Heartthrob

Motion came easily from impulse, but difficulty mounted as emotions began to show. Each woman played to her role without fuss, any remaining apprehension thrown away, save for that for their lovers. Esthrielle was uncertain in her movements, though few were necessary - the buck and roll of hips, a turn at the waist, the press of flesh-to-flesh. Her hands weren't as unsteady as they should have been, nerves suddenly crashing into her as she realized what she had signed up for. It was nothing she had ever dreamt of holding in her hands; it was nothing she had ever dared hope to see.

Purity was gentle, caring: the brush of fingertips along thighs, tracing the curvature of synthetic muscles, sent a warm lightning bolt up the Wayward's spine. Est went to speak, to try and direct - as she was assured her role was, in this liason - but the words died within her. Purity's tongue and lips saw to that. Esthrielle's response, quickly given though unbidden, was a ragged, breathy rush of air. It may have began as a moan, at one place, in one time. Instead, to her? It felt more akin to a cry.

She shivered, spine arching on its own, womanhood beset by cruel, benevolent fate. Red-tinted LEDs sought the blonde of their trio, trying to ground herself, trying for any sort of connection to reality. Rubies met emeralds, and shared words unspoken. The ghoul was upright, still, hands keeping Purity on hand and knee, appropriating her hips for personal use. Bodies pushed and clashed, jockeying for positions they already knew they would get. There was something mesmerizing, and somewhat placating, about seeing such practiced partnership.

Esper James said nothing, and hid nothing. Her full form was on display, though much of it was concealed beneath rolling hills of Purity, with more still buried therein. Est didn't... Didn't want to see. Not yet. Not so quickly. The cannibal offered peace through bared ivory - a show to shame a Cheshire, though bearing no mischief to compare. She was feeling fine. She didn't even seem phased that the two of them were back in this dance. Didn't even seem to feel the weight that pressed upon Esthrielle's sternum.

All at once, Est couldn't breathe. She was sure she could have, in a literal, physical sense - and yet every system was blocked, all processes locked out. What little meat remained in her form had betrayed her. Her eyes, still locked with Esper James', went wide - her hands, which had been left abandoned at the wayside, rushed to her throat. A choked attempt at something, anything, was all her partners had to hear.

Esper James began to speak frantically, smile disappearing in record speed; Purity's head rose from its nest, eyes snapping to Esper James, then locking to Esthrielle's. Both were speaking now; both were frantic, white-bread faces slathered with a butter of concern. No rage nor indignace was hosted. No blame nor scorn was borne upon her by them. The only thing they seemed to be focused on, as seconds ticked away, was Esthrielle's wellbeing. That was new.

Not from them, per se, but in general. As a child, Esthrielle had been an orphan, her father locked away. In adulthood, she took his place. Only once she had lost all youthful innocence had anyone stopped to ask how she felt, or what she wanted. Only Luca had ever truly seemed to care. And yet here, now, ugly truth bore unfamiliar beauty. EJ and Purity were upset - not at her, but for her. They wanted her to be okay. The more Est considered it, the sex was probably for her in the first place, Purity's way of reaching out. Purity's way of loving another.

The stone lodged in her windpipe budged, only enough that she could take in a single breath, then finding a new foothold within her. The white-haired woman brought her attention once more to her vision - to find she was staring at the ceiling. Purity's hand was on the Wayward's throat, pressing here and there, probing around. Trying to find a blockage, most likely - trying to discern the problem. EJ simply stood to the side, hands behind her back, face a portrait of shame and impotence. Self-loathing was painted there too, brushstrokes thicker and bolder by the second. From that familiar glassiness, she was near to tears.

Esthrielle was shocked once again by their fear. What was she to them, she thought. A protector who had failed time and time again. An ally whose only provision to their trio was who she knew. A poor excuse for a lover, as well - too afraid of her own emotions, and those of distant theocrats who meant nothing to her. She didn't even know what to say to Purity to keep the nun theme going.

But then, of course, the two women who now fussed over her still considered her worth the fuss. They cared if she recovered; they cared how she felt, and that she was okay. It was a lot for Esthrielle to take in. As her stockpile of breath dwindled to its last, she began to cry.

It first came in a single rough-shod sob, a trembling, quivering thing, clawing its way up and out of her throat. The stone of grief within was dislodged then, tumbling away, to somewhere unseen. Breathing came quickly then, to replace the stale air in her lungs; this fresh air was pushed free in mere seconds as further tears appeared. Purity's eyes lit up like candles, but her lips remained dour - she dropped her face to nestle between jaw and collarbone, arms wrapping the Italian tightly.

Esper James gasped loudly, and in that tension, it may well have been a rifle's report. Her body was as a ragdoll thrown across a room. EJ's torso fell atop Est's own, arms going to meekly hold her, lips going to timidly kiss her midsection. Esthrielle continued to sob, body wracked by them. The hands once held to her throat went now to the small of the other women's backs, fingers curling ineffectually in an attempt to hold onto them. Fingernails dragged along skin with uncharacteristic weakness; her prosthetics felt as diminished as when Judas had kissed her.

