Heartthrob

Dinner slowly but surely was resumed, and at a normal-ish tempo. A shell-shocked Esper James was brought another plate, this time simply raw pork with a sprinkle of garlic salt and black pepper, hand-rubbed into the meat's fibres. She picked at it slowly throughout the dining period, apprehensive of every single bite, though no further flesh sent her spiraling into the dissociative craze of earlier consumption. There was no more blood, either - the pork was, of course, exsanguinated at the butcher's shop. Anything even resembling red fluid had been done away with.

Purity and Esthrielle flanked Esper James with greater intensity than before. Purity slivered her steak into thin slices in a restrained fervor, making each piece bite-sized; once everything on her plate could be downed in a single chomp, she lent an arm to wrap around EJ's waist. Est, too, took a one-handed approach to tonight's dinner - but whereas Purity was practical, Esthrielle was more barbaric. Rather than slice her meat into slivers, she just stabbed her entrée in its center and took rough, flesh-rending mouthfuls away at will. They were both shaking, and for good reason.

Est's brain had been providing a steady slideshow of flashbacks to the other night, at the club, and at the manse. EJ had been so drunk... So far outside her own head that it was like she was a flesh automaton more than a person. The girl who had once been 'Esper James Price-Wynnfield' was instead a mindless, thoughtless homunculus, something that had barely resembled a human being. Tonight had reminded her of that.

Esthrielle licked her fangs as she remembered, one of the few brief memories she had of their time at the Jezzebelle: biting EJ. The way it had snapped her from her fugue; the way it had thrilled her, yes, sure, but that wasn't the point. It had snapped her out of whatever fugue she had been immersed in, forcing her whole body to react. It had buckled her knees... It had sent her brain cascading back into her body, but it had also stolen control from her.

It had pacified her.

Now, with her tongue running over sharpened steel, Est sent her thoughts away from that whole night. She returned to the present. In the present, she considered the taste of EJ's blood... that thick black fluid, ever-so-slightly grainy, as if it was heavily spiced stew, or impurity-riddled oil. Its taste was bitter and nearly noxious; it tasted of blood, sure, but foul blood run through a filth-ridden gutter. It made Est think of abattoir dregs.

She sighed, pulling her tongue away from her fangs. It was a thought for later; and maybe she’d even get some answers from the convent. They did say they were going to run some tests on EJ… tests that, now that shit had hit the fan in a major way, Est had no intention of not overseeing. She was a Knight too - they owed her at least that much, right?

Another sigh. The three of them were owed that much, she figured. Things had been so hectic, with barely any time to calm down and take a fucking breath… It was without question that EJ needed it, but what about Purity? What about the white-haired wayward herself? It had been hammer-blow after hammer-blow, a constant repetition of repercussions for each and every action they seemed to make. It was getting old, she felt. It made her feel helpless - forced to just watch as they were dealt a shit hand, again and again. Why was Vitus like this?

That was a question that would go unanswered, she feared. Maybe the second-living were fine, at least some of them, but this city was fucked. It changed people; it made everything that was supposed to be bliss into bane. She had tried to fight off her emotions for far too long now, spent way too much time and effort on suppressing herself. In an ironic way, she felt kinship with the second-living in that sense: living or dead, Western or Eastern, they all suppressed their true nature.

Shit was fucked.

Esthrielle pulled on EJ with the arm around the shorter girl’s waist, squeezing her ever so much tighter into the already claustrophobic embrace. An ivory-haired head turned to regard the blonde, eyes downcast but lips restraining a sneer - not at EJ, but at their situation. This was her fault. She had been the one to convince EJ and Purity to come here; it had been her idea to get in contact with the Knights. Seeing Luca again was… euphoric, in a lot of ways, but it didn’t absolve her of the guilt of it all.

She shut her eyes, sweeping away those dark emotions like so much dust. She’d always been good at pushing her feelings away, she figured - now was the time to do so, if anything. When she opened them again, her gaze rested upon Purity.

The pinkette’s own expression was less a mask of placid, bitter restraint, and more of barely-contained outrage and despair. She could only guess at what the taller woman was thinking: was she mad at Luca? At the Knights? At Esthrielle? At herself? Of the two, Est hoped that Puri would be mad at her instead of internalizing that fury. The Wayward knew what such things did to a person’s heart. Purity was sweet, maybe the most loving and gentle out of the three of them. She didn’t deserve to blame herself.

It would’ve killed Est to know the truth of Purity’s thoughts. In her mind and heart, she was furious - furious with the Knights, furious with Luca, and furious at herself. What the fuck had they given EJ? That brown-haired bitch was right: they should have known better. And yes, they're foreigners, and yes, they supposedly hate the second-living, but shouldn't you know about them if you hate them so much? If you're willing to kill them, wouldn't it make sense to have a solid knowledge of them, so you know why you hate them?

