Heartthrob

That evening came with a somber aura, a dampened mood that hung upon the quartet like a heavy yoke. The pains of recent nocturnal happenings still stung and ached like fresh scars, and all - save Kell, as far as was known - had suffered. It felt like a slab of stone had been slung about their necks by a rope, every last motion too draining to do quickly or with even a hint of energy. Even Kell seemed to be feeling it - she had been playing with her sidearm all night, her normal shotgun propped up in the corner. That, too had been fiddled with for a time, but racking the pump on repeat and then reloading the shells by hand had become too droll to continue on.

Purity had done her part to, in her own appraisal, an admirable degree. As soon as EJ was up and about, Purity had begun coddling her as much as her own diminished social battery allowed. Esthrielle awoke later, and took longer to rise from their approximation of a bed. Once the three were each in some semblance of wakefulness, they took to the couch, prodded and herded there by Purity's well-meaning musings. Once there, they fell about one another, Esper James taking her place in the center, Est to her left, Purity to her right.

It was Kell's turn to go gather their food for the evening, and so the trio was left alone with one another for company. It was peaceful... serene in ways that had escaped each of them in recent days, and yet, the looming dread of discovery hung above them as a new-age sword of Damocles. Every night, the frayed string threatened to snap - and every morning, as they slept, the rats of Tsang came to nibble at each little fiber. Even rare moments of calm like these were marred by the ever-present threat that their individual crimes had brought upon themselves.

However, they couldn't simply languish indefinitely, letting the time while away as they marked the midnights until the bogeyman of corporate tyranny found and dispatched them. And frankly, while the second-living were allowed a degree of neglect in their own self-care, those who yet retained full organic function had no such liberties. It had been some time at this point since Purity or Esthrielle had last had a god damn bath, all things considered, and its not like this abandoned factory had any semblance of a shower - or at least, not one that still worked.

And so, at Purity's urging, they began to brainstorm. Basic hygiene was important now perhaps more than ever - not like if they caught something they could just go see a doctor or anything like that. No, they had to find some way to get clean. Especially EJ, with how bloody she had been when she arrived home the other evening. The trio went down the list of options they could think of, each one contemplated and then ruled out in turn.

A motel bathroom? No, that was too public, and with the activities that surrounded most of the seedier, lower-quality motels in Vitus, they had as good a chance of getting mugged or worse as they did getting a hot bath. A trucker rest-stop? While they existed in profusion in Vitus, many of them also had Tsang agents there for the convenience of drivers who needed to get loading and offloading information, or just coordination with Tsang in general. Plus, most of the rest-stops were near the outskirts of Vitus, and Vitus was large to the point of enormity.

EJ or Purity's old apartments? Hell no. EJ's place was presumably ash and cinders from the fire, and Purity's abode... Firstly, too public. She had lived in a nicer area of Vitus, and so cameras were ubiquitous, in addition to more upstanding residents who would actually report them to the authorities. And furthermore, though she didn't voice this concern, Purity wasn't sure if she was strong enough to go back and see the vestiges of a life now left behind. Both the good and the bad would cripple her: the photos of her parents, the little knick-knacks she had decorated with, even the kitchen stove where she had cooked many a meal for sleepover guests...

And of course, the more negative aspects as well: the hollow bedpost where she kept a silvered knife, the drawer where she kept her toys and a roll or two of condoms, the Tsang standard-issue distress beacon in the closet that she had been given that she was also fairly convinced was an auditory surveillance device. Each of these and more would break her down more than they would build her up, and the benefit of getting a hot, cleansing shower or bath with her companions wasn't enough incentive to even try to block out the memories.

Frankly, she'd rather the place just burned the hell down, like EJ's apartment. We can't always get what we want in life, though...

The next idea, from EJ's lips to the trio's ears, was to head to a bathhouse. After the War of Benefaction, much of Asia was destroyed in nuclear war - with many refugees fleeing to either the ERFS through way of Siberia, or to the UNAC by sea paths to Hawaii, or some of the other relatively nearby islands that the UNAC had annexed or outright conquered in the war. As such, vestiges of various Asian cultures inundated various niches of everyday life in the UNAC, but it was far more prominent in the unofficially Tsang-owned Vitus.

And so, a bathhouse wasn't an unlikely thing to see nestled between businesses on any given street. Of course, as luxury areas, they were far from accessible in most regions of the city... though there were a few seedier options in the underbelly of town, usually sharing a space with other businesses of ill repute like quote unquote "massage parlours". Still, they got you clean... And that was what the three of them needed, right?

Initially, Est started to reject the idea, but Purity raised a finger to give her pause. Est fell silent as per request, and EJ began to make her case. Having changed into a pair of grey sweatpants and an unmarked black shirt, both acquired from a shelter's charity offerings, she spoke with a timid inflection of cowed deference to ensure she didn't step on any toes. "W-Well, uh... If we go to a, a discount place, y'know, Tsang isn't gonna find us there... Cameras in those districts are always getting painted over, or so I heard at work..."