The comparison was a bitter pill, but Purity quickly swept it away. The pinkette squeezed Esthrielle with all her might, for but a moment, but enough to set her broken spirit back in its place. Purity's head rose from where it had been nestled, lips now bent in a remorseful smile. She placed a kiss on Est's forehead, directly above and between her brows. When her lips began to move in speech, some unthinking aspect of the orphan was surprised to hear what her companion was saying.

"...Esthrielle. We don't need to do this if you don't want to. You mean so much to us, to Esper James and I both... I'm sorry I even suggested it. It was insensitive of me, to say the least. It didn't... I wasn't giving enough thought to how you might feel. I guess I just... wanted to try and make a new memory with you, and EJ. Something sweet to remember, if things get sour." Purity, too, was crying now; she didn't sob like Esthrielle did, but her tears still came with that burning sting of emotion, and they fell like summer rain to Est's face.

If Est wasn't so caught up in her own pain, she would have liked to reassure the other woman. She would have liked to say anything at all, really, to try and let them both know they hadn't done anything wrong. They hadn't hurt her, and if they had, it wasn't their fault. In the midst of her own agony she yearned to dispel theirs. All that came from her was the awful sound of her own cruel sorrow.

Time passed, second by second, minute by minute, the wellspring of tears withering from a flood to a stream, a stream to a trickle. Finally, even that trickle was dammed. They lay there in one another's arms for a few moments before the silence was broken. Esthrielle finally let the words in her heart roll from quivering lips. Purity and Esper James didn't say anything right away, but they listened well, raising their heads to look to the broken girl with the pale locks.

"I, uh... P-Purity. Esper James. I... I'm sorry for ruining the mood. Don't speak; don't interject, not yet. Just... Lemme f-finish what I've got to say, ok? You two... You didn't do anything wrong." Her mouth broke into a sad facsimile of a smile, brows curved downwards, heart heavy but lightening. "You didn't hurt me, you d-didn't- You didn't offend me. You weren't insensitive. You wanted to... To help me feel better. To show you cared in the best way you've found." She looked to Esper James, and then to Purity; every syllable was a leaden weight dropped from her soul, it felt.

"I... I want to try again. Nothing weird, no... No costumes, ha-ha, just... Just us. Just the three of us... I, uh..." The next words to pass her lips were the heaviest of all of them, threatening to fall back down her throat, to hide within her heart. She forced them free after a moment, daring herself to say what she yearned for and dreaded deeply in equal measure. "I l-love you two. You've... We haven't known each other that long, it's t-true, but... But you're the best things that have ever happened to me. You and Luca. Without the two of you, I'd be..."

Esthrielle let herself trail away this time, words unspoken yet not unheard. She would still be killing innocents, still believing that she was alone, still filled with doubt as to if she should even be alive. She would still be bombing residences. She would still be burying herself in her work, so she didn't need to confront her own existence. She would still be an unthinking, unfeeling little pawn of an organization that she was quickly realizing she had no affection for. Maybe love was the wrong way to describe what she felt for them, but what did she know? She had never truly felt love before; not romantic love, at the least.

She had never really brushed the dust off of her atrophied heart, because it had never been safe to. She had never felt as though she could without dying more than she already had. Even now, vulnerability's cruel talons pierced Esthrielle's emotions to the marrow, but still she pressed on. She curled her fingers and uncurled them once more, a silent gesture of affection to the two women laying atop her. Esper James began to cry now, no eye left dry; however, her teardrops held no sorrow.

EJ's arms wrapped around Est's waist, gathering her up in an embrace. The emotions behind such a gesture were too myriad, too complicated, for EJ to pick out any single one. They were, however, good. It was good to hear Est say these things; it was so very comforting, so God damn calming, to know that Esthrielle was okay. To know that she wasn't upset with either of them... To know that she didn't blame them for anything. To know that they were all on similar ground.

Purity put her other arm out to wrap it around Esper James's back, pulling the diminutive girl in and up, lowering herself to press once more to Esthrielle's bare chest. The three of them shared, cherished even, a long, silent embrace. When they broke their hold upon one another, Purity took the initiative. She leaned her face down to Est's, silently asking permission - when it was given with a knowing look, Purity kissed her. Lips pressed to lips, their hearts connected between them, and when they had drunk their fill of the kiss, Purity gave her love to Esper James.

Esper James and Purity kissed; Esthrielle looked on with half-lidded eyes and a gradually blossoming grin. A hole in each of them had been long left gaping, the patchwork of their hearts ruptured and cold. That hole had finally, truly, begun to fill - the shapes of one another beginning to cover those time-worn wounds of the soul. In time, their hearts would grow around these new jigsaw pieces, and they would be whole again. So they each hoped, at least.