Whatever. Purity shook her head, the thoughts flung free bodily. It was moot to think these things; what was done was done, and while she felt justified in her anger, she also didn't want to seem like a bitch about it. EJ was okay; Est was okay; she was okay. Everything was going to be okay. There was no use in clinging to it like a bitter fuck. At least, that's what she told herself.

Her hand squeezed EJ for a moment, silently reminding the ghoulette that she and Est were here. Words unspoken said a lot: that they'd never let something like this happen again; that they didn't hold it against her; that they were sorry. God, Purity was so fucking sorry. She picked at her steak with the enthusiasm of a pencil-pusher walking to their termination meeting. Her eyes, puffy and red from tears, focused as hard as they could upon her meal - though they yearned to flash a hateful glance at Luca.

They had been recovering. They had been getting better at being fugitives; better at keeping their heads down. She had had plans to invite Est out on a date (as much of a date as one could have in the industrial sector), even, to try and put a bit more finesse on that whole situation. Fuck, she had even had dinner planned; she'd found a lovely little butchery just a twenty minute walk from where they had been staying! She had had plans, ideas on how to treat her lovers the way they deserved! To see them smile again!

And then Luca and his little blonde arm-candy had shown up in their slick black hearse to ruin it all. Sure, they'd been nice enough so far... but tonight? Tonight was both the first and last straw. A fuck-up of this size was not easily forgiven, nor easily forgotten. Frankly, Purity had half a mind to just start taste-testing any other foods they were given specifically for EJ. That would have put her mind at ease... and it would get her closer to the ghoulette, sort of. Knowing what she ate, experiencing it for herself? It'd make her feel closer, just by knowing that much more about how EJ lived.

EJ's brain was stuck upon the inverse of the women at her sides' thoughts. She wasn't thinking of herself, or even the Knights - she was thinking of them. What had it been like for them, she wondered. Seeing her completely fade out, more or less, becoming something less than a person in a matter of seconds. She thought, then, of those vague sounds when she had been in the haze... the sobs, the cries, the shouts.

It was clearer in retrospect; hindsight was a bit more precise than twenty-twenty. They had been shouting her name, voicing concerns that started modest and quickly ramped into sheer terror. They had been shaking her... Screaming, inches from her ear, putting their hands in front of her face. Est had been pleading with her, offering her things that EJ knew she could never give. Purity had been squeezing her like a life preserver on stormy seas, crying her heart out when it became apparent EJ was unresponsive.

It disgusted her. Not their reactions, no, what disgusted EJ was her own inability to break herself free of that copper-flavoured ocean, only allowed to dive deeper and deeper. It had been so wonderful in the moment, that was true; but now, looking back, knowing what she knew... having seen the repercussions of it... It nauseated her in a visceral way. She had been weak. She had allowed herself to become so overwhelmed; she had given herself permission to let it push her head beneath crimson waves.

Eurgh. She wished she could simply shake free that feeling of illness, like shedding a winter coat. Instead, all she could really do was linger there, soul's flesh rebelling against the garment draped atop it. Her hands balled into fists. She had since abandoned the earlier idea to avoid embarrassing Esthrielle, because what the fuck more could she do? How could she have made a bigger scene? And so, all thoughts of proper etiquette shoved from her brain in favor of feeding her beast, she leaned down and took the pork with her bare fangs.

No one said anything, unsurprisingly. It was exactly as she had thought, of course - what else could she do at this point that would really drive the nail deeper? She was already socially crucified to these women: hands pinned to a cross of shame, dying there for the conversational sins of her peers and lovers. Death never stayed long for people like her, though, so even as she felt the shame die away and subside, it began anew in a heated rush.

She sighed. Every part of her wished she could pull Est and Purity that much closer - get squished down to a flat, thin little slip of paper by their bodies, so that her entirety could be against them at once. That would have been heavenly... even simply going back to their room and snuggling up for the rest of the night would've been great. Sadly, no chance of it.

The meal drew to its completion with a round of dessert: for the omnivores, creme brulee with a cinnamon sprinkle mixed-in. For the carnivore? Bacon, marinated in maple syrup for over a day, then coated in brown sugar before being baked to a crisp. Luca hesitantly informed her that the bacon had been 'in the works' since they had first learned there would be a ghoul coming to stay, and as a guest, no less. He seemed to want to be proud of his own preparations, wavering smile showing great bluster; tonight's earlier events had rocked him too deeply, however.

