress was a common bedfellow.

But here, playfully tormenting Esper James, sharing laughter and love was easier than breathing or blinking. It was water in a desert, and the three women had worked up a thirst they hadn't even realized until now. The tickling wound down, and Esthrielle's hands went even deeper into their triple-embrace. Artificial arms wrapped about a half-dead midriff and squeezed, EJ becoming the middle spoon in an instant.

"Hahaha...! Gah, you two're cute, you know that? I... I'm gonna miss this, when things get bad again." Est's smile became sad before a response could even be given by either of her lovers; her eyebrows became downturned, as did the corners of her lips even as their centers raised. Even as Purity opened her mouth to rebuke Est's pessimism, the Easterner put her face into the crook of EJ's right shoulder and neck and nuzzled in.

Purity's pink lips formed a supple O as she tried to formulate a response, shutting for a split-second as she actually considered what she would say. They opened again as the club darling did her best to refute Est's certainty that things would get bad again. "Hey! No, no, we're gonna be fine. Things might be a little rough at first, I won't lie, but...! But we'll find a way to be happy, and to stay together. We'll find a way, no matter what it takes. Okay?"

Est wished she could say 'okay'; so did EJ, though she couldn't vocalize her assent for different reasons. Purity's joy had become a pout at how downhearted her girls had become in a single instant, and she finally put her phone down. A right arm was used to great effect, now forming a semicircle about the Knight to drag her in closer in the hug. Purity leaned forth, kissing the Esippardi girl's forehead.

"I promise. On my life, we will be fine out there. There may be some ups, and some downs - that's just life! Life had good and bad! No darkness without light! But... I know in my heart, more than I know anything else... we'll find a way, to be safe and to be happy and to live how people were supposed to live." No answer was necessary this time, nor was it expected. Instead, Purity simple gave the two other women a solid squeeze and held it until they each untensed as one.

-

They lay like that for a great while, until dinner. Zofia was right, as it turned out: the Knights had found a contact in the city who was willing to cater, it seemed. Enormous fresh whitefish, salt-grilled and with a side of chili sauce, made for a delicious scent within the dining hall - and an oddity to witness, thought Esper James. All across the hall, nuns who had never eaten a whole fish in their life were struggling to figure out how to attack the piscine provisions. Some of them were dipping spoons into the accompanying sauce in a misguided idea that it was soup - which, quickly, they found it was not.

Est, Purity, and Esper James all sat beside one another in a row, right like that. Esthrielle looked to Purity, waiting for her to broach the main course... and Purity, in turn, looked to Esper James. The two living women watched patiently to see how the dead one began her assault on the fish, hoping for some kind of advice they could follow. They were disappointed by what they saw.

Esper James, no stranger to fish and with that gut full of terrible, potent alkahest, simply grabbed her fish in both hands and began to take bites. In fact, the specific region she bit at was anything but measured or precise - she attacked it like it was a hot dog, or a loaf of bread, chomping down everywhere any anywhere she saw fit. Fish was dunked with bare hands into her little pot of sauce, then transferred directly to her ravenous maw for immediate, merciless consumption.

It was great, at least it was to her. Salty yet light... thick and moist on the inside, yet crunchy from fried skin and salt-grill preparation... It was like eating fried chicken made of fish. Sure, fried fish was its own thing, but the exterior was nothing similar to fried chicken... except this, which was meaty in that seafood way yet anything but fishy. Seasalt and garlic played at the back of her tongue while exotic chilis played sweet-and-tangy upon her main palate. It was a lovely change from the normal diet of 'broth and meat stew' she was normally provided here.

Eventually, Est just looked up how to eat it, and told Purity. They slit it down the middle and peeled their fish-skins free, giving them to a very thankful Esper James, before digging in. And with that, the trio was immersed in aqueous indulgence - with a side of red wine, as always. They drank so very much red wine in the convent.

Zofia eventually found her way over to the ladies, shifting tables to sit across from them at their otherwise isolated table-end position. She set her plate down gingerly, not wanting her massive fish dinner to topple to the tile below, before taking a seat upon the hardwood bench provided.

"Hey, girls, haha... I... Hope you don't mind me sitting with you, haha...!" She awkwardly flashed her steely fangs, and Purity shook her head amenably. "Nah, Zofi, you're just fine sweetheart. We... Well, Est told you, right?" Purity said no more, simply looking to the brown-haired girl with a knowing smirk. Zofi became excited without delay, nodding rapidly, all thoughts of food shoved from her mind.

"Yes! Yeah, yes, she...! I'm... I'm so thankful, to all three of you. I-I... I knew I could trust you three, I knew you'd understand. We're all in the same boat in a sense, haha, you know? In, uh, in a sense, at least..." The Polish penitent became bashful then, cheeks flaring rosy, eyes weighted towards her lap. It was Esthrielle's turn to comfort the other woman, it seemed - EJ, who hadn't even known there was some kind of plan, watched on with a mingled sense of dread and delight. She was, at the very least, intrigued about whatever they were discussing.

"Zofi, hey. I get it - we get it. We're... Gonna be setting things into motion. Soon. Very soon. It shouldn't cause a stir, so... you'll be fine, we'll all be fine. Okay? Just, uh, eat your fuckin' fish, haha... might be the last chance we get to eat in a place like this. For a while, anyways." Est gave Zofia a smile that was leagues more comforting than Purity's cocksure smirk; Zofi looked up and matched it, thankful for the reassurance.

EJ was confused, but also... that excitement from earlier began to well up once again, like thick red sap coursing through the veins of a tree. Soon.

Soon.