Heartthrob

Things had been tense, in a strange way, ever since EJ had been released from the infirmary. They were tense in the way that Est wouldn't let EJ go anywhere alone anymore - tagging along for every bathroom trip, every jaunt off to Zofia's little mad scientist hovel, every trip to the kitchen for a midnight snack (a new privilege, bestowed in light of her previous difficulties; and, arguably, as a reward for compliance).

EJ didn't mind... she couldn't mind, really. Not that she did in the first place, of course, but... it was good to remind herself that she didn't really have a choice, because at least then it felt a bit more akin to an inevitability, rather than a consequence. Letting it be an inevitability just meant she got to hang out with Est more, and give Purity some breathing room; she wanted both of those things, and so it was far easier for her to deal with when put through that lens.

Time to be alone became time to be with a lover; she had yet to feel truly lonely since she and Purity had even fled with Kell to the factory, but now? Loneliness was the furthest thing from her mind. In a way, a sick, uncertain way, she loved that she never had to be apart from the women she cared about. She had yearned for so very long for this... for the comfort, this constant presence, the absence of absence itself...

It was, perhaps, a result of too much media consumption. She'd drowned herself in so many fanfics, so many doujin and manga and so on and so forth, and so very many of them had, well... To be honest, problematic relationships. Those things had mixed with her own loneliness, her own lack of love in her life, and blossomed into a black-petaled bloom which soaked up every last drop of moonlight in her tar-riddled heart. The garden of EJ's feelings had quickly become dominated by this fascination; now that she was living it? It was every bit as wonderful as she had thought it would be.

And while Est supervised Esper James like she was a prisoner being escorted about her penitentiary, Purity was... well, distant. More and less dejected by the day, she wasn't nearly so ever-present as she had initially been. Esper James had still been working things out with herself, trying to figure out where her own head was at after all of this, when she really noticed Purity's distance... and it was anything but a pleasant revelation.

So, for the past three or so days (at least, EJ thought it had been Saturday when she had woken up in the infirmary), she had been minimizing any action that didn't lead directly to the three of them being around each other as often, and as closely, as possible. Eating together was a given... showering together, too, was to be expected. Sleeping as a single unit? Of course.

But more than that, Esper James had immediately begun to insist that the three of them always went together to any testing the Waywards had planned for the little blonde. That meant, regardless of how impactful it was, the three of them needed to come to a consensus as to when they would actually be free to go. It was easier than it might've been, had they still been leading semi-normal lives... they had no television to catch, no movies to pause, no events to interrupt. Their lives revolved a fair bit around the tests.

But still, even in the three days it had been? On Tuesday, Purity wanted to rest in their dorm all day - and so, they had missed one day of three, because one of them wanted to stay in their room and not go to the lab. Thinking about it that way didn't help, EJ thought... thinking about it as though, somehow, Purity's slump was some sort of issue, or an obstruction to everyone else's joy. It wasn't fair to her.

No, she understood perfectly well why Purity would be so fucked up; in fact, she knew damn well she would've been exactly the same, had the two swapped places. If Purity had been the one getting shot, and EJ had only learned of it after the fact? And that it had only happened because of a deception, and because EJ hadn't been there to stop Purity, or coax her out of such a riled-up state? Or so on, and so forth, and this and that and the other thing... EJ beat herself up about it for a long while, really, but it had only happened a few days ago. She'd wait till it wasn't so fresh.

The point, then, was that Purity's behavior was anything but condemnable. Esper James sat on her bed, thinking all these thoughts, letting them pour thru her and run overtop of her as if she was a corpse dumped in a river. Currently, the bedroom cum dorm cum holding cell that the three women took up residence within was as it often was, given the recent changes in attitudes and behaviors.

Esper James was practically chained to Purity, both of them lounging in bed, snuggling and watching videos on Purity's phone. Esthrielle was currently away, off in the convent's fitness centre (a fancy name for a gym, EJ thought), doing her best to keep her organic segments at their peak. Even after mechanizing all her limbs, she still found great benefit in repeated training, if only to remember the motions and memorize the sensations of it all.

That made a fair bit of sense to Esper James - it had when Est explained it, anyways. Even as a second-living, EJ liked to be up during the daylight to remember what it was like to be a morning person. She liked to feel the sun on her skin, to feel its warmth in her pores, and its glow lighting up her hair... she didn't often get the chance amidst the smog-choked cityscape, but when she did, it was cathartic.

