Heartthrob

Sweat and sin dissipated, as they always do, to a few moments of snuggling and aftershocks.

Spur-of-the-moment intimacy had melted away into a soft and sweet congregation atop the bed. Esper James's head was still ringing a bit, from all the blood which had rushed only moments ago - both from touch and timidity - but, now that all was done and all parties had settled themselves in, she felt she could finally breathe. Of course, Est had been choking her, just a little, but... Ahem.

These tender seconds, chests slowing their rise and fall as exertion diminished, were both cherished and bewildering. EJ's head had been spinning from more than just Esthrielle's actions; frankly, she hadn't been expecting Lulu and Zofi to actually follow through with their earlier declaration that they weren't going to shy away whenever the lovers three made movements upon one another. If anything, EJ had assumed it was a placation, an announcement that they'd turn a blind eye to any dirty dealings, and would instead... Well, she didn't know. Focus on the TV? Play a card game? Read a book?

The ghoulette could not repress a wry, fang-toothed grin at that idea. Zofi and Lulu, huddled together, reading Wuthering Heights... until a stray droplet of ambiguous fluid stained the pages. Would make for quite the improper reading environment, eh?

Esper James shut her eyes, taking in a deep breath and releasing it with a satisfied sigh. Her head was lain upon Esthrielle's bare chest, nuzzled into one of the few remaining organic aspects of her Eastern amour; Esthrielle, for her own part, was leaned back on the comforter, one hand behind her head and the other resting lazily, yet protectively, atop Esper James's shoulder.

Est sported an expression and demeanor which could only be further complemented by the presence of an after-sex cigarette - all the bravado, smug self-satisfaction, and plainly-displayed contentment of a lover quite grateful for what their partner allowed of them. She stared up at the ceiling for some time, occasionally flitting her gaze to the pair of nuns who had taken up residence near the foot of the furnishings. Zofi and Lulu were speaking to one another, she could see plainly - local, closed-network communications suite usage, their messages in such profusion that even the nigh-imperceptible flicker of their irises was now visible to the unaltered eye. Or, so Est figured - she, of course, couldn't say for certain.

Here they lingered for a few more minutes; then, finally, Lucretia pushed herself to a stand with something akin to a grand flourish, putting her hands on her hips. "Okay bitches, up we get; no more crouching, no more sobbing!"

Following this, she reached out and took a stunned Zofi by the wrist and dragged her to her feet - and, then, drew her into a dancefloor twirl that ended in an emphatic dip. Everyone in attendance was, bluntly, slack-jawed - whatever the fuck had come over Lucretia was so far out of left field that it may well have originated in an entirely different stadium, but, it was somewhat infectious. EJ felt some seed of energy planted within her sternum, its roots stretching out through her core as Lulu twirled and tossed a compliant-yet-confused Zofia; Esthrielle, as well, was quickly taken in her enthusiasm.

The Italian coaxed Esper James up, urging her with soft words and gentle touch, until all four women were upright and standing. Once the last two ladies were off the bed, Lulu put either of her hands on Zofia's hips and lifted, drawing her up into the air above Lulu's head. With her head and eyes, however, Lulu gestured towards the bathroom. "Sweat-slick bodies might be the name of the game here, ahaha, but! But! Not outside! We've still gotta go shop - go clean up, sluts!"

Sluts?

Esper James was momentarily given pause to consider the new moniker, but raucous laughter from Esthrielle quickly drew her out of any undue introspection or deep-reading. She felt mirth well in her chest and spring forth, cackling to herself as the others in attendance - sans Zofi, of course - each fell about themselves.

Showers. Showers for sluts. Slutty showers? No, not that kind of slutty shower. Est and EJ were already nude, of course, so they simply hopped into the shower once its waters had reached sufficient heat; then, with all sexual pretense wrung dry by the events of only minutes ago, they were able to quickly clear away any lingering damp and freshen themselves. Once done, they re-dressed in their fresh(er) clothes, and styled their hair in the mirror - well, EJ brushed hers. Esthrielle's shock of white pseudo-hair was perpetually styled, re-forming as it dried.

And then, once all were prepared, they followed Purity's instructions - memorized as they came, recorded within internalized storage devices - on how to leave. More or less, though, it was as simple as taking the staff elevator down to the way they had initially arrived at La Scission. Out onto the street, slipping from the back alley with the casual gait of experienced infiltrators - except Esper James, but, the other three clouded her from view well enough until she could adjust into being in public once again. It took some time.

The streets were... Well, somehow, they were the same as they had always been - and yet, so very different. The people of Vitus had always been guarded, reserved, and yet... those downcast glances had been less furtive in the past, less distrustful of everyone and anyone that dared step in their vague, general direction.

Stolen story; please report.

On the alleyway walls that they passed, and plastered to newsstands, and even on the occasional light pole, a familiar blonde face stared back at them. Esper James recognized her Tsang ID picture, taken... God, over thirty years ago, and yet perpetually unchanging. The same dimples... the same long, soft, silken locks, though now they were all black. The same sharp, pristine ivories, built to shred and tear and flense and ravage flesh both cooked and raw, living and dead. Maybe... maybe a little less light in her eyes, nowadays. Maybe a little less joy.