Est's expression softened, and she crossed her mechanized arms, a little hiss emitting from a few discreet vents near the shoulders as they shifted. Esper James continued on, emboldened by the reaction, nestling herself deeper into Purity's loose embrace as the blonde turned to bodily face Est. "A-And, you know how those sorts of places are, right? Like... Cops don't hang around there! They know better... And it was a huge profit-sink to keep deploying troopers around high-crime areas, cause of constant turnover, so they stopped doing it..."

Est grinned at that, though the mirth was mostly directed disparagingly towards Tsang. It felt fitting that the corporate plutocrats of Tsang would leave the poor to suffer in crime-riddled backstreets simply for sake of their own revenue flow. The Wayward sighed and tightened her crossing-arms position, making a great and performative show of rolling her eyes and head back and away in a display of resignation. This was accompanied by a loud, overdone vocalization somewhere between a groan and a sigh.

"Aaaaugh, fineeeeee. Shit, you two would walk straight into a god damn snake nest if it gave you a chance to prove me wrong, wouldn't you? Fuck it. Get your shit gathered up, I'll write Kell a note explaining where we're off to. Puri, pull up directions or something, yeah? I've got a credit card, I'll pay..." As she pushed to a stand, the weighty mood was somewhat lifted, and Esper James even found herself smiling. A girls' night out on the town? Not going somewhere Judas would be able to find them? It sounded like just what the mortician ordered.

Without much further ado, the three of them began their trek. Purity used her phone to pull up a direct route to the nearest bathhouse, Est took a spare handgun that Kell had procured and left for the three of them 'just in case', and EJ... EJ was there. Esper James showed up for moral support. Frankly, that was good enough, and though she tried to put the thought of it from her mind, she was at least slightly convinced that if the chips were down and they were backed against a wall, she could gather up some of that feral nature that pooled in the hearts of all second-living.

She tried not to think about the taste of that officer's flesh and blood on her tongue as she told herself she could become that beast again, if necessary. She could feel the pull of it in her mind even with the barest of consideration, and she'd rather not degenerate into a meat-eating monster who knew only brutality and hunger when her only dining options were her lover and her compatriot.

Compatriot? That didn't feel right. But neither did calling Est a friend, not after the other night... Not after every night they'd shared came together in one great knot of pain and comfort, at the very least. Though she knew the circumstances were anything but ideal, she couldn't help but feel a growing affinity for Esthrielle after everything, and she could only hope the pale-haired girl felt the same. It felt strange to consider, to directly address in her mind, but...

Even since the first time they had slept beside one another, back when Est had EJ housing her under duress, she couldn't help but feel some measure of fondness for her touch and presence. And these recent evenings, sleeping beside her and Purity, without any pretense of duress or expectation of compliance or anything even close, had any pre-existing emotional barriers worn down to the nub. She liked Est, and not only as a friend, though outright contemplation of those sorts of feelings made the ghoulette feel weak.

After all, she had Purity. Purity was amazing, was everything Esper James had ever wanted: caring, sweet, kind, comforting, plush to the touch, and to be blunt, great in bed - though EJ was loathe to admit she didn't have much experience to compare Purity's performance to in the slightest. Purity was, in a lot of ways, EJ's dream girl... or what she had always told herself was her dream girl. She checked all the boxes; she was the type of girl, trauma-induced abuse aside, that EJ would have taken home to Halifax to meet her family.

So why Est? Why now? These feelings didn't seem to have a cause, no determinable wellspring, but... She thought back to that night in the snow and dark and cold, running barefoot through slush and ice, the heavy weight of Judas's gun in her hand. Two shots rang out through the dark in her memorial reverie, and in the present, she shut her eyes and let the hands of her companions lead her through the streets and down rough concrete paths towards their destination.

She had told herself she didn't kill Est because she couldn't have brought herself to. Now, in the face of two new bodies in the morgues at her own hands, she was reconsidering that explanation. She did have what it took to kill - but then again, the men that EJ had killed were only condemned to second-life, not true death. Killing Est, though... There would have been no second chance. No coming dawn to drag her up and out of the depths, no mortician to pull her from the cold-wombs. No future. Just the darkness that lingered past the veil.

When she broke free of her reminisce, eyes re-opening, they were at the bathhouse. A bright sign in flickering neon kanji spoke the name of the establishment: 'Onigashima Bathhouse'. A few poorly-done murals of Japanese ogres from distant myth adorned the otherwise unappealing brick walls of the building, but otherwise, the only approximation of decor was a large hand-made sign of plywood that hung from a string nailed to the wall near an open window and counter. The sign entailed prices, for baths and services rendered.

She grimaced as she noticed the few people hanging around the counter: two women and an effeminate man, dressed far too scantily for the icy weather, each of them smoking a cheap-smelling cigarette. The slender male's eyes lit up as he saw the trio, and he flipped his long brown locks from his shoulder in a flirtatious gesture, only managing to take a single step towards the three fugitives before a silent glare from Est cowed him. The three street-workers stepped off to the side of the counter as Esthrielle approached, leaning against the sheer steel of it to address the greasy, overweight man who seemed to be the proprietor.