The bacon was put away with gusto, but not too much of it. Purity lived up to her own self-appointed role of taste-tester now, snatching up a strip with one hand and staying EJ's mouth with the other. Once the delicious plank of sugar-crusted meat, so buttery and creamy yet with a rich overtone of smokiness, was consumed, she moved her restraining hand back from Esper James's mouth and gave her a nod. EJ didn't feel inclined to ask... not to really see it as a bother. Purity wanted to check her food. Made sense, and it settled her nerves ever so slightly.

The first bite of bacon was, as it always is, the most succulent. The meat was smoky, fatty in such a way that it melted in one's mouth, and possessed of a stinging, pleasant savoriness. The exterior, the crisped glaze? Sweetness came through in drizzling waves, like pouring hot caramel onto one's tongue, the autumnal taste of molasses and maple wrapping it with a bow. It was every bit the indulgence EJ needed in this moment - her craving for human blood had been sated, of course, but sugar healed the heart.

Chomp, crunch, munch, chew, gulp. The bacon strips disappeared like tickets into a counting machine at an arcade. Her stomach, never feeling truly full, ate away at them with as much vigor as a piranha swarm starved for weeks. She was finished nearly as quickly as she started, and when she had completed, she simply drank in the room around her with her eyes.

That brown-haired girl from earlier had sat across from her and the others, never letting that earlier smile fully fall from her lips. She cast the odd glance up towards EJ, and made no qualms about openly observing the ghoulette; she occasionally let her eyes drift to Purity and Esthrielle, but never for too long. There was a different sort of hesitation to address them, it seemed, even with words which never left her throat. That suited the three lovers just fine, though; like Luca had earlier said, there'd be plenty of time for questions later.

Luca's own questions seemed to have been buried along with his hopes for a nice, pleasant meal, though his relief was palpable. He shoveled creme brulee into his mouth with great insistence, his shoulders hunched, his face showing a kindness and warmth that seemed more for his own benefit than anyone else's. EJ didn't blame him, though - and frankly, didn't blame anyone here. They hadn't known. They hadn't seen how Wayward blood, presumably infused with some sort of chemical additive, would affect the second-living.

That did make her think, though, just for a second. The Waywards were mostly mechanized, right? Even Esthrielle was less meat than machine, and she was considered to be on the more conservative part of the bodily augmentation spectrum. She blinked the line of inquiry away, willing to accept that she just didn't know as much about her new hosts as she thought she might've. Even being here, alive proved that to her in abundance. How would she still be alive if everything she thought she knew-

And therein her thought process was stopped, the sudden rising of every nun in the room drawing her far too completely to ignore. One by one, they collected their dishware and refuse and proceeded to a door on the far end of the dining room, silently forming a pristine, perfect line. EJ went to follow suit, without any indication she should do so; peer pressure pressed upon the still-fresh wounds of her earlier episode.

Luca put a hand up and upon her shoulder; Esthrielle and Purity pulled her back down to sit. Luca cleared his throat softly, as if afraid to cause a disruption within the deafening quiet of the dining hall. "Ah... Esper James, don't worry about that. Someone will be along to fetch your plate. You too, Esthrielle, and miss Purity... Leave them. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to ask you a few questions once everyone leaves..." He smiled at them, then, flashing his immaculate teeth and giving the trio a friendly wink.

EJ wondered about that. Luca, the girl with brown hair, the other nuns in their entirety... They all had normal teeth. Normal insofar as their shape, at least. The blonde returned the smile for a moment, then turning her head to shoot a sly look at Est's mouth, remembering the feeling of her own flesh being broken. Est had fangs - steel fangs, even. It wasn't as though she was trying to blend in with Vitus regulars. Why were her's different?

Thoughts for later. Luca needed an answer now. "Y-Yeah, Luca, sure... We wouldn't mind at all. I'd... I'd love to answer any questions you've got. Don't worry about offending me, haha, I've got, uh... th-thick skin..." She knew her shaky tone and unsure delivery wasn't the best way to convey her confidence, but she had to try anyways. It was true, at least, that there was no confidence to back her statements; but still, she wanted to see what the Easterners had to ask her.

Slowly but surely, the nun-line moved out of the dining room and through the single door to, presumably, a kitchen or washroom of some sort. Eventually, the four of them were alone. Luca stood, going to drift about the table in his violet drapery to sit across from the trio, his long black hair taking an inky shine from the room's LED sconces. The door that the nuns had disappeared into opened just as he was about to speak; the girl with the brown hair strode forth from the yawning portal, bringing another woman with her.