And so, she assumed it was the same for Esthrielle. Feeling her muscles burn, her body make those old, familiar motions... It had to be nice, right? Comforting, like a memory of home. Speaking of home, though, EJ snapped herself from her dissociative fog just in time to see Purity make a long, loud yawn. The pinkette's plush cheeks rose and her soft lips split; her mouth formed a great oval, and the sound of sleepiness poured then from the taller woman's mouth. It rose up into the air, music to EJ's ears, though music that also brought the siren song of sleep in its wake.

Esper James was caught by just how very cute it was. Like, sure, Purity wasn't trying to be cute about something so basic as yawning, but still. When you were smitten, sometimes such basic events can seem quite cute, can't they? EJ held herself back from saying something about it, though - Purity was fairly morose again today, and while she was in high enough spirits to cuddle, Esper James felt it best not to push her luck.

Instead, EJ simply joined in the yawn, snuggling up closer to Purity once they had both expressed their bodies' desire for further sedentary activity. The blonde's head rested upon Purity's chest, somewhere across both the right breast and the right collarbone; her cheek pressed to supple bosom, and her eyes gazed up at Purity's phone. They had been watching a cop drama about a lesbian cop whose lover turns to a life of crime under a convoluted premise that, as long as the cop investigates whatever crimes her lover is in, she won't get caught. EJ thought it was pretty cool... but, living in Vitus, it felt a bit too close to the truth to really discount her unease at the premise.

Purity shifted her gaze down to EJ, closing her mouth and giving off a dim little flicker of love, the gentle curl of a smile at lips' edge. She continued to watch her blonde babe, eyes averted as a gratuitous sex scene came on their show (sex sells, after all)... and, after about a solid minute of staring down into EJ's skyward eyes, she paused the show.

EJ raised a brow, putting her arms around Purity's midsection to snuggle up that much closer, giving her lover a quizzical expression. Purity yawned once more, smaller and quicker and less pronounced; once it was finished, she took the chance to speak. "Hmmmnh... EJ. We... I... We need to talk a little, yeah? While... while Est isn't here."

Ice shot thru EJ's veins immediately, then - her blood practically froze in its tracks, and she stumbled over her own tongue like a track and field specialist who couldn't hop a hurdle. When finally she found lingual footing to actually speak, Purity just continued ahead with a gentle smile and a playful sort of disdainfulness taking refuge in her eyes. EJ felt a bit smaller, seeing the expression, how aloof and amused it was... and even more so after fumbling her words so badly.

"EJ, I... I love you. I love you so damn much, you know? And..." She took a deep breath, then, drawing in an enormous gulp of air before releasing it in a single immense sigh. "...and I want us to work. You and me, first and foremost - I love Est, she's so sweet and reliable and lovely, but I started all this with you. I owe it to you to stick it out, and do everything I can for us, right?" EJ yearned to say 'right'.

She continued on, words proceeding without fault or fumble. Esper James's silence seemed to fuel the Vitus native's own monologue, and as said fuel was added to the metaphorical fire, the flames climbed and climbed towards the sky. Purity's enthusiasm grew, and some of the emotion which had been hidden away deigned it fit to re-announce themselves to the world. Purity even set her phone down on the nightstand, before rolling over to face EJ head on - going to ape the embrace Esper James was giving her, though Purity's arms wrapped about the smaller girl's upper torso.

"I mean, I'll be blunt. I've been in a pretty bad funk ever since you fucking snuck out and got yourself shot. It was a huge breach of trust. And, like... it was fucking disrespectful, right? We wanted to be there with you, knowing full well that you'd be going through some bullshit. And..." Her barely-there smile faded a bit, returning to the neutral look of apathy she had held earlier. Purity sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing at them.

"And, yeah. Est and I reacted badly initially. I saw you nearly drown, and I've... I've gone on dates with a lot of second-living. I know how bad it is for them, even just the fear of drowning. But the actual thing? The specifics of it? I was distraught, because I thought my beloved ghoul was going to go through literal Hell until they could pump your lungs." Apathy became annoyance; it danced at the edge of being something more, but managed to refrain only just.

Esper James was cowed by this mild tirade, the strength of Purity's words a cruel dichotomy against the softness and sweetness of her tone. Puri wasn't a girl whose voice lent itself easily to being vicious, or upset, or even a little peeved. Now, here she was, trying to get across her own negative emotions to Esper James, when the blonde had only maybe seen Purity angry once or twice before. If that, honestly.

"We reacted badly. But... so what? You could have, and should have, said something to us. We should have had a talk about it, not just... you making a decision, one that affects all of us, by yourself. It was awful." She let her rage simmer for a few moments, the words lingering in the air even as EJ's heart lingered in her own throat. Purity could've simply left it at that, and it would have remained on Esper James's chest like a leaden weight all the way until Esthrielle returned. Thankfully, in a way, she continued.