She had never stopped being that twenty-three year old girl, had she? Not really. She was still just as stupid, just as foolish, just as gullible... just as soft of heart and soft of flesh, just as happy to get kicked around by anyone who seemed willing to do so. Just as worthless.

EJ knew she was going to get caught up in herself if she followed this trail of thought; she fought against it, just a little, for the sake of her companions. But, those very same companions would simply urge her on when she slowed, and hide her from sight if it was necessary... so... maybe she could give herself this; maybe she could indulge in a little self-loathing, as a treat. She deserved it, she felt - a little misery. God knew she had grown to find a sick comfort in being miserable.

The fugue overtook her, then, and she slipped back into the sinful security of well-worn mental pathways. The same issues came up, as they always did - and being aware that it was the same shit, over and over, only strengthened her belief that she hadn't changed at all. That girl on the wanted posters, with the cornsilk hair and the dyed tips and the red-flecked eyes and the big white teeth? That girl hadn't ever truly died - but nor had the girl that came after ever truly lived. They were one and the same, Esper James thought, and the second was only the first fooling herself that she could be something new.

As she began to truly, irreversibly sink down into those murky depths, she felt a sharp pain on her left arm. As she recoiled, she whipped her face upwards to regard her attacker - only to find Esthrielle looking down at her, face somewhere between amusement and sad concern.

"Hey, babe... I saw you getting sad again. Could feel your heart rate slow, your breathing get a little heavier and less frequent. You were really looking at the sidewalk, haha... but, stoppit, please. If it's... if it's some kind of 'oh, I put you in danger!' or 'oh, you could live normal lives without me!' type shit, don't. And if it's some kind of 'oh, I feel like a burden, or inadequate, or like I can't keep up!' type thing? Like when we were talking about us joining Catnip's enforcers?"

Esthrielle flashed those steely chompers, her bear trap maw catching the headlights of passing cars like a terrifying disco ball. There was warmth in her words, though - warmth that transcended the almost coarse nature of her words.

"Blagh. You're not. You're none of those things - weak, or a burden, or inadequate - and you need to stop fucking getting on yourself about issues you make up for yourself in your brain. Look, I... I know shit's hard, yeah? But shit's never not hard. Shit is gonna be hard forever, and the more you fucking flagellate yourself about it, the harder it's gonna be."

EJ stopped. She stared up into Est's eyes for a few moments, blinking slowly, drinking it in. The quartet had stopped; the three taller girls were looking down at her, now, and awaiting an answer. Esper James had to swallow hard before daring to speak up.

"...Okay. Yeah. I know... I know this is far from the first time I've gotten like this, I... phew. It's just scary, you know? Feeling like everyone hates you. Feeling like you're at war with the entire world you've lived your whole life in, for no more reason than, just... I dunno, than just being you." She faked a smile, but even though it was forced, there was genuine comfort in getting this response.

Est sighed, putting her arms out and around to encase Esper James in a firm, insistent embrace. She was joined by Zofi and Lulu after a moment - and then, there the four stood, three of them smooshing a single shorter centerpiece with a hug that was equal parts organic and synthetic. Their limbs may have been made of steel and silicone, but the emotions behind them pressed through to Esper James's heart, and radiated in a way that warmed her in spite of the wintry night's piercing chill.

They stayed like this for a time - but that time was, admittedly, brief. Eventually, they needed to pick up their feet and keep on walking.

Esper James felt her spirit lightened, though, from even that brief respite. As they trudged along, Esthrielle wordlessly discussing with the others where they should first head, EJ still couldn't help herself but to look at every wanted poster they passed - but, now, a renewed sense of confidence quashed down the dread.

Before the quarter loomed Jacobson's, a department store that had all but cannibalized the majority of independent retailers for household goods, furnishings, and clothing in Vitus. There was a Jacobson's in every section of Vitus, for ease of access and maximization of profit... and, if Jacobson's didn't have an item, it wasn't worth having was likely a bit pricier than the average citizen could afford, or decidedly niche. EJ hadn't had any ideas, really, of what to get for Purity or Esthrielle... but...

...well, if there was something to get either of them, Jacobson's was the best place to find it.

Esthrielle made a sweeping gesture towards the building that loomed over them now, a bold grin slashed from one side of her face to the other. "Ta-dah! This, my friends, is the peak of Western living! Everything you could ever want or need in one single building, packed so incredibly tightly with plastic and corn syrup that- well, hmm, maybe not the corn syrup, since you're all carnivores..."

Est faltered on her joke, but Zofi and Lulu began to laugh anyhow. EJ joined them, Esthrielle's performative bravado - and its subsequent shattering and departure - giving her more than enough mirth to focus on something happier than her previous melancholy. A deep breath stalled her laughter, but filled her chest with plenty of breath to bolster her that much more.

Now... time for their shopping trip. First time in a month or so, right? Two, maybe? The nights were escaping her. And... well, haha, maybe they'd run into Purity inside. She wondered how Purity was doing.