This other woman was tall, nearly as tall as Luca, and her own hair was a rich, dark brown that brought to mind Christmas fudge. Her sharp, elegant eyes, however, were anything but a natural tone: the LED lamplights of a Wayward's irises were hued in gorgeous, honey-like amber, and she never really seemed to blink as she approached. The lighting in the room cast its warming glow to hue her cream-coloured skin in a healthier, sun-kissed tone.

Luca acknowledged the new pair with a nod and a smile, gesturing beside himself for them to sit. The woman with the amber eyes put her hands to the front of her thighs, supporting herself as she gave a slight bow; the girl with the brown hair, however, gave EJ a friendly wave and a smile. The two sat, one on either side of Luca, yet to speak but clearly looking the women across the table over. Luca's eyes flashed in that imperceptible way, and the amber-eyed woman blinked, finally, before speaking aloud.

"Hello, honored guests. I am the mother abbess of this convent. I would like to humbly beg forgiveness for tonight's disruption; we have yet to receive any documentation regarding the effects of our infusions on the..." She scanned her brain for the right word, staring blankly at EJ. Another flash from Luca, his face turned to regard her, and she continued. "...second-living." She shut her mouth with a sort of finality usually reserved for executions. In the void she left, the brown-haired girl spoke up, her own tone showing a thousand times the emotion of her superior.

"Hello as well! My name is Zofia, Zofia Kaczmarek. Sister Zofia works, or just Zofia, or Zofi. I'm the, ah, head field researcher for this convent. It's my job to learn more about people like you, EJ!" Her excitement never seemed to dwindle nor die; she was every bit as enthusiastic from start to finish, and even when she finished speaking, she continued to smile. Upon closer observation, with a moment of calm to actually give thought to the action, EJ looked to her teeth. She had been, in some ways, hoping they were normal, like Luca's.

Not even close. Fangs, of tempered, polished steel, just like Est's. They were thinner, too, less of the thick pillars of metal that EJ's lover held, and... Well. EJ couldn't help but feel her skin crawl as she realized they reminded her of the teeth of a ghoul. Zofia nodded to the three women across from her, putting her arms on the table and folding her hands. Purity was the first of the guests to respond to the two newcomers, her tone measured, but a sliver of something more hidden away in its centre.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, mother abbess, Zofia. I'm Purity Aloise Francharde, and before you ask, yes, Purity is my given name." Zofi's smile was returned with a restrained sort of smile, her own beautifully pearl-looking teeth in their own sharp contrast to the Easterners'. Est neglected to say anything; they already knew who she was, anyways. It wouldn't have made any difference for her to introduce herself, because at the end of the evening, why would it?

EJ's turn, then. They knew who she was, too, right? At least a little? But, manners were manners... "I'm Esper James Price-Wynnfield. It's, uh, it's n-nice to meet you two, Zofi, mother abbess... Thank you for dinner, a-and the outfit, and letting us stay the night here..." She wanted to throw in how amazing it had been to sleep and screw in and on a real bed, but thought that that would've been a bit too pathetic. She knew she was a bit pathetic most times, but still, better to not give others too much ammo on her.

Luca nodded, and the other two followed suit. He opened his mouth to speak, then, addressing the three women all in one go. "Alright, ladies... Honored guests. You've agreed to come here, help educate us about the nature of the second-living, and see how we live in turn. So. There are some important things we'd like to know, things that may come across as rude, or as insensitive... Questions born of ignorance. I can only plead for your understanding in this matter."

EJ nodded timidly, trying to steel herself for whatever came next. It felt every bit like when people start a sentence off with 'don't take this the wrong way'. Whatever they were about to say was going to rip her apart at the seams, and likely be extremely callous. She wasn't afraid of it, per se, she'd received a lot of similar questions before she had died... but this time, the nature of them was different. Just another thing she couldn't change about herself, no matter how hard she tried. At least she had enjoyed, in some ways, being a ghoul.

The mother abbess spoke up first, waiting for a response from Esthrielle and Purity first before continuing. The ladies of the white and pink locks, respectively, nodded their assent. "Esper James, you are second-living. Your kind can only eat meat, or as I understand it, poisons. Smaller vegetative matter is simply not consumed; it is removed from you through unknown means, but meat, you can gorge upon." She let the statements sink in for a moment, eyes fixed upon the diminutive blonde.

She was right, of course. Everyone knew that second-living thrived off of meat and booze and not really anything else. Sugar seemed to get a pass, as did salt and spices... No one paid much thought to why. It was just assumed that they got dissolved and absorbed like the meat, and it was too inconvenient to really ponder the process of it all. EJ nodded to the mother abbess, waiting for her to continue. She didn't need to wait very long.

"So, then, why do you not all eat one another? Why is Vitus not a bloodbath - certainly, you crave the flesh of others. Why only the living? Why do you not consume the risen dead?"