"It was awful, EJ, being in bed and trying to... trying to recover, mentally, from seeing you drown. From seeing what a terrible shape you had been in. From seeing you soggy like a fucking wet towel, stripped nude, pumped full of morphine, getting your lungs drained out. Can you even fucking imagine what that was like for me? That double-whammy?" Her anger hadn't increased, but her annoyed look filled itself out to a full-on scowl.

EJ tried to think of some way to respond, but she couldn't for a long while - when she did think of something, anything, Purity interrupted her with a sound even as she tried to speak. "Uhp! No, no, let me finish, babe. I'm... almost done." Seeing EJ's yap close obediently, her big emerald greens still locked on Purity's glowing pinks, the club darling smiled once more. Satisfaction came easily when one had little to lose.

"But. But... I get it. I get why you did it, and so, I... I want us to work this out. I love you, EJ. I love you. You mean so much to me, more than the moon, the stars, and the planet itself. And, you, a-ah..." A light red tint began to hang about her ears and cheeks, and Purity's eyes shot down and away - looking at anything she could find that wasn't EJ's face. "Y-You were... understanding with me, when I did a... a fuck-up of my own. I got to fuck up once and you still let me come back. I'm... I'm willing to give you a chance to come back, too."

EJ's worried heart flourished, then, into a bouquet of loving red. She couldn't even begin to describe how she was feeling - all the self-loathing she had accrued over sneaking out, brought to the fore to be stared down under the heat of Purity's blazing, scorching sun... but then to be cooled, to be granted succour and reprieve, being told that she was forgiven. And if not forgiven, she was at least understood.

Esper James was rapt with attention, eyes big and wide and locked dead upon Purity's own, whenever the pinkette saw fit to look down at her diminutive darling. Purity did so again after a moment or two, offering an awkward, bashful smile as her final expression in the parade of emotion she had displayed. "So. I'm willing to let this all go, if you are, and if we both promise to be better about this sort of thing in the future. No more... n-no more lying. We said it earlier; let's say it again. No more lies, okay?"

That seemed like as good a springboard as any for EJ to use to vault her way to verbal success. She nodded fervently, then burying her face into Purity's chest in a great embrace that set the two of them to giggling. "Yes! Yes, Puri, I promise! No more lies! No more lies, not now, not ever... you're so very right. It was stupid and fucking shitty of me to have done that, and we're both better off without that sort of behavior." There wasn't much more for EJ to say, though she absolutely felt as though she should. As a result? She simply buried herself even more emphatically into Purity's luxurious bosom.

Purity giggled again, rolling her eyes and going to peck Esper James on the forehead. She left an invisible silhouette of her lips, painted with gentle damp; another was set to mark Esper James's cheeks, and then her own lips. These plans were interrupted by the opening of the door, Esthrielle staggering in, breathing heavily and looking frantic. She slammed the door behind herself, though almost immediately, there was knocking.

Est was crying.

Purity noticed first; her amusement and mirth drained in a millisecond, replaced now with the concern of a lover who has just seen their partner appear disheveled and distraught. "Est? Est, what the...?! Esthrielle, come here, please...! What's wrong?!" Puri pushed herself to an upright sit in the bed, but she wasn't quite able to get all the way up without being forced to clamber overtop of EJ. That wasn't in the cards.

Est tried to babble something, but seemed distracted. One hand went up to her head, fingers entangling with her own hair; she seemed every bit the image of a woman who was enduring a great headache, the sort of migraine that made one feel as though the weight of a collapsing star had been leveled onto their cortices. She cried harder, and harder, her expression of distress becoming one of rage, then pain, then agony. She reached out with her spare hand towards the women in bed, for someone to help her.

EJ hopped to her feet, then, slipping out of bed and rushing over. She was, at first, set to simply carry Est back to the bed - but, realizing that Est was holding the door shut, Esper James decided it may have been more apt to simply replace her. And so, they swapped places - Est now free to move away, EJ holding the door shut with ghoulish strength. She was surprised that no one was really pushing on it, or trying to force an entry... just knocking every once in a while.

Est staggered over to the bed, and as soon as she was close enough, she let her legs give out and allowed herself to collapse onto the cushion. Purity was quick to gather the other woman up in her arms, dragging her the rest of the way onto the bed and holding her oh so very close. She was straight to the point, then, after a moment's embrace.

"Est? What's wrong?! Are you hurt - do we need to call someone? Please, fucking say something!"