A few doors along the outside of the building were their salvation: doors to individual baths. While Est discussed the price and accoutrements with the owner, Purity took EJ's held hand and used it to gently coax her over to one of the doors. It was marred with graffiti both lecherous and crass, but even from outside, the pair could feel warmth radiating from the door. EJ shivered, and leaned into Purity's body.

"You excited, EJ? Finally, a god damn bath... Something to get that blood out of your hair, and a chance to freshen up. It feels like it's been fucking centuries since I last got to feel hot water on my skin..." Purity waxed nostalgic for the sensation of a shower, going to put her arms about her diminutive lover to squeeze her tightly. Esper James wouldn't even dream of letting the gesture go unrewarded, and nuzzled into the taller woman's torso in return.

Only a minute or two more and Esthrielle had returned. She bore with her an armful of hygiene goods: disposable toothbrushes, a single travel-sized bottle of shampoo, and a similarly pathetic-looking tube of toothpaste. There was a cheap bar of soap stuffed into one of her pockets. She gestured with her head towards the door, and Purity took the lead, opening it and heading on in. None of them commented on the apparent lack of locking mechanism.

On the inside, the room was small but stiflingly hot and steamy: plain tiled floors in a light shade of grey perfectly complimented plain brick walls in a similar shade of grey, the entire room given a damp warmth from the circular bath in the center of the room. A lone fluorescent light attached to the ceiling gave the room anything but a cultivated ambiance, unless the ambiance being cultivated was discomfort and alertness.

Purity began to undress first, soon joined by Esper James; Est waited until the other two were fully bared and dipping into the bath to take her turn, her trust far from placed in the lone, unlocked door standing between them and any potential delinquents. The water was hot, at least, and looked to be clean, though it was a far cry from the scented pools of enriched comfort that an upscale bathhouse would provide.

Initially, each woman sat with space between themselves, focusing on actually bathing. For Esper James, even her first night with Purity was hard-pressed to compete with the ecstasy of cleaning the dried blood and oily grime from herself. She dunked herself beneath the surface and held her head down there until she couldn't stand it anymore - minutes passed, many more than a mortal could attain. When she resurfaced, gasping in air, she found Purity and Est snickering at her antics before going to imitate her in turn. After all, their hair did need washing.

No words were said for an indeterminably long stretch of time. Purity simply slid herself along the seat-ledge which lined the outside of the bath to get closer to EJ, going to wash her hair for her without any request being made or necessary; EJ, in turn, beckoned soundlessly for Esthrielle to come closer so that the blonde could scrub the Wayward's own mop of hair. Est begrudgingly accepted, hesitant at first, but feeling EJ's hands upon her and carefully, tenderly massaging her scalp while scrubbing her hair clean? It had Est's initial resistance melting into the waters of the bath which surrounded her.

Once Est's hair was clean, she shook herself from the state of pleasant acceptance she had allowed herself to be coaxed into, going then to help EJ wash Purity's hair. Once all three women had their hair scrubbed and soaked, they began to share the single bar of soap amongst themselves: the washing of the body was far less a group activity than the head, at least tonight, and so they lingered there in the warmth while each of them had their turn with the soap.

And then, cleanliness acquired, they sat. Still wordless, though not soundless: Purity hummed gently, pleasantly, to herself - Est sighed at odd intervals with contented tones, the warm cocoon of the waters helping to drain away the grief and pain of the past week. It would take a lot more than a hot bath to help her deal with her trauma, but it was a start.

How long had they been in that bath? In that room, even? Ten minutes? Twenty? An hour? The time had escaped each of them, any semblance of caution or focus on such matters having been cast aside in favor of languishing apathetically in the warmth. Their defenses had been lowered completely, and the comfort of such a luxury wasn't lost on any of them; it was nearly euphoric, just getting to sit there, lean against the wall of the tub, and shut their eyes for a few moments.

Eventually, those earlier thoughts dredged themselves up in EJ's brain, and she found her eyes wandering back to Est. She was... It burned EJ up, how cute Est was in that moment. How normal she seemed... how real, how nearly harmless she looked. She wasn't a killer, not like she had been when the two had first met. She wasn't the same woman she had been a week ago, far from it, in fact. That was nice, to be fully honest - Est had been callous, nearly outright cruel when the two had first met in the alley. But now, she was just a person that EJ cared about, without any sort of coercion involved or even needed.

But also, that raised a further question. Were any of them the same person as they were a week ago, really? EJ felt a ball form in the pit of her stomach at the self-imposed question, one that was simultaneously burning hot and icy cold. Fuck. Was anyone really ever the same after things like they had gone through?

She sighed, though it came out more as a whimper. Everything suddenly felt so fucked. She hoped, quietly and desperately, that things could maybe start going right for her for a change.