Purity pulled away from Esper James, face glistening with a wetness both her own and her blonde's. A grin of her own formed in the blink of an eye, hemmed with mischief, but sewn from care. The arm around Esper James adjusted itself, Puri's hand taking EJ by the back of the head, dragging her down. The pinkette leaned back down to Est, cheeks now flush; Est wasn't so ignorant as to miss what Purity was doing, grin replaced with puckered lips.

EJ only put two and two together once the three were close enough to share breath; when she did, however, her excitement was palpable. She puckered her slim lips without a moment of hesitation, and then a further pull from Purity completed the gesture. Three sets of lips made contact, pushing upon one another, mingling without conflict. EJ briefly considered putting out her tongue, as she had become to accustomed to with Purity; she decided against it, though. The hand left the back of her head as she closed her eyes; she could feel Purity jostle as she pulled the veil free, tossing it aside.

This kiss lasted longer than those before, long enough, in fact, that their closeness became a focal point. Esthrielle had insisted they try again. Purity and Esper James were more than happy to accommodate. A pair of hands other than her own went to Purity's habit, working it up and off of her body for her. It was cast aside, off to where the veil now lay, and finally the three of them were each bare. It was a lot for Esthrielle, just as it had been when they had first tried to make this work...

...but now? Now, she was ready for it. She knew what to expect. She had steeled her heart, though it was girded with affection as much as determination. She didn't just want an orgasm; none of them did, in the end. Esthrielle wanted to make love to the women who had accepted her for who, and what, she was.

The first rush of sensation within her loins felt perverse, shameful. It felt as guilty as a guilty pleasure could be, and without reason; she knew what she had signed up for, in a sense. She was no stranger to self-gratification, though she'd never let anyone know as much. Why did Esper James's hands evoke such timid eroticism in her? She broke their shared kiss, then; not to scold, or to protest, but to ensure she could take in needed breaths. She was glad for her own decisive action when Purity leaned down, tenderly biting her neck, a lone hand going to join Esper James's.

Esthrielle trembled, flesh aquiver, hair beginning to stand on end. Every curl of a finger, every tender caress, every prod or poke... They sent electricity burning through her body like an overloaded fusebox. It was a shock that her prosthesis didn't begin smoking like one, as well. Where they both seemed to be focusing on her, she gave her own inexperienced touch to them - only to find a partner already palming her intended targets.

Est warbled out a sound of pleasure, Purity prepping her, Esper James taking charge. It was cute, EJ thought - distinctly cute, that this was how they had sort of fallen into things. Instead of a big, complicated group-fuck, here they were, snuggling one another and sharing warmth and fingers and hands. If it wasn't so sweet, she might've thought it was kinky; but being able to open her eyes and see Purity's and Est's faces right there, inches away from her own? Sharing breath, sharing thoughts, loving one another without the need for words?

That hole in her patchwork grew that much smaller, and she squirmed to try and get even closer to her lovers. Purity chuckled to herself at EJ's eagerness, absent-minded wrist motion becoming more concerted. Esper James twitched and tensed in response, above and below; as was done in heaven, so too was done on earth. It was exactly what Purity had wanted.

The act was well-practiced, at least by one of their party, and the most amateur among them was eager to learn and quick to acclimate. They lay there for the duration, never minding the time, never thinking of anything outside of this very room. Atop a bed that was not their own, each woman was brought to bear by her partners; within seconds of one another, if anyone had been paying attention. They weren't. If you asked any of them, they would have all given the same answer: it was simultaneous. It just felt better to think of it that way, and it was close enough, anyways.

Esthrielle clung to Esper James as Purity rose to a stand, more familiar with the sensation that afterglow brought than the other two were. The Wayward didn't mind the dilution of EJ's sweat with her own, or vice versa - the three women were all glistening in the warm glow of the sconces, anyways. She went to kiss the other woman just as Esper James went to kiss her; they ended up deciding to meet in the middle. They didn't even really notice Purity's hands on their legs, spinning them, adjusting their positioning.

Puri was lucky that the other two girls were fairly petite. It only took a sliver of overall effort for her to right their angle, lay their heads upon the pillows, and climb in beside them. Today, Esthrielle got to be middle spoon, it seemed. She didn't mind in the slightest - or wouldn't have, if she had even really been paying attention. Instead, the only thing she could think of other than her lovers was the light level in the room. A quick mental command, transmitted to an unseen sensor, shut them down; the trio were plunged into darkness.

Gently-laboured breathing was the only sound in the room, save for an air-circulation fan set into the ceiling. They calmed the rise and fall of their chests as their afterglows truly overstayed their welcomes, and soon, it was a comfortable sort of quiet in the dormitory. In that pitch-black darkness, Est put a hand out for the women on either side of her; finding a matching palm, she held them. A contented sigh found its way out of EJ's voicebox, and Est mimicked it, an unseen smile plastered to her lips.

Quite the memory to make, Est thought. Tomorrow was EJ's testing. They had to get plenty of sleep, to ensure things went well.